


Elevators and Blackouts

by makeme123



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Carmilla AU, Carmilla elevator, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Hollstein elevator, Tiny Gay Laura Hollis, fan fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-13
Updated: 2015-12-14
Packaged: 2018-03-22 18:22:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 153,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3738733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makeme123/pseuds/makeme123
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carmilla and Laura live across the hall in LA. A heatwave caused blackout leaves them stuck in an elevator for hours.  Time to meet your neighbor...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cow branding and awkward encounters

**Author's Note:**

> Laura and Carmilla get stuck in an elevator..

 

**4:25pm-**

 

Laura shifted her shopping bags to one arm and fumbled through her bag that was slung over her shoulder for her keys. She had the weekend off  from the newspaper and had already decided to spend it watching Netflix in her small but air conditioned apartment.  

L.A. decided it wanted to have a heatwave from hell and she was determined to escape it as much as possible, which was actually turning out to be more difficult than she thought.  It was hot enough that for the last couple days there had been rolling blackouts- that means street lights, air conditioning, lights, everything would randomly just quit with no warning and just stay that way however long it wanted. 

She found her keys and finally made it inside the building (miraculously not spilling the contents of her grocery bags) and made her way towards the elevator. 

"Hey, L!" They said over their shoulder while locking up their door.  LaFontaine was one of the apartment managers, along with Perry. Laura had become friends with them fairly quickly after moving there a month ago. 

"Hey Laf! Headed out into the heat?" Laura smiled and walked towards them.

"Ya, Perry wants more ice cream. All ours melted during the last power outage.  I tried to tell her we could make our own, it's just a little science and dairy, ya know? But she insisted I go buy some instead." Laf sighed, but with a smile.

 _They really are the cutest._   "Well, good luck getting it back here without it melting first. I think most my chocolate is mush by now. I didn't really think my shopping list through today." 

With that Laf reached into one of Laura's grocery sacks and grabbed a bag of m&ms and opened it. They poured out a hand full and threw them in their mouth.  "Nothing wrong with a little melted chocolate" they said with their mouth full. They chuckled and handed the bag to Laura and left with a wave over the shoulder.

Laura laughed and walked back to the elevator, hit the button and reached into the opened bag of m&ms. She put a handful of chocolate in her mouth and hummed happily to herself. Once the elevator doors opened she practically bounced inside and waited for the doors to close. 

 _Chocolate and Netflix. This is going to be a great weekend_. 

 

——

**4:25pm--**

"Where the frilly hell is it?!" Carmilla yelled to herself. She picked up a pile of clothes from the floor and threw them across the room, searching for her phone.  She really should learn how to clean up after herself.   
_Ya, Like that would happen anytime soon._

She's about to give up and leave without it when she hears it ring somewhere in the room.  She immediately stops moving, holding clothes above her and slowly turning her head, like she could scare the ringing into stopping If she moved too quickly. She looks around trying to follow the sound-- she hears it near the bed and pounces in that direction, practically falling to the floor tripping on things to get there, she finally finds it under a poorly stacked pile of books next to her bed.

“What?!" She snaps, securing the phone between her ear and shoulder as she continues to search through her clothes for her favorite flannel shirt. 

"Well hello to you too, kitty"

Will. She loved her brother, even when she hated him.  When he acted like the older brother, like right now, that was when she hated him most. Even though she knew he just cared.

The dark haired girl sighed and rolled her eyes, "Sorry, I'm running late, what's up?"

"Just calling to wish you luck with dinner. And to tell you not to be late tonight."

"Got it, short stack. I gotta run though, see you at the bar later."  She hung up the phone without waiting for a response and slid it in the back pocket of her leather pants.  She knows he means well, but him calling about dinner is just making her feel more anxious about it than she already was.

She grabbed her flannel from off the chair by her bed and quickly put it on.   It's bloody hot outside but that just means the bar will have the AC pumping and might actually get cool in there tonight. 

Running towards the door she grabs her guitar case and keys off the table next to the door, she rushes out towards the elevator shutting the door behind her. 

Hitting the 'down' button she stares at the doors, willing them to open.  She can't be late for dinner, that would only add to the awkward tension she's sure will be there to begin with.  She hadn't seen her mom in a few months, they had exchanged a few texts and quick phone calls but hadn't really talked since their last fight.  Fighting wasn't rare for them, they've never really agreed on a lot of things.  Mostly disagreeing about the way Carmilla lived her life. 

\---------

**4:35pm--**

The doors open and Laura looks up, her smile immediately disappearing and being replaced with a look of... shock? Embarrassment? No-- nervousness.   It's her floor, but she doesn't move. Instead she stares at the girl standing in front of her. 

This has been happening more lately. It didn't start this way, their first meeting was, less than enjoyable, to say the least. Every meeting up to that point actually.  But even she had to admit, no matter how frustrating the dark haired girl was, she was gorgeous. And confident. Like she knew she was beautiful but didn't flaunt it. And sarcastic, smart and witty and... Something else. But Laura hadn't figured out what, yet.

So she continued to stand there.  Staring. Eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights.

\--

**4:35pm--**

The doors opened and Carmilla was about to step forward when she noticed the girl standing there, hands full of grocery bags, with an odd expression on her face.  She knew it was her floor, the blonde lived across the hall from her, so she waited for her to leave the elevator. But the blonde didn't move. 

Carmilla raised an eyebrow at the girl frozen in the elevator and when she still showed no sign of moving, she stepped into the elevator and pushed the button for the lobby.  She knew the blonde was still staring and a small smirk crept onto her face as the doors closed.  

"Wasn't that your floor, cupcake?" She looked over at her, still smirking. 

Laura's grip tightened on the bags in her arms.  

"Oh crap."  _Great Laura. That's not embarrassing._  

Carmilla let out a small chuckle but stopped laughing immediately when the elevator jolted to a stop and the lights flickered off.

The power was out.  

"Dammit!" Carmilla spat out, reaching forward in the dark for the buttons near the elevator door. 

Laura could have sworn she sounded not only angry at the situation, but a little scared too.  The emergency lights flickered on offering a very dim glow in the elevator, enough light to confirm Laura's previous thought.  The extremely beautiful and once confident girl stuck in the elevator with her looked scared. Terrified even. 

Carmilla started frantically hitting the buttons, her eyes shifting to look around the elevator like she was looking for another way out.  Her breathing started to speed up, and Laura could tell she was panicking.

Before Carmilla knew what was happening she heard the sound of groceries bags dropping to the floor and their contents scattering around them.  Arms were being wrapped tightly around her body, pinning her arms at her sides and a body was being pressed hard against hers. 

She took in a slow breathe while she tried to figure out what exactly was going on.  

“What- The hell?" She asked, raising an eyebrow and looking down at the blonde tightly wrapped around her.  

Laura's grip tightened, "I read once that when cattle are getting vaccinated or branded, in order to calm them down they are sent into a chute before hand that applies pressure to their body creating a calming effect.  Which now that I think about it, wouldn't that do the opposite? I mean here they are walking along and then, WHAM, they are being squished. Wouldn't that just freak them out more? Anyway, I just thought maybe... well, you were kind of... I wasn't sure what to do, but I wanted to help and that was the first thing that popped into my head so I thought I'd give it a try."

Finally taking a breath, Laura looked up at the dark haired girls face just inches from her own to try and read how she was feeling.

Carmilla was fighting back a smile. But Laura was still unsure as to what to do next.

"So... is it working? Did it help?" Laura broke eye contact and looked shyly at the ground, still gripping the girl tightly.  

"You know what? I do feel better." Carmilla smirked, willing her body to relax, "but I think the reason why has a lot less to do with cows, and more to do with my cute neighbor literally throwing herself at me.  Which, by the way, if you plan on branding me, just be gentle."

With that Laura's face turned bright red. She let go of Carmilla and stepped back as quickly as she could manage without stepping on her groceries.

"Right, sorry about that. I'm uh-- I'm Laura, by the way." She put her hand out to shake Carmilla's.

Carmilla, seeming disinterested, looking nervously around the elevator, "I know. Laura Hollis, apartment 307. We've met." then finally she looked directly at Laura, keeping her dark eyes locked on the blondes,

"More than once, I believe."


	2. Hollstein awkward history

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little history of Carmilla and Laura's run ins with each other before the blackout and the start of the elevator adventure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it switches between Laura's and Carmilla's perspectives.. sometimes the events overlapping at the same time. so just follow along the time frames given. Hopefully it makes sense.

**1 Month Before the power outage**

**12:40am--**

_New job, new apartment... things are looking up Hollis_.

Laura smiled to herself as she carried her last box into her new apartment building.  it was just past midnight and she had been unloading for what felt like hours. She knew she should probably take the box up and just go to bed but she was ready to start unpacking and getting her apartment put together. She had 2 days before she started at the newspaper. 

She still couldn't believe she had landed the job.  It helped that her friend Danny knew someone in the hiring department and put in a good word, but still, this was the opportunity of a lifetime.

She had already met a couple of her neighbors while moving boxes in and up the elevator to her new place.  Perry and LaFontaine, down on the first floor,  seemed really nice.  They helped her with a few boxes early on and invited her to have dinner earlier that night.

"We can't let you starve during all your unpacking! You'll need plenty of energy to get everything organized and cleaned up!" Perry had said, a little to happy about the thought of cleaning.

Even still, she was excited to have made new friends so quickly.  She wasn't so sure about being in LA, not really knowing anyone but Danny, and being so far from home. Far from her dad. 

She held the box tighter to her chest and made her way to the elevator, someone had just walked in and the doors were starting to close. "hold the doors!" she picked up her pace fumbling a little with the box in her arms, trying to make it in time.  

Someone had reached forward to prompt the doors to open again just before she got there,  

“Thanks! Oh." 

She was leaning again the wall inside the elevator looking directly at her. Casually leaning back against the wall, hands holding the railing that ran around the inside of the elevator. Probably the most beautiful girl Laura had ever seen.  Raven dark hair, porcelain like skin, incredible jaw line... all her facial features were incredible actually.  Her eyes were dark, and something about them made it hard to look away.   Her lips donned red lipstick, and were turned up into a smirk. 

But she wasn't alone.

There, standing in front of her, or more  _swaying_  in front of her, was a blonde.  Short skirt, skimpy top, hair a mess, and reeking of alcohol. She was grabbing the dark haired girl at the waist, pressed up against her and had her head buried into her neck, giggling.

 _Of course_.

\-----

**1 Month Before the power outage**

**12:40am** —

Carmilla made her way down the sidewalk with Elsie in tow.  That girl had had way too much to drink and could barely keep herself upright.  They almost tripped on the box holding the door open when they finally reached Carmilla's apartment building.  

Carmilla ushered Elsie through the door looking down at the box,  _Someone must be moving in across the hall finally. Hopefully they aren't as bad as that pre med chick, Betty, who got mad every time I played music.._

Elsie started to giggle and wobble a little more than she already had been as they entered the elevator.  Carmilla rolled her eyes and steadied her, "I don't know you well enough to put up with much more of this." she said as she leaned back against the elevator wall.

The doors started closing when she heard someone call to hold the elevator.  She rolled her eyes (something she did more often than was necessary) and leaned forward to open the doors for whoever was fast approaching.

The doors opened.. and there she was. 

Honey blonde hair, eyes that could light up a room. They were so beautiful, Carmilla couldn't look away.  And that smile... the sun couldn't compare--  to the smile that faded as soon as she looked at Elsie.

 _Elsie_.  Carmilla had completely forgotten about the blonde clinging onto her.

She kept eye contact with the girl standing outside the elevator, completely ignoring the blonde that was currently giggling into her ear.

"You in or out, cupcake?"

"Oh, uh, out? Or in. No, out is fine." she said a little flustered.

Camilla laughed, "suite yourself."

She grabbed Elsie's hands that had started to wander from her hips to other parts of her body and moved the girl so she was standing next to her, leaning against the elevator wall and placed the blondes hands on the railing in an attempt to make her hold herself up. The movement was met with a whine and a pout from the blonde. 

The doors began to close again, Laura still standing there watching the interaction.  Just before the doors shut completely, Carmilla looked back out at her and winked.

 

\-------

**3 weeks before the power outage**

**5:17pm—**

Laura had been in her new apartment for a week now but work had kept her so busy she hadn't had the chance to meet any of her neighbors. Aside from the ones she met the day she moved in.   Sitting in her office chair, kicking her feet off the desk causing her to spin at a rather quick pace she was trying to think of an easy way to introduce herself to her neighbors.

_Cookies.  Everyone loves cookies._

Only downside, Laura didn't bake.  So on her way home from the newspaper that evening she stopped at the grocery store and bought the most homemade looking chocolate chip cookies she could find.   _I'm a genius._  Smiling to herself she made her way home and split up the cookies onto paper plates and started making her way down the hall on her floor.  

She met Mrs. Jensen, she had to be in her 80's, living alone, except for the couple of cats that roamed around her apartment.  Laura really had only meant to stop by each apartment for a few minutes to introduce herself but Mrs. Jensen insisted she come in and share the cookies with her.  An hour later, she was able to make it down the rest of the hall. 

Stephanie, a woman in her 40's, single and clearly a workaholic, politely accepted the cookies and shut the door just as soon as names were exchanged.

Eric and Jamie, and their 2 kids.  There was so much screaming and running around Laura had completely forgotten their names as soon as they were said. She was too focused on not getting pelted in the head with crayons.

A couple doors went unanswered. 

 _More cookies for me, I guess_.

Mary, didn't even take the chain off the door when she answered it, said she was allergic to chocolate and shut the door.   _Nice girl_. Laura laughed to herself as she made her way to the next apartment. The last one, the one directly across from hers. She knocked and waited for a minute.  She could hear music coming from inside the apartment so she knocked again, a little louder this time.  The music stopped and she could hear someone approaching the door.  The door opened and she was met with a flirty smile from a well groomed, good looking guy.  He leaned up against the door frame and crossed his arms over his chest.  She could have sworn he was flexing, no doubt trying to impress her.  She held back the eye roll she so desperately wanted to give the perfect image of a frat boy that was currently looking her up and down.

"Hi! I'm Laura! Laura Hollis.  I just moved in. Across the hall actually, 307." she pointed over her shoulder to her door.  

The man just smiled, "Will."

"Its nice to meet you, Will.  I uh, brought cookies!  I was just going around introducing myself to the neighbors and you know, you're one of them so.. cookies?" she asked a little unsure and held out the plate. 

"Oh I don't live here." was all he said in return, not moving from the door frame, and making no movement to grab the plate of cookies.

Laura was about to reply when she noticed someone walking through the bedroom door behind Will.  It was _her_ again.  She was looking down, buttoning up her shirt as she walked towards the door. _Gosh she's beautiful_ , Laura thought, staring without realizing it.

"Who was it?" Carmilla asked without looking up.

"Its Laura. Laura Hollis, apartment 307, of course." Will replied in a mockingly playful voice.  Laura got the sense he wasn't making fun of her, but more trying to tease the girl putting her shirt on behind him.

"Who?" Carmilla looked up with a confused face, which broke out into a crooked smile when she saw the girl standing outside the door, still holding out the plate of cookies. "Riiight, elevator girl."

Will, who was watching Laura stare at his sister, looked behind him to find Carmilla looking just as intently at the blonde. He pushed himself off the door frame and stepped around Laura, "Have fun, kitty" he said in a sing song voice as he left the apartment and walked down the hall away from the two girls.

 _Geez. First the slutty blonde in the elevator and now this guy. Who is this girl?_    
"Um hi. I'm Laura."

"So I've heard" Carmilla gave a playful smirk as she stepped up to the door and reached out to grab a single cookie from the plate Laura was still holding out across the threshold. She bit into the cookie and raised her eyebrows at Laura like she was waiting for her to make the next move.  

Laura swallowed hard, watching the dark haired girl bite down into the cookie.  _Seriously, who is this girl?_  She slowly pulled the plate back closer to her, "Ok, well, ya." she paused, "I should, um, probably.." she pointed behind her in the direction of her apartment, giving Carmilla a questioning look.

"oh don't worry about me, I'm fine here" she tilted her head slightly and looked Laura up and down.

Laura could feel her cheeks starting to blush. She turned quickly and retreated into her apartment.  She shut the door behind her and leaned back, letting her head fall back against it.   _Was that? Was she just flirt_ \-- Laura shook her head and laughed to herself.  

"Nope. Not happening." She pushed herself off the door, walked back towards the kitchen to grab the left over cookies. The grabbed the package and walked over to the couch, letting herself fall back into the soft cushions.

_mmm, cookies._

 

 

\-------

**2 1/2 weeks before the power outage**

**2:45pm—**

Carmilla stood outside the door to her apartment building searching through her bag for her keys. "ugh!" she let out a groan frustratedly and dropped her arms to her sides.  "I give up." she sighed and sat down on the step in front of the door, dropping her bag next to her.  _Someone is bound to come out, or go in eventually. Right?_

She leaned back onto her hands, her arms behind her and tilted her head up towards the sun.  It was the perfect amount of warmth that day, which was rare for LA. It was usually just hot, or hotter.   _I guess even if everything else is going wrong today, at least the weather is nice._   She closed her eyes and took a deep breathe.  Just as she was starting to relax and forget about the chaos from earlier that day, the door behind her swung open. Someone was walking out and not noticing her, smacked her in the back of the head with their bag.

Carmilla shot forward on the step, reaching back to hold her head where it had been hit, she looked up and saw a very, very tall red head towering over her "can you not see where you're going from way up there, big red?!" she snapped at her, standing up and turning to face her.

The red head looked shocked at being yelled at but shock quickly turned to annoyance at the nick name she had just been given.

Just then Laura stepped through the door, "Oh my gosh, are you ok? We totally didn't even see you sitting there, did we Danny?"

Of course she was going to be sweet and take the blame for something she didn't even do.  Carmilla rolled her eyes, "Just tell clifford here to watch where she's walking"  She bent down to gather up her things, as mad as she was she wasn't going to pass up the open door.

Danny shook her head in unbelief at how rude Carmilla was being over an accident. She leaned over to Laura and whispered, "So, she's kind of intense"

Laura shot Danny a disapproving look and glanced over at Carmilla, who had heard the exchange. Carmilla looked between the two of them then grabbed the door and cleared her throat, "Sorry, I just forgot I have to be anywhere but here" and she walked inside, bumping into Danny's side in the process.

"Oh, that's to bad, no, come back" Danny mockingly called after her.

Laura nudged Danny's arm to get her attention, "hey, don't.." she frowned.

Danny, looking surprised and slightly embarrassed at Laura's reaction asked, "What? Why not?"

Laura shrugged, "She just- she looked like she'd had kind of a rough day, is all."

"Oh no, you are entirely too sweet" Danny laughed.

Laura rolled her eyes and grabbed Danny's arm and pulled her down the step, "yeah, yeah. come on, we have stuff to do, _big red_ " Laura laughed at the nickname, Danny just shot her a playful glare. 

As they turned to walk down the sidewalk Carmilla came out from behind the door to watch them. She had heard their conversation and was honestly surprised at how the blonde had handled it.  She stood there in the doorway watching the pair get further away when suddenly Laura turned her head and looked back directly at her.  Carmilla froze.  Then Laura smiled at her and Carmilla's stomach flipped.  She quickly turned and went back into the apartment building and sighed to herself. Earlier she had thought the sun was providing the perfect amount of warmth that day, she was wrong.   _That smile_ , she thought,  _the sun doesn't even compare_.

\------------------

**1 week before the power outage**

**11:00am—**

It had been a while since Laura had seen Carmilla. At least for an extended amount of time.  They seemed to have the exact opposite schedules.  As Laura was getting home from work, she would often pass Carmilla in the hall as she was heading out for the night.  How that girl always looked amazing, Laura couldn't figure out.  Sometimes she would be carrying her guitar, other times she'd simply walk by sipping on an energy drink or doing something on her phone.  She almost always smirked or gave a half smile, sometimes she nodded or raised an eyebrow in Laura's direction as they passed.  When they would cross paths at the elevator she would always step aside to let Laura enter or exit first, offering a sultry "Cutie" or "Creampuff" as she walked passed. But so far since the doorstep incident that was pretty much the extent of it. Laura hadn't seen her with any more late night visitors since that first night.  She had noticed Will coming and going a couple times though.  Which was disappointing. The dark haired girl was  _clearly_  not her type, but she was still nice to look at, and it would be even more fun to look at her if she didn't have a boyfriend, Laura thought to herself. more than once.

Laura grabbed her basket of laundry and walked down the hall to the room with the laundry machines.  She pushed the door open and noticed her neighbor, whom she had  _not_  just been thinking about, sitting atop a washing machine. One leg crossed over the other, leaning down on her elbow, book in hand, a serious and focused expression on her face.

Carmilla didn't look up when Laura entered the room, or even when she went to stand directly in front of her.   She was sitting on the only empty washing machine, and as awkward as it was, Laura really needed to do laundry.

Laura shyly cleared her throat, "um, sorry, do you mind if I use this.." she pointed to the washing machine and looked at Carmilla expectantly.  Carmilla didn't take her eyes away from her book but simply lifted her legs to sit cross legged on top of the machine, unblocking the door on the front of the washer. 

Laura looked around, a little unsure, then sighed loudly and opened the washer door with Carmilla hovering above her, clearly completely focused on her book.  She started to load her clothes and didn't notice Carmilla glance down at her, smiling at the bunched up face Laura was making.  Carmilla looked back to her book just as Laura was finishing loading her clothes.  

 _How am I supposed to start the washer with her sitting in front of the dials?_ Laura stood there, looking at Carmilla, her nose scrunched up and lips twisted to the side like she was trying to figure out the best way to tell this girl to get out of the way.  She opened her mouth to speak but before she could a dryer buzzed loudly behind her, causing her to jump.

Carmilla shut her book and casually hopped down off the washing machine, she stopped in front of Laura, standing way too close for two people who had never had a real conversation, "That bunched up little face you make when you're angry is hilarious, buttercup" Carmilla chuckled, tapped her on the nose with her finger and walked around Laura, unloaded the contents of the dryer into her basket and walked out.

Laura shook her head and rolled her eyes, she was about to turn back to her washing machine when she noticed a pair of red lacy underwear hanging over the edge of the dryer Carmilla had just taken her clothes from. She reached down and picked them up, holding them up in the air.

Suddenly Carmilla was standing in front of her. She reached up and slowly took the pair of underwear from Laura's hands and dropped them in her basket. She smiled for a second before winking and blowing Laura a kiss. Immediately she turned and sauntered away, adding a little extra sway in her hips this time.

Laura stood there with her jaw dropped and cheeks red.  She couldn't tell if she was angry, or impressed at how smooth this girl was.

She leaned into the washing machine, almost folding onto it, shaking her head and covering her face with her hands. _Worst. Crush. Ever._  

\--------

**Day of the power outage**

**4:40pm—**

"We've met" ... "More than once, I believe."

"Oh, right." Laura replied, feeling her cheeks warm. She quickly bent down to start gathering her groceries back into their bags.

Carmilla rolled her eyes, and leaned her guitar against the elevator wall and bent down to help her, but made it obvious she was clearly not happy about it.  After all the groceries were gathered, the girls stood back up, Carmilla grabbed her guitar and they both just stood there silently, looking at the elevator doors.  

A couple minutes passed, a few glances were exchanged, but the silence lingered.  Finally Laura sighed, "how long do you think till the power comes back on?"

"No clue. Last time took a couple hours." Carmilla said dryly and set her guitar back down "this is ridiculous." She pulled her phone out of her back pocket and unlocked the screen.  Laura could tell she was unhappy as she hit the call button and put the phone to her ear.  Carmilla looked at Laura out of the corner of her eye and shifted her body so her back was facing her, trying to gain whatever privacy was possible in the box they were stuck in together.

Laura tried to ignore what was happening, the other girl clearly wanted privacy, but it was hard not to hear.  At least, it was hard not to hear Carmilla's side of the phone call.

"Hello, mother." she sighed, her shoulders dropping, all the confidence Laura usually saw in her disappearing instantly, her voice sounding sad, defeated.  "I know, I'm sorry. The power went out in my building and I'm stu--" she stopped abruptly, then continued a moment later, "I'm trying to tell you, if you would just listen. I'm suck in an elevator with the power out." her shoulders dropped a little more, a feat Laura thought was impossible, "I didn't mean to... No i didn't do this on purpose." she scoffed, "you think I made the power go out in LA just so I didn't have to meet you for dinn--" she was cut off, again.  A moment later she sighed, pulled the phone away from her ear and looked at it. Then she glanced over her shoulder at Laura, who quickly looked away, slightly embarrassed to be caught paying attention to her.  Carmilla rolled her eyes and stood up straight, mentally willing what just happened to be forgotten, she wasn't going to let it get to her.

Picking up on the tension that was building in the small space she was sharing with the brunette, Laura set her grocery bags down carefully and pulled her own phone from her bag. She scrolled through her contacts till she found the one she wanted and hit the call button. 

"Hey Danny!" she said, sounding a little too cheerful for someone stuck in an elevator, "Hey no, I'm fine. I just wanted to give you a heads up that I'm stuck in an elevator" she laughed a little, which surprisingly, calmed Carmilla's anger from her own phone call a second ago.  _Who knew a laugh could do that?_

"No, no, there's no need to come over. There's literally nothing you could do.  We will just have to rain check on tonight, ok?" Laura glanced over at Carmilla, feeling the brunettes eyes on her, "I know, I'm sorry. And no, I'm not alone" she smiled genuinely at Carmilla, to which she responded by raising an eyebrow, "I have company."

At that Carmilla looked away and pretended to busy herself with her guitar as the blonde finished up her phone call.

They both stood there, holding onto their phones, like they weren't sure what the next step to being stuck in an elevator was. They both let out a sigh and glanced at each other, making eye contact.  Laura gave a small smile, and to her surprise, received one back from Carmilla.

Laura's smile grew a little wider.  _Maybe being stuck in an elevator isn't going to be that bad, after all._


	3. 20 Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A game of 20 questions starts.

**5:00pm—**

"We're going to die in here"  Carmilla was facing the wall, her body pressed up against it dramatically.  She twisted around and hunched over, putting her head in her hands for a moment before standing up straight and starting to unbutton her flannel shirt. 

Laura checked the time on her phone, "It's literally only been 20 minutes" She chuckled from the floor on the opposite side of the elevator. She had sat down next to her groceries a few minutes earlier. She looked up at the dark haired girl just as she was dropping her shirt down off her shoulders. 

"Woah, what are you doing?!"

Carmilla paused to look over at Laura, "Relax, cutie.  I'd just rather not die of heat stroke in here" she slipped her shirt the rest of the way off and casually tied it around her waist, leaving her in a tight black tank top.  She lifted her hands and started fanning her face with them. "Really, I don't know how much longer I can just sit in here."

The elevator was starting to get rather warm, and even though the brunette was complaining about it Laura couldn't help but notice that she still looked flawless.  This was the longest amount of time they had spent around each other and it gave Laura a chance to really admire the girls features.  She was naturally pretty.  Sure she had on some eyeliner, which was impeccable, and her lips had on that red lipstick she remembered her wearing the first night she saw her, but other than that there wasn't really any other make up present.  Her hair flowed down past her shoulders in soft waves, and it looked incredibly soft. And even though she was often smirking or looked completely disinterested, there was something about her eyes. They were dark, but intoxicating. When she looked at you it was like everything else disappeared and you were all that could be seen.  It was incredibly intimidating, and also, extremely seductive.

Laura shook her head slightly when she realized she had been staring "we could play a game! To get your mind off being hot.” Hey eyes went wide, realizing what she said sounded like, “I mean, how hot you are." _not any better Hollis_ , "Uh, in here.  In This elevator."  
_Smooth Laura, nice save. Not._

Carmilla let out a small laugh and eyed the girl still sitting on the ground. She slowly took a step closer to her, her voice dropping lower, more sultry, "oh yeah?" She lifted an eyebrow, "what kind of game would you like to play?" She playfully tapped her foot against the bottom of Laura's.

Laura's stomach flipped.   _This girl is trouble_.

"How about a get to know you game? Like, 20 questions! I mean we've lived across the hall from each other for a month now and I don't--" Laura paused and a puzzled look came across her face, "you've never actually told me your name."

"Not exactly the kind of game I had in mind but I guess I have nothing else to do" Carmilla sighed and lowered herself down to the floor opposite Laura.  She stretched out her legs, her feet stopping next to Laura's, and crossed her ankles.  "Alright, I'll start. I am curious about something" she said mischievously.

Laura swallowed hard and giggled nervously, "ok, shoot."   
_What had she gotten herself into?_  

“Alright, first question" Carmilla paused to examine the girl sitting opposite her, "why on earth did read an article about cow branding?" She asked with a straight face.  

Laura let out a big laugh, relieved at the simple question.  

Carmilla fought the urge to smile. T _hat laugh is magic_.

Laura sat up straight, her legs were crossed and she placed her hands on her knees. "Well I'm a journalist, so I read a lot of random articles. Kind of keeps me in the loop but also gives me the chance to learn from other people's work. Different writing styles and stuff" she smiled brightly. Laura loved her job, that was obvious anytime she talked about it.

Carmilla's eyes narrowed, "hmm. Writing styles.  From an article about cow branding. Alright cutie, if you say so." 

Laura laughed "it's true! Sometimes you learn the most from the more lame articles.  I mean cow branding seems pretty boring, but the article was good enough I actually remembered something from it!" She studied the brunette but she didn't seem convinced.  "Alright my turn." She leaned forward a bit, "so, do you have a name?"

Carmilla smiled smugly at the question. "Why yes, I do have a name." She leaned back, proud of herself for the clever and smart ass answer, "my turn again."

"Wait! No! You didn't tell me your name!" Laura exclaimed, throwing her hands out in front of her.

"That wasn't the question, Lois Lane. You asked if I had a name, not what it was.  And I answered.  Rules are rules, sweetheart. You would think as a journalist you'd be better at this interview thing." Her smirk grew wider. 

"Ugh, fine" Laura shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest but Carmilla could tell she wasn't really as frustrated as she was pretending to be. "What's your next question?"

This went on for a while, mostly basic questions.  Laura finally learned Carmilla’s name. Her favorite color was, surprisingly, yellow. She had moved to LA after living in New York for a few years. She had gone to college but didn't really like it. She loved learning but not the structure.  Apparently she had issues with authority figures. 

Carmilla found out that Laura grew up in the country but moved to LA to get to work at a real newspaper. She had a horse as a kid named ‘bubbles' and a dog named ‘stitches’. Her favorite food was cookies, she had broken 4 different bones and had received stitches many, many times. 

_This girl is as clumsy as she is adorable._   "Any siblings?" Carmilla asked while shifting her position on the floor.  It was starting to get uncomfortable. 

"Nope, just me." Laura responded a little less chipper, "I think it would have been nice to have a brother or sister though."

"Trust me, you got off easy" Carmilla replied playfully, noticing Laura's mood shift.  

"You have siblings, then?"

"A younger brother. He's a pain in the ass" Carmilla said with an extremely serious expression on her face. 

Laura laughed at her answer but could tell despite what she was saying she had to love her brother. It was written all over her face.  "Are you close?"

Carmilla's lips curved into a small smile "more so now than we used to be.”

Laura just looked at her waiting for her to share more.  

She wasn't used to this. _Sharing_.  She didn't know why she had told the blonde everything she had already. But I guess there was no point in stopping now. "Growing up we were like normal siblings. We fought constantly but still loved each other. Then I went off to college and New York. And, we grew apart." She sighed and her smile dropped, Laura still watching her intently, "some stuff happened, nothing worth going into detail about, but I ended up leaving New York and since being home we've gotten close again."

Laura just nodded, watching the brunette.  Her eyes gave her away.  They showed nothing but love when she called her brother a pain in the ass, and yet talking about their journey as siblings her eyes conveyed sadness and regret.  She couldn't help but wonder what had happened to bring her home from New York.  It was the reporter in her. Or it could be the ridiculous crush she was fighting.  Maybe a bit of both. 

Carmilla started to feel uneasy with the blonde looking at her a little too thoughtful.  She pulled her legs in towards her, shifting to sit cross legged leaning slightly forward, "so with no siblings, are you close with your parents?"   
_Really Carmilla? Bringing up parents is not the smartest move here._  She rolled her eyes internally at herself. 

"Oh, um, ya actually" Laura smiled wide, "me and my dad are super close. It was pretty hard leaving him at first. I mean when I went to college it was only a 20 minute drive from home so it wasn't that bad but now he's like, hours away. But I taught him how to Skype before I left, so that's been an adventure." She let out a laugh. 

_Magic_. Carmilla let herself smile at the sound. 

"And your mom?" Carmilla asked, leaning back against the wall. 

Laura's gaze dropped to her hands sitting in her lap. 

_Shit._  Carmilla knew that look and immediately regretted asking.     
"You don't have to answer. It wasn't my turn to ask a question anyway." she said as casually as she could to try to take the pressure off Laura and not make her feel bad. 

Keeping her eyes on her hands Laura shook her head a little "no,it's ok." She looked up and locked eyes with Carmilla.  

Carmilla could see the sadness in them before she girl even started speaking and it broke her heart. 

"She passed away when I was starting high school." 

Carmilla wasn't sure how to proceed, she didn't even realize she was holding her breath. 

Laura sensed her hesitation and continued "she had cancer, for a while. The last few years were pretty hard to watch. She wasn't really herself in the end. So it was probably good that she went. Living that way is no way to live, ya know?"

Carmilla nodded. She knew there was nothing she could say that would change the hurt and sadness that Laura felt.  But she did know sometimes it helped to know someone truly understood.  She hesitated for a second before quietly replying, "I lost my dad. When I was in high school, too.”  

Laura's eyes met hers, a sad smile forming.    
Tragic. To have something like this in common. Yet comforting to be reminded they weren't alone in their sadness.  You could tell the energy in the elevator shifted immediately.  Neither girl had been this open with someone else in quite some time.  It was terrifying for them both. But they also shared the feeling of a weight being lifted off their shoulders.  Confiding in one another felt good. They were connecting in a way neither had expected. 

Laura let out a big sigh and shrugged her shoulders, "alright well, shall we change the subject?" She laughed quietly, "I didn't mean to be a downer"

Carmilla just looked at the blonde, like she was studying her, looking for something.    
"It's your turn to ask a question, cutie. The subject choice is in your hands."

Laura's face broke out into a huge smile.

_Oh boy, this girl is trouble_. Carmilla smiled and shook her head.   
  


\------  
  


**6:00pm—**

20 questions had turned into way more than 20 questions. 

"You've got to be kidding me" Carmilla raised an eyebrow, looking over at the blonde still sitting across the elevator from her. 

"Nope. Dead serious. After the neighbor caught us we tried to jump the fence to run away and my pants got caught and ripped completely off.  I had to run a mile in my underwear to get home!” The blonde covered her face with her hands, shaking her head and laughing to herself.     
"The worst part was the neighbor had called my dad! So he was waiting on the porch when I ran up in my underwear. Most embarrassing moment of my life."  She blushed slightly and looked up shyly towards the brunette. 

Carmilla was fighting a smile and a laugh at the image of Laura sprinting in her underwear only to run into her dad.  When Laura made eye contact with her she couldn't hold it in anymore and broke out into a loud laugh. Her shoulders shook and her body doubled over into the laugh.

Laura was quite possibly the most adorable person she had ever seen. Something about her made Carmilla want to smile. Something she hadn't felt in quite some time. She was like a blonde ball of happiness, like the world hadn't ruined her, or broken her spirit, despite what she had already been through in her life. _She was amazing_. And Carmilla couldn't fight the feelings growing with every minute she spent with her.  She was starting to like this girl.

They both sat there laughing, walls down, unexpectedly enjoying each others company despite the shitty situation they were in. There had been some subtle and not so subtle flirting, a few more serious moments, and a good amount of laughing.  Laura often laughing more freely than the brunette. 

Another round of questions was about to start when Carmilla’s stomach rumbled, rather loudly, reminding her she hadn't eaten since she was meant to have dinner with her mom, an hour ago. 

"Oh my gosh, you must be starving!" Laura looked wide eyed at the girl across from her. 

Carmilla rubbed her stomach slightly embarrassed. "I'm fine. I'm sure we will be out of here soon enough."

Laura shifted to her knees and grabbed her grocery sacks that were sitting next to her, scooped them into her arms against her chest and started scooting across the elevator to sit next to Carmilla. 

"Come on, I know you had to cancel your dinner plans" she quickly remembered that was probably a phone call Carmilla didn't want her to hear and looked up at her sheepishly. Carmilla just directed her eyes to her hands sitting in her lap.  Laura sat cross legged next to Carmilla, leaned back against the wall and started to reach into the bags. "I mean it's no 5 star meal, mostly cookies and snack cakes but it's still food." She smiled at the girl next to her. 

Carmilla chuckled, "I guess that depends on what you define as food, sweetheart."

Laura opened her mouth to reply, then her expression changed. Scrunching her face up like she was disgusted, she looked down as she pulled her hand out of the grocery bag, her fingers covered in melted m&ms.  "I guess I should have remembered they were melty before we even got stuck in this giant hot box." 

She started to pout and look around to find something to wipe her hand off with when she felt Carmilla’s fingers gently wrap around her wrist.  She didn't think about it at first, still looking for something to get rid of the melted chocolate, then she felt what could only be lips, _Carmilla's lips_.

Carmilla had reached over to grab Laura's wrist and brought her fingers to her mouth. She stuck the chocolate covered fingers in her mouth and gently sucked the chocolate from them. Laura whipped her head over to look at the brunette just as the tip of her fingers were leaving her lips. Laura's mouth dropped wide, her cheeks immediately heating up and her eyes locked on Carmilla's lips.  

"Mmmmm" Carmilla let go of Laura's wrist and saw the blonde staring. Not to miss an opportunity, she slowly licked her lips and smiled. Laura's mouth still agape, and cheeks flush, looked up to meet Carmilla's stare. 

_What just happened?!_

Carmilla gave the blonde a wink before leaning forward to grab a grocery bag. "Have anything with peanut butter in here?"


	4. Sugar High and birthday wishes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura and Carmilla get a little "closer" and its someones birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments and stuff- I wasn't sure anyone would enjoy this as much as I do ha! I'm open to any feedback/suggestions..

**6:15pm**

Laura shifted a little, moving her legs out in front of her. She reached up with her arms above her head, her shirt riding up a little exposing a small part of her stomach that Carmilla was all too aware of. She stretched for a couple seconds, before putting her hands flat on the floor beside her.  She didn't realize how close she was sitting to Carmilla (Carmilla was _completely_ aware of their proximity to one another) until her hand came down on top of the brunettes. Laura stiffened but didn't move her hand away, waiting to see what the girl sitting next to her would do.  

Carmilla raised an eyebrow at the touch but didn't pull away. After a second she glanced down at their hands and slowly moved her thumb out from under Laura’s hand. Just enough that she could slowly brush it across the top of Laura's fingers. She could see the blonde take in a breathe out of the corner of her eye. She smiled before lifting her eyes to meet Laura's. She could see the nervousness on her face, her eyes bright, a nervous smile starting to show. 

 _That smile._  

That's all it took. Carmilla shifted her body to face Laura's more and reached up her free hand to cup her face. She brushed her thumb across her cheek, causing Laura to close her eyes and lean into the touch. Carmilla knew what she wanted. Her heart slamming against her chest made it pretty obvious. But did Laura want it too?

Without wasting time, Carmilla leaned forward, connecting their lips. It was gentle, patient, slow. The kiss lingered, neither girl moving for a moment.  Carmilla felt her own lips twist up into a smile as she slowly broke the kiss. Barely separating from Laura, her eyes still closed, she exhaled slowly. 

 _Did she really just do that?_  
_Now what?_

Before she could move, or even open her eyes for that matter, Laura reached up and grabbed Carmilla's tank top, twisting her fist into the fabric she pulled her back in for another kiss. This time exactly the opposite of the first. Lust filled, needy, passionate and full of force.  

Carmilla moved her free hand and slid it behind Laura's head, tangling her fingers in her hair, holding her tightly to her. 

Laura had surprised herself with her action of grabbing Carmilla for a second kiss but she wasn't disappointed at what came of it. She could feel the rise and fall of her chest quicken as Carmilla pulled her closer, deepening the kiss. This was so out of character for her, she barely knew this girl, they were stuck in an elevator... But it felt right.   
_It felt good._  

Laura could feel the tightness in her stomach grow as Carmilla’s hands tangled through her hair.  Carmilla broke the kiss again and looked pointedly at Laura.  Both girls out of breathe, eyes full of lust. Carmilla smiled, Laura inhaled sharply. 

 _Shit. This girl is gorgeous_. 

Carmilla lifted herself up and shifted her body quickly, throwing one leg over Laura's, their bodies facing each other. Carmilla moved so her legs were on either side of Laura's, sitting in her lap, their hips meeting as carmilla straddled her.  She looked down at Laura's lips and bit her own, a shyness washing over her face. 

Laura felt a tug in her stomach.   
_How can this girl be so insanely hot and make me so… You know... But be shy and gentle and beautiful all at the same time?_

Carmilla just stared at her, almost like she was seeing something that no one else had been able too. Laura licked her lips, closed her eyes and leaned up to kiss her.  Carmilla melted into her, their bodies pressing against each other. It started out slow but Carmilla is literally on top of Laura so slow isn't going to last.  Laura's hands reach around and press against Carmilla's back, trying desperately to pull them closer together. Like she needs her, wants her, craves her. 

Laura moves her lips to Carmilla's jaw, trailing kisses down to the base of her neck eliciting a soft moan from her. Carmilla leans her head back giving Laura more access to her neck, which Laura takes full advantage of as she sucks on the hollow of her collarbone.  Carmilla's breathe hitches and she lets out another low moan as Laura continues to suck along her skin. Laura moves up, placing her hands in the brunettes hair and pulling her in for a deep kiss.  

Carmilla's hands move along Laura's body. Gripping Laura's waist tightly at first, then finding the hem of her shirt she slips her hands under the cloth, lightly scratching up and down Laura's side.  

“mm, Carm” Laura can't help the shudder that flows through her body at the touch, making everything heat up.  She grabs Carmilla's waist and holds her tight as she shifts her body so they are both kneeling, chests pressed against each other, hands exploring, kisses getting more passionate, full of want.  

Carmilla takes advantage of their positioning and grabs Laura's shirt, breaking their kiss just long enough to pull it up over her head. Laura nervously fumbles with the fabric of Carmilla's tank top, unable to get a grip on it.  Carmilla chuckles and softly cups Laura's cheeks, kissing her gently.

Laura's face shifts into a pout and she drops her hands to her sides "I'm so not smooth" she whispers between soft kisses from Carmilla. 

Carmilla smiles in a way that makes Laura's heart flutter, "let me help" she says in the low, sultry voice Laura loves.  She grabs the hem of her shirt and lifts it up over her own head and throws it to the side. She looks back at Laura who is trailing her eyes up and down Carmilla's body. 

A smug smile breaks onto Carmilla's face, "doing ok, cupcake?"  
Laura didn't know her cheeks could get warmer than they already were. 

Carmilla pushes herself forward, meeting Laura's lips once again, their bodies coming together, the feel of skin on skin exciting them both. 

Laura's arms wrapped around Carmilla's neck as they kiss. Carmilla slowly shifts their bodies so she can lay Laura down on her back- not an easy feat in an elevator- her body hovering just above Laura’s. Her hair is disheveled, lips swollen from kissing, chest rising and falling quickly from being out of breath. 

Laura has never seen anyone so beautiful. 

Carmilla lowered her body to rest on Laura's, pressure falling in all the right places. Laura could feel her heart beating fast against her chest.  Carmilla started placing soft kisses down her jaw, running her teeth along Laura's neck, replacing teeth with her tongue and lightly sucking above Laura's collar bone. She starts to slowly rock her hips against the body below her. Laura takes in a ragged breathe, her eyes shut tight, her hands scratching lightly up and down Carmilla's back.  Carmilla starts to slowly shift lower down the blondes body.  Her hands trace patterns along Laura's stomach and ribs, she places a kiss just above her breast, then the center of her chest. She continues to kiss down her stomach to her waist line, her hands exploring her body, trailing down from her chest, to slowly scratch down her ribs and stomach. When she reaches the blondes pants line she looks up, wanting to see Laura's face but all she can see is Laura's chest moving rapidly, an arm thrown over her face, while biting her bottom lip. 

Carmilla moves her body up reaching her hands to find Laura's arms, letting her fingers drag the length of them until they find her fingers.  She intertwines their fingers and lifts her hands above Laura's head. She watches the blonde, she still has her eyes closed, and rocks her hips to meet Laura's.  

Laura's eyes shoot open at the feeling of friction “fuck, carm”, she takes in a sharp breathe before she leans up to catch the brunettes lips in her own.  Moving their hips in a quicker rhythm a moan escapes Laura's throat as the friction hits just right. Carmilla's smiling into the kiss as she frees one of her hands and trails it down Laura's body, stopping at the waist of her jeans. She slides her fingers under the waist line and brushes them across her stomach, causing Laura to tremble. Laura moans again and her hips start to pick up pace.  Carmilla undoes the button and slides her hand slowly lower, moving under the band of her underwear. 

Carmilla places a few soft kisses along Laura's jaw line, “is this ok?” she asks, not wanting to do anything the blonde isn't ready for.  
Receiving a quick nod from Laura, she leans back down to kiss her deeply.

Laura can't believe how turned on she is and she can't believe how slowly Carmilla is deciding to go.  She lets out a moan as Carmilla's hand dips lower, almost where she wants it... Laura's hands grip tightly on the hand still holding hers in place over her head. 

Their hips move together in a steady rhythm, picking up pace. Both girls feeling overwhelmed with want. The heavy breathing and moans only serve to heighten the way they are feeling.   Carmilla breaks away from Laura's lips to kiss her jaw, her neck, just below the ear. She bites Laura's ear lobe gently, her hand dipping lower below her underwear slowly. Laura feels an overwhelming rush of pleasure as Carmilla's hand moves lower and she hears Carmilla whisper softly in her ear, "do you want the last peanut butter cup?"

“mmm yes, carm” she breathes out.

_Wait. What?_

Laura's eyes shoot open, she’s sitting next to Carmilla, who's holding out a peanut butter cup with one hand, licking her fingers on the other. 

_What the hell Hollis?!_

Carmilla looks over at Laura with a curious look, "you ok, buttercup?"

Laura swallows hard, becoming fully aware that she had been day dreaming. But that doesn't change the fact that she was and _is_ incredibly turned on. And apparently it's the brunette sitting next to her that does it for her.    
"Uh, yeah, I'm great!" Her response is a little too quick and forced "it's just hot in here. I mean, isn't it? Aren't you hot?"  Her voice going an octave higher and quicker.  She's apparently lost the ability to keep her cool. 

Carmilla just raises and eyebrow to study her for a moment before turning back to the pile of wrappers and treats.   
"Uh huh. Well, I'm afraid that's all the sugar I can handle right now." Carmilla turns to an already flustered Laura, "looks like I'll have to wait and have seconds on dessert later, cupcake" she drawls suggestively.

Laura lets out a nervous laugh, “ha! uh, are you hitting on me?”

Carmilla shrugs and grabs a warm can of grape soda and snaps the top open, "eh, not my best line, I'll admit" she says dryly before taking a sip, "must be the heat. I guess it's getting to us both" she smiles knowingly and takes another sip. 

 _There's no way she could know what I was daydreaming about. Right?_  

Just then Laura's phone starts to blast some song turned into a ringtone, causing her to jump, nearly knocking into Carmilla.   
She quickly lunges for her bag and riffles through her things until she finds her phone. She flips it open and puts it to her ear "HELLO?!"  Her voice still an octave higher than normal and clearly flustered. 

She realizes how much of a spaz she must look like and shuts her eyes tightly and shakes her head, willing herself to calm down. She can hear Carmilla chuckling behind her. 

"Oh hi, Laura! It's Perry! I just wanted to check on you! Lafontaine said you were home this weekend and I just wanted to make sure you were ok with the power outage and everything."

Laura sighed, Perry really was like the house mother of the complex, "that's so sweet of you, Perry.  I um, I'm actually stuck in the elevator-"

"Oh my goodness! Give me just one second, we need to get you out of there right away! I'm so sorry!"

"Oh no, it's ok. I'm actually alright, carm’s in here too and she's actually pretty good company" just then she realizes Carmilla can hear her and turns around to give her a shy smile.  She pulls the phone from her ear and covers the mouth piece whispering to Carmilla, "it's Perry. The apartment manager"

Carmilla took another sip of her soda and dryly replies "I gathered". 

Laura rolled her eyes, this girl goes from flirty to disinterested so quick it's giving her whiplash.

Perry’s back after a minute, "I'm so sorry Laura but it looks like the fire department is saying unless it's an emergency you are going to have to just wait it out. There are other things they have to attend to first. Can you hold out?" Her voice is full of concern and Laura can picture her pacing and throwing her arms about dramatically as she talks.    
The speed at which she can talk is astounding. And that's saying something coming from Laura because Laura can ramble with the best of them. 

"That's ok Perry, don't worry. We will be just fine!" She reassures her, trying to sound cheerful so the fiery red head on the other end of the phone doesn't panic.   
After a little more convincing that they really were ok in the elevator, plenty warm, but ok, she ended the phone call and tucked her phone back into her bag. 

She sat back down leaning against the wall, placing her hands in her lap, fiddling with her fingers nervously.  "So... Ready for more questions?"

Carmilla sighed and passed Laura the soda can, "you've learned more about me in the last two hours than I think anyone has in the last 5 years" As soon as she says it she regrets it.   _What is it about this girl that makes her want to be so honest? She doesn't need to know that. What's she going to think? That she's a loser with no friends or anyone in her life.  Wait, why does she even care what she thinks?_

Laura takes a sip of the soda and sets it down, pulling her knees up and towards her body, she wraps her arms around them and rests her chin on one of her knees, "come on, I have a good one" she beams excitedly. 

Carmilla rolls her eyes and slouches back against the wall, she's curious but wants to seem indifferent. She waves her hand in front of her as if to invite Laura to continue. 

The blonde sits up tall her smile widening, "Carm.." She pauses dramatically, her smile growing even wider, "do you play any instruments?"

There it was again. _Carm_. She usually hated that nickname but coming from Laura, it wasn't so bad. 

"Seriously cupcake?" Her eyebrows pushed together in a look of disbelief. She gestures with her hand in the direction of her guitar case, "I don't just like the look of it." She says sarcastically.  

"For all I know you just carry it around as a way to pick up on guys." She had originally been thinking about Will.  The somewhat mystery guy she had met and seen multiple times leaving Carmilla's apartment. Then she quickly remembered the blonde in the elevator, "or girls?" Her face changing to an expression of confusion and thoughtfulness.

Carmilla let out a big laugh, "you're joking right?"

She was met with a blank stare and a shrug from Laura. 

"Alright, first— I _can_ actually play the guitar" she reaches over and unlatches the case and gently lifts the instrument out, placing it across her lap. “Second— my good looks and charm alone are plenty for me to pick up _girls_." She strums the guitar and sends a wink in Laura's direction. 

Laura's cheeks blush, "ok, first" she mimics Carmilla playfully, "prove it. And second, I've seen your house guests coming and going so there's no need to lie about it." She raises an eyebrow at her, "that guy Will... Elevator girl..."

Carmilla just chuckles and shakes her head, "you've got it all wrong, cutie.”

“uh huh, sure I do” Laura leans back and crosses her arms over her chest. _Cant fool me, miss snark_.

Carmilla strums her guitar again, a thoughtful look on her face,"alright, I have a song I'll play for you but it's a really special one." She looks over at Laura who looks surprised and also delighted at the idea of a performance. "It's one my dad used to sing to me once a year. And that's it. Never more than that because it's so special."  Another glance at the blonde who looks even more captivated than before. 

Carmilla's facial expression changes to one of seriousness and she adjusts the guitar in her hands, she slowly starts strumming out a tune. Her eyes shut and she seems like she's putting every emotion she has into this song. 

Laura watches her intently, she can't believe she's playing for her that easily, with no begging or bribery.  And a song so special to her--- _wait._  
"Carm. This is the happy birthday song."  Her body slouches, the excitement obviously deflating and she rolls her eyes at Carmilla.  

Carmilla lets out a laugh and smiles over at Laura, "once a year. No matter how many times I begged. I only got it once a year.”

Laura laughed at the unexpected but extremely attractive playfulness she was getting from Carmilla, she picked up an empty soda can and tossed it across the elevator at her, shaking her head, “you’re ridiculous.”

“there are worse things to be.” she gives the blonde a crooked smile.

“Of all the songs you could have chosen to play, why pick the happy birthday song?” Laura asked, genuinely curious.

“it’s the first song that came to mind.” she shrugged and set her guitar back into its case, “it _is_ my birthday after all.”

“What? no! today?”

“Todays the day. Happens every year, cutie. no big deal”

“well what are you doing to celebrate?” Laura's eyes are still wide from the revelation of today being Carmilla's birthday.

“nothing?” carmilla shrugs. Now that she is thinking about it, she cant remember the last time she actually celebrated her birthday.

“What?! you cant do nothing for your birthday!” Laura threw her arms up like it was the biggest deal in the world not to have plans on her birthday.

“Well I was going to have dinner, but that didn't work out. Actually..” Carmilla tilted her head thoughtfully, “thats probably turning out to be the best gift I’ve ever gotten” she laughed humorlessly to herself.

Laura reached over to the grocery bags sitting in front of them, “close your eyes” she started searching through the bag for something.

“You want me to close my eyes? You do realize we are stuck in an elevator with very dim lighting to begin with, right?” carmilla asked, clearly not amused with the blondes request.

“Oh shut up, just do it!” Laura shot her a look, much more serious than Carmilla was used to seeing. She decided to play along and shut her eyes.

Carmilla could hear grocery bags rustling and wrappers ripping open but she couldn't think of what Laura could be doing. Its not like they had an endless selection of birthday celebration supplies in the elevator with them.

“ok, open!” Laura said, clearly pleased with herself.

Carmilla slowly opened her eyes to see Laura sitting excitedly in front of her with both her hands stretched out in front of her. In her hands she held a snack cake with a licorice rope shoved into the center of it.

“I didn't have a candle so I had to improvise” she smiled wide, “Happy Birthday, Carm.” she said quietly.

Carmilla was blown away. Her own mother hadn't wished her a happy birthday and yet this girl that she literally had spent less than a few hours with in her entire life cared enough to somehow create a birthday cake for her while being trapped in an elevator.

“Laura..” Carmilla breathed out quietly, shifting her eyes from the snack cake up to make eye contact with Laura. “I don’t-- you didn't...” She trailed off, unsure of what to say. Her voice was quiet, almost bashful.

“I know its not a real candle but you should just pretend” Laura shrugged, her smile getting wider, “so close your eyes and make a wish!”

Carmilla chuckled softly, “you know these wishes never really come true, right cupcake?”

“You never know, just do it grumpy pants” Laura shot back at her, moving closer so carmilla could ‘blow out her candle’.

Carmilla hesitantly closed her eyes and took a deep breathe, thinking of a birthday wish. When she finally thought of one she leaned forward and ‘blew out the candle’. She was trying to be a good sport, no matter how ridiculous it felt.

Laura watched as Carmilla actually took a second to think of a wish before leaning forward and blowing on the licorice. A small smile crept onto Carmilla's face and Laura couldn't help herself. With Carmilla leaning forward, eyes still closed, Laura leaned forward to close the gap between them and placed a soft kiss on Carmilla's cheek.

Carmilla felt Laura's lips on her cheek. They were as soft as she had imagined they would be.  
  _I guess some wishes do come true, after all._

  
  ——

**6:30pm**

“So you and the ginger giant, huh?” Carmilla slid her body further down the wall, almost laying flat on the ground just her shoulders and head still touching the wall. She was done with this elevator.

“You mean Danny?” Laura scrunched up her face in annoyance correcting the brunette.

Carmilla rolled her eyes, “Sure, Daaaannnnny” she drawled out slowly, almost like it hurt her to say it.

Laura laughed at Carmilla’s obvious dislike for the girl. “Be nice, she’s my friend”

“Friend?” her eyebrow raised inquisitively.

Laura’s face looked more thoughtful at the idea of clarifying what exactly her and Danny were. “well yeah, I mean we knew each other in college. We sort of.. but never really… I guess we almost.. but didn’t. I don't really know about back then to tell you the truth.” she shrugged and looked at Carmilla, “but now we are friends.” she smiles before adding “just friends.”

 _Gosh, could you be more obvious Hollis?_ “What about you?”

“I don’t think me and Xena are _ever_ going to be almost, maybe, sort of but not really, with each other.” Carmilla replied sarcastically.

This comment earned a hearty laugh from Laura, her body folding forward and shoulders shaking with every laugh, “har har” she smiled and reached her foot out to tap Carmilla's as it stretched across the elevator, “I mean you, and relationships.”

Carmilla playfully tapped her foot back against the blondes and shrugged, “I don’t do relationships.” she said matter of factly.

“Clearly” Laura muttered under her breathe. Her eyes went wide as she realized she had said that out loud. “I uh, didn't mean it like that!” she quickly tried to save herself but immediately knew it was too late.

Carmilla's eyes widened at the judgmental remark coming from the blonde. Not what she had expected to come from her, at all. She quickly narrowed here eyes to hide the hurt she was feeling.

She looked pointedly at Laura, “you think you know me, Laura.” Carmilla slowly sat herself up, her posture stiff. She knew she shouldn't have opened up to this girl, what was she thinking?  
“But you really don’t.” Her voice sounded distant and hard, nothing like it had before.

Laura’s posture deflated. She knew Carmilla was right, she _didn't_ know her. Not really anyway. Had she ruined her chance to make that happen with one stupid comment? It was clear Carmilla's guard was back up. The flirting, the soft looks, the small glimpses into who this girl was… suddenly gone.


	5. Indoor Star Gazing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls try to entertain themselves while still stuck in the elevator. We get a little bit more about Carmillas history and her parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading! I love getting all the comments and stuff :)  
> I think this ones a little longer, maybe.
> 
> anyway, enjoy.
> 
> tumblr: yoitsmeecass (in case you want to come say hey)

**7:00pm——**

The elevator had been silent for at least 20 minutes. Carmilla's posture still stiff as she internally went over the entire night. She thought Laura was different.  
_She **is** different. _

Laura fidgeted with her fingers, hands sitting in her lap. She still couldn't believe she had made that comment. It was so unlike her, why would she even say it?  
_Oh my gosh. Am I jealous?!_

Carmilla sighed, her shoulders dropping a little at the realization that she hadn't actually given Laura a reason to think any better of her. She had shamelessly been flirting with her from the moment they met and she hadn't exactly given her an explanation for the things that were causing her to make assumptions. _Shit. The only way out of this is to tell her._ She looks up to see the worried expression on Laura’s face. She's picking at her nails, her eyes glued to her hands.   _This girl is going to ruin me._

“There was a girl, Elle. In New York” Carmilla started quietly, finally breaking the silence. Laura’s eyes shot up to the brunettes in front of her, pleading for forgiveness and giving her complete attention at the same time.

“We met and became fast friends. Then more. We were inseparable. I fell in love with her and I thought she had with me. We lived together for a while, and everything seemed perfect.” Carmilla’s voice was soft again, but full of sadness. Her hands played nervously with the hem of her tank top, her eyes focused on her feet, not able to look up at Laura. “When I told her I was leaving New York— I asked her to come with me, but she ended things. Rather harshly. It turned out I didn't really know her as well as I thought. And I wasn't the person she wanted me to be.” Carmilla took a deep breathe before lifting her eyes to look at Laura. She forced a small smile at the serious face across from her, “After something like that, sometimes a girl needs a minute to give her heart a break.”

Laura didn't respond. What could she even say? She knew there was more to the story but didn't want to push it, so she just nodded softly and watched as the brunette got lost in her own thoughts.  
_She’s beautiful even when she’s sad._

———

**7:20pm**

“Alright. My ass is asleep"

Laura couldn't help but laugh at the blunt comment and the frustrated girl it came from. 

"It's not funny. We've been in here forever" Carmilla let her head fall forward in defeat. 

"Oh come on, it hasn't been _that_  bad, has it?" Laura shyly asked.  She had actually been enjoying talking with her neighbor. Besides the constant whiplash of emotions coming from the other girl and the few poorly handled conversation topics, it hadn't been an awful night like she half expected when they first got stuck. Even though she was missing out on her Netflix night with Danny.

Carmilla lifted her head just enough to look at Laura through her bangs.  "I'm not talking about the company, cutie. I'm talking about my body slowly dying from sugar overload and nothing but hard surfaces." She lifted her head and corrected her posture to sit up straight, and spoke in the most proper accent she could manage waving her hand in front of her, "I happen to be a gentle woman. I desire extreme luxuries, such as cushions.  And air conditioning."

Laura let out a laugh and scrunched her face at Carmilla, "well my lady, if there's anything I can do to make you more comfortable, please do ask and I shall do my best to accommodate" she bent forward in a mock bow. She was glad to have the pleasant version of Carmilla back after she had stuck her foot in her mouth earlier.

Carmilla let out a breathy laugh and leaned over and rolled onto her side. "Actually, maybe if I just..." She started to roll on her side across the floor towards Laura.

Laura's eyes grew wider as Carmilla rolled closer to her- _what is she doing?_    
Laura's legs were stretched out in front of her, and Carmilla continued to roll until her head landed on Laura's thigh.  

"Ah, much better" Carmilla breathed out as she shut her eyes and made herself comfortable on Laura's lap. 

Laura had lifted her arms out of the way when Carmilla rolled on top of her and now that the girl had decided she was staying in her lap, Laura didn't know what to do with her hands. 

"Seriously?" Laura looked down at the girl laying on top of her.

"You said if there was anything you could do to make me more comfortable..." She trailed off, eyes still shut, a smirk growing on her face.  

Laura let out a huff, “fine.” she let her arms come down, placing one hand on the ground next to her and the other moved to brush Carmilla's bangs from her face without thinking. Carmilla stiffened a little when she felt Laura brush her bangs across her forehead, Laura froze, her hand still next to Carmilla's face.

_whatever, if she's going to lay on my lap then I can touch her hair. its not a big deal._

Laura moved her hand again and let her fingers brush lightly through the brunettes soft curls. Laura was right, her hair was extremely soft. After a moment of shared silence Carmilla opened her eyes and looked up at the blonde above her, “It’s too bad we are stuck in here, it should be dark out by now.”

“And that means what exactly?” Laura looked slightly confused. But that was becoming a normal feeling for her, Carmilla seemed to talk in riddles.

“It means, the stars would be out. This position would be much more useful outside where we could look at the stars instead of the ceiling tiles.” Her voice sounding a bit raspy and seductive.

Laura let out a nervous laugh and looked up to the ceiling tiles, “we could pretend?”   
The view outside would be better though, the ceiling tiles were a thin plastic that let the light from the emergency lights above them bleed through slightly. Not at all a pleasing view. “Plus, we are in LA so its not like you can see the stars anyway. The city is too bright.” she looked back down at the brunette in her lap.

“You just have to know where to look. If its dark out, the stars are always there, you just have to find them.”

 This sentiment meant more to Carmilla than it did to most. Darkness needed light to exist, but only in the right amounts. Too much of one, and the other would no longer be able to last. Likewise, two of the same could never survive together. Only one form of darkness could live at a time. Just as it was with the light. If there were two of the same, one would envelop the other.

 _The stars couldn't shine with the sun. Their fate was to never exist in the same place_.

_Was that her fate when it came to Laura?  Laura was the sun, and Carmilla existed in the night. She could only **dream** of being in her light._

Coming out of her thoughts a small smile came across Carmilla's face, “I have an idea.” she stood herself up and walked over to the wall, she placed a hand on the railing that lined the elevator and examined the door frame.

Laura sat watching her curiously when suddenly Carmilla was bracing herself against the door frame and lifting one of her feet up onto the railing. She leaned into the frame and somehow lifted her body up and placed her other foot on the railing, one hand on the door frame and the other pressing against the ceiling, trying to find support to stable herself. She wobbled a little and Laura shot up off the floor and rushed over underneath her, throwing her hands up to grab Carmilla to help steady her.

_Does this girl think she has the balance of a cat?!_

“Cupcake, I know I said my ass was numb, but not numb enough that I wouldn't notice you grabbing it.” Carmilla turned her head and looked down at Laura on the ground below her, her hands pressed firmly on her backside steadying her.

“Sorry!” Laura exclaimed letting go of Carmilla and pulling her hands back into her chest abruptly, causing Carmilla to wobble again at the sudden absence of support. Noticing her wobble Laura shot her hands out again, grabbing exactly where she had just let go.

The abruptness of Laura grabbing and letting go and then grabbing her ass again cause Carmilla to let out a big laugh. _This was quickly becoming her favorite moment of the night so far_. Laura couldn't help but match Carmilla's big laugh, seeing the humor in the situation. They stood there trying to maintain balance as both girls laughed freely and Laura fought the blush rising up the back of her neck.

“What are you doing anyway?” Laura laughed as she adjusted her hands to hold the back of Carmilla's legs.

Carmilla tried to stop laughing, it was making it more difficult for her to balance on the railing. Once she was able to compose herself she used one hand to steady herself and with the other reached to her back pocket and pulled out her lipstick. She bit the cap and pulled it off with her teeth and twisted the lipstick, bringing the dark shade of red further out of the tube. “well, sweetheart” she mumbled around the cap still in her mouth, “If we cant go out to see the stars, I thought we could bring them in to us.”  
She reached up and started making small marks on the clear plastic ceiling tiles with her lipstick. When she couldn't reach where she wanted she would slowly move herself around the elevator balancing on the railing, Laura following along still holding her up.

Laura payed more attention to Carmilla than she did to what Carmilla was actually doing. This girl was constantly surprising her. And frustrating her. She was definitely interesting and not at all what Laura had expected. It was actually kind of nice.

After a couple minutes Carmilla recapped her lipstick and placed it back in her pocket and hopped down off of the railing. Laura stepped back and tilted her head to look up. She looked at it for a second before shrugging and looking over at Carmilla, “I don't get it?”

Carmilla gave her a crooked smile and reached her hand forward to grab Laura's. She gave it a tug as she sat down on the floor again, prompting Laura to join her. She let go of Laura's hand and grabbed her flannel shirt and balled it up to make a pillow, long enough for both girls to share. She let herself lay back on it, looking up at the ceiling. Laura sat next to the brunette and watched her for a minute before laying down beside her. She turned her head to look at Carmilla, while Carmilla kept her focus on the ceiling.

“You’re staring” Carmilla turned her head to look at Laura.

Laura didn't move, and didn't reply. She just kept her gaze locked on Carmilla. They sat like that for a moment before Carmilla nervously cleared her throat and looked back up up at the ceiling.

“Look, its not entirely accurate, but I did my best.”

Laura finally broke her focus from the girl laying next to her and looked up at the ceiling. Carmilla had drawn out some constellations using her lipstick. Laura was actually quite impressed as Carmilla pointed them out and even told the stories of how they became what they were. If she was being honest she was only listening to the stories half of the time.  The other half she just listened to Carmilla's voice, and watched her while she talked. She was different talking about the stars.  Laura could see it was something she was passionate about. Her eyes lit up,  she moved her hands around animatedly and her entire demeanor changed. 

Carmilla finished one of her stories and went quiet. She listened to the sound of Laura's breathing, her own slowly starting to match pace. They lay there for a while silently, both looking up at the makeshift sky before Laura broke the silence. 

“How do you know all this stuff?” Laura's eyes traced the outlines of the constellations.

“I’ve always liked the stars. I find it comforting, how small we are in comparison. All the lives we’ve lived, people we’ve been.. nothing to that light.”

There was silence again for a moment, Laura pondering on Carmilla’s answer.

"It's quite beautiful actually.”

"What is?" Carmilla’s voice came out barely a whisper. 

"Your stars." She paused and turned her head to face Carmilla, the dark haired girl doing the same. Laura gave her a small smile before continuing her thought.   
 "I mean it's backwards" she turned her head to look up at the stars above them again. "Usually it's dark and the stars are the light. But in here with the light as the backdrop, it's almost like the sun and the stars are out at the same time. Ya know?"

Carmilla looked up at the ceiling and smiled.   _Leave it to Laura to change the fate of the stars._  

If the stars and sun could shine together, maybe Carmilla could have a chance with a girl like Laura, after all. 

——

**7:45pm**

Carmilla lay flat on her back, holding her legs up the wall above her, her flannel shirt balled up underneath her head as a pillow.  "So Laura, Laura Hollis.  Why journalism?" She turned her head to the side to be met with a look from Laura who was also laying flat on her back next to Carmilla. They had shifted so their heads lined up but their bodies and feet were on opposite sides of the elevator. 

Laura shrugged and looked up at the ceiling, "I guess I've always been a bit curious. I like to know the reasons behind things. Which is a good quality to have when you have to investigate stuff.  I also like the idea of being able to help people. So many people have no idea what's going on around them.  It's kind of exciting getting to be the person that knows before everyone else." She sighs, "that sounds lame, doesn't it?" She turns her head to look at Carmilla who is already watching her closely. 

"Extremely lame." Carmilla deadpans, which earns her a slap on the shoulder and a pout from Laura. 

"So, why music? Why the guitar?" Laura raises her eyebrows curiously as she turns to look at the girl laying next to her.    
_She's even more beautiful up close._  

Carmilla's face turned serious and she cleared her throat, "my um, my dad played. He taught me before he died." She slowly sat herself up, facing the wall. She wasn't sure how much to share of the tragic tale. She glanced down at Laura who had shifted to her side and propped herself up on one arm. "After he died I stopped playing for a while. But after I left New York, I decided it was time to start playing again." 

Laura looked up at her apprehensively and blurted out the question she had been thinking but had not intended on asking, "what happened to him?”

Carmilla was taken back by the question and hesitated long enough for Laura to panic.  "Oh my gosh, I'm sorry! That's probably none of my business and I was just wondering but I didn't mean to ask and that's so stupid of me. I mean I know we are all 'sharing is caring' and stuff since we are stuck here but that doesn't mean you HAVE to share. Or that you care. That was a stupid way to say that. I just mean I'm curious but you don't have to tell me.”  
When she finally stopped talking to take a breathe she noticed the small smile on Carmilla's face. Her eyes looking at her with such a soft and caring expression it caught her off guard. 

"It's ok, Laura. Don't have a panic attack.” her voice dry and sarcastic, trying to ease the tension.

 _Laura._ Her name coming from Carmilla’s lips was like Music. The way she said it, it flowed like a melody.

Carmilla twisted around so she could face Laura and scooted back against the wall and leaned back. She let out a sigh before getting into the story she desperately wanted to forget.   "It was a car accident. I had gone with my dad to one of his shows, which usually meant an open mic night at some bar. But we were driving home, it was late, and another car swerved into our lane and sent us off the road.  Our car flipped a few times down a hill.  The other car just left us there and drove away.” Her eyes glazed over remembering the accident, “They just left us." She took a second to take a breath and compose herself. The last thing she wanted was to cry in front of this girl while stuck in an elevator with her. 

Laura's eyes were filled will compassion, not pity like Carmilla was used to. She sat herself up and moved to sit in front of Carmilla, both sitting cross legged she scooted so their knees touched.  Laura gave her a small sad smile and reached out and took hold of Carmilla's hands.  She gave them a squeeze and kept hold of them and placed them on her lap.  Laura's thumb gently rubbed against Carmilla's hand, giving her enough comfort to continue. 

"We were pinned in the car for hours before someone found us. Dad was pretty hurt. Hell, we both were." Carmilla scoffed and let go of one of Laura's hands to reach up and grab the collar of her tank top, she pulled it down slightly to reveal a scar just under her collarbone, over her heart. "A piece of the windshield broke off and got lodged in my chest." She let out a sad laugh. "I didn't even know it was there until I got pulled out of the car"

"You had part of a windshield in your chest for hours and didn't know? How is that possible?" Laura whispered barely loud enough for Carmilla to hear. She could see the concern on Laura's face. 

_Shit, am I fucking this up?_

The gentle squeeze of her hand let her know this was ok. _She was ok._  

"I didn't notice cause my dad... He was pinned pretty badly. He couldn't move. And a tree-- we had rolled over into a tree and well.." She swallowed hard, trying to dislodge the knot that was forming in her throat, "I had to apply pressure to his stomach to try and stop the bleeding. But there was too much blood. And there wasn't enough space. The car was so smashed I could barely move to help him." She looked around the elevator, "remember when you wanted to brand me?" She let herself smile at Laura.    _Laura, who was still holding her hand._   "I haven't really loved small spaces since then.”

"I'm so sorry, Carm." Laura shook her head, her eyes starting to well up at the thought of Carmilla trapped in a car trying to save someone she loved. 

“Hey, Laura, Laura, Laura.." Carmilla reached up to wipe a tear from Laura's face, "it's ok, I'm ok." She gave the girl a small smile.

Laura took a deep breath and nodded, "so what happened?"

Carmilla looked down at their intertwined hands, "I sat there with him. We talked softly of dreams he had for me, for our family. He told me he was proud of me and that he loved me." She looked up and smiled at Laura, a real smile, "he told me I was born to play music and to never give up on my dreams."  She looked lost in thought for a moment, her smile changing to an expression Laura couldn't read. She let go of Laura's hands and leaned back against the wall.  

She continued, her voice different though, more distant, almost angry. "Paramedics pulled me away from him and put me in an ambulance. They told me later that night that moments after I let go of him, he was gone. He didn't even make it to the hospital." She sighed and looked down at her hands sitting alone in her lap "I shouldn't have let go." She whispered to herself. 

Laura's heart broke for Carmilla. She couldn't imagine having to go through something like that. She wanted nothing more than to reach out and hold the broken girl sitting in front of her.

So she did. 

Carmilla stiffened as arms were being wrapped around her once again. They were softer than they had been earlier that night, pulling her in close to the blonde. After a second she let herself relax into the embrace, her own arms slowly coming up to wrap around Laura, her head coming to rest on her shoulder, her face nuzzled into her neck.  She let out a slow breath, feeling like she was finally letting go of something. Guilt? Anger? Blame, perhaps. Whatever it was, she suddenly felt lighter. Less alone. 

\----

**8:12pm**

Carmilla tossed a cookie chunk into the air, it flew up almost touching the ceiling then came back down landing gracefully in her mouth.  She smirked, clearly proud of herself, and looked at Laura, "your turn, cutie." She broke off another piece and lifted her hand, giving Laura a look asking if she was ready.  Laura tilted her head back and opened her mouth. Carmilla tossed the cookie piece gently into the air, perfect aim.  It was almost in Laura's mouth when the blonde shut her eyes and squealed, "eeee! I can't Carm!" She laughed as the cookie hit her square in the face. 

Carmilla looked unimpressed, "come on, we've been doing this for 5 minutes and you freak out every time.”

"I know! I just see the cookie flying at my face and it just, it's not what a cookie should be doing!” she giggles as she grabs the cookie piece that had fallen from her face to her lap and pops it into her mouth smiling. "You're just more skilled than I am" she mumbles around her cookie bite. 

Carmilla smiles smugly "damn right." And nonchalantly tosses another piece up and catches it in her mouth. 

The pair sit on opposite sides of the elevator again, having run out of questions for the moment, and also trying to recover from the seriousness of the story Carmilla had just shared, they sat in silence. It was comfortable but Laura had never been a fan of silence. 

Laura watched the other girl thoughtfully for a moment. Noticing the curve of her lips, the shape of her neck and chest, the way her hair fell and framed her face. Her bangs falling perfectly, her eyes so dark and looking at her with such intensity...  Wait, her eyes were _looking at her_. 

 _Crap._  

"Carm?" Laura says trying to ignore the blush coming to her cheeks from getting caught staring. _Again._

"Hmm?" Was all she got in return. Carmilla's eyes still locked on her. 

"Will you play me a real song?" A smile playing at her lips, "pleeeeease?" She leaned forward and put her head in her hands, elbows on her knees, giving Carmilla her full attention. 

Carmilla looked at her for a second, squinting her eyes like she was considering it. She knew she was going to say yes. At this point she was sure Laura could get her to do anything just by asking.  She let out a dramatic sigh and reached over for her guitar. 

Laura squealed happily and clapped her hands in excitement, "yesss!" She made a fist and pumped it in the air like she was claiming victory.  Carmilla just rolled her eyes and started picking at the strings. 

"Any requests?" Her low sultry voice returning.  She felt most like herself when she was playing music. More comfortable, confident.

"I'll listen to anything you want to play me" Laura relaxed back against the wall, eager to hear Carmilla play.  

Carmilla started playing effortlessly. Pieces from songs Laura could guess, changing songs as soon as Laura figured out what they were. This went on for a while, every once in a while Laura couldn't guess the song, but for the most part Carmilla was impressed with her musical knowledge. 

"Do you sing too?" Laura lazily asked. Carmilla's playing was extremely relaxing and she was surprisingly content to sit there in the over heated elevator listening to her play. 

Carmilla raised an eyebrow at her "I do.” she drawled, plucking out a new tune, "I play and sing in a band at a bar down town on most weekends. I was supposed to be there tonight but..." She trailed off looking around the elevator "I'm not sure if we will get out of here in time for me to make tonight's show"

"Maybe I could come see you play sometime?" 

Carmilla lifted her eyes to meet Laura's.  In pure Laura fashion she nervously continued to rant at the lack of response "I mean you're really good and I bet you're even better with your band. Not that you need your band to be better, just that it's different. I mean I love listening to you play. But I'm sure it's great live. Not that this isn't live, I just mean, not in an elevator.  So maybe I could come hear you when we aren't in an elevator."

Carmilla stopped strumming and smiled up at Laura, "I think I might like that, very much."

\-----

**8:25pm**

Carmilla had continued to play her guitar, Laura guessed song after song for a while before just letting Carmilla play.  She was impressed at how many songs Carmilla had memorized and could play perfectly. She sat with her eyes closed leaning back against the wall listening to the music when she realized Carmilla had been playing the same song for quite a while, one she didn't recognize.  She opened her eyes and lifted her head off the wall.  

"I don't think I know this one.”

"Probably not, sweetheart" she replied softly, still playing the mystery tune. 

"Is it old?"

"No."

“New then?"

"You could say that." Carmilla glances up at Laura with a flirty smile on her face. 

“Well, what's it called?" Laura shifts forward, paying close attention to the brunette across from her.

"I haven't decided yet" Carmilla casually remarked. 

"Did you write this? Carm, it's beautiful!" Laura's eyes widening her face shifting into an expression of being impressed.  _Is there anything this girl can't do?_

Carmilla shrugged, "it's alright. I haven't been able to write the words for it though. Can't seem to get inspired.”  

Laura crossed her arms gently over her chest, still leaning back against the wall.  "So you play the guitar, sing, and write songs. Any other hidden talents I don't know about?" She lifts an eyebrow looking curiously over at Carmilla. 

“You mean besides my extensive knowledge in astronomy, and cookie catching skills?” Carmilla gives her a flirty smile, "I have to keep some of my secrets. Otherwise I'll lose my air of mystery, won't I?"

\------

**8:40pm**

Carmilla was still strumming her guitar. Quiet, slow melodies that seemed to be keeping herself and Laura calm despite the rising heat and level of uncomfortableness in the elevator.  Lara sat in the corner where two walls connected, leaning back against the wall, head tilted back with her eyes closed. Her legs out in front of her, ankles crossed.  She tapped her toes together to the beat of whatever song Carmilla was playing.  Their game of 20 questions had started up again but much slower than before.

“You haven’t really said much about your mom” Laura's voice comes out quiet but curious.  

_Of course she would be curious. Lauronica Mars here has managed to get every other personal detail out of you so far, why wouldn’t she ask about mother?_

Carmilla stopped strumming, her eyes locked on the ground, “we don’t really get along” she leaned the guitar against the wall and shifted nervously on the floor. She was already uncomfortable before, having been stuck in the elevator for hours now, it getting hotter by the minute, and you can only sit on the floor for so long before limbs start to tingle and go numb.

Laura opened her eyes and lifted her head off the wall, even though its only been a few hours she’s gotten pretty good at reading the girl sitting across from her.  She’s figured out that if she is patient enough while still staying focused on her, she eventually opens up about things.  She’s adding that to her list of interview tricks.

Carmilla can feel the blonde staring at her, obviously not satisfied with the answer that was given. She sighs, allowing her body to deflate.  Doing physically what she feels emotionally about the topic, “She changed after dad— she blames me, I think.” taking another deep breathe she looks up to find that same compassionate look on Laura's face.   
_Why does this girl care so much?_

“She’s part of the reason why I left for New York.  After dad- we had our issues but I didn’t want that to effect the way my brother felt towards her, so I left. But she changed.  She wasn’t always as cold as she is now.” she leaned her head back against the wall, shifting her eyes upwards, looking back up at their stars. “Losing someone you love changes you.  No matter what the circumstance.  I think you can be angry and blame yourself and everyone else and let it break you, or you find a way to let go.” Her eyes came back to Laura’s, focused completely on her, the intensity making Laura's heart beat faster, “You either let your heart grow dark, or learn to let the light in somehow. You know?”

Unable to break the stare Laura just nodded.    
She did know.  What she didn’t know was what these feelings Carmilla was eliciting from her were.  How, after just a few hours could this girl effect so much inside her? She was gorgeous, and compelling, smart, talented, and surprisingly sweet.  But there was still the mystery boy, Will.  And she couldn’t shake the sight of elevator girl draped over her, _in this very elevator_. She was growing more conflicted by the minute. She wanted to like this girl, _she did like this girl_ , but was it worth it? Or would she just end up getting hurt?

Camilla reached over and picked up her guitar again, it was her safety blanket after all.  “Anyway, some stuff happened between my brother and her and well, I stepped in and she didn’t agree.  She also doesn’t love the fact that I’m gay.  And she _loathes_ the fact that I left the life I had in New York and that I started playing music again. I think she just hates that it reminds her of my father.  Which is ironic, ‘cause I think thats the reason I love it so much.” she sighs, "But she’s still mother.” she says that last part with a little more snark.    
_Mother.  What a joke._

Laura didn’t move, didn’t say anything, she just looked thoughtfully at Carmilla.  She was getting glimpses but she still had no idea who this girl was.  And she still wanted to find out, badly.

Camilla sat up taller, her entire posture changing, her mood shifting like she was mentally and physically pushing aside the feelings she had about her mother.  Her eyes lingered on the blonde, she tilted her head to the side like she was considering something. She stopped strumming and hesitated for a second before setting the guitar gently in its case.  She stood herself up and brushed her hands together as she stepped towards Laura. 

Laura shifted and pulled her legs in towards her like she's trying to get out of the way. Carmilla moved closer to her until she was standing directly in front of her.  Laura looked up at Carmilla confused, not really understanding what was happening when the brunette extended her hand in front of Laura. 

Still confused Laura slowly lifted her hand and took hold of Carmilla's.  Carmilla immediately smiled and tightened her grip and pulled Laura forward, lifting her to her feet. She adjusted her hand in Laura's, interlocking their fingers and lifting their arms, Laura immediately started to blush as Carmilla reached forward with her other hand and took hold of Laura's waist, pulling her closer.  

Laura took a step forward lessening the gap between the two girls, “Carm? What are we—“

Carmilla grabbed Laura's other hand and lifted it to place it on her shoulder before putting her own hand back on Laura's waist.  
“You asked if I had any other hidden talents.  So here it is, sweetheart.” She smiled and pulled the girl in closer to her, closing the gap between their bodies.  

They were face to face, chest to chest… Laura's cheeks growing warmer, Carmilla's smile widening, they started to sway.

“Dancing? Without music? This is your hidden talent?” Laura shyly asks, noticing how gently Carmilla is holding her. Not at all what she expected.

“ _Waltzing_ , yes, is one of my _many_ hidden talents” she said playfully. They stopped simply swaying and Carmilla started gently leading Laura in small steps around the cramped elevator. “not exactly the ideal dance floor” she playfully chuckled “but it’ll do. For all that whirling..” she pushed Laura out and twirled her under her arm before pulling her back in tight against her body.  They took a few more steps, eyes locked on each other, their expressions less playful and more soft, questioning.   
“You know, back in 1698 it may as well have been sex.” she meant to say it flirty but it came out quiet, almost nervous.

They danced like that, in each others arms, dim lights and their make shift stars making the elevator feel almost romantic. The fact that there was no music didn't matter. Carmilla hummed the melody of the song she had played for Laura earlier that night, the one she had written. She would twirl Laura out and pull her back in close, both girls smiling and laughing. _It was electric._

After a while they stopped laughing and just danced, eyes locked on one another. The air in the elevator started feeling heavy, something was happening between the two girls and they both could feel it. Their steps slowed to swaying again until they were almost standing still.  Laura eyes dropped to look at Carmilla's lips, and she couldn’t help but bite her own. Carmilla's hand had moved from Laura's waist to the small of her back, her grip slowly grew tighter, pulling them closer together, if it was even possible. Laura quickly looked back up to make eye contact with Carmilla.  The brunettes expression unreadable.  

Her eyebrows were pushed together almost making her look concerned, but her eyes were soft, looking at Laura in a way that made her breathe hitch.  Camilla glanced down at Laura's lips, noticing the blonde biting her bottom lip nervously she couldn't help but smile.  She looked back up to Laura's eyes and her expression softened.  A small smile, her eyes soft, full of something. Something Laura couldn’t place.  Affection maybe?

Carmilla started to slowly move her face closer to Laura's, keeping eye contact, their lips nearly touching, but not yet.  Laura's eyes fluttered shut, anticipating the kiss—

_Is this really happening? This isn’t another day dream. This is really happening._

She’s sure Carmilla has to be about to kiss her when she feels her breathe on her ear instead of her lips.  Carmilla's lips brush Laura's earlobe causing her body to shudder. 

“Laura?”

 _Her name._ Spoken in the softest whisper she has ever heard. The way her chest tightens at the sound of her name coming from Carmilla's lips, she knows she’s gone. Its no longer just a crush, no matter how conflicted she feels about it.

“yeah?” is all she can manage to breathe out without completely losing herself.  Eyes still closed, wanting carmilla to kiss her, wanting to be closer to her.

“do you have a pen?” Carmilla's voice is further away now, no longer next to her ear.

“yeah.. “ she breathes out softly, “wait-” she opens her eyes, her expression immediately shifting to one of confusion as she sees the brunette looking at her, completely serious and waiting for an answer about- _about a pen?_

Their faces are just inches apart, their hands still intertwined, bodies pressed together. Laura looks into her dark eyes for a moment, trying to register whats happening. 

 _We were waltzing and now she wants a pen?_    
Whiplash.

“I think I have one in my bag” she doesn’t move but studies the girl inches from her.

“Can i borrow it?”

“Of course.”

Neither girl moves. hands still together, bodies held tightly to one another, they just look into each other eyes. 

Laura trying desperately to read Carmilla.   _Does this girl even like me? Or is this just what she does?_

Carmilla wanting so desperately to know if the blonde she’s staring at feels even a fraction of what she's feeling.

After what feels like forever, Carmilla slowly lowers her hand from Laura's back and steps back, pulling their hands apart and clearing her throat.  Laura hesitates for a second, still somewhat confused, and very aware of the warmth of Carmilla's body leaving her own.

She quickly steps over to her bag and searches through it to find a pen.  She finds one and lifts it to Carmilla who takes it and smiles before stepping back to her guitar case and sitting down on the floor again. She pulls out a small notebook from the case and starts writing.  Head down, completely focused. Leaving Laura still standing awkwardly watching her, tapping her hands against her thighs.  Laura lets out a sigh and moves to sit back down next to her own things, across from Carmilla.

“ooookay” she drawls out as she crosses her ankles in front of her and leans back, still eyeing the brunette who is clearly ignoring her.

_Freaking whiplash._

 

  
———

**9:06pm**

Laura tosses another empty soda can into the pile of candy wrappers.  She had finished off the last of her 6 pack of soda, a package of cookies, the melted m&ms, some other candy and a bottle of water.

Carmilla finally glanced up from her notebook and saw Laura's leg bouncing rather quickly. “Don't go getting all sweaty and delirious on me now, cupcake.” she drawled out sarcastically.

“I just really shouldn’t have drank that much, ya know, being stuck in an elevator and all.” her leg still bouncing. They had been in there for hours and she didn’t even think about the fact that there was no bathroom until it was too late.  Laura stood and started pacing the elevator.  She let out a nervous laugh, “seriously, i’m having a hard time here.”

Carmilla couldn’t help the laugh that exploded from her at the sight, her whole body shaking trying to contain it for Laura's sake. 

“Its not funny!” Laura pouted as she continued to pace and bounce like a child that was about to pee their pants would.

Carmilla stood and leaned back against the wall, crossing her arms in front of her, “well sweetheart, better hope the electricity kicks back on soon.” she said smugly. She was enjoying this far too much.

As if on cue, the elevator shook and the main lights flickered on.  Laura stumbling, reached out and grabbed Carmilla’s arms to steady herself at the sudden movement, Carmilla gently steadying the girl in front of her.  Again they were just inches apart and their eyes locked on one another.  There was humming of power and then a slight shift as the elevator start moving.  They stood there, still holding onto each other, small smiles on their faces as the doors slowly parted.  A frantic Perry rushed in grabbing both girls and pulling them quickly out of the elevator.  They both stumbled at the surprising strength the tiny red head possessed, having to regain their balance as they were out of the elevator standing in the lobby.  

“uh, are we interrupting?” LaFontaine commented raising an eyebrow and gesturing with their hands towards to the two girls.

“oh my goodness! I was so worried about you both!” Perry grabbed Laura and gripped her into a giant bear hug, Laura's arms trapped at her sides.   Laura laughed a little and looked over to Carmilla, “it wasn’t that bad, actually” she said softly, still watching the brunette.

Carmilla had walked back into the elevator to grab her guitar and shirt.  She left the elevator and set the case down on the ground, tied her shirt around her waist and grabbed the pen Laura had gave her out of her back pocket.

Perry released Laura and went to hug Carmilla but stopped immediately when she saw the look carmilla was giving her.  She sheepishly stepped back to Laf, “well we are glad you are both alright.” Laf looked over at her approvingly and grabbed her hand before smiling over at Laura and Carmilla.

“Now that we’ve freed you from the giant metal prison, whats your first act as free women?” Laf joked

"Bathroom break!" Laura exclaimed immediately

Carmilla gave them a half smile before stepping over to Laura and grabbing her hand. Laura stood in the same place Perry had left her after the giant hug and looked down at her arm where carmilla was now writing.

Carmilla finished writing something on Laura's arm, capped the pen and handed it back to Laura before turning and picking up her guitar without a word.  She sauntered towards the door before calling over her shoulder, “I go on at 9:45, sweetheart.”

Laura looked over at Laf and shrugged, then glanced down at her arm, it was an address.


	6. broken melodies and almost moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Laura go after Carmilla? Will Carmilla have the courage to tell her how she feels???  
> lets just get everyone drunk..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **This chapter has a couple songs, just imagine with me that carmilla wrote them and don't be dumb about it.  
> I'll apply links so you can hear the versions I imagined with it, or you can look them up yourself.  
> first one, "I Cant make you love me - Alex G (cover)  
> second, "Make you Mine - Us The Duo
> 
> tumblr: yoitsmeecass (in case you want to come say hey)

**9:15pm**

“You don’t think it seems desperate to show up?” Laura fumbles with her keys until she finds the one for her apartment and unlocks the door.  She pushes the door open with her foot and walks inside, Laf and Perry following right behind.   After graciously letting her use their bathroom, they had helped her gather what was left of her groceries out of the the elevator and walked up the stairs with her.  Even though the power was back on, after spending hours in the elevator Laura didn’t want to chance it.

“She wrote the address on your arm for a reason.  She wants you there, crushes on neighbors.” LaF lifted the groceries onto the counter, which Perry immediately started unpacking for Laura.   

Laura let Perry push her out of the way to put something in the cupboard and leaned up against the counter, watching the redhead organize her groceries far better than she would have. Perry seemed to be in her own little world so Laura turned back to Laf, “what if she was just.. i don’t know.” she sighed, “Isn’t she a player? I don’t want to be just anoth—“

Before she could finish the sentence Perry quickly took a step to stand in front of her, raising her hand to silence Laura. LaF just smiled in Laura's direction with a knowing expression on their face.  They knew Perry was about to drop some very blunt wisdom on the blonde.

“Now you stop right there, Laura. Carmilla is not some “player’!” she added air quotes for effect, “she’s actually a very sweet girl who’s had a rough go at life. You should give her a chance.”

Laura rolled her eyes, _what did Perry know anyway? Its not like Carmilla and her were best buds or anything._

Laf, seeing Laura's hesitance to believe Perry spoke up, “She’s right, L.  You should give her a chance.”

Laura crossed her arms over her chest, she was determined to be right about this girl, “and why is that?" _The time in the elevator was a fluke, circumstance softened the brunette who was otherwise a flirty, brooding, player.  Right?_

Perry went back to sorting and rearranging the cupboard and even Laura's fridge as she spoke matter of factly, “A few years back we were having some legal trouble with one of our tenants and Carmilla volunteered to help us out.  Apparently she was the CEO or leading partner at her own law firm out in New York.  She basically saved us from losing everything.  And she didn’t charge us a thing.”

Laura's expression softened, uncrossing her arms she leaned back against the counter, “I had no idea. She didn't tell me she was a lawyer, just that she plays music.”

Laf reached over and grabbed one of the chocolate bars still sitting on the counter, “She isn’t a lawyer, anymore.” They took a bite and looked up at Laura, “While she was out in New York her brother got into some trouble, pretty deep into some shady stuff apparently, and their mom totally freaked out on him. It was bad.  So Carmilla left New York and her entire company and came back here to take care of her brother.  She totally helped him turn things around.” they took another bite, “he’s still kind of an ass, but a lovable one.” They laughed quietly as Perry turned around to add an agreeing nod.

“She basically gave up her entire life, which was going pretty damn well, to take care of her family.”  Laf went to reach for another chocolate piece and received a slap on the hand from Perry who had finished organizing and walked over to the counter where the other two were. “The shitty thing about that though, she was dating some chick at the time pretty seriously. when she told her she was leaving the company to help her brother the chick dumped Carmilla. She told Carmilla she was only with her for the money and it wasn’t worth the trouble if she was going to give all that up for some bratty kid. Broke Carmilla's heart.” Both Laf and Perry shook their head in disapproval before Laf added, “Jokes on her though. Carmilla still owns the company, so the bitch lost out on the money and the girl.”

Perry shot them a disapproving look, “language, sweetie!” earning her an eye roll and a smile from Laf.

Laura laughed at their exchange but was still trying to figure out what to do with what they were telling her.  Carmilla had shared parts of these stories with her while they were in the elevator but gosh, _she was the queen of downplaying huge life events!_   She never once made it seem like she gave everything up for her brother, or told her how much of a bitch Elle was.  

“And you know Mrs Jensen right?” Perry asked while gathering chocolate crumbs into a pile on the counter with her hand.

"The cat lady down the hall?" Laura asked, unsure where this was going. 

Perry walked over to the garbage and brushed the crumbs off her hands “She isn’t allowed to drive anymore and her husband passed away a few years ago. Ever since then Carmilla takes her to the grocery store, runs errands with her and visits with her at least once a week."

Laura somewhat in shock, was trying to process all this new information.  She had been completely wrong.  Carmilla was this incredible person who had sacrificed everything for her brother.  Had helped Perry and Lafontaine asking for nothing in return. Had been in love with someone who used her and treated her like garbage, “what about- I saw her with some girl.. and then some guy?” _she couldn’t have been wrong about everything, could she?_

Perry grabbed Laf's hand and started pulling them towards the door, “All I know is that you shouldn’t make assumptions.” 

“Just go, L!” LaF smiled back at Laura as Perry pulled them through the door, leaving Laura stunned and completely confused.

——

**9:20pm**

Laura sat on her couch, staring at the tv.   _It wasn’t even on._  She had changed into her sweats and planned to get back to her original idea of a weekend full of Netflix but she couldn’t stop thinking about Carmilla.  She had been wrong about so many things. She was nothing like she expected while they were in the elevator.  She was sweet, and funny, intelligent, gentle… beautiful. In more ways than one.  And after everything Perry and Laf had told her— _Could she be wrong about the ‘player’ status she was so sure of, too?_

Laura jumped up off the couch and grabbed her phone from off the counter as she ran into her room.  She held the phone to her ear with her shoulder as she removed her sweat pants and grabbed a pair of jeans, pulling them on quickly.

After a couple rings she heard the familiar voice on the other end, “Hollis?”

“Hey. Can you go with me somewhere?”  

She grabbed her bag and ran out the door. 

——

**9:35pm**

“Come on Danny, we are going to be late!” Laura bounced nervously in the passenger seat of Danny’s car.

“Calm down Hollis, I’m going as fast as LA traffic is letting me” she shook her head at the blonde that had been saying the same thing repeatedly since she had picked her up 15 minutes ago.

They pulled into the parking lot of the bar, which was packed. Laura hopped out and headed to the door as Danny drove around to find an empty parking spot. Laura took a deep breathe before pulling on the heavy bar door and walking inside.  A rush of cold air hit her as she stepped in and looked around.  Pool tables, a few dining booths, a long bar that wrapped around half the room, a small stage on the other end of the room, plenty of people drinking, but no sign of Carmilla.  She looked down at the writing on her arm then glanced up over at the bar and saw a sign, "Silas". The names matched. She was in the right place. So where was she?  She slowly walked over to the bar, still searching the room for the dark haired girl.  It was only 9:40 she couldn’t have missed her.  Laura found a stool and was sitting at the bar when she heard a familiar voice, “What’ll it be Laura, Laura Hollis?” She looked over quickly to see Will, standing behind the bar with the same flirty smile he always wore.

Laura laughed to herself, _of course._  Looks like she hadn’t been wrong after all.  Of course the mystery guy works at the bar Carmilla plays at. “I’ll have a beer, I guess” she shakes her head and turns her attention back to the room.  Maybe she can leave before Carmilla sees her and save herself the embarrassment.  

Will places a beer in front of her and tilts his head, “Haven’t seen you in here before. What brings you out tonight? And don’t tell me its the bars air conditioning because I know your building has AC” he grabs a rag and starts wiping the counter, but keeps his attention on Laura.

Laura reaches over and grabs the beer and takes a big gulp.   _Maybe he won’t notice I’m stalling while I try to come up with an answer that doesn’t involve Carmilla._ Her eyes shift around the room as she’s still downing gulps of her beer, Wills eyes still studying her.  Then she sees her.  Leather pants, flannel shirt, soft raven hair falling perfectly, dark eyes… She’s stepping up onto the small stage at the other end of the bar and Laura can’t take her eyes off of her.  

Will follows her line of sight and sees who she’s looking at, “Ah, I see.” he nods to himself, “You came to see my sister, huh?”

Laura nearly chokes on her beer. She pulls the bottle away from her lips coughing and sets it down on the counter, “your who?” she barely gets out between coughs.

“Carmilla? She’s my sister.” his eyebrows push together, slightly confused, “I thought you knew that?”

Still trying to compose herself she sits up a little taller and nervously gestures with her hand, “oh yeah, of course. I mean, I didn’t know, but now I do, and you’re her brother.” _the brother she gave up everything for_.  She could see it now.  They looked so much alike.  Both charming and cocky, the same smirk, same dark eyes.  

_Laf was right. Lovable ass_.

Before anything else could be said someone slid onto the stool next to Laura, eliciting an eye roll from Will as he walked away. Laura turned to see who it was.  

_No. frickin. way.  Elevator girl._

“Hey, baby.” Elsie slurred. She was completely drunk as she swayed on top of the stool, leaning a little to close to Laura.  Laura shifted in her seat, obviously uncomfortable. Suddenly Danny appeared at her side. 

“Go away, Elsie” Danny rolled her eyes at the intoxicated girl sitting in front of her.

Danny was met with a stare and some mumbling from Elsie that neither Laura or Danny could understand before she stumbled away.  Danny shook her head and sat down on the stool next to Laura and waved at Will asking for a beer.

“Wait, you know her?” Laura asked a little surprised

“Who, Elsie?” Danny asked, reaching to grab the beer Will set in front of her. “Everyone knows her. She gets around.” she said suggestively as she lifted the beer to take a sip.

Laura rolled her eyes. Just when she was starting to believe she was wrong about Carmilla, she finds out she hooks up with the girl everyone ‘knows’.

Danny takes a sip and twists in her stool to lean back against the bar, looking out into the crowd, “actually I heard this funny story that happened to her.  A month or so back I guess she basically forced some girl to take her home, lying about not remembering where she lived or something. The girl took Elsie home— a girl, which apparently is a 10 on the hot scale and never hooks up with anyone, even though everyone certainly tries." She stops to take a sip, clearly unaware of the tangent she's gone off on, ignoring the original story. "She’s got to be the most attractive girl in LA from what I’ve heard” she glances over at Laura who’s surprisingly focused on Danny and her story.

_Could she be talking about Carmilla? Am I about to hear the story of Carmilla and elevator girl hooking up?_

“Anyway, she gets back to this girls place and is making her move, and the girl just puts her to bed.” she takes another sip, Laura growing impatient waiting to hear what happened, “Like, tucks her in, gives her some tylenol and a glass of water, and then leaves her there.  This chick leaves Elsie in her bed and goes and sleeps on the couch.” Danny lets out a big laugh, “Can you imagine? You think you’re about to hook up with the hottest girl you’ve ever seen and she just tucks you in instead?”

_No. Way._  

Laura's jaw drops. _I was completely wrong._ _Laura you’re an idiot!_ “do you- what was the girls name?” Laura asked trying to sound casual.

Danny takes another sip, looking out over the crowd, “It was something different. Carmen? Camille?”

“Carmilla?” Laura asks eagerly, her effort of being casual completely disappearing.

Danny looks down at Laura curiously, “uhh, yeah, maybe?”

Just then instruments started making sound across the bar.  Laura looked across to the stage where Carmilla was tuning her guitar, a couple of guys on the stage with her, readying their own instruments. One sat behind a drum set, another holding what Laura assumed was a base guitar.  another sat on the piano bench messing with amps or speakers or something. Laura new very little about musical instruments if she was being completely honest.

She had been so wrong about her, and Carmilla had even told her that.  “ _you’ve got it all wrong, cutie_ ” she remembers her saying.  This girl was nothing like she thought. She was so much more, and yet she didn’t flaunt it.  She could have bragged about owning her own law firm in New York, instead she talked about her love of music.  She didn’t say awful things about her mother despite the way she treated her or her brother when he was messing up. She understood that their mother was hurting and instead of condemning her for it, she tried to be understanding.  Someone she was in love with had used her, treated her atrociously and broke her heart. And she told the story of it so casually, saying it didn't work because she wasn't what Elle ultimately wanted, not saying a single bad thing about her.  She had lost her father, practically watched him die in her arms and still talked about letting light in.   _This girl was incredible._  

It was that moment that Laura realized— _she had completely fallen for Carmilla._

——

**9:50pm**

The lights flickered quickly then the entire bar went dark.  A groan of surprise erupted from the crowd filling the room.  

Laura gripped the bar at the sudden darkness and heard Will a few feet away, “Dammit!”  

Laura smiled, remembering that _exact_ reaction coming from Carmilla earlier that night.

Then she heard Will yelling over the crowd, “Hey kitty! A little help?!”

A few seconds later Laura could hear music playing.  It was coming from the piano that sat at the back of the stage, but it was pitch black in the bar so Laura couldn't see who was playing.  The piano was quiet, or the crowd was loud. Possibly both.  Everyone else started to notice the sound coming from somewhere in the darkness and the voices filling the bar started to grow quieter.  When the sound of talking had died down quite a bit Laura could hear Carmilla starting to speak.

“Earlier today I had the pleasure of getting stuck in an elevator.” Carmilla said dryly.

The crowd laughed collectively at the statement that was accompanied by a sweet and slow melody on the piano. 

She continued, “It turned out to be a rather interesting experience.” she started playing a little louder, “I met someone, actually. And well, for the first time in a long time, I felt inspired.” she paused and the crowd grew more quiet, clearly captivated by the girl playing the piano and her intoxicating voice.  “I have a couple songs I haven’t played for you all before. And to be honest, not having to look at all your faces is going to make it easier for me to play them for you.”  this was met with laughter, again.

_This girl was something else._

“So while we sit here in the dark together, I’m going to force you to listen to a song that actually involves feelings. I guess it's about learning to let go to make room for something else.” Carmilla's voice suddenly sounded smaller, almost nervous.

She played out a few more bars of music before starting to sing along.  The small, nervous voice was gone- replaced with one full of power but still soft and raw. It was beautiful.  Laura was captivated. Hell, the entire bar was.  

  
[_Turn down the lights_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5rzdS-FIXw)  
_Turn down the bed_  
_Turn down these voices_  
_Inside my head_  
_Lay down with me_  
_Tell me no lies_  
_Just hold me close_  
_Don't patronize_

  
A few lyrics in and the bar was silent except for Carmilla's voice and the piano.  Laura knew this girl was talented, but she was completely blown away. She had no idea she could play the piano and as cliche as it sounded, she had the voice of an angel. It was low and rich, full of emotion.  All Laura could do was listen.  The room was completely dark and it felt like they were the only two there. 

_  
'Cause I can't make you love me_  
_If you don't_  
_You can't make your heart feel_  
_Something it won't_  
_Here in the dark_  
_In this final hour_  
_Imma lay down my heart_  
_And feel the power if you want_  

  
Laura felt her chest tighten.  Her stomach fluttered as she listened to Carmilla sing. The girl who was usually guarded and seemed standoffish was suddenly letting herself be vulnerable and honest with a crowd full of strangers. 

_I'll close my eyes_  
_Then I won't see_  
_The love you don't feel_  
_When you're holding me_  
_Morning will come_  
_And I'll do what's right_  
_Just give me till then_  
_To give up this fight_

The slow melody flowed from the girl on stage, and the lyrics were incredible. Hauntingly beautiful. You could tell Carmilla had felt everything she was singing and somehow she made you feel it too. 

Laura listened intently and could suddenly start to see Carmilla's face.  The electricity was still out but there was a small light illuminating the brunettes face as she sat at the piano.   

Was she dreaming again?

Laura looked around and saw that the silent crowd had started to use their cell phones to light up the room.  Small screens were being lifted above their heads, letting a low soft light flow over Carmilla.  It's was beautiful, almost magical. Dozens of phones lit up the room, everyone still silent, all eyes fixed on the beautiful girl on stage.  

  
Cause I can't make you love me   
_If you don't_  
_You can't make your heart feel_  
_Something it won't_  
_Here in the dark_  
_In these final hours_  
_I will lay down my heart_  
_And feel the power if you want_  
_No you won't_

  
Carmilla's eyes were shut, emotion written all over her features. At first Laura thought it was an expression of being broken, of hurt.  But after listening to the words of her song and watching her sing she saw something different.

Letting go. Hope. Possibility. 

The song ended, everyone still silent, Carmilla let out a deep breathe and opened her eyes. 

It was amazing how captivated the crowd was, even after the song had finished.  Laura looked around the room at everyone watching the brunette, then back to Carmilla.  She was in her element, it was clear she belonged on that stage. Her dad had been right. Laura hoped she knew that.

“woah”

“I know.”   Realizing she said that out loud and not sure to who, she turned and squinted trying to make out the person sharing the feeling of awe with her.  All the phones were being held in Carmilla's direction so only a little light flooded near the bar but she could tell it had been Will.

“woah?” she asked him, curiously.

“yeah, woah. She hasn't ever played that song in public before. I’ve asked her to, cause its really good, but she always said it was too hard.”  Will shrugged and opened a beer for himself, “whatever happened in that elevator must have been huge.” He took a sip and walked away leaving Laura a little puzzled, and kind of excited.

_She was what happened in that elevator. Right? Could Carmilla have feelings for her too?_

——

**9:50pm**

Carmilla stepped up onto the stage and grabber her guitar. She and the rest of the band started tuning their instruments and were getting ready to start played when suddenly the lights flickered quickly then the entire bar went dark.  A groan of surprise erupted from the crowd filling the room.

Carmilla let out a sigh, “not again”. She stood there trying to decide if it was worth risking falling of the stage to try to walk over to the bar when she heard Will yell over the crowd, “Hey kitty! A little help?!”

“What the hell am I supposed to do?” She rolled her eyes to herself, it was too dark for anyone else to see how annoyed she was. Realizing that having a drunk crowd getting scared or angry in the dark was a really bad idea, she understood what Will wanted her to do and started feeling her way in the dark towards the back of the stage. She found the piano and pulled the bench underneath her and sat down. _Here goes nothing._

She placed her hands on the keys and took a deep breathe. She slowly started hitting keys, not playing any song in particular, more so just trying to gain the attention of the irritated crowd.

When the noise had died down a bit she finally spoke, “Earlier today I had the pleasure of getting stuck in an elevator.” It was that moment she realized she knew the perfect song to play and started to play the melody she knew too well. One she hadn't played for anyone on purpose before. Will had overheard her play it one night and tried to get her to play it at the bar, but she hadn't ever been ready. Until tonight.

“It turned out to be a rather interesting experience. I met someone, actually. And well, for the first time in a long time, I felt inspired.” Her fingers moved along the keys effortlessly, “I have a couple songs I haven’t played for you all before. And to be honest, not having to look at all your faces is going to make it easier for me to play them for you.”

Taking a deep breath she forced herself to continue. “So while we sit here in the dark together, I’m going to force you to listen to a song that actually involves feelings. I guess it's about learning to let go to make room for something else.” She knew it was time to let go, she was finally ready, but it didn't make singing about it in front of a room full of strangers any easier.

  
_Turn down the lights_  
_Turn down the bed_  
_Turn down these voices_  
_Inside my head...._  
 

Once she started singing, everything else disappeared. She felt like she was at home by herself, playing and singing like she had so many times. Before she knew it, the song was over. It was like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders, she felt like she had finally let go. Of the hurt, the pain, the regret.. everything. Everything that had been holding her back didn't matter anymore. The fear of being hurt again didn't matter as much as the feelings she had that had been growing more and more throughout the night. _The feelings she had for Laura._

Carmilla took a deep breath and opened her eyes, suddenly remembering she wasn't actually at home alone, but at the bar. When she looked out into the crowd all she could see was a bunch of small lights directed towards her. It took her a moment to realize what it was. It was the light from dozens of phones being held in the air.  Like the stars that formed the constellations, they shone bright. It was incredible. 

——

A moment later the lights flipped on earning a groan from the crowd as their drunken eyes tried to adjust.  Camilla glanced around the room, people putting their phones away, slowly turning back to their drinks and conversations. The level of noise was still rather low compared to normal in the bar.  She glanced over to the bar and saw her.

Honey blonde hair, eyes that could light up a room, and that smile…  Carmilla couldn't help but smile back, making eye contact with the girl across the room. Laura's smile turned shy and she lifted a hand to wave at Carmilla.  

_She came._

Carmilla's smile grew wide before she turned to the others on the stage, said something quickly, then picked up her guitar and turned back to the mic in front of her.  “Alright lackwits, how about we pick things up a bit?” she crooned into the microphone.  Only Carmilla could insult an entire room of people and still make it sound charming.

She started strumming her guitar and immediately Laura recognized the tune.  It was the song Carmilla had played her in the elevator, the one she said she hadn’t written the words for yet.  The tempo was a little faster but she was sure it was the same song. Was she just going to play chords? _Or… is that what she was doing when she asked for a pen? After they had danced?_

Carmilla strummed effortlessly, all eyes turning back to her.  The way she could gather the drunken crowds attention was amazing. She looked back across the bar and found Laura, gave her a flirty half smile and winked, “This ones for you, cupcake.” she turned her attention back to her guitar as she started to strum out the familiar chords.

  
_[If summer is for lovers then consider me in love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uh29mZZ0cAs)_  
_I found the one who, I found the one who I’m dreaming of_  
_If friends are what you’re looking for consider me your friend_  
_But I’ll break apart and take your heart before the story ends_

  
She paused for a moment, taking a deep breathe, her eyes lifted to find Laura again. They were different than they were when Laura had first seen them. Lighter, bright, but still intense.  Carmilla was looking at her like she was the only person that existed, it made her heart beat quicken and she couldn’t fight the smile growing wider on her face.

Was this really happening? She had been so wrong about this girl.   _So incredibly wrong._  And she wanted desperately to tell Carmilla and somehow make it right.

Carmillas smile grew wide as she started singing again-

_This is the part, where we fall in love._  

  
This is it, the moment of truth. Camilla was putting it all out there and she hoped Laura would hear her.  She hoped she would actually have a chance with this girl.

  
_Tonight, I will make you mine_  
_I will make you mine_  
_I will make you mine_  
_if you let me_  
_if you let me_

  
The band behind her joined in, the crowd started dancing along, the energy in the room electric.  Laura watched the girl on stage in her element, the brunette never taking her eyes off of her.  Listening to the lyrics Laura knew Carmilla had written less than an hour ago, she was blown away. 

  
_Dating for the fun of it is no longer my game  
I’ll take all your lovers and I’ll put ‘em all to shame_  
_Don’t compare the love in the air to anyone before_  
_Cause when you find the one you been dreaming of you will hurt no more_  
_This is the part where you check yes or yes_

  
Laura scooted off the stool and started walking away from the bar, towards the stage.  Carmilla's stare never faltering as Laura pushed her way through the crowd of people dancing in the center of the room. 

  
_Tonight I will make you mine_  
_I will make you mine_  
_I will make you mine_  
_If you let me, if you let me_

  
Laura finally made it to the edge of the stage, smile wide and eyes locked on the girl singing for her. She didn't want to go another moment without this girl in her life.

  
_We've been together for awhile now and every day seems new_   
_You know it when you know it and I always knew with you_   
_I'm down here on my knee and never felt so right_   
_When I come back up I'll call you mine 'Till the end of time_   
_This is the part where we say 'I do'_

_Tonight I will make you mine_  
 _I will make you mine_  
 _I will make you mine_  
 _If you let me_  
 _If you let me_

The song ended and the crowd cheered excitedly. Carmilla nodded across the room to Will who immediately turned on some music through the speakers, allowing the crowd to continue to dance and Carmilla and the band to take a break. Carmilla set her guitar down and walked to the edge of the stage, just above Laura.

“So..” Carmilla was suddenly feeling shy and extremely nervous. She had just sang a song that she wrote for this girl, and had no clue what she was thinking. 

“wow, that was..” Laura was looking up at Carmilla, a little lost for words, “I mean, I know that wasn't just for me but seriously-“

Carmilla quickly stepped down off the stage directly in front of Laura, only a few inches separated them. 

“Don't be an idiot.” She said quietly as she reached up to tuck a strand of Laura's hair behind her ear, “Of course it was for you.”

Laura felt her heart rate pick up and her cheeks start to warm. _whoa. Say something Laura! Anything!_

Carmilla looked nervously at the blonde in front of her as she took a small step forward, lessing the space between them even more. She reached her hand out to find Laura's arm and let her hand slide down from her forearm to her hand. She gave her hand a light squeeze and started to lean in.

Just then Laura felt a hand grip tightly onto her other arm and pull her quickly away from Carmilla, turning her body so her back was to the brunette.

“I love this place!” Danny yelled excitedly over the crowd, obviously completely oblivious to the very private moment she had just interrupted. “Come meet S.J. and Kirsch!” she turned, Laura's arm still in her grip, dragging her along behind her.

Laura quickly turned her head back around to try and say something to Carmilla, try to explain, or tell her she would be right back but instead of seeing Carmilla's face, she saw her back.  Carmilla was walking in the opposite direction, towards the bar and away from Laura.

_no, no, no, no!_


	7. Table dancing and Security Cameras

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura decides to Girl the Hell up! but will it be in time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a harder time writing this chapter than I did the other ones for some reason, so sorry if its not as long or as good. Hope you still enjoy it though :)
> 
>  
> 
> tumblr: yoitsmeecass (in case you want to come say hey)

**10:20pm**

Laura sat next to Danny in one of the booths lining the wall of the bar.  Danny and a guy she worked with, Kirsch were arguing about something sports related.  Laura knew less about sports than she did about musical equipment, so she was easily tuning them out.

“This happens every time we hang out”

Laura was pulled out of her own thoughts at S.J.’s comment.  She was actually very pretty and Laura suspected pretty smart, but playing dumb for Kirsch’s sake.  He wasn't the brightest guy in the room, but he was pretty lovable.  Like a big puppy dog.

“They argue a lot, huh?” Laura replied, trying to be polite but honestly wasn't interested in making small talk. What she really wanted was to be across the room with the gorgeous brunette sitting at the bar.

“You have no idea.  If they didn't hate each other so much I might be worried it was something else.” SJ laughed and looped her arm into Kirsch’s. “Baby, why don't you go get some more drinks for us?”

Kirsch looked over at his girlfriend and saw her pouting, looked back at Danny and started to stand up, “This isn't over Lawrence!” he pointed at her as he walked away.

“Whatever, popped collar!” Danny called after him as she leaned back into the booth, sitting close to Laura.  Noticing the shorter girls pouty mood she nudged her with her elbow, “Whats on your mind, hollis?”

Laura was completely spacing out, staring at a certain girl across the room.  “I think I screwed it up.” She huffed and dropped her head onto the table with a loud thud.

Danny and SJ exchanged a confused look before Danny grabbed Laura's shoulder and pulled her back, lifting her head up off the table, “what are you talking about?”

Laura threw her hands up in defeat,  “Carmilla. The 10! We were in an elevator, and she sang for me, and I drank too much soda, and her laugh.. Danny, her laugh. I love her laugh. And she's not what I expected, and she's definitely not a 10, she's like a 20, easily.  And she's sweet and helps old ladies.  And then theres Elle. Man, she was a bitch. And she drew me the stars, and she blew out the licorice candle even though she thought it was dumb. And I grabbed her ass! Twice! And then Will and her, they are so good to each other and I didn't even know, you know?! ugh!”  Her thoughts from the entire night came fumbling out making no sense to anyone that heard what she was saying. “Danny, we danced. We freaking waltzed and it was perfect.” She dropped her head back down into the table.

Danny's eyebrows came together, confusion written all over her face, which only irritated Laura more.  Suddenly Natalie, one of the other girls Danny had introduced her too just a little earlier came sulking back to the table and scooted into the booth next to SJ.  

"Remind me to never use table dancing as a joke when hitting on someone" Natalie pouted and put her head on SJ's shoulder. 

"Didn't go too well, huh?" SJ tried to contain the giggle that desperately wanted to escape. _Who uses table dancing as a pick up line?_

Natalie just groaned and dropped her head into the table, joining Laura in defeat.

SJ patted Natalie's back and leaned forward so Danny and Laura could hear her better, "Nat's been trying to ask the lead singer out for months now.  But every time she does the girl just tells her she 'isn't dating right now'."

Laura sits up quick, _she's talking about Carmilla_. 

"Not this time!" Natalie shoots up and slaps her hands on the table, "this time she said she was interested in someone else." She throws her arms up dramatically "why not me?!" 

Danny and Laura let out a laugh at the dramatic reaction from Natalie. Laura also felt a swarm of butterflies in her stomach, hoping that the someone Carmilla is interested in, is her. 

Natalie grins at them then turns to the crowd, "oh my gosh guys, did you see the blonde that just walked in?" And with that, Natalie was out of the booth and across the room.  

SJ shook her head and laughed, "at least she gets over rejection quickly."

Laura laughed with the other girls at the booth and glanced back over to the bar to try and get a glimpse of Carmilla but she was nowhere to be seen. 

\-----

**10:20pm**

Carmilla pulled the stool out from under the bar and sat down, Will immediately placing a drink in front of her.  She nodded a 'thanks' and took a sip.  Leaning her arms against the bar, slouched and head down, Will could tell something was up. 

"What's up, kitty? You just killed it up there" he gestured to the stage and grabbed his own drink. 

"Nothing. I'm fine." She readjusted on the stool and took another drink. 

Suddenly Carmilla felt a tap on her shoulder and a body slide up next to her own.  She let out a sigh, she really wasn't in the mood. She turned and was face to face with a girl she remembered talking to a few times, she was pretty but not really Carmilla’s type.  She introduced herself and started talking, but Carmilla was looking past her to look at Laura sitting in a booth across the room.  

Carmilla heard something about table dancing coming from the girl ranting next to her and confusedly turned back to the girl obviously trying to flirt with her.  Carmilla forced a polite smile and leaned back against the bar creating some space between her and the girl she had been mostly ignoring.  She took another drink and let the girl continue to talk for a moment before she decided she was done and cut her off, "I'm sorry, you seem really nice but I'm not interested.”

“oh” was all the girl could manage, clearly upset by the rejection.

“I'm actually interested in someone else." Carmilla forced another smile and turned on her stool to face the bar again.  The other girl got the hint and walked away. 

"Wow, kitty. Harsh."

Carmilla just shot Will a look and grabbed her drink again.

“Seriously, I’m pretty sure that girl has asked you out at least a dozen times. why not give her a shot? what are you afraid of?”

“A giant hell mouth opening up and sucking me down to hell. Or a giant sea creature eating me alive. And clowns. They are creepy.” She took a big gulp of her drink.

Will just gave her a look, he was less than amused, “Come on, Carmilla. After that song I thought…” He trailed off, unsure of how far to push the subject.

She rolled her eyes, wishing he would just drop it ”I'm just being honest.  I don't want to waste my time with girls that aren't worth it."

"And this girl you're _very interested in_ , she's worth it?" Will raised an eyebrow and leaned down on the bar closer to his sister. 

"Completely." She looked him in the eye and answered him completely serious.  

Will stood, a little taken back by the sincerity in Carmilla's answer. He studied her for a second before asking, "what happened tonight?"

Carmilla let out a small laugh and took another sip of her drink, she was lost in her own thoughts, completely tuning out everything and everyone around her.

"Seriously" Will continued  "I wasn't sure you'd ever leg go of what happened with Elle enough to play that song. And the new one, was kind of incredible."

Carmilla set her drink on the bar and studied it in her hands "the stars got to shine with the sun and now they can't imagine any other way to live."

Will rolled his eyes, "Alright Shakespeare, how about a translation for us commoners"

Carmilla laughed at his response and shook her head, "she's amazing, Will. I just, don't know if I have a shot."

"You know she came here to see you, right?"

"Who?"

"Laura."

She looked up at Will shocked "How did you-"

"Please, Kitty." He rolled his eyes and started wiping down the bar, "you guys aren't subtle at all. Between your _seduction eyes_ from on stage and her _heart eyes_ watching you, it's pretty obvious."

Carmilla raised an eyebrow and was met with a smug smile from Will. She shook her head and turned around to look back at Laura. She was still sitting in the both, laughing with her friends. 

Suddenly Carmilla was on the receiving end of a very tight hug "hey Carm-sexy!" Kirsch squeezed the small girl in his arms.

Carmilla scrunched up her face "Let go of me you big oaf!" She tried to escape his embrace but he only tightened his grip. 

Without letting go of Carmilla he turned to Will, "hey bro! Can I get some more drinks for my table of hotties over there?" He nodded in the direction of the booth he had just left.

Will smiled and went to grab the drinks as Carmilla wriggled out of Kirsch's grip.  She stood up from off her stool and grabbed her drink, she gulped down the remainder of it and set the empty glass back on the bar. "Later prom king" she drawled as she walked away just as Will was bringing back Kirsch's drinks.      

\-----

**10:35pm**

Laura shot up off the seat and climbed out of the booth practically shoving Danny to the floor in the process.

“Woah, Laura, calm down! What are you doing?” Danny said trying to steady herself as the blonde pushed past her.  

“Hey, little hottie, I got you another beer” Kirsch was back, hands full of drinks.  He set them down on the table and held one out for Laura. 

“Oh thanks Kirsch, but I think I’m going to call it a night.” Laura said reaching back into the booth over Danny for her bag.  If Carmilla wasn't there anymore there was no reason for her to stay.  She blew it, might as well go home now.

“Oh, ok. But I'm supposed to tell you that Carmilla totally digs you and you should totally go for it.”

Laura's attention is immediately on Kirsch, “what?! who told you that?!” She reached out and grabbed hold of kirsch.  He was a good foot taller than she was but man, was he suddenly very intimidated by the tiny girl holding onto his shirt tightly.

“Will, the bartender. He’s my bro” He pulled a fist up to hit his chest, eliciting an eye roll from both Danny and SJ, “He just told me to tell you that.  And that if you go now you can probably catch her.”

“Eeee! Thanks Kirsch!” she pulled him down with surprising force and planted a kiss on his cheek before grabbing her bag and running for the door.

She pushed the heavy door open and ran outside.  The heat hit her like a wall as she ran along side the building.  She made her way through the rows of cars, realizing quickly she had no idea if Carmilla even drove, or if she did, what kind of car she had.  After a couple minutes of searching she let out a sigh and started walking back towards the bar. _I’m too late_.

“Laura?”

She whipped around at the sound of her name but immediately the excitement fell from her face, “hey, Danny. Sorry I kinda left you in there.”

Danny shrugged, “Its cool.  You find her?”

Laura just shook her head disappointedly and sighed “I think I’m too late”

Danny walked over to Laura and wrapped an arm around her shoulder bringing her into a side hug. “Lets take you home, ya?”

“yeah” was all she could get out.  How could she have messed it up already?  She liked this girl, _a lot_.  And she was pretty sure Carmilla liked her too.  And she missed her chance.  She was right there, and she missed it.

— —

**10:50pm**

Laura sat silently in the passenger side of Danny’s car, watching the city pass by outside the window. She couldn't believe it had only been a few hours since the elevator got stuck, and started this whole night. So much had happened in such a small amount of time. _Was she crazy to be feeling the way she was?_

“I still don't get it.” Danny broke the silence, eyes locked on the road in front of them, “I thought you said she was a terrible neighbor?”

Laura sighed and turned to look at Danny. She shifted in her seat and looked down at her hands in her lap, _how do I even explain this?_  
“Look.. I know I said she was a terrible neighbor, and kind of a terrible person sometimes and I know that one big grand gesture doesn't make up for all of that but..” she looked up at Danny with a sad expression, “but.. she’s _my_ terrible neighbor. And she made the big gesture for _me_.” She turned back to look out the window again, “It’s just, I was wrong about her.” She let out a sigh and hoped Danny would just let the rest of the ride home be silent. She wasn't sure how to explain everything to her, hell, she wasn't sure she understood it herself. But she couldn't help the way she was feeling, even if she couldn't explain it.

Danny pulled up to Laura’s apartment building and put the car in park, “Look, I can come in and hang if you want some company?”

Laura grabbed her bag and opened the door and started to climb out, “no its ok, I think I’m just going to call it a night” she forced a smile at Danny and shut the door. She walked around the car and up the sidewalk toward the door. As soon as she heard Danny drive away she turned to look back down the street on the off chance she would see Carmilla. Feeling ridiculous about the whole night she decided to call the one person who could always make her feel better. She sat down on the step just outside the front door and pulled her phone from her bag. She scrolled through her contacts, found the one she was looking for and hit call. It started to ring, she let out a big sigh and let her head drop to rest on her knee, looking at the ground and her feet.

It rang a few more time and there was no answer, it _was_ pretty late. So she left a message, “Hey dad, its me. Laura.” She rolled her eyes at herself, _who else would be calling him dad?_   “Anyway, I was just calling to say hi. Had kind of a rough night and was hoping to get one of your corny jokes to cheer me up. But its actually pretty late where you are, cause its late where I am, so you’re probably sleeping…”

As she’s leaving the message Laura hears footsteps coming towards her and keys jangling as someone goes to open the door directly behind her. She realizes she must be in the way slouched over in front of the door so she lifts her head and starts to scoot over on the step. She glances over at the person walking in the building and sees leather pants, a flannel shirt tied around a waist and a guitar case disappear through the doorway. She quickly jumps up and starts walking inside, “…anyway I have to go, but call me tomorrow if you have time. Love you, dad!” she speed finishes her message and shuts her phone quickly.

Laura shoves her phone in her pocket as she speed walks after the girl that just walked in before her, “Carmilla, wait up!” she called to the girl headed straight for the elevator. She didn't slow down though. _Crap, is she ignoring me?_

Carmilla hit the ‘up’ button for the elevator and turned around to find Laura hot on her heels.

Laura, catching up to the brunette stopped just in front of her, unsure of what to do next. She hadn't thought that far ahead and felt like an idiot just standing there staring at the girl she wanted to say so much too, but didn't know how to say it.

Carmilla reached up and tugged the headphones from her ears.

Laura smiled shyly, “hey.” _oh my gosh Laura, thats the best you got?_

——

**10:50pm**

Carmilla slowly drove her car in the direction of her apartment. She knew she was bailing on the band and Will early tonight but couldn't find it in her to care. She just wanted to go home. She couldn't really pinpoint what she was feeling. Relieved to have let go of everything she had been carrying around so long, but disappointed at how things had gone with Laura. She pulled into her parking space and put the car in park. She sat there a moment letting the AC blast her in the face as she thought back over the night and what went wrong. _Nothing_. Nothing _actually_ went wrong, that was the problem. Every sign was there that Laura reciprocated at least some kind of feelings for her— they just kept getting interrupted before anything could really be confirmed.

“Fucking amazon, ruined it.” Carmilla rolled her eyes and shut off the car. She plugged her headphones into her phone and stuck them in her ears, grabbed her guitar and headed for the front door. Walking up to the front door she spotted a familiar body, hunched over, head in her lap, _talking to herself_? As Carmilla got closer she realized she must be on the phone. She could hear her faintly over the music playing in her ears.

“…Had kind of a rough night and was hoping to get one of your corny jokes to cheer me up…”

Carmilla thought for a moment about tapping her on the shoulder or trying to talk to her but decided against it. Having been on the receiving end of unwanted interruptions that night herself, she decided to just leave her alone. She wasn't sure what she would say to her anyway. She had already pretty much put everything out there for her, _what more was there to say_?  She hesitantly walked past the blonde and fumbled with her keys trying to unlock the door. She got the door unlocked and walked inside and towards the elevator. She hit the ‘up’ button and turned around to catch one last glimpse at the blonde on the step outside, only to be met with Laura standing right behind her. She reached up and tugged the headphones from her ears, watching the blonde that stood in front of her.

“Hey.”  

“Hey.” Carmilla gave her a half smile. It wasn't the flirty, cocky grin she sometimes gave, but an honest smile, which helped calm Laura's nerves a bit.

They stood there both silent, just softly smiling at one another. It was like they both wanted to explode with words and feelings but both were too nervous to even breathe.

The ding of the elevator and the doors opening brought them back to reality and Carmilla stepped inside and turned around to look at Laura, “You in or out, cupcake?”

Laura giggled and bit her lip. That was the _exact_ same thing Carmilla had said to her the first time they saw each other. Laura raised an eyebrow and put her hand on her hip, “you’re really going to take the elevator even after what happened earlier today?”

Carmilla shrugged and gave Laura a crooked smile, “You never know, one elevator ride could change your life” she reached her hand out to grab the door to keep it from closing and motioned with her other hand for Laura to join her.

Laura shyly lowered her gaze and blushed as she stepped into the elevator and stood next to Carmilla. She nervously played with her hands as Carmilla reached across her to hit the button for their floor. The doors closed and Laura immediately looked up at the lipstick stars still on the ceiling tiles above them.

The tension in the elevator was out of control. Both girls felt like their hearts were going to explode out of their chests. Wanting to do something, say anything, but were nervous to be the first to make a move. Finally Carmilla broke the silence.

“You know _technically_ we are moving, so you could consider them shooting stars.” Carmilla glanced at the blonde still looking at the ceiling. “You should make a wish.”

Laura looked over at Carmilla and gave her a look as if to say ‘ya right’ and looked back up at the ceiling.

“Hey, I blew out your licorice candle, you can at least make a wish on my lipstick stars.” She kept her eyes locked on the blonde.

Laura laughed, that whole sentence sounded crazy, but Carmilla was right. It wouldn't hurt to make a wish, no matter how silly it seemed. She closed her eyes and made her wish. She already knew what she would wish for, she had been wishing it every second since Danny pulled her away from Carmilla earlier that night.

Laura's eyes were shut tight. She was making her wish and mentally trying to talk herself into making her move when suddenly the elevator jolted to a stop.

 _No way._ “It came true.” Laura whispered as she opened her eyes and looked around the elevator.

Carmilla looked over at her with a slightly confused look on her face, “what came true?” she asked softly, stepping a little closer to the blonde.

“You told me to make a wish so I did, but I didn't think it would actually happen.” Laura’s eyes were wide realizing the situation they were in, _again_.

“you… wished for the elevator to stop?” Carmilla asked curiously.

Realizing they were once again stuck in the elevator and remembering Carmilla's reaction earlier that night Laura was suddenly struck with concern for the girl standing in front of her, “Are you ok? I mean it looks like you’re ok…” Laura stepped back to examine the brunette and even though it was started by the elevator getting stuck again, now that Laura was actually talking it was like she couldn't stop, “And I’m sorry about earlier its just that, we were— and then Danny pulled me away, and then you were gone. And I should have came after you and I know you’re probably not even-“

Laura’s breath hitched as Carmilla stepped closer to her, closing the gap between them, her eyes locked intently on Laura's. Laura's body froze, but once again her nerves caused her to keep spilling words out of her mouth, “-still interested, even though you sang those songs, its just that..” her worlds slowly grew quieter until she was actually able to stop speaking. Or more like her brain was on overdrive from how close Carmilla was to her that she stopped being able to form actual thoughts. All she could do was look at the beautiful girl standing inches away from her.

Carmilla watched Laura as she starting ranting but decided she was tired of waiting for the right moment. She stepped closer to Laura and looked down at her lips as she talked. Suddenly Laura wasn't talking anymore. Carmilla's eyes were still locked on the blondes lips, she took a breathe and reached up and placed her hands on either side of Laura’s face and leaned in. Laura’s eyes fluttered shut and her hands came up to grasp Carmilla's back as their lips gently came together.

Laura's hands slowly trailed down Carmilla's arms as they kissed, coming to rest on her elbows, her body slowly relaxing into it. They broke apart and took a second to look at each other.

Carmilla’s hands were still cupping Laura’s face as Laura dropped her hands to move them around as she suddenly continued her rant from before, “..and I know you didn't do everything for me but I just-“

She was cut off as Carmilla brought their lips together again. She couldn't help but smile in to the kiss. _This girl was ridiculous_.

Laura, once again let her hands grab onto the brunette, pulling their bodies closer together. Carmilla’s smile forced them to break apart, she looked at her for a second and leaned down towards the blonde once again, Laura giggling as their lips connected once more.

Laura reached her hand up and tangled her fingers in the brunettes hair while she deepened the kiss. Carmilla kept her hold of Laura’s face as she bit the blondes lip and sucked it between her own. Laura couldn't help the low moan that escaped her throat as Carmilla pushed Laura back against the elevator wall, pressing their bodies together. It was like all the tension that had built up over the course of the night was finally erupting and they couldn't help themselves.

Carmilla moved her hands down to hold tightly to Laura’s waist, finding the hem of her shirt she slowly lifted it to tuck her hands underneath the fabric. She dragged her fingers up Laura's sides and around to scratch up and down her back. Laura's hands held tightly to Carmilla, one tangled in her hair and the other gripping firm on her back, pulling her tightly against her own body. Carmilla pulled away from the blonde and started trailing kisses along her jaw line, down her neck to her collarbone. Laura's breathing picked up and Carmilla nipped at the base of her neck and sucked lightly on her skin. The quick rise and fall of Laura's chest spurred Carmilla on and she lifted the girls shirt, bent down and started placing a line of kisses down her stomach. She could feel the girls body react as she moved lower down the girls torso. She took a second to smile up at Laura who had one hand still tangled in the brunettes hair and the other gripping tightly to the railing along the wall.

Laura quickly let go of the railing and grabbed at Carmilla's shoulder, pulling her up into another deep kiss. Laura wrapped her arms around Carmilla's neck while they kissed, Carmilla pushing her body tightly against Laura's, pinning her to the wall. Carmilla created enough space between their hips for her to reach down and unbutton Laura's pants, earning a quiet gasp from the blonde. Carmilla, noticing the reaction pulled away from Laura to look her in the eyes. The blonde stared back at her, both girls panting, out of breathe and obviously turned on. Laura just stared at Carmilla, the gorgeous girl currently in her arms. her dark eyes were full of lust, but there was more than that.. it wasn't just about lust, there was something else there, something real, like she was everything Carmilla had been looking for. She saw the caring expression on Carmilla's face, and knew Carmilla was everything she had been looking for, too.

Carmilla was still waiting for reassurance from Laura that this is what she wanted. She was more nervous than she was letting on and if she was being honest, as much as she wanted Laura right in this moment, she would wait as long as she had to, to be with this girl.

Laura quickly pulled Carmilla back against her and kissed her again gently. She suddenly didn't feel the need to rush this. She had an overwhelming feeling that they had an eternity get to know every part of each other, and she wanted to enjoy every second of it.

They kissed gently, then more passionate. Laura grabbed hold of Carmilla and turned them around so the brunette was the one now pinned against the wall. She brought their bodies together, grinding against her in a slow rhythm, Carmilla's hands touching Laura like they were trying desperately to touch all of her at once. Laura kissed Carmilla hard, causing her to let out a low moan. The blonde feeling like she needed more of Carmilla and needed her immediately, grabbed one of the brunettes hands and guided it to the front of her body, she pressed it up against her stomach and started to push it lower down her torso. Immediately understanding, Carmilla slid her hand down to the pants she had previously unbuttoned and slowed lowered her hand under the waistline. They were getting lost in the moment again when suddenly Laura’s phone started to ring.

Laura quickly pulled away from Carmilla, startled at the abrupt noise.

“you’ve got to be kidding me!” Carmilla growled as she let her head fall back against the wall with a ‘thud’ and let go of Laura, dropping her arms to her sides dramatically.

Laura couldn't help the giggle that escaped and she quickly covered her mouth with her hand to try and stifle the laugh at the clearly flustered brunette in front of her. After the night they had been having, she was surprised they went uninterrupted as long as they did.

Carmilla looked pointedly at Laura, her face was flush, hair disheveled, chest rising and falling quickly still out of breath from their recent ‘activities’.  She was trying to fight a smile but was doing a poor job of it, “its really not funny, cupcake. You cant just get a girl going like that and think you can just suddenly stop..” she licked her lips and stepped forward to grab Laura, once again pulling her into a kiss.

Laura giggled and pulled away from her slowly, “Carm wait-“ she was cut off by another kiss, “what if its-“ and another, “important?” and another. “just let me-“ she gave carmilla another peck as she reached down to grab her phone that was still ringing in her pocket.

Carmilla shook her head and kissed the blonde again, “no” is all she said before kissing her again.

“carmmm” Laura dragged it out like she was pleading with the girl that clearly did not want to stop kissing her.

“Maybe I don't feel like sharing you right now.” She started placing kisses down Laura's jaw line as Laura flipped open her phone and put it to her ear.

“hello?” she said shakily, trying to keep her composure as Carmilla trailed her tongue down her neck. “Oh! Perry!” Laura exclaimed as she pushed the brunette off of her playfully and bunched up her face at her.

Carmilla rolled her eyes and leaned back against the wall, shaking her head, “what do the ginger twins want now?”

“What do you mean you can see us?!” Laura's eyes go wide with shock and she whips her head to look at Carmilla, her cheeks turning red with embarrassment. “Im so sorry! I assumed that since the power went out-“ she paused, looking more and more embarrassed by the second. “the security cameras, of course..” she looked at Carmilla and noticed the brunette smirking at her smugly. “What do you mean the power isn't out?” Then it donned on her that the lights were still on above them. Her mouth dropped wide at Carmilla, who let out a laugh.

Laura was still holding the phone to her ear, getting a good talking to from Perry, when Carmilla pushed herself lazily off the wall and stepped towards the buttons near the door. Laura watched her as she pushed in the ‘emergency stop’ button that had been pulled out and activated. Carmilla had decided earlier she didn't want to miss another opportunity with this girl and while Laura had her eyes closed making her wish on the fake stars above them, she had pulled out the emergency stop lever, halting the elevator between floors.

Carmilla turned and winked at Laura as the elevator began moving again. Laura shook her head and gave Carmilla a look of disbelief. The elevator was quickly at their floor and the doors opened wide, allowing the girls to exit. Laura ended her phone call, apologizing profusely to Perry for their actions, her face still red at the thought of being seen on the camera. As soon as she shut her phone she reached out and slapped Carmilla's arm, “I cant believe you!”

Carmilla laughed, “What? Don’t act like you didn't enjoy it.” she said with a cocky grin.

Laura shook her head at the brunette, trying to hold back a smile. Carmilla was right though, cameras or not, Laura was _definitely_ enjoying herself before they were interrupted, _again_. Before she could second guess herself, Laura reached out and grabbed Carmilla's hand, interlocking their fingers and tugged the girl towards her. She planted a bruising kiss on the brunette before turning and walking quickly in the direction of her apartment door, dragging Carmilla along with her. They got to Laura's door and Carmilla wrapped an arm around the front of Laura's body, holding her across the stomach, pressing her own body against the back of Lauras. She reached up with her free hand and pulled Laura's hair back and pushed it over one of her shoulders, exposing her neck. She started placing kisses on Laura's neck and shoulder from behind as Laura tried to get her keys in the door.

As soon as the keys were in the lock, Laura turned the handle and pushed the door open at the same time that Carmilla gripped her waist and twisted her around to face her. She leaned in connecting her lips with Laura's once more as they stumbled slowly over the threshold into the doorway of Laura's apartment, keys still hanging in the lock. Carmilla pressed Laura’s body against the doorframe, her hands gripping the wall on either side of Laura, kissing her hard. Laura's hands wrapped around to Carmilla's back and pulled her tightly against her own body. After a moment Laura couldn't help the smile that started to form on her lips, causing their kiss to break apart.

Carmilla just looked at Laura, they faces inches away. Laura suddenly feeling shy at Carmilla's intense stare broke the silence.

“hey.” she blushed and dropped her gaze downwards, her hands still gripping the brunette pressed against her.

“hey” Carmilla smiled back at her.

Carmilla forced herself to create some space between her and the blonde she had pressed up against the doorway. She took a step back and leaned her back against the opposite side of the door frame, sliding her hands into her pockets. She took a deep breathe and let it out slowly. As angry as she was at the time, it was probably a good thing Perry had interrupted them.

Carmilla _really_ liked this girl and she didn't want to screw it up. She didn't want Laura to think it was just about sex, because it wasn't. Of course she was physically drawn to her, she was gorgeous, and every time they touched it was like her skin was on fire, like she was touching the sun. When they kissed it felt like she had found water after being lost in the desert for weeks- it was a miracle, and even if it meant drowning, she never wanted to stop kissing her.  But there was so much more to it than that. _And Laura deserved more_.

Laura pouted at the sudden distance, but kept her eyes locked on the brunette. She looked Carmilla up and down before biting her lip and looking into her apartment, “do you.. want to come in?” she asked nervously. _You would think after what happened- or almost happened, in the elevator she wouldn't be this nervous_.

Carmilla slowly turned her head to look into Laura’s apartment then back at the blonde. She didn't respond right away but instead just gave her a crooked smile. She was about to reply when the lights in the hallway flickered then shut off, leaving them in the dark once again- "This has to be some kind of ridiculous record" Carmilla sighed.

Laura giggled, then suddenly had a thought, "actually, wait here!" She pushed herself off the doorframe and disappeared into her dark apartment "I have a better idea.”

Carmilla kept her position in the doorway and could hear Laura moving around in the dark, sounds of her tripping over furniture and a quiet "ouch" came from the dark room as she no doubt ran into something while she did whatever it was she was doing. A few seconds later Laura was back standing in front of Carmilla with something bunched up under one of her arms, she flipped on a small flashlight and held it up so Carmilla could see her face in the light. "come with me" she smiled at the brunette who was silently watching her and reached forward to find her hand. She pulled her into the hallway, shut the door and started leading the brunette down the hall in the dark.

Carmilla readjusted their hands, interlocking their fingers, as they walked down the dark hallway. "Cupcake, where are you taking me?"  

In all honesty Carmilla didn't actually care where they were going. As long as they were going together, she would have followed Laura anywhere.

Laura held on tighter to Carmilla's hand and pulled her as close to her as she could without making them trip over one another, "you'll see" she smiled back at Carmilla.

_That smile... who needed electricity with a smile that bright?_

 


	8. Star gazing and sunsets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A night spent on the roof and a morning spent...?

**11:20pm**

Laura led Carmilla down to the end of the dark hallway and pulled open the door to the stairwell. She pulled Carmilla through the doorway and started up the stairs, practically running because of her excitement. Carmilla definitely wasn't moving quite as fast the the tiny ball of energy that was Laura.

“Slow down cutie, I cant see where I’m stepping and I’d rather not trip and break my neck.” Carmilla tugged on the blondes hand that was still gripped in her own, trying to slow her down as they continued to make their way up the stairs.

The tiny flashlight Laura had grabbed was probably saving their lives- the stairwell was pitch black and lets face it, Laura wasn't the most graceful person on the planet. By the time they were going up the 3rd flight of stairs Laura had finally slowed her speed.

“You’re lucky I like you cupcake, because I don't exert this much energy for just anyone.” Carmilla huffed as she looked up at the blonde in front of her. She decided she needed to start working out more. But she also decided she _really_ liked the view she had at the moment.

“We are almost there, I promise.” Laura tugged on Carmilla's hand, picking up her speed again as they got closer to their destination. They reached the top of the stairs, Laura flipped off the flashlight and tucked it into her back pocket then reached forward and pushed hard on the heavy door in front of them. She pulled Carmilla through the door and let go of her hand.

Carmilla looked around and realized where they were. _The roof? But why would she—_ she turned around to look for Laura, she had lost track of her as soon as she let go of her hand. She saw her near the edge of the building, throwing out a blanket on the ground and smoothing out the edges. Carmilla couldn't help but smile at the girl meticulously laying out the blanket, she had even brought a pillow and was placing it near the edge of the fabric. _It was yellow_.

Laura stood up straight after getting the blanket to lay just right and placing the pillow on top of it, she opened up her arms and gestured to the scene she had just created, “well?” she lifted her shoulders in a shrug and looked to Carmilla, a nervous expression mixed with one of excitement on her face.

Carmilla tried to hide her smile, the corners of her mouth barely turning up as she tried to keep her expression neutral. She walked over to the blonde and reached out to grab her hands. She slowly played with Laura's fingers, her eyes watching their hands as she spoke quietly, “and what’s this?”

Her bangs fell over her eyes and the light from the moon made everything about her glow. She was gorgeous, and the way she delicately brushed over Laura's fingers with her own made Laura’s whole body shiver. Laura let out a shaky breathe, her eyes locked on Carmilla, “I thought maybe it was my turn for a romantic gesture..” she trailed off, her words already a whisper when she started talking. “With the power out I thought it would be a good time to do some real star gazing.”

She was right. With the power out there were only a few lights glowing throughout the city- no doubt from back up generators and emergency lights set up for situations like this. But for the most part, LA was dark. And the stars were brighter than whatever low light came from below them.

Carmilla looked up at her through her bangs and smiled. It was the most honest and pure smile Laura had ever seen, her heart jumped at how beautiful it was.

“It’s perfect.” Carmilla reached up and cupped Laura's face, she ran her thumb along her cheek and slowly leaned in to kiss her.

There was so much behind every kiss— It always felt heavy, but in the most comforting way possible. Laura could feel that every kiss meant something, that every time their lips came together Carmilla was giving her a piece of herself.

Their lips broke apart, Carmilla still caressing Laura’s face with her thumb.  They shared a moment just looking into each other eyes before Laura reached up to grab one of Carmilla's hands still resting on her face. 

"Dance with me?" She asked as she intertwined their finger and lifted her other arm to wrap loosely around Carmilla's shoulder and neck. 

Carmilla smiled and placed her free hand on the small of Laura's back and pulled her in close. She immediately started humming ‘their song’ as she slowly started leading Laura in a waltz.  They danced on the roof under the stars, the sounds of the city below them disappearing as they got lost in their own world together. They waltzed for a good while, until Laura wrapped both arms around Carmilla's neck. It was then that Carmilla wrapped both her arms around the blondes waist and they mostly swayed together. Laura’s head resting on Carmilla's shoulder and Carmilla’s head leaning gently against Laura’s. After a while of swaying silently together, Laura let out a yawn and buried her face into the the crook of Carmilla’s neck.

“Getting tired already, sweetheart? The night is just getting started.” Carmilla whispered into the blondes ear.

“I’m not nocturnal like you are” she yawned again, followed by a giggle.

Carmilla couldn't help but smile at her, _she was the most adorable person she had ever met_.

Laura let her arms drop from Carmilla's shoulders and she grabbed hold of her hand. She stepped over onto the blanket and tugged Carmilla's hand, pulling her down on the blanket with her. They slowly lowered themselves onto their backs, placing the yellow pillow beneath both their heads as they lay side by side, their fingers still interlocked between them.

Laura looked up, watching the sky. She tried to find the constellations Carmilla had drawn in the elevator and found ones she had already known about. She took a deep breath and whispered, “It’s beautiful.”

“I know.” Carmilla however, hadn't taken her eyes of the blonde next to her since they had laid down.

Laura smiled shyly and turned her head to look at Carmilla, “who’s staring now?” she whispered.

Carmilla just smiled at her, and didn't speak. Her eyes were soft and she just watched the girl next to her. They laid like that for what seemed like forever, just looking at each other, neither breaking the silence. Carmilla let go of Laura's hand and lifted her arm, with her other hand she reached over and tugged Laura closer to her. Laura immediately snuggled into Carmilla's side as the brunette slid her lifted arm underneath her and wrapped it around her body, pulling her in close. Laura let her head rest on Carmilla in the space between her shoulder and chest and let her arm lay across Carmilla’s stomach.

With the arm placed under Laura, Carmilla lifted her hand to stroke the blondes hair, brushing her fingers gently through it. Her other arm laying across her body, holding the arm Laura had laying over her stomach, pulling her in close. Laura let her eyes flutter shut at the comforting strokes through her hair and let out a sigh, relaxing into Carmilla's embrace.

“Carm?” she whispered between deep relaxed, sleepy breathes.

“hmm?” Carmilla hummed in response, looking down at the girl in her arms.

“I feel like I’ve known you forever.” she sighed, “is that crazy?”

“Getting stuck in an elevator with a person for hours can have that effect, cutie” She chuckled.

Laura just smiled.

 _God, that smile_. Carmilla watched her for a moment then broke the silence again, “Laura?”

_Laura._

She would never admit it but Laura kind of loved the pet names Carmilla always seemed to use, but more than anything else, she loved the way she said her name. She opened her eyes and tilted her head up to look at the brunette she was so comfortably pressed up against, “yeah?”

Carmilla's eyes narrowed and Laura could tell she was honestly stuck on a thought, “what did you wish for in the elevator?”

Laura let out a small laugh. She thought it was going to be something serious. She leaned away from Carmilla a bit and lifted herself to rest on one of her elbows so she was looking down at the girl laying with her under the stars. “You really want to know?” she lifted an eyebrow at the girl below her and bit her lip.

Carmilla shifted a little further away to get a better look at Laura, “I asked, didn't I?” She narrowed her eyes at the blonde, trying to read her expression.

Laura looked at her for a second before laying back down, snuggling back into Carmilla’s side and tucking her hand just under the hem of Carmilla's shirt, brushing her thumb against her skin gently.

Carmilla felt her skin tingle where Laura was slowly brushing against it and took a deep breathe and pulled the girl in to her own body tighter. She loved the way they fit together so easily, _she could lay like this forever._

“I wished for another chance.” She shut her eyes and tilted her head up to place a soft kiss on Carmilla's cheek, “I was afraid, before.” she whispered.

“Afraid?” Carmilla asked softly, brushing her thumb across the other girls arm that lazily laid over her stomach.

Laura took a deep breathe and opened her eyes to look up at Carmilla. Carmilla shifted slightly to look down at Laura, giving her complete attention.

“Yeah, I mean, you’re you and I’m me. I mean, _have you seen you_?” Laura rolled her eyes like the whole scenario was ridiculous and went full on rant mode, “You’re kind of incredible, Carm. And I was kind of an ass to you and you still did everything you did for me. And at the bar, you sang, and my gosh it was like, amazing. And then I didn't come after you when I should have cause oh my gosh I’ve wanted to kiss you practically all night and then I just let you walk away. And then you were gone but then suddenly we were back in the elevator and-“

She stopped ranting when she noticed carmilla laughing quietly. “why are you laughing?” She pouted up at the brunette.

Carmilla reached her hand up to guide Laura’s lips to her own, softly tilting her head up by her chin. She kissed her gently and slowly pulled away, “You’re ridiculous, you know that?”

Laura made the bunched up face Carmilla thought was adorable and pouted again but then quickly snuggled back into Carmilla's side.

A few minuted passed, Carmilla watching the stars while gently brushing through Laura's hair. Laura listening to Carmilla breathe, her head moving slightly with the slow rise and fall of her chest. Laura was starting to get sleepy again when she heard carmilla speak-

“you wanted to kiss me all night, huh?” A smug grin broke out on her face and she looked down at Laura.

Laura opened her eyes quickly and looked up at Carmilla and shook her head at her. Carmilla wiggled her eyebrows suggestively at the blonde, and Laura couldn't help but laugh.

“Shut up!” she half heartedly smacked Carmilla’s arm. "You literally licked chocolate off my fingers. You knew exactly what you were doing!"

"I don't know what you're talking about, cutie. I was just trying to help" Carmilla responded in the most innocent voice she could muster.

"yeah, and I'm tall enough to play professional basketball" Laura rolled her eyes and poked Carmilla in the side.

Carmilla laughed and squeezed her hand on Laura’s ribs, a particularly ticklish spot for her. She jolted and let out a yelp, “don’t you dare!” Laura shot Carmilla a look of warning as she grabbed hold of Carmilla's wrists.

“ticklish, cupcake?” Carmilla's grin turns mischievous immediately. She wiggled her fingers and started to fight the grip Laura had on her wrists, pushing her hands closer to Laura's body.

Laying on her side, Laura tried to wriggle away from Carmilla's reach, laughter bubbling inside her in anticipation as Carmilla's hands got closer to her. Carmilla suddenly jolted forward, escaping Laura's grip and started tickling her ribs. Laura squirmed and a laugh ripped through her throat, “Carm! Carm, stop!”

Carmilla's laugh burst loudly as she watched the blonde try to wriggle away from her while she continued to poke at her rips. Laura used every ounce of control she could manage and rolled herself towards Carmilla, trying to gain some leverage over the girl. She was able to roll herself on top of the brunette and quickly adjusted herself so she was straddling her. She reached up and pinned Carmilla’s arms with both of her hands. They stopped laughing immediately, both girls staring at each other, their chests heaving as they tried to catch their breath.

Carmilla's flirty grin returned, “you know cupcake, as much as I like the stars, this view is much better.”

Laura’s cheeks immediately turned pink and she shook her head at the girl underneath her. “I may have wanted to kiss you all night, but you wrote an entire song for me. So I have nothing to be embarrassed about.” she wore her own smug smile as she leaned down like she was going to kiss Carmilla. She stopped just barely before their lips touched and grinned. Carmilla leaned up to try and capture Laura’s lips, but Laura would pull back just as Carmilla would lean forward, teasing the brunette underneath her.

Carmilla's arms were still pinned under Laura’s hold, she pouted at the blonde hovering above her, “that’s cruel”

Laura leaned down so her lips were next to Carmilla's ear and whispered, “Are you done teasing me?”

Carmilla quickly freed one of her hands and grabbed Laura, pulling her off balance so she fell on top of Carmilla with a giggle.

“For now” Carmilla whispered back at Laura before leaning up to kiss her. Laura lifted her hand off Carmilla's other arm and brought it down and laced her fingers into her dark curls. Their kiss lingered until Laura pulled back a bit to take a breath, _this girl was constantly making her forget to breathe._

Carmilla smiled up at her before closing her eyes and letting her head drop back onto the yellow pillow underneath her. Laura fell back into the space at Carmilla's side that she seemed to fit perfectly in, wrapped her arm around the brunettes waist, and let her head come to rest on Carmilla's chest once again.

“your heart is beating so fast.” Laura whispered.

“really?” the corners of Carmilla's lips twisted up into the hint of a smile, her eyes still closed.

Laura tilted her head to look up at Carmilla. _She had yet to find a moment that she didn't look beautiful._

——

The electricity came back on around 2 am. _They didn't notice._ They lay tangled together on the roof of their building, taking turns watching each other slip in and out of sleep. Listening to breathing and watching the rise and fall of chests. Counting freckles and eyelashes, lightly brushing fingers across skin. Tenderly trailing fingers through soft hair and placing gentle kisses on temples and lips. Eventually they both drifted off to sleep, wrapped around one another, fitting tightly together. Like they were made to hold each other.

——

**5:47 am**

_*bzzz* *bzzz* *bzzz*_

Laura yawned and buried her face into Carmilla's neck and the dark curls spread across her yellow pillow. She adjusted herself, wrapping herself tighter around the body she was already pressed firmly against. She took a deep breathe and slowly opened her eyes, squinting at the light from the sun that had already started to rise.

_*bzzz* *bzzz* *bzzz*_

Her eyes went from squinting to blown wide when she remembered exactly where she was, and who’s body she was currently holding tight.

"oh my gosh!” she whispered, _barely,_ not wanting to wake the girl she’s practically laying on top of.

_*bzzz* *bzzz* *bzzz*_

Laura finally realizes what woke her up in the first place and reaches over to grab her phone laying on the ground next to them. Thankfully she had switched it to vibrate the night before. She tries to grab it without moving much, she's currently half way on top of Carmilla, one leg lifted and thrown over the brunettes body and Carmilla has her arms wrapped around her holding their bodies together.

She barely reaches her phone before it buzzes again and flips it open. She puts it to her ear and whispers out a groggy, “hello?” before letting out another yawn.

“Good morning! Oh no, did I wake you up? I still haven't gotten used to the time difference since you moved”

 _Daddy_.  “No dad its totally fine, whats up?” She’s still whispering and trying to sound awake at the same time. She’s failing miserably and her dad knows her well enough to know that.

“Are you sure you weren't sleeping?” he asks, already knowing the answer. “I can call back later, pumpkin.”

Carmilla stirs in her sleep, shifting her body and loosening her grip on Laura. Laura takes the opportunity to slowly escape her arms and sit up quietly next to her, all the while watching her to make sure she doesn't wake up.

“No I’m up, I promise” The sight of Carmilla sleeping next to her and remembering the night before is enough to make her heart race. She thinks she will probably skip coffee that morning.

“I just woke up to your voicemail this morning and you seemed upset so I thought I should call right away…”

Laura could hear the concern in his voice. He was always very protective of her, and she knew she was his whole world.

“..Did everything turn out ok?”

Laura looked over her shoulder at the girl sleeping on the ground behind her. Carmilla’s hair was messily spread out over Laura’s pillow, _bed head looked good on her_. Her face was relaxed, her features soft. Her lips were parted slightly and her chest rose and fell with her sleep filled breaths. Laura sighed, _she was so beautiful._

“Laura?” Her dad interrupted her thoughts.

“Yeah, yeah. Things did work out, after all. But, can I tell you about it later? You were right, I’m still kind of tired.” _She wasn’t._ She just wanted to wrap herself back into Carmilla’s arms and lay there as long as she could.

“Of course, pumpkin. Just call me later.” he chuckled, “Love you!”

Laura hung up the phone and set it back down on the ground. She turned around to look at a sleeping Carmilla again and noticed a small smile playing at her lips.

“Carm?” she barely whispered, studying the girl. “are you awake?”

Carmilla slowly took in a deep breath, and stretched her arms up above her head like a cat, “no.”  She reached out one of her hands and blindly patted along the ground until she found Laura's hand. She gripped her wrist and pulled it towards her, pulling Laura back down next to her.

Laura let out a quiet laugh and settled herself back into the space next to Carmilla, once again burying herself into her neck and wrapping herself around her. Carmilla reached up and began brushing though Laura’s hair with her fingers.

Carmilla touching her gently seems to have woken her even more than she was before and Laura couldn't hold herself back anymore. She shifted her body up so her face was level with Carmilla’s on the pillow and leaned in to kiss her.

Carmilla’s eyebrows rose at the sudden unexpected contact, but she wasted no time in kissing the blonde back. Letting her hand grip the back of Laura’s head, fingers tangled in her hair. Laura reached up to cup Carmilla's face as they kissed and Carmilla hummed into her mouth, slowing their kisses down until she was placing soft pecks on Laura’s lips every few seconds.

“You seem pretty awake to me.” Laura giggled into another kiss.

“I suddenly had a _very_ good reason to be” Her voice was still sleepy, it came out low and raspy, and sexy as hell.

They share a few more kisses, some lasting longer than others, before Laura pulled back and tucked some loose stands of hair behind Carmilla’s ear, studying her face. “you’re so beautiful”

Carmilla smiled up at her, one of her honest smiles, it lit her eyes and Laura thought she could see the stars in them as she leaned back down to capture her lips for a very, _very_ , long kiss.

——

**7:30 am**

They stayed on the roof for a while, until the heat from the sun was starting to get uncomfortable. Then they slowly gathered up their things and walked towards the door that led to the stairs. Carmilla pulled on the door and held it open, Laura walked by and grabbed hold of Carmilla’s hand as she passed her, interlocking their fingers. They started to make their way down the stairs, but instead of walking down the entire way they decided to exit the stair well and use the elevator to get to their floor.

Laura giggled as Carmilla pressed her up against the door and kissed her. The weight of their bodies opened the door and they fell through the doorway into the hall of the 5th floor, stumbling over one another, still trying to maintain their kiss but finding it rather difficult. They were interrupted by someone clearing their throat, rather loudly.

“Ehem!” Perry’s hands came down hard onto her hips, one hip jolting out to the side and a foot began tapping out an impatient beat.

Laura tried to steady herself, placing her hands on Carmilla's shoulders she pulled away slightly to see who was trying to gain their attention. At seeing the very impatient look on Perry’s face, she immediately stood up straight and separated herself from Carmilla, cheeks turning red at being caught once again. Carmilla just sighed and rolled her eyes as she followed Laura down the hallway towards an irritated Perry.

“Good morning, Perry!” Laura tried her best to sound cheerful, hoping it would rub off on the fiery red head that was clearly not in a good mood.

“It most definitely is morning. As far as good though, not quite.” She moved her hands from her hips to cross her arms over her chest. Her foot kept tapping the ground impatiently.

Laura suddenly felt like she was a child being scolded for doing something bad and lowered her gaze to the ground and nervously wiped her hands on her thighs. Carmilla, not being happy with the tone of Perry’s voice sped up and walked around Laura, standing between her and Perry and let out a laugh, “I hear a hint of jealousy in your voice ginger snap” She winked at the red head and gave her a smug look.

Perry’s eyes went wide and her arms came down forcefully to her sides, her mouth dropping open in surprise. Laf, having impeccable timing, came around the corner, “Alright Per, that was the last one” They looked up and saw the group of girls with expressions ranging from annoyance to bashfulness to anger on their faces, “hi guys, what are you doing up here?” They said as they approached the group trying to figure out what exactly was going on.

Laura quickly stepped up next to Carmilla and grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze, a silent plea for her to just let it go. “We were..” she looked over at Carmilla hesitantly, not sure what to say to keep them out of trouble. Or out of more trouble than what they might already be in.

Carmilla cleared her throat and took her attention off of perry to look at Laf, relaxing immediately at the feel of Laura's hand in hers. She finished Laura’s attempt at getting them out of possible trouble, “We were headed to breakfast. We would invite you to join, but you look much too busy.” She nodded in Laf’s direction and the roll of duct tape in their hand.

“oh right, this.” they lifted the tape and gave a knowing grin to the pair holding hands in front of them, “Perry wanted me to tape signs on the elevator doors explaining it was out of service today.” they cleared their throat in an attempt to stifle a laugh, “She wants to have it cleaned. For some reason.” They wiggled their eyebrows at Carmilla.

“oh my god” Laura lifted a hand to cover her mouth and hid her face in Carmilla's shoulder, her entire face turning red.

Carmilla let out a big laugh and gave Laf a nod before turning around and tugging Laura with her back in the direction the stair well. She opened the door and pushed Laura through the door. It started to shut and an exchange between Laf and perry slowly faded out—

“Come on Per, its funny!” Laf says with a chuckle.

Followed by a flustered huff from Perry, “Let’s just go get the clorox wipes.”

Once in the stairwell, Carmilla caught up to Laura and stopped her on the stairs. She was standing a step above her, looking down at the blonde. She reached out to tuck some stray hair behind her ear.

“so.” Carmilla raised an eyebrow, “breakfast?”

Laura reached up and took hold of Carmilla's tank top and pulled down on the fabric, causing the brunette to bend down towards her. She pulled her into a deep kiss, Carmilla slowly stepping down to share the step Laura was on without breaking their lips apart. She reached her arms around Laura’s waist, holding her tight against her.

Laura couldn't help but smile into the kiss, pulling her lips a breathe away from Carmilla's, “breakfast sounds perfect” she whispered, her lips brushing Carmilla's as she spoke.

“God, you don't even know what you do to me, do you?” Carmilla sighed.

Laura giggled and pulled herself away from Carmilla and started down the stairs quickly. Carmilla stood on the step, flustered and completely lost in the girl she was watching practically skip down the stairs. Laura turned and smiled up at Carmilla.

_That smile._

Laura had said it the night before, it felt like they had known each other forever.

 _Maybe they had_.

Maybe they had met in hundreds of lives before this one. Whether they were the same or different people in all those lives, Carmilla knew she would have always found a way to Laura. Because no matter what Carmilla did or didn't believe in, she knew, this was magic. It had to be fate. She had felt what it was like to be with the sun, and now she couldn't imagine any other way to live.

——

**One month after the blackout**

**5:20pm**

“Just a minute!!” Laura yelled from her bedroom at the sound of knocking at her front door. She had just gotten home from work and was changing her clothes when the first knock came. She hopped on one foot as she pulled the other foot through the leg of her pants. She stumbled towards the door, trying to finish getting her pants up and buttoned before she opened the door.

“Hey, sorr-“ She was cut off with a hard kiss. She giggled and pulled away, “You’re early.” She turned and walked back into her apartment, leaving the door open.

“I just couldn't wait any longer to see you, cupcake” Carmilla leaned lazily against the door frame and looked Laura up and down as she walked away from her.

Laura returned a minute later with her hair pulled up in a ponytail, a tank top and jeans with the cuffs rolled up. She grabbed her keys off the counter and stopped in the doorway in front of Carmilla. “Are you going to tell me what we are doing tonight?”

“I would if I could, cutie. But with you looking like that, I’ve completely forgotten everything I’ve ever known.” She gave Laura a wink and leaned in to capture her lips again.

Laura rolled her eyes, “oh please” she tried to hold back the smile she could feel forming and reached out to take hold of Carmilla's hand. Carmilla happily accepted Laura’s hand in her own and pulled her through the doorway and started to lead her down the hall. They stepped into the elevator and both immediately looked up at the ceiling tiles.

Perry had cleaned the lipstick off of them the morning after the blackout- she really did do a good job of cleaning that morning. But Carmilla had snuck back in a couple nights after that and had used a permanent marker to recreate the constellations she had drawn the night she was stuck in there with Laura.

Perry was furious. Laf had told Carmilla and Laura later that the security tape of when the ‘graffiti’ happened had mysteriously disappeared.

The elevator doors opened and Laura looked at Carmilla confused. They weren't at the lobby.

“This is the part where you close your eyes and trust me, cupcake”

Laura narrowed her eyes at the brunette and considered the possibilities of how this could go. Without a word she closed her eyes and lifted her free hand to cover them. Carmilla squeezed Laura’s hand and led her out of the elevator. They walked down the hall together to the door marked ‘Roof Access’ and made their way through the door and up the stairs, Laura tripping only a couple times. When they reached the door that led to the roof, Carmilla turned to face Laura and reached up to cup her face. She took a deep breathe and leaned in to capture her lips. Laura smiled into the unexpected kiss, her eyes still closed and hand still covering them.

“Will you tell me whats going on yet?”

Carmilla just chuckled nervously. _Why was she so nervous?_

“Come on, I will make it worth your while?” Laura pleaded playfully earning a smile and raised eyebrow from Carmilla.

“Well..” Carmilla pushed open the door in front of them and tugged at the hand Laura was holding over her eyes, prompting her to open them.

Laura lowered her hand and opened one eye to peek at Carmilla. She giggled and opened the other one, eyes locked on the brunette. She took a second to take in the smile that was on Carmilla's face. It was shy and nervous, but she was probably the most excited she had ever seen her. She looked around and realized where they were. _The roof_. The roof where she’s pretty sure she had fallen in love with Carmilla the night of the blackout.

“Carm..” She breathed out, taking in the scene, “Its amazing.” She stepped through the doorway and out on to the roof. There were strings of white lights lining the edges, dozens of flowers set out throughout the roof top, and there was soft music playing. The entire thing left her breathless.

Carmilla stepped up behind her and wrapped her arms around Laura's waist, pressing her body against Laura's. She leaned down to place a kiss on Laura's shoulder, “you haven't even seen the best part” she whispered, her lips brushing the shell of Laura's ear, causing her whole body to shudder.

Carmilla led Laura further out onto the roof to a small table, decorated with an elegant table cloth, flowers and candles lit in the center. The table was covered with plates of different kinds of cookies, bowls of m&ms, cups filled with licorice, piles of snack cakes and other treats were spread around, filling the table. A bottle of champagne sat in a bucket of ice next to the table.

“no. way.” Laura squealed and hurried over to the table and grabbed a cookie and shoved it in her mouth, “these are so good!” she mumbled around her cookie, crumbs falling from the corner of her mouth.

Carmilla shook her head and laughed at the adorable girl in front of her, “They better be, I spent all day making them” she picked one up and took a bite.

Laura swallowed her massive cookie bite, eyes wide, “you made all these? for me?”

“Well I didn't make them for the ginger squad.” Carmilla said sarcastically as she rolled her eyes.

“You’re such a romantic.” Laura smiled wide

Carmilla pulled a face of disgust, narrowed her eyes and pointed at Laura, “you take that back”.

Laura shook her head slowly and took a step towards Carmilla, wrapping her arms around the brunettes neck, “I like it.” She gave her a gentle kiss on her cheek, “and i like you” another kiss just barely touching the corner of her mouth, “a lot” and another, landing on her soft lips.

Carmilla’s arms wrapped around Laura, pulling her close, “define, _a lot_.” she whispered, watching Laura’s lips that were just inches away from her own.

Laura could feel her heart start to race. She knew she loved Carmilla, she thinks she knew it from that first night, but that seemed crazy to her. _How could you be in love with someone after just a few hours?_ Over the last month she had asked herself that over and over. But everyday she spent with Carmilla, the more she fell for her.

Carmilla looked from Laura’s lips up to her brown eyes, her gaze intense. She reached up to tuck some hair behind Laura’s ear. A small smile started to form, her eyes growing soft, full of adoration. “Because I love you. And if you’re _a lot_ isn’t on the same level as that then—“

Laura’s hand was suddenly covering Carmilla's mouth, her eyes wide and jaw dropped. Carmilla's eyebrows came together, equally confused and entertained at the girls reaction to her declaration of love.

“you what?” Laura whispered, her eyes locked onto Carmilla's, like she was searching for something, trying to read her.

Carmilla smiled wide “do you want me to answer that with my mouth covered or..?” she mumbled underneath Laura’s hand that was still covering her mouth.

Laura pulled her hand back abruptly, still staring at Carmilla.

Carmilla looked at her for a moment, before speaking softly, “Laura.”

_Laura._

“I love you.” Her smile bashful, her eyes focused on Laura, trying to convey just how much she actually loves her while nervously waiting for a response.

 _She loves me_.

Laura was speechless, for probably the first time _ever_ in her life. She couldn't believe that this beautiful, kind, frustrating, incredible girl could be in love with _her_.

Carmilla’s expression slowly changed the longer Laura was speechless. Growing more nervous by the second, she started to worry that maybe it was too soon, maybe Laura didn't feel the same way, maybe she was screwing this whole thing up-

Her thoughts were interrupted by Laura’s hand grabbing her face and pulling her down into a hard kiss. It didn't last long, Laura couldn't hold back the giant smile forming.

“I love you too, Carm.” she giggled and smiled into another kiss.

Carmilla’s body immediately relaxed, melting into the blonde kissing her. They stood there, kissing and holding tightly to one another in the familiar spot on the roof, as the sun started to set.

Before the sun was completely down, Carmilla led Laura to the blankets and pillows laid out on the ground. Carmilla leaned her head back against Laura’s yellow pillow, Laura snuggling into her side like they had done so many nights since that first one. _Fitting perfectly_.

They watched the sun setting— it was Carmilla's favorite time of day. If you payed enough attention, there was a moment before the sun disappeared over the horizon that the stars began to be visible.

Like the stars, she had always thought she was destined to be in the darkness.  
_Until Laura._  
Laura was the light that rewrote her fate. Laura was the love that had changed everything.

Carmilla took a deep breathe as the sun disappeared and the world around them grew dark. She looked down at the girl in her arms and sighed. Laura looked up at her, her eyes full of love, and smiled.

 _That smile_. Carmilla thought, _the sun didn't even compare._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well thats it.. I felt like this was where it needed to end. Thank you so much for reading and all the sweet and wonderful comments!  
> It rally was so much fun to write this and get the feedback and comments from you guys, it always made my day getting them!
> 
> I'd love to write more so if you have any ideas or prompts or anything you want to send my way, please do!
> 
> tumblr: yoitsmeecass (in case you want to come say hey)
> 
> :)
> 
> JUST KIDDING!  
> I had intended on this being the last chapter but after a while decided I wanted to write more.. so theres more. but, you can always pretend this is the end if you're sick of reading. :)


	9. Early Morning Visits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its been a few months and things have been far too easy.. new people, situations and yeah..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO I had fully intended on letting chapter 8 be the end of this fic but had some ideas and decided to add to it. unless its shit, then tell me and I'll stop immediately.

**5:00 am**

*bzzz* *bzzz* *bzzz*

Carmilla threw her arm towards the bedside table, hitting her alarm with all the hatred and force her body could muster at that time in the morning. She was definitely not a morning person, but today she was making an exception.    
She took a deep breathe and slowly opened her eyes to be met with a mess of hair and a face tucked under her chin, resting on her chest. She couldn't help the smile that formed as she brought her arm back and wrapped it around Laura’s body that was pressed tightly against her own.

This is by far her favorite way to wake up— even at 5 in the morning.

She gently ran her fingers through Laura’s hair, brushing it out of her face. Laura took a deep breathe and stirred from the touch but didn't wake up. It gave Carmilla the opportunity to slowly slip out of her arms and scoot to the edge of the bed. She sat herself up and watched Laura sleeping for a moment before she remembered why she had woken up in the first place. She stood up and stretched her arms above her head while looking around her bedroom for some clothes to throw on. She threw on a t-shirt and pulled on her leather pants that were at the end of the bed. She grabbed her boots and walked quietly out of the room, shutting the door silently behind her.

Today could potentially be the worst or best day she's had in a while. She was trying not to think about it, but she was still nervous. Thinking back on the last 4 months, things had been incredible. She still couldn't believe it all started by getting stuck in the elevator with her neighbor, but she was grateful none the less. Things had moved quickly between them, but so easily at the same time. It was like it was meant to happen- saving them both from lives they didn't know they needed saving from.

Laura had been doing well at the paper and was being noticed by very important people, opening up doors she didn't even know existed. Carmilla had been writing more and more music lately and even had some labels interested— in the band or just her writing she wasn't sure yet, but things were set in place for her to find out soon enough.

She finished lacing up her boots and grabbed her keys from the counter and headed out the door. She knew she had to be quick to make it back before Laura woke up.

————

**5:03 am**

Laura felt fingers running through her hair but willed herself not to move. These moments were her favorite. Carmilla always treated her with what she could only describe as wonder. It was incredible to see the way Carmilla regarded her, like she was made of magic. She didn't quite understand how Carmilla could still look at her that way, after all this time. But it made her love her more for it.

She couldn't help the heavy sigh that escaped her lungs at the gentleness of Carmilla’s fingers and the warmth she felt from her body underneath her.

This was by far her favorite way to wake up—

Suddenly Carmilla was moving away from her and it took everything in her not to open her eyes and protest.

They had spent the night before out at the bar with Will, Danny and the rest of the gang. She knew it wasn't exactly Carmilla’s favorite thing to do- hang out with the ginger squad, as she so lovingly called them- but even still, last night she had been more distracted than usual and Laura couldn't help but worry. Maybe she just needed some time to herself. So she let Carmilla scoot away, no matter how much it tugged at her heart to feel the emptiness of the bed as she stood up.

She opened her eyes slowly when she felt Carmilla stand up and watched her stretch her arms above her head, her torso still bare from their ‘activities’ the night before. _That_ , had been a good sign. Even though she was preoccupied at the bar, she was extremely present when they had gotten back to Carmilla's place, and the night ended on a very, _very_ good note.

She shut her eyes and pretended to sleep while Carmilla quietly got dressed. Laura could hear that she was standing next to the bed, then she felt fingers gently tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and a soft kiss lingered on her temple. 

Then just as quickly, she heard Carmilla pick up her boots and she left the room.  Rolling onto her back Laura took a deep breathe and let it out slowly, listening to the muffled sounds from the other room. 

Things had been going great the last little while.  After being stuck in the elevator together, it was like the two of them couldn't get enough of each other.  Laura couldn't remember a time she was this happy.  Carmilla was playing music and being brilliant, as usual. Laura's editor had shown interest in her work and had given her the opportunity to follow a major story. Things were great.

Except... Something had been off the last few days. Carmilla just seemed distracted and no matter how Laura tried to ask about it or approach it, Carmilla was extremely good at dismissing or avoiding the subject.

Laura heard the apartment door open and shut and turned to look at the clock.

“5:10 am? Where is she going?” Laura mumbled to herself, pulling the sheet up to cover her still bare chest as she rolled to her side.  Sure, she was curious, but she was still tired and figured Carmilla would tell her when she was ready.  So she curled up, pulling the covers tightly around her, shut her eyes and let herself fall back to sleep.

——

**5:36 am**

Carmilla let out a yawn as she turned the keys in the ignition and dropped her wallet back on the seat next to her, along with the stack of papers she had just purchased. It was still far too early in the morning but she knew it was going to be worth it. She pulled out of the parking lot and made her way down the road to the coffee shop to grab some hot chocolate and a coffee before heading home.

She made her way into the apartment complex to be met by Perry standing near the front door.

“Carmilla! Good morning! How are you today?”

Carmilla groaned, technically she was awake, but she was definitely not happy about it.

“Oh, well, are you excited for the Thanksgiving celebration later this month? I’ve already started working on a menu.” Perry smiled brightly, obviously not affected by Carmilla’s tired demeanor.

“Cant wait.” Carmilla lazily replied over her shoulder as she pressed the elevator button with her elbow, her hands full of newspapers, hot chocolate and bagels.

She started feeling nervous as she stepped into the elevator, hitting the button for her floor and adjusting the pile of things in her arms. She took a deep breath and let her head fall back so she could look at the ceiling.

They had faded some, but their make shift constellations were still there. It was a nice reminder every day of how things had started, and stars had become a pretty constant thing for them over the last few months.

_— “Carm, stop it!” Laura let out a loud laugh and tried to crawl away on the grass but was stopped quickly when Carmilla grabbed a hold of her ankle and pulled her back towards her._

_“What? I’m just trying to get comfortable.” Carmilla smirked as she pulled Laura back onto the blanket and pinned her to the ground and continued to poke at the smaller girls ribs._

_Laura kept laughing while Carmilla pinned her hands down and climbed on top of her, straddling her waist. She looked up at the brunette above her and her laughed started to die down but her breathing remained heavy and erratic as the mood was quickly shifting._

_Carmilla’s eyes softened and her smirk changed to a sweet smile before she leaned down and captured Laura’s lips with her own. Carmilla let go of Laura’s hands and slid one of her own behind Laura’s head, gently gripping into her hair._

_Immediately, Laura’s hands fell to Carmilla’s waist, pulling her down tightly onto her body as she deepened the kiss. Since meeting Carmilla, star gazing had quickly become one of her favorite hobbies, even if they often got distracted and didn't actually look at the stars for very long._

_Carmilla pulled back laughing and it look Laura a second to realize why- the sprinklers had come on and the girls were already pretty drenched, having ignored them until now._

_Carmilla jumped up with a wide grin and reached down, offering Laura her hand. She pulled Laura up, and interlocking their fingers she started running towards the sprinklers instead of away from them._

_Laura giggled and lifted her free hand to shield herself from the water flying all around them as she ran behind Carmilla, “What are we doing?!” she yelled between giggles to the girl leading her further into the field._

_Carmilla pulled her to the center of the field where the majority of the water was hitting and stopped. She turned to face Laura and wrapped her arms around her waist, pulling her close. She smiled as water fell all around them, dropping on them like rain. She leaned in and kissed Laura gently before pulling back and lifting an eyebrow, “we, my dear..” She took hold of one of Laura’s hands and lifted it, placing her other hand on the small of her back, “…are dancing.”_

_This was a side of herself Carmilla was still getting used to. Something about Laura seemed to bring it out in her. Romantic, sentimental, soft, vulnerable. Whatever it was, it was reserved for moments like these. Moments when it was just her and the girl she was so incredibly in love with._

_Laura blushed and looked down at the ground as Carmilla started to lead her in a waltz through the sprinklers. Soon they were both laughing as they twirled together on the wet grass under the stars._

\- The elevator buzzed and the door opened, pulling Carmilla from her memory. She smiled as she stepped out and hurried down the hall towards her door.

Yeah, today was going to be great. She could just feel it.

——

**6:10 am**

“mmm, carm?” Laura let out a sleepy sigh and rolled to her stomach. She buried her face into the pillow and stretched out her legs that were tangled in the sheets.

“Who else is giving you early morning kisses in our bed, cupcake?” Carmilla smirked against Laura’s skin as she trailed a line of kisses between her shoulder blades. She had kicked off her boots and lifted the sheet to climb back into the bed with Laura. She let her fingertips trail down Lauras back before wrapping her arm around her front, pulling her back towards her, pressing their bodies together.

 _Our_ bed, Laura thought to herself with a smile. She took hold of Carmilla’s hand that was resting on her stomach, interlocked their fingers and sighed happily. “You’re up early today.”

“I am.” Carmilla scooted herself closer to Laura, pressing her chest against her back, moving to kiss her bare shoulder. “It’s a big day.”

Laura slowly opened her eyes, trying to figure out what she meant, “I wish i could wake up every morning like this.” She turned her head toward Carmilla, earning a gentle kiss on her cheek.

“That can be arranged, sweetheart.” Carmilla buried her face into Laura’s neck, still leaving kisses on her exposed skin.

“oh yeah?” Laura asked with a sleepy chuckle, pulling Carmilla tighter against her back, “How so?”

“Move in with me.” It came out so freely it surprised even Carmilla. She paused, holding a breathe, waiting for a reaction.

Laura laughed sleepily, “yeah, right.” She pulled the brunettes hand up to her lips and kissed her fingers.

 _Did she just laugh at me?_ “Why not?” Carmilla replied quietly, pulling back slightly. _Maybe today wasn't going to go as great as she thought._

“Wait-“ Laura let go of Carmilla’s hand and turned in the bed to face her. “Are you being serious?” She took hold of a dark curl and twisted it around her finger, watching Carmilla’s face, trying to read her expression.

Carmilla bit her lip, settling into the pillow further and nodded. Sure she came off confident most of the time, but it had always been different with Laura. She had the ability to break her completely and she gave up trying to hide that a while ago.

Laura realized Carmilla had been being serious and narrowed her eyes at her, “You’re only saying this because you haven't had your coffee yet and i’m laying naked in your bed.”

Carmilla smiled slightly and turned away from her to reach back to her bed side table, bringing a cup of hot chocolate back, handing it to Laura. “Guess again, cutie. I am actually quite adequately caffeinated.”

Laura’s eyes went wide and she pushed herself up onto her side, leaning her weight on an elbow. She took the cup from Carmilla and took a sip, still watching the brunette carefully. _Is she really serious?_

Carmilla turned back again, grabbing her own cup, then sat up and scooted back so her back was against the head board. She winked at Laura and took a sip from her cup.

“So this isn't just a spur of the moment thought? You’re being serious?” Laura was trying to hide her excitement in case Carmilla hadn't actually thought the suggestion through.

Carmilla smiled mischievously down at Laura and set her cup back down. She picked up a book that was sitting on the bedside table and tossed it onto the bed in front of Laura. “Does the fact that I’ve had this next to the bed for a week prove that i’m being serious?”

Laura sat up, pulling the sheet with her to keep herself covered and crossed her legs. She reached out and picked up the book, turning it over in her hand questioningly.

Carmilla laughed at the confused face Laura was making and nodded towards the book, “open it.”

Laura's eyebrows came together, still unsure of what to expect she started to flip through the pages. She made it halfway through the book when a key fell out from between the pages into her lap. 

She picked up the key and lifted it in front of her face to look at it. It was the key to Carmilla’s apartment. Her eyes went wide and she couldn't hold back the smile from how excited she was that Carmilla was in fact, asking her to move in with her. She lunged forward, wrapping her arms around the raven haired girls neck and locked their lips together.

Carmilla smiled into the kiss, feeling relieved at the reaction Laura was giving her to the question she had been nervous to ask all week.

“Is that a yes?” Carmilla asked, her lips brushing against Laura’s gently between kisses.

Laura pulled back and smiled, before she answered her expression turned thoughtful, “Is this why you’ve been so weird the last few days?”

Carmilla just gave her a shy smile and shrugged in response.

“Why didn't you just ask me?” she tiled her head and smiled sweetly at the dark haired girl, “Why wait?”

Carmilla raised an eyebrow, “Do you really not remember what today is?”

Laura looked confused for a second before drawing in a big breathe, “My article!” she bounced on the mattress onto her knees, clutching the sheet tightly to her chest, “Did you read it already?!” She bounced excitedly, knocking Carmilla off balance slightly as she reached over to grab the stack of papers she had gotten earlier.

“Of course not.” She dropped the stack in front of Laura with a smile, “you told me not to read it without you.”

“This is why you left so early?” Laura picked up the paper on the top of the pile and unfolded it, examining the font page. “You know I could have gotten these for free” she smiled and leaned forward to peck the brunette on the lips, “Plus, do we really need 6 copies?” she laughed and tapped the pile of papers on the bed.

“What can I say, I’m proud of my tiny journalist for making front page news.” Carmilla smiled and shifted her body and began crawling on the bed towards Laura, “in fact, I think you should let me show you how proud I am.”

Laura giggled and made a poor attempt to subdue Carmilla’s advances. It was pointless to pretend the way Carmilla kissed her neck didn't affect her, though. She slowly started to lean back onto the mattress, Carmilla slowly crawling on top of her, kissing from just below her ear, down her neck and across to her shoulder.

The pair heard the front door open and close abruptly and Carmilla let out a groan while Laura tried to suppress a laugh.

“I swear if thats Will— I don’t care if we are related, I’m going to murder him.” Carmilla mumbled as she let herself drop down onto Laura defeatedly, burying her face in the brunettes neck.

Laura shifted underneath Carmilla to make sure she was covered by the sheet as she heard the bedroom door open, which was strange. Usually Will just stood in the entry way and yelled, since the girls had gotten together he never barged into the bedroom.

“William this had better be good or you're dead” Carmilla muttered, turning her head towards the door.

“Now, Kitty Cat, is that any way to greet your big sis?”

“Mattie!” Carmilla quickly sat up and jumped off the bed and rushed towards the figure that had walked into the room, gripping her in a hug.

She was tall and beautiful, had an air of sophistication and confidence about her, she was all business and looked like she could command any room she walked into. And apparently was... Carmilla’s sister?

“Sis?” Laura whispered, gripping the sheet tighter around herself at the surprise guest. Suddenly feeling very intimidated and slightly embarrassed for her state of undress.

“When did you get into town?” Carmilla stepped back with a wide smile.

Whoever this was, was a mystery to Laura and she was doing a poor job of hiding her confusion and curiosity as she sat up slowly in Carmilla’s bed.

“Just now. And don’t you Mattie me you little monster. You left New York and practically fell of the face of the earth! I haven’t heard from you in months!” Mattie brushed a strand of hair from Carmilla’s face and gave her shoulder a playful push.

Carmilla chuckled, “Yeah I know, I’m sorry. Things have been a little.. busy.” She glanced over at Laura still sitting completely confused, and smiled warmly at her.

This brought Mattie’s attention to Laura and her smile faded immediately. She raised an eyebrow, looking the girl over and took a step towards the bed.

“Mattie, this is—“ Carmilla started but was quickly interrupted.

“Laura Hollis.” Mattie spoke sharply and both Laura and Carmilla could tell she was unhappy but weren't sure why.

She crossed her arms over her chest and lifted her chin, looking down at Laura with obvious contempt “You’re the meddling journalist that made my little trip across the country necessary."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: yoitsmeecass (in case you want to come say hey)


	10. unwanted revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find out why Mattie is here and how it involves Laura and Carmilla.
> 
> This one is kind of short but ya know.. whatever.

6:33 am

“Wait, what are you talking about?” Carmilla questioned as she stepped forward, creating a barrier between Mattie and Laura.

“How do you even know who I am?” Laura asked nervously, scooting forward to the edge of the bed, placing herself as close to Carmilla as she could without getting up.

“Research, darlings. I would assume as a reporter you've heard of the concept.” Mattie scoffed as she rolled her eyes and began to lazily look about the room. “I have a contact within he paper that was kind enough to give me a heads up about your little story, and I was able to catch the redeye last night night to get here just in time to do damage control.” She ran her finger along the edge of a picture frame, home to a picture of Carmilla and Laura. Laura smiling wide while Carmilla’s gaze was locked on the brunette, a faint smile on her face. That was how most of their pictures turned out, actually.

Carmilla turned to look at Laura with an eyebrow raised, just to be met with a shrug. Both girls were still unsure how Mattie played into all of this.

“Although, I will admit,” Mattie turned to look at Laura, folding her hands together in front of her, “I wasn't expecting to find you quite so quickly, and quite so… naked.” She looked the girl up and down before turning her attention to Carmilla. “After all the photos online of her in those God awful animal sweaters I was imagining a 3rd grade teacher more than an actual journalist. She’s definitely not the usual type to end up in your bed, kitty cat.” Mattie chuckled condescendingly.

“Alright, enough of the— why are you really here?” Carmilla asked, rolling her eyes and sitting down on the mattress next to Laura, placing her hand on the smaller girls leg over the sheet in an attempt to provide some form of comfort. She wasn't sure if it was for Laura’s benefit or her own at this point. She knew Mattie being here meant something big was going on, and she didn't know if she actually wanted to find out what it was.

“You haven't read it?” Mattie asked with disbelief, “You really should keep better tabs on your little reporter girlfriend. No doubt she's been using you for information all this time.” She lifted an eyebrow at the brunette and pressed her lips tightly together.

The dark haired girl narrowed her eyes, racking her brain trying to piece things together. “But the only thing in LA that could possibly involve both you and me would just be—“ Carmilla paused, realization spreading across her face. She let her head drop down and shook it slowly, letting out a breathe, “oh Laura, please tell me you didn’t.” She turned quickly and picked up a newspaper from off the bed, reading over the headline on the front page.

“What are you talking about? I’ve been working on this story for weeks, you know that.” Laura was still confused and it felt like the other women in the room were talking in code.

“You did.” Carmilla laughed humorlessly, “holy shit, this is bad.” She glanced over at Laura with a concerned look on her face before turning her attention back to Mattie, “Did you know this was happening?” She held the paper up for Mattie but it was quickly dismissed with a wave of a hand.

“You mean did I know the directors and executives of Morgan Industries were fraudulently concealing large losses in numerous projects and falsifying their audits?” Mattie spoke matter of factly, like these weren't major issues for a company to be facing, “That’s just poor wording, if you ask me.”

Laura’s jaw dropped at her disregard for the seriousness of the accusations and went to speak when she was cut off by a phone ringing.

Mattie began rummaging through her bag to find the phone that had brilliantly cut off Laura’s rant before it began. She pulled it out and checked the screen, “I’ll let you two have a minute.” Then she turned and walked out of the room while answering her call.

Laura started to scramble off the bed, wrapping the sheet tighter around her, “Ok, what is going on?” She asked as soon as Mattie was out of the room. She waddled over to the door and shut it quietly. “Who is that and why have I never heard of her if she's your sister?!” She was whispering and yelling at the same time while she scooted around the room, grabbing articles of clothing.

“Thats Mattie” Carmilla responded quietly, not looking up from the paper she was reading raptly.

“Carmilla.” Laura said pointedly, looking up at her as soon as she got her jeans buttoned.

Carmilla finally looked up and saw the serious and questioning expression on Laura’s face and let out a sigh. She folded the paper and set it next to her, placed her hands behind her on the bed and leaned back, “We’ve known each other forever. We were practically sisters growing up and we sort of worked together in New York. She does PR, and is extremely good at it, and we often shared clients.”

Laura seemed satisfied with this answer, “So what is she doing here if she works in New York?”

“Sounds like dealing with a client situation.” Carmilla was playing dumb, she knew exactly what Mattie was doing here, but she wasn't sure how much to reveal at this point.

“And what does that have to do with me?” Laura put her hands on her hips, “Or you?”

Carmilla stood up and took a step towards the brunette. She knew this was serious but she couldn't help but notice how adorable Laura was when she was flustered and trying to get information from her while wearing nothing but jeans and a bra.

“How about you keep getting dressed,” She placed her hands on Laura’s waist and leaned in to give her a kiss on the cheek, “And I’ll go talk with Mattie and find out.”

Laura huffed and shook her head, a small smile playing at her lips, “Fine.”  
——

6:45 am

“Of course. I’m with her now. I’ll inform her of the meeting and make sure she knows her attendance isn't optional.” Mattie was still on the phone but turned to look at Carmilla as she walked out of the bedroom and shut the door behind her.

Mattie smiled at her and leaned back against the counter. Carmilla tried to pay attention to the conversation her ‘big sis’ was having on the phone while she made her way to the bag of bagels she had left on the counter from earlier that morning. She pulled one out and began spreading cream cheese on it.

“We are both fully aware of the seriousness of the matter and I can assure you we are ready to do what it takes to remedy the situation.” Mattie held her hand up to inspect her nails as she spoke on the phone.

Carmilla knew this could get messy. One thing she was always grateful for was the fact that her and Mattie had always been on the same team when it came to situations like this in the past. She wasn't sure what was going to happen knowing that Laura was in her sights and very clearly not on the same side in this situation. She knew she would eventually have to pick a side and it terrified her. 

She was absentmindedly eating her bagel when Mattie’s voice pulled her from her thoughts.

“Looks like its going to be the two of us fixing this mess.” She said almost gleeful, “Just like old times!”

“Hmm” Carmilla hummed around her bagel, “You know I’m more of the behind the scenes person now” she added after swallowing her bite. “But I can make a call and have someone else here soon to help you out.” 

She was hoping this would satisfy Mattie but really already knew she wasn't going to get out of it that easily.

“Not a chance. They insisted you be the one to take this on.” She reached over and slipped her phone back into her bag that was sitting on the counter. “But you have until tomorrow to get things together before the strategy meeting.” She moved across the floor gracefully, poking at Carmilla and grabbing her hands, swinging them between their bodies, “Now, before we have to deal with those fuddy-duddies, How about you and I paint the town red?” It came out in a sing song voice and Carmilla couldn't help but chuckle. This was definitely the Mattie she remember and adored.

“Its been a while since we had a girls night, not since—“

“oh, don't remind me.” Carmilla cut her off with a laugh, “I was hungover for a week after our last girls night.”

“Now that, was a party!” Mattie smiled wide, “Isn’t that the night you met that little blonde girl you fell head over heels for?”

Of course this is the moment Laura decided to come walking out of the bedroom. She stopped in the doorway and leaned against the frame, not sure what else to do.

“Come on, one night out? We can have a good time and I’m sure we can find you a beautiful girl for you to bring home for the night” Mattie raised her eyebrows suggestively.

Carmilla shook her head and chuckled, “Mattie, remember Laura?” She pushed herself off the counter where she was leaning and smiled wide at Laura as she walked across the room towards her. “I already have a beautiful girl I get to come home to.” She took hold of Laura’s hand and interlocked their fingers and gave her a wink before turning to look at Mattie again. 

“Besides, do you really want to be in the same state we were after last time before your big strategy meeting?” She let her thumb run across the back of Laura’s hand, sensing the brunettes hesitation with the entire situation.

“Since when did you become the voice of reason?” Mattie pouted, reaching for her bag. “You’re probably right, anyway. I have a long list of things to do before the meeting.” She let out a sigh and straightened out her clothing, “Well then, business before pleasure. Don't even think about being late to the strategy meeting tomorrow.” She pointed her finger towards Carmilla and raised her eyebrows, giving her a stern look, before sliding her bag on her arm and turning towards the door.

“Strategy meeting? Why would you be at the strategy meeting?” Laura asked confused, turning to look at her girlfriend who was very obviously avoiding eye contact suddenly.

Mattie turned and scoffed, “Because she's their lawyer, darling.” She lifted her hand and waved her fingers at the girls, “Ta!” 

And just as quickly had she arrived, she was gone. Leaving Laura speechless and Carmilla nervous for what was going to happen as soon as Laura found her voice again.

——

7:20am

“Theres really no reason to get so worked up” Carmilla drawled as she sat down on the couch.

“Are you kidding me?! Its your family company and you never even told me!” Laura threw her arms up in frustration.

“To be fair, you wouldn't tell me anything about your article because you wanted it to be a surprise. How was I to know you were writing an expose on my families business?” 

“And you are their lawyer! How are you their lawyer? I didn't even think you did that anymore?” Laura started to pace the living room floor out of annoyance at this whole situation.

“What is it you thought I did all day while you were at work, cutie?” Carmilla raised an eyebrow and patted the cushion next to her.

Laura shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest, “Slept, played music… slept. I don’t know!” She dropped her arms at her side, “I didn't think you were running off to New York to brunch with corrupt mega millionaire clients!”

Carmilla sat back against the couch, a little disappointed Laura hadn't accepted her invitation to sit with her, “I don’t go running off to New York. Technology is a wonderful thing. Besides, I mostly just do a little research now and again, give my opinion or a new angle on a case and occasionally Skype for more serious matters. I am after all, still the owner and leading partner of the firm. Which is why they are so insistent I be at the meeting tomorrow.”

“So just to be clear, Morgan Industries is your families company?” Laura had started pacing the apartment again.

Carmilla let out a sigh and let her hand drag down her face, “Yes, cupcake, for the 10th time. Morgan Industries been owned by my family forever. My mother, as far as I know, is a silent contributor and doesn't have a say in the boards actions. None of us do, really. It’s basically just our name on the sign while a bunch of old guys run things. Not very well, from the sound of it.” She slumped further into the couch, this is not how she imagined this morning going.

“And you are the companies lawyer?” Laura stopped pacing and stood to face Carmilla.

“Sweetheart” Carmilla pleaded, reaching her hand out in Laura’s direction, “just— come here.”

Laura pouted and slowly made her way over to take Carmilla’s hand. Carmilla pulled her down to the couch next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. Laura let out a heavy sigh and leaned her head on Carmilla’s shoulder, curling up against her body.

“Lets not worry about it right this second. All this pacing is getting in the way of us celebrating your first front page story.” Camilla let her fingers drag gently through Laura’s hair before placing a kiss on the top of her head.

“Yeah, a front page story where I attacked your families company and unintentionally brought on terrifying death glares from your sister.” Laura huffed and turned to bury her face in the crook of Carmilla’s neck.

“I know Mattie, sure she's unpredictable, but I can just explain the situation at the meeting and have another lawyer come out to represent them. All we have to do is stay out of her way.” Carmilla slowly moved her arm lower, placing her hand over Laura’s ribs, “Now I do believe we were in the middle of something before all this started.” She smiled wickedly as she closed her grip around Laura’s ribs, eliciting a mixture of a scream and laugh from the brunette and she started to squirm on the couch. 

“I’m not done talking about this” Laura tried to sound serious as Carmilla climbed on top of her on the couch.

Carmilla leaned down putting her lips next to Laura’s ear and began to whisper “Oh I know. But I’m going to do everything I can to make it impossible for you to string together any form of coherent communication for the rest of the morning.” 

She took Laura’s earlobe between her teeth and sucked gently, immediately feeling proud of herself at the sound that escaped Laura’s mouth.

Yes this was something they would have to talk about. But.. not right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: yoitsmeecass (in case you want to come say hey)


	11. Sing me to sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the meeting happens.. and some other stuff.

**8:00pm**

"I never want to walk anywhere ever again" Carmilla grumbled as she dropped the arm full of shopping bags on the floor and immediately fell face first onto the couch. She pulled her legs up, stretching her body the entire length of the cushions. 

Laura followed her in and shut the apartment door behind her, "You said you were up for anything today." She set down her bundle of bags next to the others on the floor. She sat down on the edge of one of the cushions and brushed a strand of Carmilla’s hair away from her face. 

Carmilla moved her arm out to lay across Laura's lap and wrap around her waist loosely. "I thought for sure you would have wanted to stay in and pretend to watch Netflix" she looked up at Laura with a smirk and lifted the hem of her shirt enough to brush her thumb across her skin lightly.

"The night is still young." Laura replied with a sly smile. 

Carmilla shifted to her side, propping herself on her elbow and resting her head on her hand, "oh yeah?"

"Yeah" her voice was low and quiet as she slowly lowered herself towards Carmilla.  She watched as the dark haired girl let her eyes close and the corner of her lips twisted up into the hint of a smile waiting for the kiss. She stopped just before their lips touched "but first.." She whispered slowly before placing a light kiss on Carmilla’s cheek, "I want your opinion on something I got today."

Laura hopped up off the couch and started rummaging through the bags, tying to find the one she was after. 

Carmilla groaned and let her head drop back down, burying her face in the cushion. "I was there when you bought all your new clothes, cupcake. I've seen them all already." She shifted and turned her head to look at Laura, "I still don't know why you let Mattie's sweater comment get to you."

"Because, I want to look professional. But that's not what I wanted to show you." Finally finding the bag she was after she picked it up quickly and headed to the bedroom, "and this one you haven't seen yet.”

Carmilla let out a sigh and sat up on the couch, throwing her feet up onto the coffee table in front of her. She sunk back into the cushions and stretched her arms out across the back of the couch. Her head dropped back and she shut her eyes.

Mattie had been texting her all day about the meeting in the morning, and it was making her nervous that she wouldn't be able to get out of representing the company like she was hoping. She wasn't sure how she was going to tell Laura, but she was just thankful the story was over and done with and Laura could move on to the next one while she figured it out. Her mom had also tried to call but she ignored it. She wasn't sure what her mothers role was with all the chaos at the company but she didn't really care at this point. Her main focus was to get out of it and stay out of it as much as possible.

“What do you think?”

Carmilla was pulled from her thoughts and she slowly lifted her head off the back of the cushion to look at Laura, certain it would be yet another blazer or power suit, just like the million she had tried on and purchased at the mall earlier.

_She was wrong._

She immediately sat up straight, her eyes wide and jaw dropped.

Laura smiled, clearly pleased with the reaction. She pushed herself off the door frame and tried her best to walk sexily towards Carmilla. This wasn't always something she could pull off, but she was doing a pretty good job at the moment and Carmilla was still speechless.

“You look…” Carmilla slowly shook her head, keeping her eyes locked on Laura as she got closer. “..wow.”

The black silk material clung to Laura’s body in all the right ways. There were small straps over her shoulders, the cut of the material dropping low on her chest, exposing her collarbones and sinking low enough to show just enough cleavage to spark the need to see more, while still maintaining the modesty Laura was used to. It hugged her chest tightly, flowing down to her waist. A small triangle slit cut from the bottom, exposing her stomach slightly, paired with a pair of black bottoms. _Lace. Small. Hot._

Carmilla watched in awe as Laura approached her slowly. She scooted to the edge of the couch anticipating Laura finally getting to her when suddenly she changed direction and headed to the kitchen. When Laura turned away from her Carmilla couldn't help but stare. She swallowed hard as her eyes gazed on Laura’s back. The material was cut low, held together by small straps criss-crossing her back loosely, exposing almost the entire length of it.

Carmilla stood up immediately as Laura grabbed a bottle of wine off the counter and started walking back towards her.

Laura finally got to where Carmilla was standing and stepped up in front of her, letting her free hand rest on the dark haired girls hip. She pressed their bodies together and leaned in and captured her lips gently. Carmilla eagerly returned the kiss and slowly lifted her hand to slide around the back of Laura’s neck, letting her fingers grip into her hair. Laura pulled back and smiled wide, Carmilla’s eyes still closed and letting herself chase after Laura’s lips as she pulled back.

They kissed a second time, this one growing more heated. Laura let her tongue brush against Carmilla’s bottom lip, eliciting a quiet moan from the girl. Pleased with herself she pulled back again and let her hand slide from her waist to press against Carmilla’s stomach. She gently pushed Carmilla away from her as she stepped back slowly.

Carmilla watched her carefully, waiting to see what her next move was. She took a deep breath, watching Laura back away slowly, trying to calm her heart rate and not be obvious about how turned on she was.

Laura bit her bottom lip and let her hand fall off Carmilla’s stomach as she stepped further back, she turned to face the bedroom before turning to look over her shoulder. She watched as Carmilla was stuck standing in place, her jaw dropped and eyes still wide.

She smiled mischievously before quickly calling out “Race you!” then turned and giggled.. _fucking giggled_ … as she took off running towards the bedroom.

Carmilla raised an eyebrow and couldn't fight the goofy half smile forming on her face. _She fucking loved this girl._ As soon as Laura made it into the bedroom Carmilla practically jumped over the coffee table and sprinted after her.

Laura let out another giggle as Carmilla raced into the room and quickly wrapped her arms around her waist, stopping her in her attempt to run away.

“You are such a tease” Carmilla placed a kiss on Laura’s shoulder before turning her around to face her, “two can play at that game.” She pulled Laura tight against her and kissed her hard. Carmilla blindly felt for the bottle of wine in Lauras hand and once she found it, took it and quickly set it aside. She led Laura back towards the bed until her knees hit the mattress and they both fell back onto the comforter.

Carmilla adjusted herself so she was leaning on an elbow, shifting so one knee was between Laura’s legs. She lifted herself onto her knees, letting herself linger slightly above Laura, taking some of her weight off of her. She took a hand and lifted it to cup Laura’s face as she continued to kiss her. Laura’s hands gripped firmly onto Carmilla’s hips as she waisted no time shifting her body trying to find a point of friction.

Carmilla couldn't help but smile into the kiss, feeling how eager Laura was beneath her. She let her hand move gently along her skin, leaving her cheek to trail her fingers down her neck, tracing along her collar bones slowly. She moved her hand down slowly finding the curve of Laura’s breast and gently massaged into in, at the same time she dropped her hips slightly lower, shifting them just right to give Laura a tiny amount of friction.

Laura let out a wine in to their kiss and her grip grew tighter on Carmilla’s hips. She could feel the smirk in the kiss they were sharing and pulled away to look at Carmilla. Her eyes were full of lust and it made Laura want her even more. She quickly moved her hands from her waist and found the hem of Carmilla’s shirt. Gripping it tightly she pulled on the fabric, Carmilla moving her shoulders slightly to help her pull it up and over her head. Once the shirt was off, Laura tossed it on the floor and made quick work of removing her bra before pulling Carmilla back down in to a deep kiss.

Not wanting to break the kiss, Carmilla reached down to undo her own pants, fumbling slightly with the button. Her hands and her head weren't really connecting properly due to the way Laura was kissing her at the moment. Laura started to giggle and Carmilla pulled back slightly confused.

“You want some help there?” Laura bit her lip and smiled cockily at the girl above her.

Carmilla smiled, slightly embarrassed and shook her head and let out a small laugh. “You know exactly what you’re doing, don’t you?”

Laura scrunched up her nose and smiled, “Maybe.”

She leaned up slowly and kissed Carmilla, more gently than they had been before. She shifted her weight and pushed Carmilla off of her and onto the mattress before quickly moving over to straddle her. She sat up straight, looking at Carmilla beneath her and smiled.

Carmilla watched her carefully, letting her eyes trail up and down her body, taking in every inch and locking it into her memory. She moved her hands to rest on Laura’s thighs, rubbing them up and down slowly. She took a sharp breath as Laura reached for her pants and started to undo the button and zipper without breaking eye contact. They watched each other intently as Carmilla lifted her hips enough for Laura to pull her pants over them and down her legs. After getting her pants off Laura placed herself back over Carmilla, straddling her waist.

She let her hands gently drag the length of her bare stomach, leaving goosebumps on her skin following her touch. Carmilla tried to sit up in an attempt to kiss Laura but before she could get up completely Laura gently pushed her back down onto her back. Carmilla’s eyebrows came together in confusion as Laura sat up straight again and just looked at the girl underneath her. Carmilla swallowed hard when Laura gave her the most seductive look she's ever seen and lifted her arms up, gathering her hair into a ponytail.  While pulling her hair back Laura started to rock her hips into Carmilla’s, a slow rhythm that caused the girl beneath her to take in a sharp breath.

“Fuck” Carmilla absentmindedly spoke at the feeling of friction and knowing what Laura pulling her hair back meant was about to happen.

This made Laura smile wider as she pulled the hair tie from her wrist to secure her hair before leaning down and taking Carmilla’s earlobe between her teeth. She pulled gently, smiling at the sharp breathe the dark haired girl took in response, and rotated her hips against the girl below her. The friction was electrifying and immediately Carmilla could feel her heart pounding even faster than before. She took a deep breathe and and licked her lips as Laura started making her way down her body, leaving wet kisses on her skin. Her neck, her chest, her stomach, her hip bone…

A gasp followed by a low moan filled the room as Carmilla’s eyes shut tight and her head fell back onto the pillow. One hand gripped onto the sheets tightly and the other reached down to hold onto Laura’s shoulder.

——

**10:30pm**

Carmilla walked back into the bedroom carrying two bottles of water and a package of cookies. Laura sat up, bringing the sheet up to keep herself covered and scooted back against the head board. She smiled wide at the girl walking in wearing nothing but a t-shirt. She loved this Carmilla best, she thought. Messy hair, loving and slightly tired eyes, unguarded.. She was breathtaking.

Carmilla tossed a bottle of water onto the bed in front of Laura and placed the cookies on the bedside table. She opened her own bottle and took a sip before setting it next to the cookies and crawling back into bed next to Laura. She scooted close to Laura and placed her head on her lap and let out a yawn.

“If thats what I get for going shopping with you, then I think we should go every day.” She smiled playfully and nuzzled into Laura a bit more.

Laura smiled and moved her hand to drag her fingers through Carmilla’s messy curls. “How about this weekend?”

Carmilla rolled slightly so she could look up at Laura’s face while keeping her head in her lap, “You want to go shopping again this weekend?” She asked amused at the idea that Laura was taking her statement seriously.

“No.” Laura laughed and shook her head, “I mean, what if I moved in this weekend?”

Carmilla sat up quickly, turning to face the other girl, “Really?”

“I mean, if thats still ok. I wasn't sure if that was still a thing cause I know I didn't give you an actual answer this morning even though I was really excited you asked and then all the Mattie stuff happened and we just never talked about it again but I was hoping that—“

Carmilla cut her off with a kiss before pulling back and smiling. She cupped her face with a hand and brushed her thumb gently across her cheek, “This weekend is perfect.” she leaned forward kissing her quickly again.

“Yeah?” Laura smiled brightly as Carmilla laid back down.

“Yeah.”

Laura set her water down and scooted back down to lay next to Carmilla. Carmilla was on her back and turned her head so they could look at each other for a moment before Laura shifted onto her side, pressing herself against Carmilla. She wrapped an arm across her stomach, resting her head on the space between her shoulder and chest and closed her eyes as she let out a contented sigh.

Carmilla trailed her fingers up and down Laura’s arm a few times before bringing her hand up to brush gently through her hair. She knew life was somewhat messy at the moment, but Laura made it worth it. Whatever was coming their way, they could figure it out. She closed her eyes and let out a deep breathe before starting to hum quietly.

Laura could feel the vibration of Carmilla's humming through her chest and smiled. She picked up on this habit of Carmilla's fairly early in their relationship. Most of the time Carmilla didn't even notice she was doing it, at least thats what she thought, and it almost always happened just before she fell asleep. Laura recognized the song, as she usually did, and started singing the words softly along with Carmilla’s humming. Almost immediately after Laura started singing, the humming stopped. Carmilla’s breathing started to even out as she grew closer to sleep.

The humming was something Carmilla had done since she was a child. Whenever she had trouble falling asleep or had too many things running through her head, she would do it in order to clear her mind. She noticed one night while she was humming that Laura had started singing along softly and since then, she did it more frequently just to hear her sing.

She hugged Laura tighter against her body and let the sound of her singing put her to sleep.

——

-The morning of the meeting-

 

**7:10 am**

"Good morning" Laura yawned and stretched her arms above her head as she lazily walked into the kitchen.

"Morning, cupcake." Carmilla was already standing at the counter, papers spread out in front of her and a cup of coffee in her hand.  She looked up and smiled at Laura before turning to grab a cup of hot chocolate she had already made for her.  She set the cup opposite her on the counter and started gathering up the papers and placing them back into a folder.

"Have you been up long?" Laura sat down on the stool and picked up the warm cup and took a sip.

"Not really." It was only kind of a lie. Carmilla had been up for a couple hours going through the files Mattie had sent over from the office. She leaned down resting her forearms on the counter and gripped her coffee cup in her hand. 

"What's all that?" Laura nodded towards the files and took another sip of her warm drink.

"Nothing really." Carmilla shrugged and lifted her cup to her lips.  

Laura gave her a look that let her know she was definitely not satisfied with the answer she had received. 

"Mattie sent over some files and stuff for me to go over before the meeting today, that's all." She turned and opened the fridge, really just trying to busy herself and avoid looking at Laura. 

"I thought you were going to tell them you couldn't represent them?" Her voice was quiet and almost nervous as she asked. 

Carmilla drummed her fingers on the edge of the fridge door before letting out a breath and shutting it slowly. She turned around and forced herself to smile at Laura, "I know. I was just looking through the information, trying to figure out what exactly was going on." 

She walked around the counter and kissed Laura's temple gently before moving behind her and reaching her hands up to massage her shoulders gently. "I'm going to tell them today it's a conflict of interest and give them options of other lawyers at the firm." She let her hands fall slowly from Laura's shoulders and down her arms. She gave her a gentle hug from behind and placed a kiss on her neck before turning and walking towards the bedroom. 

“I’m going to jump in the shower.” Carmilla turned and lifted an eyebrow at Laura, “Care to join me?”

“I should really head back to my place and get ready for work.”

Carmilla shrugged before untying the belt on her robe and dropping it to the floor, “If you change you mind…” She trailed off as she gave Laura a wink and walked through the door to the bathroom.

“You are unbelievable” Laura shook her head and glanced at the clock on the wall. She bit her lip and looked back to the doorway Carmilla had disappeared through. She heard the water turn on and rolled her eyes at herself, “Like I’m really going to say no.” She laughed at herself as she stood up and made her way quickly to the bathroom.

——

**10:26 am**

"We've been in here for over 2 hours, I just need a minute, ok?!" Carmilla stood abruptly, shoving her chair back hard enough for it it hit the wall behind her. 

“Fine." Mattie pressed her lips together tightly and folded her hands on top of the long meeting table between them. "Let's take a short break." She glanced around the table at the rest of the board watching the two women carefully. "We will continue in 15 minutes."

With that Carmilla turned and quickly made her way out of the room, knowing all eyes were on her.  She shut the door behind her and leaned against it. Running a hand through her hair she felt like she was suffocating, she needed to get out of there. She glanced around the hallway and found the door marked for the stairs and made a beeline for it. 

After practically running up 4 flights of stairs she slammed a door open letting it crash against the wall and stepped out onto the roof.  She took a deep breath hoping it would rid her chest of the constricting feeling that had been building rapidly all morning.  

 _It didn't._  

She made her way to the edge of the building and stood overlooking the city below her. Her phone buzzed in her pocket causing her to clench her jaw. _Was there no escape?_  

She sighed and let her face relax when she saw the text was from Laura. 

_**Cupcake (10:31am):** hey babe! Since you're in the city I thought we could get lunch together? _

Carmilla’s eyebrows came together and she frowned, locking her screen and dropping her hand to her side. 

"I tried to tell you, Kitty."

Carmilla turned her head slowly to face Mattie.  She hadn't even heard her join her on the roof.  She rolled her eyes and turned back to look over the edge of the building with a sigh. 

"This is bigger than everyone thinks. I think you and I are the only ones who realize that." She stepped up next to Carmilla, her posture still tight and perfect, her air of confidence never wavering despite what she was saying. 

"I really don't think-"

"Nonsense." Mattie turned to face her. "This is family, Carmilla."

There was a moment of silence, their somber expressions conveying the agreement that this was serious.

"Laura is family too, Mattie." Carmilla tried not to let her voice waver but the words caught in her throat and she had to turn away. 

The silence surrounded them again and they stood there for what seemed like forever yet only a second at the same time. Mattie regarded Carmilla before placing a hand on her shoulder and giving it a squeeze. 

"We should get back." She spoke softly, giving off a sense of understanding and care for the first time since arriving in town.  Sure she was a major player in the business world, but she still considered Carmilla to be her sister. 

Carmilla nodded but kept her eyes on the city, Mattie took that as her cue to leave. As soon as Carmilla heard the roof door shut she lifted her phone and unlocked the screen and re-read the text.  She let out a heavy sigh as she typed out a response before shoving her phone back in her pocket and making her way back down to the conference room. 

\----

**10:26 am**

"Hollis!"

Laura twisted in her chair quickly, nearly falling over at hearing her editors voice calling her name.

"My office, 4:00. Got it?" He pointed her way and walked away not even waiting for a response. 

"4:00! Sharp! I'll be there!" She called after him excitedly. 

 _He seemed happy, so it must be something good, right?_ She turned back to her computer and opened up her emails trying to distract herself so she wouldn't over think what her editor wanted.   Her phone buzzed and she flipped it open quickly-

_**Laf (10:29 am):** me and perry are going to be in your area this afternoon. Lunch? _

_**Laura (10:29am):** absolutely! I'll invite carm! _

She opened up a new text screen and shot off a quick text to Carmilla before setting her phone down and turning back to her computer.   A little while later she got her response and smiled wide. 

_**Carm (10:40am):** lunch sounds perfect, beautiful._

——

**1:40 pm**

After being cooped up in the conference room with the entire Board, Carmilla couldn't wait to get out of there. She watched the clock impatiently, counting down the seconds until she could leave and go see Laura.

 _Laura._ She still didn't know how or what she was going to tell her.

“Lets reconvene tomorrow morning. Carmilla?” Mattie raised her eyebrows at the girl across the table.

“Right. Yes. Tomorrow morning.” She nodded in agreement and quickly started to gather her things. She quickly looked across the table at Mattie who was watching her carefully, gave her a forced smile and slipped out the door before anyone else. She was making her way down the hall, turned a corner and nearly ran over someone. She halted herself and looked to see who she had almost taken out.

“Mother?”

“Carmilla.” Her mother greeted hesitantly.

They hadn't spoken in a while and although technically her mother was a big part of the company, she hadn't been asked to join in on their strategy meeting. Carmilla thought it odd at first but dismissed it quickly as the meeting had started.

“I didn't know you would be here.” Carmilla shifted her weight on her feet. _Why was this always so awkward?_

“Yes, I, had some things to take care of here at the office.” Her mother looked her over, “How are you?”

“Good.” Carmilla nodded and shrugged.

“And Will?”

She wasn't sure why the mention of Will made her slightly angry. Maybe it was remembering how poorly she had handled the situation and how quickly Will had been to forgive her, but she tried her best to keeps things polite.

“He’s good. He’s doing a great job at the bar.” Carmilla looked around quickly before adding, “I really should get going though, I have a lunch thing.”

“Right, of course.” She nodded and stepped out of the way, “Have a good time.”

Carmilla smiled and headed for the door. As awkward as it was, it was one of the better conversations they’ve had over the last few years, and she actually seemed genuine. Maybe things could actually get better.

She made her way into town a bit more to the place Laura had told her to meet her and immediately saw her standing on the curb when she pulled up. She parked the car and jumped out quickly, making her way over to the brunette waiting for her, noticing she was staring at her.

“What?” she looked herself up and down trying to figure out what Laura was staring at as she walked up to her. “Whats wrong? What are you looking at?”

“I’ve just never seen you look so…” Laura narrowed her eyes and took a step forward, dragging her hands across Carmilla’s shoulders and down her arms, “Professional.”She gave her a half smile, “Its hot.”

Carmilla quirked an eyebrow at her, “Oh yeah? I’ll have to remember that.”

Laura shook her head and smiled as she leaned in to give Carmilla a kiss.

“Look, Laura, I have something I need to tell—“

“Well look who's out in daylight!” Laf interrupted their moment, walking up to the pair with Perry at their side.

Carmilla looked over confused then back at Laura, “Whats this?”

“oh, right, I forgot to mention they were coming.” Laura looked slightly nervous that Carmilla would bail given their new lunch companions.

“Perfect. Lunch with the ginger twins. This day just keeps getting better and better.” She rolled her eyes and walked towards the door, leaving the other three on the sidewalk.

——

“L told us you asked her to move in” Laf had managed to shove half a sandwich in their mouth and was still trying to talk while attempting to chew.

“Sweetie, you’re going to choke if you don’t take smaller bites” Perry furrowed her eyebrows and gave Laf an unimpressed look.

Laf shrugged and kept talking around the food in their mouth, “I think thats great! Totally an upgrade for Laura if you ask me. I’ve seen her apartment, its kind of sad.”

“Well of course, she does have all the nicest things.” Laura teased, shooting Laf a glare.

Carmilla just nodded and pushed her food around her plate with her fork, looking between the two.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you, my editor wants to meet with me later today. I’m hoping he’s going to give me another high profile story to work on. I think he really liked my last one.” Remembering what her last one was actually about and what had happened the day before because of it, she quickly looked over at Carmilla with a worried face but it seemed like the other girl hadn't even heard her. She was clearly miles away in her own head.

“Thats great Laura! I cant wait to read it!” Perry chimed in, sensing the slight tension at the table. Starting to feel nervous she immediately started to gather everyones plates and clear off the table. A nervous habit.

Lunch went on as normal as could be expected. Laf talking about some crazy experiment, Perry giving worried looks but trying to be supportive, Laura telling funny stories about coworkers in her office. Carmilla remained silent, offering the occasional nod or shrug but not really participating in conversation beyond that.

The check came and Carmilla checked the time on her phone. This lunch wasn't exactly what she was expecting, and she knew she needed to talk to Laura about what had happened that morning but didn't feel like spilling in front of the weasley twins. She grabbed the check and quickly threw down some cash, covering everyones meals before turning to Laura and taking her hand.

“Can I walk you back?” Her voice seemed urgent and Laura immediately noticed and gave her a nod.

Gathering their things and saying their goodbyes went quickly and the two started walking back towards Laura office. It was only a block away and wouldn't take long before they were there.

“What’s up with you?” Laura asked, reaching out to take hold of Carmilla’s hand as they walked.

“Is that really the reason why?” Carmilla asked quietly. This definitely wasn't the topic of conversation she had planned on, but suddenly it seemed to be the thing most on her mind.

“Why what?” She tugged Carmilla’s hand, bumping their shoulders together.

“The fact that I have nice things, money, being why you want to move in with me.” She looked down at the ground. She knew that wasn't really important to Laura but it still worried her. Knowing that was why Elle had been with her.

“No. No, that was— just a joke.” She stopped walking and stepped in front of Carmilla to face her. “I mean, is it a little intimidating that you own your own business and are this bad ass lawyer and could probably buy your own island if you really wanted to? Well, yeah.” She laughed and reached out to take Carmilla’s other hand.

“But thats— thats not who you are, or whats important to me.” She tilted her head, waiting for Carmilla to make eye contact. “we could live in a cardboard box for all I care, as long as we are together. ok?”

Carmilla gave her a small smile and nodded before leaning in to give her a kiss. Bringing her hand up to cup her face gently, letting the moment last.

Something inside her was telling her to cherish this moment, which worried her more than she was willing to admit.

——

**8:00 pm**

“I dont know how i’m going to tell her” She took another sip of her beer and leaned against the bar.

Will took a deep breath and set down the glass he had been cleaning. “I really dont know what to tell you, sis. You really cant get out of it?”

“No chance.” She absentmindedly started ripping the corners of her napkin, “I mean, this is big Will. Really big. Even if I could get out of it, I’m not sure I’d want to.”

“That does present a problem.” He picked up a bottle from behind him and poured them both a drink.

“I’m just glad Laura is done with the story and wont have to be involved anymore than she already is.” She picked up the glass and threw her head back, downing the drink.

“You really need to tell her.” Will threw back his own drink before making a face and hitting the glass back on the bar.

Carmilla’s phone started to buzz across the bar. She had been waiting to head from Laura for most of the afternoon. She was supposed to call after her meeting with her editor but Carmilla doubted the meeting had lasted 3 hours.

“Hey creampuff.” Carmilla greeted, trying to sound cheerful.

“Carm! Oh my gosh, where are you? I have something to tell you thats so exciting!”

“I’m at Silas with Will, you should come met us.”

“Ok, I’m on my way, but I cant wait to tell you.”

“Alright, go ahead before you explode.” She picked up her beer and went to take another drink.

“My editor loved my story so much he wants me to extend it and make it a three part piece!” She was almost screaming on the phone obviously doing a poor job of containing her excitement.

Carmilla nearly spit out the liquid in her mouth, “What?” she asked between coughs.

“Thats where i’ve been the last little bit, I wanted to get started right away and was doing some research and actually found someone on the board willing to talk with me and give me an exclusive, and I was also going to see if Mattie would be available for questions—“

“you cant be serious.” Carmilla cut her off. She wasn't angry, but more so panicked. She didn't want Laura involved in this. Especially now that she had agreed to represent the company herself.

“What do you mean?” Laura seemed shocked at Carmilla s lack of excitement.

_Just rip off the bandaid Karnstein._

“I’m representing the company.”

The line was silent except for the background noise on both ends. Carmilla wasn't sure how Laura was going to react. She had seemed pretty frustrated with the idea of Carmilla representing a company that in her eyes was corrupt. It didn't matter that  it was her families company.

“What?” Laura finally asked quietly.

Carmilla stood up and quickly walked outside. This wasn't a conversation to have in front of a bar full of people.

“I’m representing the company if this goes to trial. There are things you don’t know, and I cant just— I have to do this.” She ran her hand through her hair and sighed. “Look, we can talk more when you get here. Are you close?”

“I think—“ she paused for a moment, “I think I’m just going to go home, actually.”

 _Shit. Shit, shit, shit_.

Carmilla tried to sound calm, this isn't how she wanted this to happen. “ok, I cant meet you back at the apartment.”

“No.” Laura spoke up quickly, “I mean, I’m going to go to my home.”

_My home? What happened to our home?_

“I think you should probably do the same. I’ll talk to you later, ok?”

Carmilla was having a hard time registering what was happening. Earlier that morning Laura was ready to live in a cardboard box with her so they could be together, and now, something like this happens and she's already changed her mind?

“ok. Sure.” Carmilla finally replied and quickly heard the line go dead.

She walked back into the bar to grab her things, finished her drink and waved at Will as she headed back outside to her car.

“Go home.” she whispered to herself, watching her feet as she walked through the parking lot.

——

**8:25 pm**

She pressed the button for the elevator and waited for the doors to open. Her mind had been in a haze ever since she got off the phone with Laura and she wasn't sure what to do. She knew Laura didn't fully understand her decision but she didn't think this would be her reaction.

“go home” she whispered again as she stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for her floor.

She looked up at the ceiling tiles and stared at the drawn on constellations as the elevator moved up slowly. The doors opened on her floor and she stood there a second not wanting to step out. Not wanting to go to a home that didn't include Laura.

Making her way down the hall she stopped in front of her door and put in the key to unlock it. Pushing the door open slowly she stared inside. The lights were off, Laura wasn't there. She turned around to look at Laura’s door across the hall. Across the hall but it felt a million miles away.

She let out a breath and reached forward, shutting her apartment door and locking it again. She turned around, stepped up to Lauras door and knocked.

She waited a minute and heard Laura on the other side of the door. Suddenly she wasn't so confident about this, until the door slowly opened.

“What are you doing here, Carm?” She sounded sad, and tired and it broke Carmillas heart to think she had done that.

“You told me to go home.” She shrugged.

Her eyes were filled with concern and hope and love and Laura wanted to hug her as much as she wanted to shut the door in her face.

“I know, I meant your home.” She opened the door a little more and gestured across the hall, “you know, over there.”

Carmilla stepped forward cautiously and gave Laura a small smile, “You don’t get it. You told me to go home.”

Laura sighed, “You’re right, I don’t get it. I dont really have the energy right now, ok?”

She went to shut the door but Carmilla put her hand out stoping it before it closed.

“Laura..”

Laura kept her eyes on the ground but opened the door back up slightly.

Carmilla reached out and used her hand to tilt Laura’s chin up so she could look her in the eyes.

“ _You_ , are my home.”

Laura took in a heavy breath before opening the door up wide and stepping out and wrapping her arms around Carmilla’s neck. They stood in the doorway like that for a long time, Carmilla relieved that Laura wasn't shutting her out.

“Can we just— not talk about it tonight?” Laura hugged her tighter and buried her face into Carmilla neck.

“Of course, whatever you need.” She kissed the top of Laura’s head before letting her go and stepping into the apartment and shutting the door behind her.

It was early but it was clear neither had the energy or the desire to do much else that night so they made their way to the bedroom.

Carmilla opened her arms and let Laura slide into bed beside her, draping an arm over her stomach and nuzzling into her neck like usual. It was comforting, with everything going on, they still fit, and it still felt right.

Laura sighed and hugged tightly to Carmilla, “I love you.”

It came out a whisper and in that moment the tightness in Carmilla’s chest that had been rapidly growing throughout the day lessened somehow.

“I love you, too.” She wrapped her arms around Laura and closed her eyes.

A moment later she began to hum quietly. When Laura didn't start singing right away, something in her stomach sunk and she suddenly found it hard to swallow. She continued to hum, and even though she wasn't even close to falling asleep, she let herself start to get quieter.

Her humming was almost silent when Laura quietly started to sing.

Carmilla had no idea how much hearing Laura sing her to sleep would mean, but the sinking in her stomach disappeared and the tightness in her chest lessened even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: yoitsmeecass (in case you want to say hey)


	12. Always

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> someone might have to pick a side..  
> More Danny and Kirsch, and Laf and Perry!  
> enjoy?

**7:00am**

”Hey” her voice was raspy and thick with sleep. Having just woken up she checked the clock then looked back up at the raven haired girl watching her.

“Hey” Carmilla whispered, tracing lines up and down Laura’s arm.

“Is this going to be a regular thing? I don’t know how I feel about this new thing were you are waking up before me.” Laura teased and scooted closer to Carmilla, hugging her waist tightly.

“I kind of like it, actually. I like watching you sleep.” Tilting her head down she placed a kiss on the top of Laura’s head, “You’re very adorable when you’re dreaming.”

Laura giggled and hid her face in Carmilla’s neck. She took a deep breath and reached up to twirl a dark curl in her fingers, “I don’t know how you can be so calm.” She moved her head back far enough to look up at the girl holding her. “I mean, with all this stuff going on with your families company, knowing all the awful things that have been happening—“ She trailed off, not really sure what else to say. How could things get this messy so quickly? She was literally in charge of bringing down her girlfriends family company, while said girlfriend was determined to defend it for some reason.

Carmilla sighed and stilled the hand that had been running lines along Laura’s skin, “I just— I think there’s more to it than that.”

A silence hung between them, both knowing this was bigger than anything they had had to face in their relationship so far. The nervous energy had been building for a few days now and it lingered around them, still.

“Are we ok?” Laura asked nervously. She let go of the curl she had been twisting in her fingers and let her hand rest gently on Carmilla’s stomach. She bit her lip and looked pointedly at the wall, afraid to make eye contact and nervous for an answer to her question.

“Always.”

Her reply was so sure, so certain and absolute. This was something about Carmilla that both terrified and comforted Laura. She always seemed to sure of her decisions, she was either all in, or all out. And right now, that answer was something Laura needed to hear.

“Always.” Laura repeated quietly. Feeling some relief she sunk back into the space close to Carmilla in the bed. Without thinking she started to sing the words of the song Carmilla had been humming the night before.

The dark haired girl started tracing shapes on Laura’s back and smiled. She loved when Laura sang. It was usually only in the shower, while she was attempting to cook, or when she sang her to sleep at night. It was beautiful.

“Hey Laura?”

She stopped singing and tilted her head to look at Carmilla again, “Yeah?”

Carmilla gazed at her thoughtfully for a moment, “Can we just pretend, just for right now, that if I asked we’d run away?” She smiled warmly at her, letting her thoughts cloud out their current reality, “We’d just go. Somewhere without corrupt companies, newspaper deadlines or sisters. We’d sleep in hotel rooms and…” She took a deep breath as Laura sighed and pressed herself against her, “we’d never live in the same city twice. It would just be— you and me in love.” she threaded her fingers through Laura’s caramel hair and hugged her tighter, wishing they could make that their new reality.

Laura pulled back slightly and smiled warmly up at her, “That would me nice, wouldn't it?”

Carmilla leaned down quickly to kiss her gently. “mmhmm” she hummed against Laura’s lips.

She knew this would always be a dream. She knew it wasn't something Laura was capable of doing. She would never run away from her friends, her work, her desire to right wrongs. It wasn't who she was, and as frustrating as it was sometimes, it was one of the things Carmilla loved most about her.

Laura reached up and held to the side of Carmilla face, bringing her back in for another kiss. It was conveying everything they wanted to say but hadn’t. It was full of worry and love, nervousness and understanding. Its like they both knew things were about to change and they weren't sure if they were ready for it.

“But..” Laura pulled back slowly, “..our lives are here.” She let her hand move to rest on her stomach again. “Maybe we could be happy that way but, you know we wouldn't even be you and me anymore.”

They took deep breaths in unison, both feeling the heaviness settle around them. There was nothing more to say right now, but neither of them wanted to let go of the other. They stayed in bed, holding each other while lost in their own thoughts until the alarm sounded an hour later.

——

**6:50 pm**

“Carmilla said she wasn't really involved at this point and wouldn't be until they found out if it was actually going to trial.” Laura put her drink down on the table and slid into the booth. “Which is good I guess. I mean I still feel bad that its her families company but from the sound of it, its just their name, so it shouldn't be that bad that I’m writing the story. Right?”

“You would know better than me." Danny slid in across from her, setting her own drink down. "You didn't mention I was the one that told you about—“ 

“No, no!” Laura cut her off, “I wouldn’t, don’t worry.”

Danny sighed in relief and took a big gulp of her drink.

“Is there a reason we had to come to Silas though?” Laura asked, looking around the bar.

“Kirsch.” Danny said flatly. “I promised him I’d come to the bar with him so he wouldn't be drinking alone.”

“Hotties!” As if on cue Kirsch stumbled up to the table, “I mean, hot ladies!” He glanced at Danny for approval of his revised term.

Danny just rolled her eyes and took another drink.

“Hey Kirsch, how ya doing?” Laura asked, knowing full well Kirsch was already a few beers deep into the evening.

“I’m good!” His face turning serious, his words only slurring slightly, “D-bear has been super great since the whole, SJ dumping me and everything. She’s a real bro. you know?” He sat down in the booth next to Danny and bounced against her until she gave in and scooted over making room for him.

“Yeah, I was sorry to hear about that.” Laura gave him a sad look before taking a sip if her drink.

“Oh, its ok little L!” Kirsch perked up, “Just means I’m a bro ready to mingle. Single ready to go.” He tilted his head sideways looking like he was thinking hard about something before shrugging, “I’m just glad they changed their mind about firing me today.” He chuckled then hopped out of the booth and walked off towards a group of girls near the bar.

Danny shook her head and watched him walk away, “Gosh he’s an idiot sometimes.”

“What does he mean changed their minds about firing him?” Laura asked, gaining Danny’s attention again, “How does someone get un-fired?”

“Yeah, thats the weird thing.” Danny looked just as confused as Laura did, “Not long after I texted you about that, we all got emails saying the lay offs were an error and that we should disregard them.” She shook her head and leaned back in the booth twisting her cup in her hand, “Someone saved our asses.”

Laura sat back and glanced over at Kirsch before taking another drink. Carmilla had saved their asses, and Laura knew it.

Danny had texted her that afternoon panicked because she, Kirsch, half their department as well as dozens of others at their office had been let go out of the blue. They hadn't been given a reason or warning. Danny was afraid it was because of the information she had shared with Laura and wanted to give her a heads up in case she was in danger of a similar fate.

Laura had called Carmilla frustrated and worried and had spilled about the entire thing— leaving out the fact that Danny had shared some confidential information with her. She ranted about how she was afraid she was going to lose her job, or worse. How it was her fault her friends had lost their jobs and that she would never forgive herself.

Carmilla listened calmly and told her not to worry about it, that it would all work out, and that she shouldn't let it stress her out. Carmilla had her moments but for the most part she did a poor job of actually conveying actual feelings. She seemed so blasé about the entire thing and the phone call left Laura even more frustrated than before.

Until Danny sent her another text telling her it was a false alarm, they hadn't lost their jobs, and that she would explain later at the bar.

Laura didn't know exactly what had happened, but she was sure Carmilla had something to do with it.

“I don’t get it.” Laura pulled out her notepad from her purse and started looking over the quick notes she had been making over the last few days, “I mean I get that Morgan Industries is the ‘Parent Company’ of where you work and essentially owns the place, but all this stuff just isn't adding up.”

“What do you mean?” Danny asked curiously.

“Well, why would they make such drastic layoffs and then change their mind on the same day? And with what you told me about finding funds being given to departments that didn't actually exist— where is all that money actually going, and who's in charge of sending it there?”

Danny just shrugged her shoulders and motioned for Laura to continue.

“Plus they have been claiming losses in project that don’t even have any record of being started and their audits are being falsified.” Laura shook her head and dropped the note pad on the table, “I don’t understand why Carmilla is willing to defend them.”

She hadn't actually had anyone to talk so freely about everything with since this all began. She knew she could trust Danny since she's the one that gave her the first lead on the story to begin with. After saying it all out loud, she couldn't help but be frustrated that it seemed Carmilla was taking the opposing side when it was obvious the company in the wrong.

——

**6:50 pm**

“I thought I might find you here.”

Carmilla turned in her chair and rolled her eyes as Laf started walking towards her. “What, no ginger 2 tonight?” She asked sarcastically, turning back around and crossing her arms over her chest.

“Nah, Perry hates the roof. She doesn't do heights. Its actually rare that she even go past the 4th floor, even inside.” Laf chuckled and sat down on the other chair near the edge of the building.

They sat in silence for a moment before Laf perked up and turned to Carmilla, “Wait! Does that mean I’m ginger 1?!” They asked excitedly.

Carmilla rolled her eyes and chuckled quietly.

“Ah! A smile! And confirmation after all these years that you do indeed like me best.” Laf sat back, pleased with themselves and glanced over at Carmilla.

“Unless I list things in order of what annoys me most.” She raised an eyebrow and smirked in Lafs direction.

Laf clutched their chest and gasped mockingly, “you wound me.”

Carmilla just shook her head and shifted in her seat slightly, “Did you want something? Or are you just trying to lock in your position for most annoying?”

“I just wanted to check in, see how things are going.” They took a deep breath and tapped their knuckles on the metal table that separated them, “We’ve been friends a while now and I can tell when something is up, and I know you don’t have a ton of friends sooo..” They glanced over to gauge the reaction so far to see how much they could actually press the subject, “I just wanted you to know I’m here. If you want to talk.”

There was no response but Carmilla seemed to be thinking it over so Laf just sat back and stayed silent.

“Things are complicated.” Carmilla leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees.

“Complicated is where I live.” Laf replied giving Carmilla a reassuring smile.

They didn't always seem like good friends, but moments like this reminded Carmilla how much of a friend Laf really was.

“Things with Laura. Things with my family. Things with—“ She paused, searching for the right words, “Life.” she breathed it out slowly before going into what had happened over the last few days.

How did things get so complicated? A week ago she was playing music, in love with the most beautiful girl she has seen, her biggest worry was whether or not she wanted to get up before noon. Now she wasn't even sure how to begin to explain what was going on, or what was bothering her most.

“I mean, I left New York for Will, and ended up finding myself again in the process. I didn't think I would be back in this place where I would be fighting between choosing the life I’m living, or stepping up and doing something that would completely shake that life, possible cracking it’s foundation in the process.” She looked over at Laf who had been silent for most of her explanation.

They let out a long sigh and shook their head, “Geez Karnstein. Does it always have to be go big or go home with you?”

She laughed and slumped slightly in her chair, throwing her feet up on the edge of the building and crossing her ankles.

“Honestly, I think you already know what you’re going to do, you’re just afraid to do it.” They shrugged and threw their feet up next to Carmillas. “You’re a good person, Carmilla.”

Carmilla scoffed and shook her head, “Just because I’ve done a few good things doesn't make me a good person.” She paused and looked down at her hands in her lap, “I do good things for selfish reasons.”

“Oh balderdash!” Perry's high pitched voice startled the pair at the edge of the roof and they both jumped and turned to face her.

“Perry?” Laf asked, surprised to see her making her way out onto the roof.

“And ginger 2 makes her appearance.” Carmilla smiled at the red head making her way over, quite slowly.

“What are you doing up here? You realize this is the roof, right?” Laf asked concerned as they quickly made their way over to her.

“Of course I realize its the roof, silly!” She pressed her lips tightly together and furrowed her brow, “I thought you might like some lemon bars.” She held up the plate in her hands and tried not to look mortified as she got closer to the edge of the building. “I love what you’ve done with this space, Carmilla.” She glanced around and forced a smile.

Carmilla chuckled and sank back into her chair as she watched Laf fuss over Perry, their whispered argument being louder than they realized.

Over the last few months, her and Laura had spent so much time on the roof, it had started collecting things. Instead of bringing up blankets and pillows all the time, Carmilla had actually set up a wide hammock for them to lay in. There was a small metal table and pair of chairs, like you would find outside a coffee shop. Carmilla had promised Laura she hadn't stolen them, but also hadn't mentioned she preferred to think of it as 'long term borrowing'.

The strings of white lights were still hung along the edge of the building and some draping overhead, left from the night Carmilla told Laura she loved her for the first time. There was a cooler set to the side that they often filled with ice and grape soda when they planned on being out there for a while. It was rather nice, and had become one of Carmilla’s favorite places to be.

Carmilla glanced over as Perry sat down the plate of Lemon Bars and Laf pulled her onto their lap.

“You know you’re wrong, Carmilla.” Perry said matter of factly.

“And what is it that I’m wrong about, easy bake?” She picked up a treat from the table and took a bite.

“You are a good person.” Perry clasped her hands in her lap and glanced down at Lafontaine.

Laf just smiled and nodded, urging her to continue.

“Look, we love Laura, we really do. But sometimes she can have a very narrow view of things.”

Carmilla laughed, coming from Perry, that statement was almost too much.

“If she doesn't understand that what you’re doing is bigger than right and wrong, then thats on her.” Her voice was raising slightly, the other two weren't sure if that was because of the topic at hand or the fact that she was finally realizing she was in fact on the roof.

“Like I told brainiac over here-” She gestured with her hand towards Laf before grabbing another lemon bar, “Good things, selfish reasons.”

“Then explain Mrs Jensen.” Laf raised their eyebrows and reached for the plate on the table.

“Cat lady down the hall?” Carmilla asked, acting indifferent, “She makes me dinner when I take her shopping.”

“Really?” Perry asked exasperated.

Carmilla shrugged, “What? She makes good lasagna. Like I said, selfish reasons.”

“How about what you did for Will?” Laf was set on finding something she couldn't claim as selfish.

“That doesn't count, he’s family” she glared at them unconvincingly. “Look guys, I get what you're trying to do but its no use. I help the little old lady because I get something in return. I write the songs to get the girl, I play the game to win. I’ve never been the hero in the story and I’m afraid Laura didn't realize that until now and I’m going to disappoint her and lose her in the process.”

Perry and Laf smiled at each other. Carmilla was finally admitting to what was wrong and how she felt and that was the first step to figuring out what to do about it.

——

**9:20 pm**

Carmilla walked into her apartment and threw her keys on the counter as she headed towards the fridge. She pulled out a beer and popped the cap off and took a drink. She leaned against the counter and kicked her boots off, leaving them in the middle of the floor and walked over to the couch, letting herself fall into the cushions.

“Hey” Laura came through the doorway of the bedroom and leaned on the frame, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Hey” Carmilla sat up straight and set her beer on the coffee table, “I didn't know you were here. I thought you were out with big red?”

“yeah, we had a few drinks then called it a night. Kirsch started trying to recite Shakespeare." Laura chuckled at the memory before turning her attention back to Carmilla, "I used the key you gave me, I hope thats okay?” Laura dropped her arms and pushed herself off the frame but didn't move from her spot in the doorway.

“Of course.” Carmilla shook her head and smiled, “Thats the purpose of the key, right? I mean, you are moving in and everything.” _Why did this feel awkward? forced? what was going on?_

Laura gave her a smile but it didn't reach her eyes and Carmilla felt it.

“Can I ask you something?” She finally started making her way towards the couch.

“Anything.” Carmilla answered, patting the cushion next to her.

Laura sat down and curled up into Carmilla side, resting her head on her shoulder.

Carmilla tried to hide how relieved she was at the simple action and put her arm around the smaller girl and rubbed up and down her arm.

“Did you have anything to do with Danny and them getting their jobs back today?” She tilted her head slightly to look at Carmilla’s face.

Carmilla bit her lip and reached forward for her drink, “I may have mentioned to Mattie that the way the board was handling the layoffs could result in disastrous legal consequences and that they might want to rethink their decision before it brought more unwanted negative attention to the company.”

Laura nodded but didn't say anything. They sat there another minute, the silence feeling tense. Carmilla took sips from her beer trying to shake the nervous feeling in her gut.

“Why are you still working for them?” Laura finally huffed and pulled back slightly, “You have to see what they are doing is wrong and they are only trying to cover their own butts and—“

“Laura, don’t.” Carmilla interrupted, pulling her arm back and leaning forward, resting her elbows on her knees. She gripped her beer tightly, “There’s more to it than that. I know you think they are all corrupt, lying, thieves, but its not that black and white.” She shut her eyes and hoped Laura wouldn't push too much further. She was still trying to figure out all the details herself, she wasn't prepared to try and explain things to Laura.

Laura stood up and took a step towards the bedroom before turning around slowly, “Thank you.”

Carmilla opened her eyes and looked up at Laura. She could tell she was upset, but trying to hide it.

“For helping Danny and Kirsch.” She looked down at the floor then back up at Carmilla.

“Look—“ Carmilla sighed. She set her drink down and stood up, making her way over to Laura. She took hold of her hands and gently started playing with her fingers, “I’m still trying to figure it all out, ok? Right now I’m just a silent observer. I’m not on their side, but no matter how messed up things are, I cant just bail on family. At least not without finding out the whole story.”

Laura nodded slowly, “You’re not on their side?”

Carmilla just looked at her and shrugged. This was impossible. Family or Laura? Laura _was_ family, more family than her mother had been the last few years, so why was this so hard for her?

In an effort to drop the subject before things got worse Carmilla leaned forward and kissed Laura before pulling back and giving her a small smile.

“Why don’t we head to bed. Yeah?”

Laura just nodded, turned and led Carmilla by the hand into the bedroom.

They laid in bed for a while, both silently wishing for sleep to come, and being disappointed. The silence filled the room and weighed heavily on them. Out of habit Carmilla began to hum quietly, her mind racing too quickly to sleep. She hadn't realized she had started until, instead of singing along, Laura gave her a kiss on the cheek and turned on her side to face away from her.

Carmilla stopped humming and stared up at the ceiling. Her mind wasn't racing anymore. Instead it was stuck on one thought, repeating in her mind as she lay there, inches yet miles away from the girl she loved.

‘ _Maybe always doesn't mean forever_ ’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: yoitsmeecass (in case you want to come say hey)


	13. Romantic Gestures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura interviews Mattie, Carmilla find out some important information, JP makes an appearance.. stuff.
> 
> This chapter has a song, there is a link connected to the lyrics in the chapter, but if you want to look it up its Till I Fall Asleep - Jayme Dee 
> 
>  
> 
> Also, thanks for all the comments and notes-- it totally makes my day. you guys are awesome.

**11:50 am**

Carmilla dropped a stack of papers on the desk in front of Mattie, “Have you looked at these? Or are you just covering up this mess without caring about the details.” She stepped back and put her hands in her back pockets.

Mattie glanced at the stack of papers before looking up to Carmilla’s focused stare, “Does it matter whats going on, as long as I make it go away?”

“You were the one that pulled me into this on the basis of ‘family’.” She stepped forward again, leaning down and placing her hands on the desk, “Everything leads back to mother.” She stood up straight, eyes wide, and threw her arms out to her side, “Everything Mattie! The money, the projects, the audits—“

“Umm, am I early?”

Carmilla turned around swiftly at the familiar voice, “Cupcake?” She glanced back at Mattie who still seemed just as bored as when she had first walked in then back to Laura. “What are you doing here?”

Laura stepped further into the office and held up her note pad, “Getting a quote for my article.”

This was probably information Carmilla would have already had if they had talked at all that morning. Needless to say, since their argument, disagreement, fight?— whatever it was, the night before, things were tense.

Carmilla could feel Laura pulling away. Laura was feeling betrayed. And neither of them felt like the other was listening, but neither of them were really talking. It was a mess. How can you want so badly to fix things, but every move you make seems to only make it worse?

“Right.” Carmilla nodded and turned back to Mattie, “I guess we can talk later.”

“If you’d like.” Mattie replied calmly and stood from her desk, graceful, exuding confidence and power like always. A controlled smiled on her face, “Miss Hollis, have a seat.” She gestured for the chair on the other side of her desk then clasped her hands in front of her.

“I guess I’ll see you later.” Laura shrugged at Camilla and stepped around her to take a seat.

Carmilla watched her sit then glanced back at Mattie. She had a look on her face that Carmilla had seen before— She was in business mode and Laura was in her line of fire. Carmilla swallowed hard then turned and left the office. Part of her was worried for Laura, knowing how Mattie did things, she wasn't going to make things easy on the journalist. Another part of her actually hoped Mattie would do her job well enough to shut Laura and her quest to write this expose down swiftly. It might hurt her for a moment, but would keep her safe in the long run.

She made her way swiftly down the hallway in the large office building. She was still figuring her way around and even though she knew where she wanted to go, she didn't know how to get there yet. Another turned corner and she crashed into someone coming the opposite way. Papers flew in the air between them and the person let out a yelp mixed with a groan.

“God dammit” Carmilla groaned as she leaned down to help gather the papers strewn on the floor.

“I’m terribly sorry! I should have been watching where I was going. I was momentary distracted, I apologize.”

Carmilla looked up and raised an eyebrow, “Its fine, Jeeves. I should have been paying attention.”

“Can I assist you in finding your way?” He raised his eyebrows, hopeful for the chance to repay her for helping gather his things back up.

They both stood up once the papers were stacked and safely in his hands.

“Alright Mr Eager, I’m looking for Lilita Morgans office.”

“Oh! Of course, I was headed that direction myself. This way.” He gestured with his full arms in the direction he was headed before they had collided and smiled warmly at her. “I’m sorry, I didn't catch your name miss?” He glanced over at her bashfully as he led her down the hallway.

“Carmilla.” She answered absentmindedly, watching down the hallways, trying to piece together where exactly she was so she could find her way back again without help.

“I’m JP. Pleased to meet you.” His smile grew wider and he stopped in front of a pair of double doors, “This concludes our journey together.”

Carmilla looked up at the doors nervously. Mother always did like to be the most intimidating person in a room. No doubt she had the same idea for her office giving off the same feeling in the building. “Thank JP.” She looked over at him thoughtfully, “Can I ask, what you do here?”

“Oh, of course! I’m in IT.” His eyes lit up, “I’m basically in charge of managing and processing all the information that flows through the building. Its very stimulating.”

“Oh I bet.” Carmilla tried to stifle a laugh at the awkward and eager man in front of her, “Thanks again, geek squad.” She gave him a wink and turned back to the office and took a deep breath before pulling open the double doors and walking in.

——

**11:55 am**

“Miss Hollis. I have to say I’m a bit disappointed about the contents of your last article and quite frankly I’m surprised they tasked you with writing a follow up.” Mattie sat back down in her chair and scooted it up to her desk so she could rest her hands on the dark wood surface.

Laura was suddenly rethinking her plan to take on Mattie and try to out smart her into admitting something she could use in her story to further expose the company. “Well then, maybe you can help clear some things up for everyone. Can I ask you a few questions?”

Mattie smiled condescendingly, “You may.”

Laura couldn't remember a time she was more nervous to interview someone. This was a big story and she didn't want to screw it up. Not just for her career, but for the people involved. What was happening wasn't right, and she couldn't just sit by and allow that to go on. She had to be able to help. But this was also Carmilla’s sister, and things were already tense with them. Would this be the thing that finally breaks them?

Things started polite and quickly escalated. Laura was trying everything to get some dirt, or honestly, even just a speck of dust on the dishonest happenings at Morgan Industries.

“What about the funds that were allocated to departments that don’t even exist within the company?” Laura readied her pen, there was no talking her way around this one.

“The brief disorganization of apportioned resources has in fact been addressed. Because of an unfortunate miscommunication between ourselves and a subsidiary company, there was a momentary oversight in distribution.”

Laura wished she had brought a dictionary to this meeting. She cleared her throat, scribbling quickly on the note pad, trying to get every word Mattie was saying down.

“…falsified Audits?”

“..innovative algorithmic application.”

“…drastic layoffs?”

“…allowing opportunity for personal growth outside the work place.”

“.. immediate backpedaling in the decision to let people go?”

“My dear, are you really going to try to make us seem like the bad guy for giving employees their jobs back?” Mattie gave a haughty laugh and shook her head. “I think thats quite enough for today.”

Laura was about to protest, knowing full well she hadn't gotten anything solid for her article but before she could say anything Mattie had called for her secretary to see Laura out.

A woman that seemed to be a bundle of nerves entered the office and ushered Laura out quickly. She glanced over her shoulder before the door shut and saw Mattie sitting at her desk, same pleased smile on her face that she wore the entire interview.

_This might be harder than she thought._

——

**7:20 pm**

Carmilla checked her phone again for what seemed like the 50th time in the last 10 minutes. Still no call. No text. Nothing. Just silence. She had tried texting Laura earlier to ask how things with Mattie went but she had replied that she didn't want to talk about. Carmilla felt bad that she was somewhat happy at the response. Most likely Mattie had talked her in circles and left her with less information than when she started, which would make things better for the situation that was getting more and more complicated as time went on.

She wasn't sure what Laura had heard that morning when she was talking with Mattie, but she hoped if she had heard anything, she would know it was a private conversation and off limits when it came to her story.

“You haven't touched your drink, carm-sexy.” Kirsch slid onto the stool next to her at the bar.

“Great observation, bro-for-brains.” Carmilla rolled her eyes and checked her phone again.

“Love problems?” Kirsch asked sincerely, “I know all about that.”

Carmilla glared over at him, “Not that its any of your business, but no. Just not sure whats taking Laura so long to get here.”

Kirsch twirled around in a full circle on the bar before stopping himself and taking a gulp of his drink, “Its cause she stopped to talk to Danny.” He shrugged and twirled around again.

Carmilla’s eyebrows came together, her eyes dropping to look at the bar. She traced the wet ring left behind by a glass on the bar with her finger. Laura hadn't mentioned that. She hadn't mentioned much since last night actually.

“I wouldn't worry lady bro, I’ve been laying some ground work for d-bear and I just know things are going my way.” He wiggled his eyebrows and picked up his glass.

Suddenly he was being twirled around in his seat by someone gripping his shoulder, nearly falling off the stool. The drink in his hand had now spilled all over his shirt and the glass dropped to the ground shattering on the floor.

“Well if it isn't Brotein Shake.”

Kirsch steadied himself by grabbing onto the bar and stopping himself from spinning any further. “whoa hottie—Mel?“

Before he could say anything else she was shoving him in the chest, hard.

“Hold on—“ Carmilla stood up from her seat on the bar to see what was going on, “What’s happening here?”

Kirsch had shrunk himself down and was actually trying to hide behind Carmilla as Mel glared at him.

“Are you really going to hide behind her, meat-cheeks?”

Just then Laura came walking through the door followed by Danny, who immediately saw what was going on and rushed over. Danny stepped up in front of Kirsch, blocking Mel from getting to him. Carmilla looked the situation over and stepped back to sit back down on her stool and out of the chaos unfolding.

“What the hell Lawrence? You know it was probably this idiot that got all of us fired— we’re just lucky it didn't stick, for now!” Mel glared over Danny’s shoulder at Kirsch. “Don’t you want to avoid it happening again?”

“Of course I do. But Kirsch isn't responsible for any of that.” Danny stood up taller before looking over her shoulder at Kirsch behind her, “He’s just a sweet.. silly man child.” She stepped forwards towards Mel and lowered her voice slightly, “Its been a long week for all of us, I think its probably time to slow down on the drinks for tonight.”

By now Will had made his was over to the scuffle and looked around the group of people standing there, “Do I need to show anyone out? Or are we good?”

Mel scoffed and shook her head, stepping back away from Danny, “Whatever, girl scout.” She turned and walked back to the table she had come from leaving the group standing there still stunned.

“You. Are. SO the man! I mean, you’re the woman!” Kirsch practically was bouncing up and down, a giant grin plastered on his face.

Danny sighed and turned around to face him and everyone else, “It really wasn't that big of a deal, Kirsch.”

“You’re like my hero.” He surged forward his arms out, ready to give Danny a hug when she threw her arms up in front of her stopping him. “No! Kirsch, you’re covered in beer.” She shook her head and kept her arm up to keep him at a distance.

He stepped back sheepishly and glanced at Laura, then Carmilla.

“Just— go clean up a bit or something.” Danny looked over to Laura who was giving her a smile.

Kirsch just nodded and rushed off towards the bathroom.

Will nodded at Carmilla and handed her a broom over the counter. She rolled her eyes but started to sweep up the broken glass on the floor as Laura stepped over to Danny and started to talk with her.

“What was that all about?” Laura brushed her hand down Danny’s arm, pulling her attention.

“Oh, nothing. Mel is just mad about the layoffs and freaked out its going happen again, but for real. There’s a lot of rumors going around about why they happened in the first place and I guess she wanted to blame Kirsch.” She sat down on an empty stool.

Laura hopped up onto the stool next to her and shrugged her shoulders, “It was really cool of you to stand up for him.” She smiled warmly at her before turning to Will and asking for a couple of drinks.

“Any new leads? The sooner this mess gets figured out the better, ya know?” Danny picked up the drink Will placed in front of her on the bar and continued to talk with Laura.

Laura filled her in on the interview that morning and how awful it went. Carmilla stopped sweeping and stood there to watch Laura and Danny for a moment. They were talking about things Laura hadn't even shared with her yet and Carmilla wasn't sure if she should be angry, jealous, or relieved.

“I did land another interview with one of the board members, though.” Laura took a sip of her drink, attention still on Danny, “Some guy named Vordenberg.”

Carmilla’s ears perked up at the name. She knew it from somewhere but couldn't place it. Maybe it was in something the had read in the files Mattie had sent her. If he was on the board, it had to be something like that. She didn't remember meeting a Vordenberg at the first meeting though.

“What makes you think he’s going to be more helpful than your last interview?” Danny asked, leaning her elbow on the bar, turning to face Laura.

“Honestly, i don’t know if he will be. But he's still a potential source of information, and he’s willing to meet with me. So its a start, I guess.” Laura shrugged and glanced over at Carmilla who had started sweeping again. She watched her for a second before turning back around and locking her eyes on her drink.

They hadn't said anything to each other pretty much all day. So when Carmilla slid in behind Laura and gently wrapped her arms around her waist in a hug, it took Laura somewhat by surprise. She still wasn't sure what she was supposed to be feeling about everything.

“Hey, sweetheart.” Carmilla let her lips brush Laura’s ear as she hugged her from behind.

“Uh, hey, hi.” Laura let her arms come down to rest on top of Carmilla’s for a second before taking hold of one and using it to pull her around to her side. “You want to have a drink with me and Danny?”

Carmilla’s smile dropped and she looked from Laura to Danny thoughtfully, “No, its ok. I think I’m probably good for tonight. I’ll uh— see you at home?”

Laura nodded quickly, “I’m going to stay a while and hang out but I’ll be home in a bit” She gave her a kiss on the cheek then turned back to Danny and started talking to her again.

Carmilla nodded slowly, looking her girlfriend over before looking over at Danny. The tall red head seemed to pick up on the tension and actually gave Carmilla an apologetic smile before turning her focus back to Laura.

With a sigh, Carmilla gathered her things and slowly made her way to the door. Before walking outside she took a quick look over her shoulder at Laura. It was almost physical, the weight she was starting to feel pressing on her shoulders and chest. She reached up to rub the back of her neck, trying to will the worry and heaviness away, before turning back to the door and leaving the bar alone.

——

**11:58 pm**

Carmilla heard the apartment door shut and footsteps making their way to the bedroom slowly. Closing her eyes she kept herself still in the bed. The door creaked slightly as Laura pushed it open and a sliver of light from the hallway bled into the room. Carmilla opened her eyes and watched as Laura tip toed around there room, placing her jacket on a chair, hopping slightly as she pulled her pants off her legs and a pair of shorts back on in their place. She discarded her shirt on the floor and pulled on one of Carmilla’s t-shirts— she hadn't started moving her things over, quite yet.

Carmilla couldn't help but smile at the sight. Tension or not, she loved this girl and found her absolutely adorable. When it seemed Laura was done shuffling around the room getting ready for bed Carmilla closed her eyes again, pretending to be asleep.

There was a click from the door shutting, the small amount of light that had previously stretched into the room was now gone, and Carmilla was alone.

She rolled over to face to door, a small amount of light illuminating the space between the floor and door. She watched the door for what seemed like forever. _Maybe she was getting a drink before bed. Or a snack. Something. She would be right back._

_She would be right back._

——

**12:07 am**

Laura shut the bedroom door as quietly as she could. She was still a little buzzed and knew she wasn't exactly the most graceful person to begin with. She made her way over to the couch and let herself sink down into it, letting her head fall back to stare at the ceiling.

What was she supposed to do? About her article and how hopeless it seemed after that interview with Mattie? With Carmilla and how messed up things were feeling? Everything was falling apart and she felt like she was drowning in it. She still felt responsible for Danny and Kirsch losing their jobs, however momentarily that lasted, and was determined to get to the bottom of things before it happened again for real. But taking down Morgan Industries meant fighting against Carmilla and her family. Which was another thing—

Carmilla and Will were close, but beyond that she had no idea Carmilla would be so loyal even when everything was pointing to them being so corrupt.

Laura couldn't stop thinking about what she had overheard Carmilla telling Mattie. _It all came back to her mother._ She knew that was information she wasn't supposed to hear, and she wasn't sure how Carmilla had even figured that out. With all the research Laura had been doing, she hadn't been able to follow the trail quite that far yet. This was the thing she needed to break the story. But was it fair to use it when she overheard her _girlfriend_ talking in private with her _sister_ about it?

She sat up and flipped open her laptop in front off her on the coffee table. She stared down at the blank screen for a minute before leaning forward and beginning to type.

——

**4:17 am**

Carmilla woke up a few hours later, still alone in bed. Still a sliver of light coming under the door. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes with her hand and moved the covers off of her. Throwing her legs off the bed she let her feet press gently on the cold floor and took a deep breath.

Walking into the living room she found Laura, asleep on the couch. She was curled up on her side, an arm hanging loosely over the edge of the couch, her hand somehow still holding a pen. There were papers set about around her on the couch and floor, a notepad with nearly illegible scribbling covering its pages, her lap top open on the coffee table and a couple empty hot chocolate mugs next to it.

Carmilla watched her sleep for a minute before walking over and pulling a blanket up to cover her. She sat down next to her and reached out a hand to brush gently through her hair. She let her fingers move from combing through her hair, to lightly brushing against her cheek. Outlining her features slowly, following the line of her jaw, her thumb gliding across her relaxed lips.

She didn't realize it but she had stared humming softly. She just let herself take in Laura’s appearance for a second. Thing’s had been so tense lately, it felt like they hadn't stopped to just be with each other in a while.

Laura stirred, dropping her pen and bringing her arm up tuck into her chest. Carmilla pulled her hand back immediately, not wanting to wake her. Her humming stopped and she just watched the brunette that was asleep on the couch.

Laura wrinkled her forehead, her eyebrows pushing together and her lips started to move, indecipherable sounds escaping them quietly. Carmilla reached her hand back out to massage her fingers through her soft hair and began to hum again. Hoping to lull her back to sleep, or out of whatever dream was causing her to frown.

Laura’s face immediately relaxed and the mumbling got quieter, almost stopping. Carmilla was about to stand when the mumbling switched to singing. She couldn't understand the words but it was clear Laura had started to sing the song Carmilla had been humming to get her back to sleep.

She sat there a little stunned, watching Laura sing in her sleep. Well, more like mumble in the form of a tune, in her sleep. It only lasted a few seconds then she was silent again but that was all Carmilla needed. She made sure to tuck the blanket up around Laura before walking across the room to grab her guitar to disappear back into the bedroom.

——

**7:25 am**

Laura woke up and groaned, trying to force her body to move and stretch from whatever ungodly position she had ended up in on the couch. Her neck felt like it was going to snap off and her back gave a loud pop when she finally sat herself up straight. She looked around, realizing she must have fallen asleep while she was working on her story but she didn't remember having this blanket. And instead of the 3 empty mugs on the table from the night before, there was just one sitting next to her computer, filled with steaming hot chocolate.

She reached for the cup and held it in her hands, soaking up some of its warmth, before taking a sip. Right away she knew Carmilla had left it for her. She always made the hot chocolate so good, and would never share her secret ingredient. Whatever it was, was heavenly. Laura took another sip and set down the cup. She stood up and wrapped the blanket around her and made her way to the bedroom. It was empty.

She stood there in the door way looking at the already made bed. Carmilla’s guitar was sitting on top of it, along with a few papers laid out next to it. Curiously she started making her way over to the bed to get a closer look at what had to be sheet music or lyrics. Laura was about to reach out to pick up a paper covered in Carmilla’s writing when the bathroom door opened and Camilla stepped out.

Feeling like she had been caught snooping Laura jumped back away from the bed awkwardly and looked around the room. Carmilla just smirked and raised an eyebrow as she walked out of the bathroom. She was towel drying her hair quickly as she made her way to the bed.

“Morning.” She drawled with a sleepy voice as shetossed her towel over a chair and picked up her papers and guitar and fit them all in the guitar case leaning next to the bed.

“Uh, hi, I mean, morning.” Laura laughed nervously, “I was just—“ She hadn't really thought of an excuse for being caught and was suddenly feeling silly for even thinking she needed one. She looked Carmilla up and down. Besides her hair being wet and disheveled from the hasty towel dry, she was already dressed like she had been the other day for her meeting. Business attire, but in the most attractive way possible. “Where are you headed?” Laura asked confused.

It was probably her own fault she didn't know, after staying out a while after Carmilla had left the bar, and then not waking her up when she had finally gotten home. They hadn't _really_ talked in a few days so it shouldn't have been a surprise that she didn't know where Carmilla was going. Despite that, it still made her feel uneasy. She wasn't sure if it was because they hadn't been talking, or because she was guessing Carmilla was off to help with the company issue. Both reasons were enough to make her stomach tighten.

“I’m meeting up with Mattie at the office.” Carmilla ran a hand through her hair, trying to tame the still damp curls, “But—“ She took a step towards Laura and gripped the edges of the blanket that were still wrapped around her.

“I would really, like to see you tonight.” She slowly pulled open Laura’s arms so she could slide her own arms inside the blanket and around Laura’s waist, pulling her close slowly.

Laura smiled and narrowed her eyes, “Why do I feel like you’re up to something?” she let her arms wrap around Carmilla’s neck, enveloping them both in the blanket.

“Maybe I am.” Carmilla smiled warmly at her.

This was good. This was progress. They both still felt slightly nervous and the tension was still there, but this is the closest they had been with each other in days.

Laura let out a sleepy sigh and Carmilla pulled her closer, closing the space between them with a tight hug. Laura let her arms wrap tighter around Carmilla and rested her head on her shoulder. They stayed like that for a few minutes, just breathing each other in.

Laura was realizing that even though Carmilla was technically right there the whole time, she had missed her. Letting her hold her like this reminded her how safe she made her feel, how easy it was for her to make her forget about everything if just for a moment.

Carmilla started to pull away and Laura immediately started to miss her again. She wasn't sure how it had come to that— the craziness of her article, them disagreeing about it, it wasn't anyones fault really, they had just slowly started to drift apart lately.

“I wish I didn't have to go, but—“ Carmilla’s expression was soft and hopeful as she looked at Laura.

“Its ok, I have to get to work too.” Laura shrugged and let her arms fall from Carmilla’s shoulder, wrapping herself up in the blanket once again. The warmth of the blanket feeling cold in comparison to Carmilla’s embrace.

“Meet me at Silas tonight?” Carmilla lifted a hand to caress Laura’s cheek.

Laura leaned into the touch and closed her eyes as she nodded her response. Carmilla’s hand remained there as she leaned in, her lips barely pressing against Laura’s in a kiss. It left Laura wanting more, her chest suddenly aching to be close to Carmilla again. Wanting desperately to forget whatever had gotten between them in the first place.

Carmilla was gone quicker than Laura wanted. The memory of that last kiss lingering as she stood in their bedroom alone, wrapped up in the blanket, wishing instead to be wrapped in Carmilla’s arms.

——

**4:57 pm**

Laura had been staring at her computer screen for over 20 minutes. She had finished the second installment of her three part story but had yet to actually send it to her editor.  After this morning, that sweet moment with Carmilla, she was nervous about what the fallout from the story would be. 

She glanced at the clock in the corner of the screen, knowing she had to hit send. _She had to_. If she didn't have this sent off by 5 her editor would no doubt be angry and who knows what he would do.

She hit ‘Send’ and shut her lap top quickly and pushed her chair back away from the desk. _She sent it_. There was no taking it back now, the story was in. She bit her bottom lip and slowly scooted herself back towards her desk, letting her head fall slowly onto its surface with a ‘thump’.

Carm would understand, right? She knows how important this is and she said herself she wasn't on anyones side, she just wanted the whole story. And thats exactly what Laura’s job was, to report the story. It would be ok. _It had to be_.

She pulled herself up off her desk and picked up her phone, flipping it open and scrolling through her contacts. Hitting the call button, she sighed and leaned back in her chair as she put the phone to her ear and listened to it ring.

“Hi pumpkin!”

“Hey dad.” She smiled as soon as she heard his voice. “Do you have a minute?”

“For you? I have all the time in the world.”

She could practically hear him smiling through the phone. Before she had even started talking things over with her dad, she was already feeling better.

——

**4:57 pm**

“Carmilla. I think thats quite enough for today.” Mattie walked around the table and pulled out the chair next to Carmilla and sat down.

“I know there’s something in here. There has to be.” Carmilla reluctantly stopped shuffling through the papers covering the table and sat back in her chair.

“Look Kitty, I want to believe you but—“

“I’m not wrong about this.” Carmilla cut her off quickly, turning to look at her sharply.

Mattie pressed her lips together and crossed her legs, leaning back into the chair. Every move she made was calculated and even-tempered, no matter what it involved. She looked closely at Carmilla then down to scan the papers on the table.

“You’re sure?” Mattie asked slowly, folding her hands in her lap.“Because we’ve been going over these files all day and haven't found anything.”

“Positive.” Carmilla’s stare softened, but remained focused. “You got me to agree to this because of ‘family’, and now I’m pulling the same card.” Carmilla leaned onto the arm of the chair, moving herself closer to Mattie and lowering her voice almost to a whisper, “Something is off, Mads. Mother had no idea what I was talking about when I approached her about this stuff. She has no clue she's going to be blamed for everything the company is being accused of.”

“You’re sure she's not playing you?” Mattie narrowed her eyes at Carmilla. It seemed unlikely Lilita Morgan was being played but if Carmilla was right, then she was just a small pawn in a much larger game.

Carmilla nodded, “Something else is going on, Mattie. You’re smart enough to realize that.” She leaned forward in her chair and started gathering the papers into piles and placing them in folders.

“We don’t have another meeting with the board until Monday. Take the files home, keep looking, and come up with something by then. Otherwise, we may have no choice but to defend your mother in court.” Mattie pressed her hands on the table and stood, straightened out her shirt and looked down at Carmilla.

“Thanks, Mattie.” Carmilla reached out and grabbed her hand, giving it a squeeze.

“The things I do for you, little sis.” Mattie smiled and tightened her grip on Carmilla’s hand, “Just be careful. If something is going on, and they aren't afraid to try to take on your mother…” She trailed off, lost in her thought.

Carmilla knew exactly what she meant. If they were trying to take down her mother, they had to be either stupid, fearless, or bigger and badder than Lilita Morgan.

——

**6:45 pm**

Carmilla and Will sat together on the stage at the bar, their feet dangling down over the edge.  Will leaned back on his hands and glanced over at his sister. 

"You really love her, don't you?" He watched her expression carefully. He knew Carmilla liked to pretend not to have feelings and often struggled to express them, but he could always read her face.  

Carmilla smiled softly and dropped her gaze to the ground. She leaned back, matching Wills position and nodded. 

Will smiled and leaned towards her, bumping into her shoulder to get her attention. She glanced up to look at him and instead of the smug grin she was expecting, he was smiling genuinely. 

"I'm happy for you, Kitty." His smile got wider. "But if you think me closing the bar down for your little romantic gestures is going to be a regular thing, you are sorely mistaken." He gave her a wink and hopped off the stage and walked towards the bar. 

Carmilla chuckled and leaned forward, straightening her posture, "You do realize I actually own the bar, and you technically work for me, right?" She raised an eyebrow and tilted her head to the side. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Lets just hope you’re as talented as you think you are and this only takes one try.” He smiled over at her before grabbing his jacket off the bar and walking out the door.

This was it. Laura would be here any minute, and Carmilla was determined to fix whatever had been happening the last few days. Sure things were complicated, but she honestly believed they were bigger than what was going on. She just hoped Laura felt the same way.

——

**7:08 pm** Laura was running late, and knowing Carmilla was probably already waiting for her made her fidget nervously in the passenger seat of Danny’s car. They had grabbed some dinner together so Danny could fill her in on any new details she had discovered at her office. Having Morgan Industries as a parent company while all this crazy stuff was going on, her office was swarming with rumors and tiny tidbits of fact as far as what was happening. Laura was happy to take advantage of Danny’s position in the middle of it all, and Danny was happy to help.

“You sure you’re supposed to meet her here?” Danny asked as she pulled into the empty parking lot.

Laura looked around equally surprised by the lack of cars. Usually this place was packed on a Friday night. She saw Carmilla’s car parked off to the side and gestured towards it, “Yeah, Carmilla must be here, her car is here.”

Danny pulled up close to the door and put the car in park, “Do you want me to wait?”

Laura looked around again, getting slightly nervous at the emptiness of the bar. “No, it’s fine.” Her voice sounded more nervous than she meant for it to.

“Laura?” Danny gripped the wheel, staring at her hands.

“Yeah?” Laura started to gather her things, ready to exit the car.

“Are things ok? I mean with you and Morticia.” Danny dropped her hands in her lap and glanced over at Laura.

Laura sighed heavily, setting her things in her lap, “Honestly? I don’t know.” She shook her head before turning to look at Danny, “I mean things have been tense, which is understandable with everything going on. But this morning she was so sweet and it was like it was before all this started and I thought—“ she cut herself off and turned to look at the bar door. “Now i don't know if this is her breaking up with me, or us getting back to normal.”

“Hey—“ Danny reached over and gave Laura’s arm a squeeze, “I’m sure its the second option. She loves you. Any idiot can see that.”

Laura turned to give her a small smile. She huffed out a breath through her nose and sat up straight, taking hold of the door handle. “I hope so.” She opened the door and stepped out, throwing her bag over her shoulder, “Thanks for the ride, Danny. And you know, everything else.”

Danny nodded and as soon as Laura shut the door, she pulled away. Leaving Laura standing in front of the door, her stomach tight, nervous about what was waiting for her on the other side.

Steeling her nerves Laura took hold of the handle and pulled open the heavy door. Before she even stepped inside she could hear Carmilla’s guitar and immediately felt calmer. It was a beautiful tune, one she hadn't heard before. She wondered if that was the song on the papers she had seen that morning.

She walked into the bar slowly, letting the door close quietly behind her. She glanced around the empty room, everything looked the same as it always did, except the obvious lack of people. The lights were dim, the neon sign above the bar giving off a pink glow, a spotlight on the stage, and Carmilla.

Laura immediately smiled, stopping herself to look at the girl siting on the edge of the stage. Carmilla had her guitar in her lap, she had one leg pulled up underneath her, the other swinging slowly to the beat of the song she was playing. Her eyes were closed and her head tilted down causing her hair to fall over part of her face. Her fingers moved effortlessly over the strings of her guitar. It took Laura’s breath away.

“Is that a new song?” Laura finally spoke, taking another step towards Carmilla.

Carmilla looked up, her lips twisting up into a smile as she nodded and continued to play softly.

Laura bit her lip and kept walking towards her, the few butterflies that were fluttering in her stomach before quickly turning into a swarm no doubt causing a tornado inside her. It was amazing that after all this time, Carmilla could still do that to her.

Carmilla nodded to the space next to her on the stage, “sit with me?”

Laura nodded quickly and hopped up next to her, turning to face her. She pulled up one of her legs underneath her, letting the other hang off the edge, mirroring Carmilla so they could face each other.

Carmilla started strumming more slowly, her focus being drawn to Laura instead of the song she was playing. Laura smiled, feeling a blush spread through her cheeks and looked around the bar, “How is this place so empty on a Friday night?”

Carmilla chuckled, knowing full well this was Laura’s nervous habit. Talking. She just shrugged and tried to give focus back to her guitar, while still keeping her eyes on Laura.

Laura started to fidget nervously, playing with her fingers, looking around the bar, biting her lip. She knew Carmilla was messing with her, but it didn't change the fact she was still nervous and her heart was pounding. The way Carmilla was looking at her made her heart race and the butterflies in her stomach flutter in full force.

Carmilla finally broke into a wide smile and stopped playing. She bit her bottom lip and placed a hand on Laura’s thigh. The touch sent a wave of energy through Laura and her eyes immediately locked on Carmilla’s.

“Can I play you something?” Carmilla’s voice was low and smooth, she raised an eyebrow and smiled her signature seductive smirk.

Laura absentmindedly licked her lips, her eyes darting to look at Carmilla’s lips before moving back up to her eyes while she nodded quickly.

Carmilla took back her hand and started playing the tune again. Laura couldn't help but think back to the night they met, the first time she had heard Carmilla play, and the song she had sang to her then. Quickly her attention came back to the present moment as Carmilla started singing.

[ _If you would just slow down you would see_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHLjx-OW42w)   
_We were meant for something_   
_Lay your armor down and stay with me_   
_Aren't you tired of running?_   
_Can we go back before the storm came raging?_   
_And everything we built was gone_

_So sing to me till I fall asleep_   
_Like the way you did when you were still mine_   
_And tell me that it's not over yet_   
_We were never good at saying goodbyes_   
_Why can't you see what's right in front of your eyes?_

Laura watched Carmilla closely as she got lost in the song. Her eyes closing, her eyebrows coming together with emotion. Her voice so sure about the words she was singing. Laura let herself get lost watching her and felt the words she was singing more than she heard them.

_Remember our first kiss that starry night?_   
_It felt like we were flying_   
_So how do we forget?_   
_That love is on our side_   
_Oh we never saw this coming_   
_Can we go back before the morning took you?_   
_And every dream of you was gone_

Suddenly everything that had been happening came rushing into Laura’s mind. It was bigger than she realized. She knew that morning when Carmilla had hugged her she realized she missed her, but this moment made her realize how much. Her heart ached listening to Carmilla sing, once again, a song she had written for her. It was almost too much.

_And so sing to me till I fall asleep_   
_Like the way you did when you were still mine_   
_And tell me that it's not over yet_   
_We were never good at saying goodbyes_   
_Why can't you see what's right in front of your eyes?_

_Can we go back before the storm came raging?_   
_And everything we built was gone_   
_So sing to me till I fall asleep_   
_Like the way you did when you were still mine_

Carmilla lifted her eyes to look at Laura as she sang. Having felt the distance between them growing the last little while, this was her plea for them to find each other again. Carmilla understood what Laura was doing was important to her. That she would always fight for people that couldn't fight for themselves, seek the truth, and try to right wrongs. Its something she absolutely loved her for. And even though she knew things were complicated this time, her mother, sister, family being involved, she truly believed what her and Laura had was bigger than all of that.

   _So sing to me till I fall asleep_  
 _Like the way you did when you were still mine_  
 _And tell me that it's not over yet_  
 _We were never good at saying goodbyes_  
 _Oh we were never good at saying goodbyes_  
 _Why can't you see what's right in front of your eyes?_

Carmilla let out a breath, her fingers gripped tightly to the guitar, waiting for a reaction.

Laura’s mouth gaped open slightly and she kept her eyes locked on Carmilla’s as she gently shook her head, “That was..” She brought a hand up, covering her mouth with her fingers as her eyes started to water. She let out a shaky breath and ducked her head down, shutting her eyes tightly.

Carmilla’s expression changed from hopeful to worried and she scrambled to put her guitar down and scoot closer to Laura. She wrapped her arms around her and pulled her into a hug. Laura let her head rest on Carmilla’s shoulder, her face pressing into her neck. Her arms wrapped around her waist and she took in another shaky breath, before sniffing and pulling back away from Carmilla. There was a tear making it’s way down her cheek and she quickly brushed it away, trying to regain her composure.

Carmilla watched her carefully, not sure what to do, or what she did to make Laura cry.

Laura finally looked up at Carmilla through misty and smiled, “That was beautiful, Carm.” 

Carmilla sighed in relief and reached out to pull Laura back into her arms. Laura held tightly onto Carmilla, the ache in her chest that had been there all week slowly fading away, “I didn't know you knew. I mean, the singing. I didn't know you noticed." She was talking between quiet hiccups as she tried to keep herself from crying.

Carmilla smiled down at her and whispered, "Of course I noticed."

Laura smiled up at her before resting her head on Carmilla's shoulder, letting herself melt into her embrace. "I missed this.” she breathed out quietly. “I missed _you_.”

Carmilla nodded and pulled her in tighter. She placed a kiss on the top of Laura’s head, “I’m right here. _Always_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: yoitsmeecass (in case you want to come say hey)


	14. Same Players, Different Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm bad at summaries guys.. just read it, ya?

**11:00am**

Carmilla squinted her eyes at the sunlight breaking through the bedroom window. Deciding it was too early to actually wake up, she shut her eyes and buried her face in the pillow. Reaching out her hand across the mattress she was disappointed to realize she was alone in the bed. Taking a deep breath she rolled over onto her back and stretched out her arms and legs across the cool sheets and smiled at the memory of the night before—

_  
“How do you do that?”_

_“Do what, sweetheart?”_

_Laura adjusted herself so she could look up at Carmilla, “Write like that. I mean, how long did it take you to write that song?”_

_Carmilla tightened her arms around Laura. Laying on the stage at the bar wasn't exactly the most comfortable but she wasn't about to let go of Laura after the week of distance she had just endured._

_“A couple hours.” She tilted her head and smiled down at the brunette resting on her chest, “You seem to inspire it in me.”_

_Laura smiled and leaned up to capture Carmilla’s lips in a kiss.  
_

 

\-- Letting out a yawn Carmilla sat herself up in bed and looked around. The door was shut, Laura was nowhere to be seen but she thought she could hear something out in the kitchen. Reluctantly she climbed out of bed and ran a hand through her messy curls. She tugged at the hem of the t-shirt she was wearing, pulling it down to cover her torso completely as she made her way out of the bedroom with another yawn.

“mmm, morning cupca—“ Stopping in her tracks, she narrowed her eyes at the person standing in front of her.

Danny glanced over from her spot near the kitchen. One arm was holding onto a box, the other hand was gripping a lamp. She raised an eyebrow as she looked at the dark haired girl emerging from the bedroom wearing a t-shirt and underwear.

They looked at each other for a second, almost expressionless, like what was happening was the most normal thing in the world.

“Xena.” Carmilla finally gave her a bored nod and continued walking towards the fridge.

“Fang face.” Danny rolled her eyes and glanced back at the door.

Carmilla grabbed the bottle of orange juice from the fridge and opened it up, taking a drink from the bottle.

“Hey L, where do you want me to put—“ Laf came walking through the door carrying a box and stopped talking as soon as they saw Carmilla pant less in the kitchen, drinking orange juice from the bottle. They let out a loud laugh and stepped out of the way so Laura could walk in.

“Carm!” Laura’s jaw dropped and her face flushed in embarrassment. She mouthed ‘sorry’ at Danny who was still standing there holding a box and lamp. “Carm go put some pants on before—“

“Well hello half naked sexy lady!” Kirsch’s eyes went wide and his smile was even wider as he nearly fell over Laura, distracted by a nearly naked Carmilla still standing in the kitchen.

Carmilla brought the orange juice down from her mouth and wiped her lips with the back of her hand, “Why the hell is the Scooby gang in my apartment?” She raised and eyebrow and looked around at the very full apartment.

“Oh goodness!” Perry nearly dropped her armful of random items she had brought over from across the hall as she spun around to face the wall instead of Carmilla.

Laura let out an exasperated sigh. Of course, Perry had to walk in at this moment. “Carm, please. Pants?”

Carmilla just shrugged and turned to casually walk back into the bedroom. Once in the bedroom she let out a chuckle as she sat down on the edge of the bed and fell back onto her back. She crossed her arms over her face and smiled to herself—

 

_“Carm, Perry is going to freak out again if you don’t stop” Laura playfully pushed Carmilla away from her and stepped back to the opposite wall of the elevator._

_Carmilla let out a chuckle, “Come on, just a nibble..” She smirked at Laura and stepped towards her, connecting her lips to Laura’s neck._

_“Carm…” Laura tried to sound serious but her voice was more breathy than she realized as she craned her neck, giving Carmilla much better access to it as her lips continued to travel across her skin. She put her hands on Carmilla’s waist and pushed gently. Half of her wanting to stand firm on her previous decision to not get caught in the elevator again, while the other half was enjoying what was happening far too much._

_The elevator came to a stop and the doors opened slowly. Laura quickly took hold of Carmilla’s hand and pull her down the hallway giggling all the way to their apartment door._

 

 

“Did you forget?”

Laura’s voice pulled her from her memory of the night before and Carmilla moved her arms from her face to look at her girlfriend.

“We talked about this last night.” Laura crossed her arms over her chest and tried to hide her smile as Carmilla cocked her eyebrow and looked her up and down.

“I’m sorry if I had other things on my mind last night” She sat up slowly on the mattress and reached her hand out for Laura to take hold of.

Laura dropped her arms and stepped towards Carmilla. Instead of taking her hand she placed her hands on the mattress on either side of Carmilla’s legs and leaned down, putting her face inches away from Carmilla’s.

A smile spread over Carmilla’s face as she focused on Laura’s lips and raised an eyebrow. _God it was good to have the playful Laura back._

Laura bit her lip and moved slowly so she was whispering in Carmilla’s ear softly, “Get dressed and come help.” she giggled and turned to plant a kiss on Carmilla’s cheek before standing up straight and practically bouncing out of the bedroom, giving Carmilla a flirty smile over her shoulder.

Carmilla rolled her eyes and reluctantly looked around the room for some pants. There was no way she was going to let the ginger squad and the giant puppy move all of Laura’s things into the apartment without some supervision. Of course this didn't mean she would help, but she had to make sure they didn't break anything.

Finally emerging from the bedroom, in a pair of sweat pants, Carmilla lazily walked to the kitchen counter where she had left the orange juice. She hopped up onto the hard surface and grabbed the bottle to take another drink.

“Honestly Carmilla, I don’t know how you could sleep through all this commotion.” Perry’s eyes were wide as she sorted through some dishes that had been brought over. No doubt checking their cleanliness before stacking them in the cupboard.

Danny stomped through the doorway another large box in her hands with Kirsch hot on her heels, “Wilson stop following so closely or you’re going to trip me again!” She was grinding her teeth trying not to yell.

“Woah, D-bear! I thought you said you wouldn't call me that. And Its not my fault I take such big steps.” Kirsch shrugged as he dropped a box of clothes by the couch and leaned against the back of it with one arm, the other hand resting on his hip.

Danny turned quickly to face him, shoving the box into his chest, “I’ll stop calling you Wilson, as soon as you stop calling me D-bear.” She let go of the box and stormed out of the apartment and back across the hall.

Carmilla was still on the counter watching the exchange happen.

Kirsch looked over at her with a goofy smile, “She totally digs me.”

Carmilla let out a laugh and saw Perry shake her head out of the corner of her eye, “Sure Bromeo, you’re charming the pants off of her.”

Kirsch looked pleased with what he thought was a compliment and set the box that Danny had shoved in his arms down and raced out the door after her.

“You really shouldn't encourage him” Perry glanced over at her with a displeased look.

“Why not? It’s entertaining.” Carmilla shrugged as she hopped off the counter and made her way to the couch that was filling with Laura’s stuff. She plopped down into a pile of pillows and blankets and made herself comfortable. She watched as the group continued to bring Laura’s things across the hall, occasionally shouting out instructions of where to put things, but mostly just laughing at the constant bickering and overall clumsiness of the group.

 

_“How about a cat?” Laura brushed her fingertips across Carmilla’s bare stomach, tracing lines and shapes carefully._

_“A cat? Really?” Carmilla scoffed and threw an arm behind her head. “How about a plant?”_

_Laura’s hand stilled and she propped herself up on an elbow to look at the dark haired girl, “A plant?” Clearly she wasn't as excited about a plant as she was a pet._

_“Come on cupcake, we can get a cactus.” Carmilla was just messing with her now. She couldn't help it, really. The bunched up face Laura made in these kinds of moments was one of her favorites._

_Laura knew exactly what she was trying to do. She shook her head and tried no tot smile as she lay down next to her again, “You’re unbelievable.”_

_Carmilla chuckled and rolled to her side to face Laura, “How about we just get your stuff over here and organized first. Then we can talk about maybe, possibly, getting a pet. Deal?” She set her hand gently on Laura’s waist and gave it a squeeze._

_Laura’s face immediately brightened as she tried unsuccessfully to contain a squeal, “Eee! Deal!” She exclaimed excitedly and practically pounced on top of Carmilla, wrapping her arms around her tightly._

_Carmilla couldn't help but laugh at the excited girl in her arms. Grabbing the sheet she pulled it up to cover them both before wrapping her arms around Laura to pull her close._

 

 

They had finally gotten Laura’s apartment cleared of her things and were now sorting through boxes trying to figure out where to put her stuff, and what could be donated or thrown away. Laura already decided to donate most of her furniture seeing as how Carmilla already had everything they needed, and her things were much nicer than what Laura had collected.

Laura was sitting on the floor going through piles of papers that had been on and in her desk. Her hair was pulled up in a ponytail and she was wearing some work out shorts and a tank top. Carmilla couldn't help but stare.

She had watched them move things in the apartment all afternoon, wishing for them to get done so she could have Laura all to herself. But she looked around the room with a frown at the group of people still in her apartment.

Kirsch and Lafontaine were sitting by the TV ‘organizing’ the dvd’s. Honestly, it seemed like they were trying to act them out and have the other person guess what movie it was before putting the case on the shelf.

Perry was at the bookshelf, very carefully organizing the now very large collection of books. Between Carmilla’s love for reading and Laura’s love for research, they practically had their own library.

That left Danny. Danny was on the floor with Laura sorting through papers. They would speak in hushed whispers to one another occasionally, but for the most part, they just kept putting things in different piles.

Carmilla had that feeling again- when she had overheard Laura telling Danny about her article and interview. Once again she couldn't decide if she should be worried, jealous, or relieved.

She knew that even after last night, things weren't perfect. Not much had changed besides the fact that they weren't giving each other the cold shoulder anymore. Laura still had her articles to write, and Carmilla still had her own responsibilities. She just hoped they were in a new place where it wasn't going to put such a strain on things.

 

_Laura placed a kiss on Carmilla’s hip bone and trailed her hands up her torso slowly. Massaging her skin gently, she could feel the goosebumps rise under her fingertips. Carmilla’s chest was moving rapidly still, her breathing having not calmed yet but she could feel her body starting to relax underneath her._

_Laura let her hands move from Carmilla's stomach to her ribs, brushing lightly outside her breasts. Once they reached her shoulders she trailed her hands down her arms to find her hands. While placing kisses along her stomach and chest as she moved her own body up, she brought Carmilla’s hands above her head and interlocked their fingers._

_After making her way up Carmilla’s body she settled herself over her, straddling her waist, her elbows on the mattress near her head, holding tightly to her hands above her._

_“We should always have makeup sex.” Carmilla breathed out with barely enough energy to pull her lips into a smirk._

_Laura giggled and placed a few more open mouthed kisses on her neck as she let her own body settle to lay on top of Carmilla’s. “That would require more fighting, and I really don’t want to do that anymore.” Laura whispered into her ear before sucking gently on her earlobe._

_Carmilla hummed in an effort to agree and tightened her grip on Laura’s hands before letting go with one to bring it down the scratch up and down her back. They stayed that way a while. Slowly catching their breath again, the rhythm of their chests rising and falling starting to match pace. It was early in the morning by now and neither of them had the energy to really check the time._

_Carmilla was almost asleep when she felt Laura shifting to look up at her. She could feel her watching her, probably trying to decide if she was asleep already or not. Without opening her eyes, Carmilla smiled, “Cupcake.”_

_“Yeah?” Laura whispered while keeping her eyes on her._

_Carmilla opened one eye and looked down at her expectantly, waiting for her to say whatever was on her mind. “I can feel you thinking.” she closed her eyes again and settled further into the pillow._

_Laura smiled against her skin and tucked her head under her chin, “Thanks. For earlier. I was afraid with everything-“_

_“Hey.” Carmilla cut her off quietly, wrapping her arm tighter around her, “Right now all you need to think about it that I love you.” She placed a kiss on the top of Laura’s head._

_Laura let out a sigh and closed her eyes. She was right. Right now, thats all that mattered. They would figure out the rest as it came along. Feeling Carmilla’s breathing even out, Laura smiled and started to sing softly until she feel asleep._

 

 

“Alright, everybody out.” Carmilla stood up off the couch and walked over to the door to open it.

Everyone in the room looked around at each other confused before looking over at Carmilla, but no one moved.

Carmilla gestured largely with her hand towards the open door, “Get out of our apartment. Now.” she raised her eyebrows and tilted her head slightly, looking around at the wide eyes looking at her.

“Uhh, carm?” Laura started to stand up and glanced around the room, “We cant just kick everyone out.”

“Oh yes we can.” Carmilla walked over to Kirsch and grabbed his arm, pulling him up off the floor and pushing him towards the door. Laura’s eyebrows came together and she planted her hands on her hips firmly, staring down Carmilla.

Carmilla kept pushing Kirsch towards the door but turned to look at Laura. She gave her a wink and the most seductive look she could. Laura immediately understood what was happening.

Laura clapped her hands together, “Alright guys, thanks for the help but thats probably enough for today!” She reached out her hand to a reluctant Danny to help her off the floor.

Lafontaine started to usher Perry away from the book shelf, reassuring her that Carmilla and Laura would be just as particular about the organizational method for the books.

Laura smiled wide and continued to usher everyone to the door, “How about Monday you guys come back for a house warming party? Pizza, beer, it’ll be fun!”

Everyone nodded and grabbed their things quickly as Carmilla and Laura practically pushed them out into the hallway and shut the door.

“Well that was odd.” Was all Perry had to say as she turned and made her way towards the elevator.

Lafontaine tried to stifle a laugh as they looked at Kirsch and Danny and wiggled their eyebrows before turning to follow Perry.

Suddenly Kirsch got what had just happened and raised his arm to give Danny a high-5, “Dude.” He bounced on the balls of his feet, giving her his goofy grin.

Danny rolled her eyes and turned around leaving him in front of the door with his arm raised.

“Come on D-bear! Don’t leave me hanging!” He yelled chasing after her down the hallway.

——

**4:40pm**

Carmilla grabbed her phone off the counter to check who had texted her. Mattie. Again. She put it back on the counter and opened up another file. She knew she shouldn't have skipped the meeting with the board that morning but after spending whatever free time she had that weekend looking through these company files, she was still coming up empty.

Everything was still pointing to her mother. The documents keeping record of the money that had essentially disappeared had her signature. The false audits had been approved by her. The nonexistent projects had her go ahead. None of it was making sense. She had talked to her mother more times in the last week than she had in the last year, and honestly believed her when she said she had nothing to do with what was going on.

Strangely, their need to argue had almost disappeared completely with the start of all this. Its was like her mother was seeing her as a capable adult for the first time. It was definitely different for Carmilla to be working so hard to defend her mother, of all people. But somewhere along the way it became less out of obligation and more out of an honest sense of family. It was hard for Carmilla to process. After everything that had happened in their past, it was remarkably easy for her to make the choice to try and help her.

The door to the apartment flew open, causing Carmilla to jump and quickly gather up the files covering the counter. Over the weekend it had become an unspoken agreement that they wouldn't talk about Laura’s articles or the company stuff.

“Hey! Can you help me before I drop all this?” Laura's arms were full of Pizza and grocery bags.

Carmilla chuckled at the sight. She couldn't even see Laura’s head behind all the pizza she was carrying. “You know there’s only 5 people coming over, right?” She took the stack of pizzas and set them on the counter before grabbing a bag full of cookies and other treats and putting it next to the pizza.

“I know but Kirsch eats a lot.” Laura started to put a bunch of drinks in the fridge. Beer, soda, juice. She was excited to have an actual ‘house warming’ party. It had only been 2 days but she was absolutely loving living with Carmilla. They were practically living together before this, but now it was official and it just felt different.

—

By 6:00 the house warming party was in full swing. Laf and Perry were snuggled together on the couch with Danny on the other end. Kirsch had pulled over a stool from the island counter along with Will, who had shown up with even more beer than what they had started with.

Carmilla was sitting in a large lounge chair, Laura sitting across her lap. They were all talking and laughing and most of them had already worked their way through a good amount of alcohol at this point. Laura was right, Kirsch did eat a lot, and most of the pizza was gone.

“That is not what happened!” Kirsch jumped up from his stool and nearly fell over.

The room erupted in laugher at both the outburst and the very obvious fact that Kirsch was wasted. “Don’t even try to lie! We can call any one of the Zetas right now and they will back me up!” Will shouted over the laughter, doubling over in his seat.

“Bro! I cant believe you told them that story!” Kirsch sat back down in his seat and started to pout.

“I cant believe you did that!” Danny was laughing harder than anyone and slapped her hand down on Kirsch’s leg which quickly turned his pout into a grin.

The laugher died immediately as the font door slammed open and Mattie came walking in pulling the attention of everyone in the room.

Both Danny and Kirsch stood up immediately, almost as if they were ready for a fight. Carmilla rolled her eyes knowing the way Mattie fought, with rhetoric and insults, the tower twins wouldn't last a minute.

“Mattie, why don’t you join our house warming party.” Carmilla drawled from her seat, trying to act unfazed by her sisters presence. She knew full well Mattie was pissed. She could tell just by looking at her, and it didn't help she had been ignoring her all day.

“I think you’re finished, don’t you?” Mattie looked around the room, clearly unimpressed by the people currently in the same space as her.

“With the party?” Carmilla asked slightly confused. She slowly started to shift Laura off her lap so she could stand up.

“Not you.” Mattie looked pointedly at Carmilla before turning her gaze to Laura. “You.” She raised an eyebrow and tensed her jaw.

Laura felt uneasy under Mattie’s stare but she almost had a feeling this would happen. She didn’t want to let Mattie see her nervousness so she stood as confidently as she could, the alcohol probably helping her a bit.

“If you think I’m done—“

“Oh you're done.” Mattie cut her off sharply, “You can type all the slander you want for your little newspaper but it wont stop me from doing what I have to.” She glanced over at Kirsch and Danny who were still standing watching the exchange, “Which may involve your friends here becoming jobless.”

Danny clenched her fists and took a step towards Mattie. “Is that a threat?!”

Mattie scoffed, “A threat?” she shook her head and smiled as if she was amused. “Please, little red.” She looked Danny up and down. She was one of the few people that actually made Danny seem small in comparison, and it had nothing to do with height. “I may be big and bad, but I’m not the wolf you should be worried about.”

Laf and Perry were watching everyone with wide eyes. They knew a little of what had been going on, but not enough to fully understand what was actually happening. Kirsch reached forward and grabbed Danny’s arm, keeping her from approaching Mattie any further.

“Carmilla wont let that happen.” Laura spoke up, pulling the attention back to her. She looked over at Carmilla and back to Mattie, “Its her company too and she wont let you do anything to our friends.”

Carmilla looked over at Mattie and furrowed her eyebrows. She was missing something. She knew she was missing something. Mattie would never barge in like this unless something had happened. A few ignored texts wouldn't cause this.

Mattie could see the confusion on Carmilla’s face and rolled her eyes. “You really should stop ignoring me sis.” This was the first time her voice didn't sound harsh as she tossed a folded up newspaper at Carmilla.

Carmilla unfolded it to see it was the paper Laura worked for. She read the title of the front page story and let out a heavy breath. She closed her eyes tightly for a second before looking to see who had written it.

Laura smiled smugly seeing what Mattie had tossed at Carmilla, “You’re the one who should be worried.” Laura stepped forward confidently, “Theres no way Carm will defend that company after she reads that.”

Mattie looked at Carmilla and was surprised by the expression on the younger girls face. It was almost like her eyes weren't focused on anything and she looked hurt, angry, scared, and tired all at the same time. When Carmilla finally locked eyes with Mattie the realization of the situation sank in.

_Laura was asking her to choose._

Carmilla swallowed back the lump in her throat but didn't say anything. She didn't know what to say. She loved Laura, but she also loved Mattie. She was stuck.

Mattie looked her over, almost like she was disappointed at the hesitation Carmilla was showing. “Is she right?” She shifted her weight on her feet when Carmilla failed to answer her, “Make sure you know how to swim before you start burning bridges Carmilla.”

With that Mattie turned and walked out of the apartment with just as much force as when she entered. The tension in the room was still high, and everyone seemed nervous except Laura.

“Carm you can totally do this.” Laura turned around to face her for the first time since Mattie had come in. “You have all this information from the board meetings you've been at, I can interview you, get the details that can take down the company once and for all.”

Carmilla dropped her gaze to the ground, “No.” her voice was low and quiet but what she said was unmistakable.

“What?” Laura looked shocked at the response.

Gathering her confidence Carmilla lifted her eyes to look directly at Laura, “No. I wont do it.” She shook her head and kept eye contact.

“What do you mean?” Laura took a step back, her face dropping from the excitement and surety it had moment ago to confusion.

“I mean no.” Carmilla wasn't quiet anymore. Her voice was firm, her conviction clear. “Do you even understand what you’re asking of me?”

They clearly had forgotten they weren't alone, or had just decided to ignore the rest of the people in the room. Perry tapped Laf’s knee and nodded towards the door. It was obvious it was time for the guests to leave. They all started to gather their things, trying to stay out of the way of the couple arguing.

“Carm you don’t understand. I need your help. We could take down the company if you would just—“

“Its not just the company Laura.” Carmilla lifted the newspaper up between them, “Do you realize my mother could be going to prison because of your article?” She shook her head and threw the paper down onto the coffee table. She turned to walk towards the kitchen and ran a hand through her hair, “Where did you even get this information?” She turned back around quickly to face Laura.

The others had made their way into the hallway, Danny being the last out. She shut the door as quietly as she could leaving the pair in the apartment to work things out.

“You mean the stuff about your mother?” Laura asked, her voice starting to waver.

“You overheard what I told Mattie, didn't you?” Carmilla asked, realization and betrayal written on her face.

“Well, I heard you talking then I did some research and—“

“And nothing, Laura!” Carmilla threw her arms out, “You jumped at the first opportunity to throw the company to the wolves, no matter who would get eaten first. My mother, Mattie, this damn company— they are all a part of me whether I like it or not. That doesn't just disappear because I love you.” She brought a hand up to drag down her face and shook her head.

“I thought that after you realized how corrupt everything was you would be on my side. You would choose the right side.” Laura stepped towards her hesitantly.This was blowing up in her face and she honestly didn't know what to do.

Carmilla was speechless. She didn't know how to respond so she just stood there, her eyes on the ground, trying to focus on her breathing.

“This cannot be happening again.” Her voice suddenly sounded broken.

“Carm..” Laura stepped closer, reaching out her hand to touch Carmilla.

She stepped back away from her, “No Laura. You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to ask me to choose between the woman I love and my family. I’ve been down this road before and it broke my heart. I can’t do this.” Her eyes were locked on the ground and she just kept shaking her head.She didn't know what else to do.

Laura stood in front of her, hurt that Carmilla had recoiled at her attempt to touch her, but overcome with guilt as she realized what she was asking of her. As if on instinct to try and save herself she started talking, trying to explain herself. “I thought that with you and your mother and your relationship that you would want to help. You would want to do the right thing. You would want to help take them down.”

Carmilla finally looked up. “You haven't listened to a single word I’ve said.”

Their eyes locked and it was like everything around them stopped. Panic was rising in Laura’s chest as she could practically see Carmilla shutting down. Shutting her out.

“I’m done.” Carmilla’s voice was full of sadness but surety at the same time. This was too much.

Carmilla turned and grabbed her keys from the counter and swung open the door. She stopped in the doorway, Danny was standing in the hallway and sheepishly stepped aside to let her by.

“Carm! Please, Carm!” Laura was following after her until she had walked out of the apartment. Seeing Danny in the hallway Laura stopped and let Carmilla leave without her.

“I just— forgot my jacket.” Danny whispered hesitantly, her face full of worry as she looked at Laura.

Laura reached up to wipe the tears that were now falling down her face and turned around to walk back further into the apartment.

“I can help.” Danny followed her in, desperate to try to make her feel better, “I know I can find out more at my office.”

“No yeah, that would be great. That’s really great.” Laura was trying to fight back the tears as she made her way to the couch and sat down. “That’s perfect, thank you, you’re great-“

“Laura..” Danny cut off her rambling and sat down on the couch beside her.

“Its fine, I’m ok. I just- um.” She ran a hand through her hair and tried to take a deep breath, “I just have a lot of things to do. So I need to do them. So I’m just— I’m gonna..”

Danny reached out her hand to rub Laura’s back, “Hey, it’ll be alright.” She nodded and tried to give her a reassuring look, “It’ll be alright.”

Laura finally gave in and let herself cry. Leaning over to let Danny hold her, she gripped onto her arm and fought to take breathes between quiet sobs.

——

It had been days since Carmilla had left the apartment and Laura had seen her. Laura noticed Tuesday night that her guitar and some of her clothes were gone, so she must had gone back to the apartment while Laura was at work.

Laf and Perry checked in on her Wednesday evening, bringing her some dinner. Which was probably a good thing considering Laura had mostly been eating ice-cream and cookies since their fight.

Danny had been over quite a bit, as well. Trying to help with Laura’s last article, but Laura wasn't as focused as she had been for the first two. It seemed like she kept running into dead ends. Luckily she had her interview with Vordenberg Wednesday afternoon that had gone surprisingly well. It gave her the good energy she needed to get herself focused again. Or at least enough new information to distract herself from thinking about Carmilla.

Vordenberg had been a part of the board for over 30 years. Apparently there had been a member of his family on the board since the company began. Something about his family and the Morgans being partners early on— Laura wasn't exactly sure on that part. Vordenberg had a tendency to get sidetracked and go off on tangents, often leaving Laura lost, and ending on topics that Laura had no real interest or need to hear about. He was pretty old, and Laura guessed needy for attention, just happy to have someone willing to listen to him talk.

After steering him back on topic more than a few times, Laura actually got some pretty good information from him that she desperately wanted to follow up on. He mentioned finance problems early on in the company’s development as well as conflict within the board over the years. Something to definitely look into. Everything he was saying, and everything she was finding was leading her right back to what she had found before. _Carmilla’s mother_.

This only complicated things further, knowing this was exactly why Carmilla and her hadn't been talking. Could she really write another article condemning Lilita Morgan and still have hope her relationship wasn't doomed? Lucky her final article wasn't due until after thanksgiving, which was just over a week away.

Thursday night came along and Laura decided she was done waiting for Carmilla to resurface. She was determined to talk to her. Needing some moral support, Danny had agreed to go with her to Silas, where Laura knew Carmilla would be playing that night. She had texted Will just to make sure.

——

**9:45 pm**

“Come on Laura. We’ve been sitting here for 20 minutes.” Danny drummed her fingers on the steering wheel and shifted in her seat.

Laura sighed and sank further into the passenger seat, “I know.” she grumbled in response.

“Come on Hollis. Girl the hell up.” Danny reached over and unbuckled Laura’s seat belt and reached across her, opening the door. Opening her own door she got out and stated walking across the parking lot towards the bar.

Laura hit her head back against the seat before reluctantly stepping out of the car and jogging to catch up to Danny.

“Well hello, ladies.” Will greeted them as they sat down at the bar. “You missed a good set, Carmilla was amazing tonight.”

Danny glanced over at Laura while picking up the drink Will had set in front of her. Laura looked beyond nervous. Her eyes were wide as she scanned the room, looking for Carmilla.

When she finally found her, she was sitting at a table talking to a man in a suit. The conversation looked serious but they both looked like they were smiling.

“Who’s she talking to?” Laura didn't turn to look away from Carmilla.

Will looked from Laura over to the table where his sister was sitting, “Thats Theo.”

Carmilla glanced over towards the bar and immediately spotted Laura. Embarrassed to be caught staring, Laura quickly turned to Will, “Are they friends?”

“Kind of.” Will leaned down on his forearms on the bar so he could get closer to the two girls, “I’m not supposed to say anything, but Theo is a buddy of mine from college. He was a Zeta like me and Kirsch. He works for a record company out in New York now and came to check out Carmilla and the band.”

Laura whipped her head around quickly to look back at the pair at the table. _New York?!_

“Carmilla didn't seem interested at first cause they are wanting her to go out to New York to work on an album. But Mattie has been bugging her to go back to work too and then she agreed to meet with Theo..” He stood back up and shrugged his shoulders, “So now i have no clue what she’s going to do.”

Laura could feel Danny’s eyes on her and turned to look at the red head. “I’m fine. Its fine.” She wasn't sure if she was trying to convince Danny or herself.

Danny reached out to squeeze Laura’s forearm that was resting on the bar just as Carmilla glanced back over to them. Laura saw her look over and swallowed hard at Carmilla’s expression. It wasn't exactly cold, but it was nowhere near the way she used to look at her.

Just then, the pair at the table stood up and shook hands. Laura couldn't hear them and she was awful at reading lips, but she continued to watch them. Theo let out a laugh and grabbed his jacket and made his way to the door, waving at Will as he left.

Laura watched him leave before looking back at Carmilla, who was watching her. They stared at each other for a moment before Carmilla turned and walked the opposite direction of the bar. Laura immediately hopped off her stool and quickly followed her.

——

**9:48 pm**

Carmilla saw Danny push her way through the door and Laura follow after her quickly with her head down. If she was being honest, she was disappointed it had taken the brunette this long to make an appearance. She would never admit that out loud, but still.

She turned her attention back to Theo. He was nice enough and he kind of reminded her of Kirsch. A little more proper, but that could just be the accent.

“I’ve shared your demo with my colleagues and they agree that we would love to have you all join us in New York to make some tests tracks.” Theo leaned forward onto his arms on the table, flashing an annoyingly perfect smile.

Carmilla smiled at the thought of actually getting to do more with her music than sing in a bar. She glanced over towards Laura and saw her watching them. Turning back to Theo she tried to act happy and casual in case Laura was still looking, “Yeah, thats great. I would have to talk to the band but I’m sure we can work something out.”

Was she really willing to go back to New York? Ever since Mattie showed up in town she had practically been begging her to go back to New York with her once this mess was taken care of. It had been a nice change of pace getting back into working. Granted, the reason for it could have been better, but going through files, creating theories, coming up with defense plans— There was a reason Carmilla was so good at her job. She actually loved it.

_But she still loved Laura. Could she really leave her?_

Looking back over she caught sight of Danny giving Laura’s arm a gentle squeeze and had to still herself. Theo stood, Carmilla following his move and extended her hand to shake his.

“Tell your brother thanks for letting me camp out in his bar all night to watch you guys.” Theo smiled and gave her a wink.

Carmilla forced a smile, “Hey, you’re doing him a favor. He finally got to prove he has actual friends, and not just ones he made up in his head.”

Theo let out a laugh and they exchanged goodbyes. As soon as he grabbed his jacket and turned to leave Carmilla turned her attention to Laura, who was watching Theo walk out.

Laura turned back around to face her and she knew immediately Will had told her what was going on. She could see the wheels turning in Laura’s head and her eyes were locked on her but hesitant. They looked the way they always did before she spilled her guts in a rant about feelings and what everything meant.

Carmilla knew she couldn't handle that so she turned and made her way to the bathroom.

——

Laura walked quickly through the door to the bathroom and stopped in her tracks as she came face to face with Carmilla. The door shut behind her and Carmilla took a step towards her, causing Laura to take a step back.

“Need something?” Carmilla tilted her head to the side slightly, keeping a straight face as her eyes locked on Laura’s. “Or have we graduated from investigative journalism to stalking?”

She took another step towards the brunette and Laura found herself backing up against the door. Laura swallowed hard, suddenly aware of how little she had thought this through. She heard the ‘click’ of the lock on the bathroom door and her mouth went dry.

“I just—“

Carmilla raised an eyebrow and stepped closer to Laura. They were inches away from each other and she could tell Laura was nervous. Laura tried not to think about how close Carmilla was to her. After not seeing her for nearly 4 days, her entire body was buzzing due to their proximity to one another. It didn't matter what had happened Monday night, she still felt that pull to Carmilla that she always did.

“I just thought, maybe we should talk.” Laura tried to keep her eyes on Carmilla’s but found it hard not to let them drop to her lips that were twisting up into a smirk.

She couldn't think of the word to describe Carmilla’s demeanor just right but it was _different._ It wasn't the gentle, loving behavior she had gotten used to during their relationship. It was almost like she had reverted back to her distant, flirty but guarded self she was before they had gotten to know each other.

“Talk?” Carmilla let out a low chuckle, keeping herself extremely close to Laura. “You mean like we ‘maybe should have talked’ before you wrote an article destroying my family company. Or ‘maybe should have talked’ before you practically sent my mother to prison?”

It was strange. The words Carmilla were saying could have been hostile but her voice sounded amused, not angry. And her eyes kept trailing the length of Laura’s body. It was like she was flirting but not the same way she did over the last few months. It was like she was playing a game, seeing how far she could push it, without actually expecting any kind of outcome.

Carmilla’s eyes lingered on Laura’s lips. Laura tried to read her face but was still distracted by how close they were. Until Carmilla looked up and into her eyes. Then she saw it. Carmilla was trying to play cool and distant, but her eyes betrayed her. They looked sad, lost, and tired. A stark difference to the smirk playing at her lips.

“Carm..” Laura whispered, her own expression softening.

Carmilla’s jaw clenched, the smirk disappearing, and her eyebrows twitching together slightly. It was as if the concern evident in Laura’s voice ruined the game somehow.

There was a pounding on the door that startled Laura, causing her to take a sharp breath in surprise. Then there was a ‘click’ from the lock and Carmilla took a step back. Laura felt the door being pushed into her and stepped forward to get out of the way. Whoever was trying to get in wasn't patient enough and pushed the door hard, shoving Laura into Carmilla’s arms.

Carmilla gripped onto Laura’s arms gently to steady her as the door being opened shoved her forward. Someone pushed past them and into one of the bathroom stalls.

“Sorry, I—“ Laura was regaining her footing and looked up at Carmilla’s face. Their was a brief moment where her guard had dropped and there was genuine concern in her eyes for Laura. It disappeared quickly, Carmilla cleared her throat and dropped her hands from Laura’s arms.

Carmilla looked as though she was about to say something when someone else came walking through to door and pushed their way between the two girls still looking at each other. That seemed to be enough to kill the moment and Carmilla turned and left.

Laura let out a deep breath and looked at her reflection in the mirror over the sink. She wasn't sure what had just happened, who who that girl was, but that last moment before she left, the Carmilla she knew was there. _And even after everything, she still cared_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: yoitsmeecass (in case you want to come say hey)


	15. Drunken Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> stuff happens! yay for stuff!

**10:00 pm**

Carmilla stormed out of the bathroom and made her way quickly to the door, not even acknowledging Danny or Will sitting at the bar watching her. She had to get out of there. She was still upset with Laura, the entire situation, and being around her only made it harder.

She had been staying with Mattie the last few days trying to gather her thoughts. She knew Mattie wasn't exactly the biggest fan of Laura, but she was still pretty good at being a distraction. But seeing Laura tonight, she knew she couldn't just avoid her forever. Plus she was running out of clean clothes and needed to go back to the apartment anyway.

Laura walked out of the bathroom a little less quickly and a little more distracted than Carmilla had. She made her way slowly to the bar and sat down next to Danny with a huff.

“Didn’t go well?” Danny asked eyeing the smaller girl carefully.

“What gives you that idea?” Laura grumbled and let her head fall onto her arm that was resting on the bar.

“Well Carmilla didn't exactly look happy when she stormed out of here and lets just say you are acting less than chipper—“

Laura looked up and gave Danny a glare, “I didn't actually want you to answer that question.” She sat up and gave Danny an apologetic look, knowing she didn't deserve to be snapped at just because things didn't go well in the bathroom. “Sorry. Do you mind just taking me home?”

Danny nodded and gave her shoulder a squeeze before getting up and following her back out in to the parking lot.

——

**10:25 pm**

“She wont even talk to me. I mean I get that she’s mad but she cant just ignore me.”

Danny was about to say something back to Laura when she noticed Carmilla walking up the front walk to the apartment building.

“At least she came home finally.” She shrugged.

“What?” Laura turned around in her seat quickly to look out the window at Carmilla. “Thanks for the ride Danny! I’ll call you later!”

This was good. She came home. That was something.

Laura got out of the car and waved to Danny as she ran up the front walk after Carmilla. By the time she got inside Carmilla was already standing in the elevator.

“Hey carm, wait up—“ Laura called out to her as she came through the front door.

Carmilla looked up from her spot in the elevator and raised an eyebrow at the brunette walking quickly towards her. She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back lazily against the wall, flashing Laura a smirk.

“Better hurry, cupcake.” She drawled sarcastically, watching Laura pick up her speed.

It was no use. The doors to the elevator shut before Laura could get there, the last thing she was before they closed was Carmilla, winking and wiggling her fingers in a wave at her.

Laura stomped her foot as she stepped up to the already closed elevator doors, “You’ve got to be kidding me.” She shook her head and groaned. She quickly looked over across the lobby to the door marked for the stairs and grinned, “Two can play that game.” she took off running up the stairs, determined to beat Carmilla to their apartment.

She burst through the door once she reached their floor and quickly checked the elevator— she had beat it! But just barely. She was still catching her breathe from running up the stairs when she heard the familiar ding and the doors start to open.

Quickly Laura stood up straight and tried to hide the fact that she was out of breath. When she was almost at her door and sure the doors would be completely open by now she turned around and stuck out her tongue in Carmilla’s direction.

The elevator was empty.

She rolled her eyes at herself and brought her tongue back in her mouth. _Great Laura, act like a child, that’ll show her._ Chastising herself didn't last long as she began to wonder where Carmilla had gone. She knows she was in the elevator when she started up the stairs, that smug smirk and annoying wink was burned in her brain. Its what gave her the energy to actually sprint the whole way.

She got to the door and it was still locked, so Carmilla couldn't have somehow beat her there. She made her way inside, setting her things by the door and looked around the room. The first two days of living in that apartment had been so perfect, it was odd to look around and have it feel so empty and sad.

——

**10:25 pm**

“Does she go anywhere without the giant?” Carmilla muttered to herself as she glanced over at Danny’s car, seeing her and Laura through the window. As soon as Danny noticed her she picked up her pace to get inside, she was hoping to get in the apartment and lock herself in the bedroom before Laura got home. _It was her apartment to begin with, its only fair she get the bed._

She stepped into the elevator and willed herself not to look at the ceiling. She didn't want to bring back any happy memories to soften her attitude. She was quite happy being angry, and was actually enjoying pushing Laura’s buttons again. It was oddly satisfying. She knew it was childish, but whatever.

Keeping her eyes locked on the floor Carmilla heard Laura’s voice call her name and glanced up. She was walking quickly towards the elevator. She felt her eyebrow raise amusedly and she crossed her arms over her chest, leaning back against the elevator wall, her classic smirk plastered on her face.

“Better hurry, cupcake.”

_This was too good_. She immediately noticed Laura’s eyes narrow and her cheeks pink. Not from the usual fluster or embarrassment, but from annoyance. Her speed picked up but it didn't matter, the doors were already closing. With one final wink and a wave of her fingers Carmilla chuckled to herself as the doors shut completely, leaving Laura in the lobby.

She could hear Laura on the other side of the doors, ‘you’ve got to be kidding me.’ and immediately felt a tug in her chest. She was being petty, childish, and she knew it. She wanted to be angry but couldn't help but feel bad for acting that way towards Laura.

She hadn't pressed any buttons so the elevator hadn't actually started moving yet. Letting out a sigh she pressed the button for the doors to open again, trying to compose herself for the elevator ride with Laura, but when the doors opened all she saw was dark blonde hair disappearing through the door to the stairs. Rolling her eyes at herself, Carmilla reached forward and hit the button for her floor. Standing there for a moment she felt her stomach tighten and it felt like her lungs weren't getting any air— _she needed to get out of there_. Just before the doors shut she stepped out of the elevator and darted for the door that led outside.

——

**11:45 pm**

Carmilla tossed another empty can over the edge of the building and reached down to grab another from the ground. She popped open the top and settled back down into her chair, throwing her feet up on the ledge. She took a small sip and let her head fall back against the back of the chair, eyes scanning the sky.

The lights from the city were bright and there was a light haze spreading over the skyline. She couldn't actually see the stars, and she couldn't decide if she was glad, or sad for it.

“Carmilla Karnstein!”

Carmilla rolled her eyes and sighed dramatically but didn't turn around. She knew who was standing there. And she knew why.

“Pippi Longstocking. This is the roof. The one place you refuse to go. Why are you here?” Carmilla drawled lazily, taking another sip of her beer.

“Twice! This is twice I’ve faced my fears for you Carmilla, so don't be uncivil.” Perry took a deep breath and started inching her way over to the dark haired girl. “And stop throwing empty cans over the ledge. We’ve been getting complaints.”

Perry lowered herself carefully into the chair opposite Carmilla and scooted it a few inches back further from the edge of the building. Carmilla rolled her head to the side along the back of the chair to look at Perry before bringing her can to her lips and taking another sip loudly. Perry rolled her eyes and sat up straight, her hands in her lap. She watched Carmilla carefully for a moment before turning to look out over the city.

“You know, despite it being incredibly high, and making me remarkably uncomfortable to be here, it does have quite a nice view.”

Carmilla chuckled humorlessly at Perry’s comment. “So, what? The brainiac decided to send Momma bear to make the sad lost kitty feel better? Her words were full of sarcasm and a hint of hostility that surprised even her.

Perry pursed her lips together in a frown before speaking softly, “Carmilla. Please don't do that.”

Carmilla let out a sigh and pulled her feet from the ledge and sat up. “Sorry. You didn't deserve that.” she glanced over at Perry quickly, apologies not really her thing, and lifted the can back to her lips.

There was a long moment of silence before Perry finally spoke. “You know, me and Lafontaine don't always get along.”

Carmilla turned to look at her a surprised expression on her face. _That was unexpected_. She didn't say anything, wondering if Perry would continue and if she did, where exactly this was going.

Perry was still looking out over the city, her shoulders relaxed a bit as she let out a heavy sigh, “Last month they nearly blew up our kitchen.” Her eyes went wide, eyebrows raising at the memory. “Thankfully the only thing that was lost was their eyebrows.” Perry let out a giggle, quickly lifting her hand to cover her mouth to try and hide it.

Carmilla’s jaw dropped, her eyes wide as she watched in amusement at Perry’s response to the story.

Perry glanced over with a smile on her face, “I was mad at first, but then I realized them losing their eyebrows was probably punishment enough.”

Carmilla finally let out a full laugh, “I remember that. They tried to draw some on but it only made it worse.” She smiled over at Perry as they both laughed at the memory.

After their moment of laughter, the pair grew quiet again and both looked out over the city. Somehow Carmilla didn't feel as angry as she had when she first came up to the roof.

Without looking over, Carmilla finally spoke quietly, “What do you do when its bigger than lost eyebrows and kitchen damage?”

Perry was quiet for a moment before standing and putting a hand on Carmilla’s shoulder gently. “You learn to love them through it. The way they love us through our own mistakes.” she gave her shoulder a squeeze before turning and making her way quickly back to the stairwell.

“Carmilla?” Perry called back from the doorway.

Carmilla turned in her chair to look at the red head, “Hmm?”

“I still expect you at Thanksgiving dinner next week. And I expect you to be civil to everyone in attendance.” She gave her a sharp nod before disappearing down the stairs, leaving Carmilla on the roof alone.

Turning back around Carmilla shook her head and rolled her eyes. _There was the Perry she was used to._

Carmilla sat by herself on the roof for a while. She stopped throwing her empty cans over the edge, it just didn't have the same appeal after Perry had talked with her. She was expecting to get yelled at, not to be given actually pretty good advice. Of course she still loved Laura. _That was the problem_. She couldn't walk away from her, but she couldn't walk away from the mess in front of them either.

She made her way back down the stairs to their apartment, fumbling with her keys in the lock, feeling a good buzz and just wanting to go to sleep. Finally getting the door open she stumbled through the door, throwing her keys towards the counter. They landed on the floor.

“Shit.” Carmilla kicked off her boots and walked towards her keys, bending over to pick them up. When she stood back up she misjudged how close she was to the counter and smacked her head on the ledge as she stood.

“Dammit!” she growled, her hand coming up quickly to press on the spot on the back of her head that had collided with the hard counter. She had never been a graceful drunk. She set her keys on the counter, rubbing the back of her head, and made her way to the bedroom. She opened the door slowly, checking to see if Laura was already asleep.

Carmilla leaned against the door frame and frowned. Light from the window illuminated the room enough for her to see her. Laying on her stomach, her arms tucked up underneath the pillow under her head. Laura had kicked the blankets low on her legs, one knee bent and pulled up to her side. She looked peaceful. Beautiful.

As quietly as she could, Carmilla stepped into the room and over to the bed. She sat down on the edge of the mattress and brushed a strand of hair out of Laura’s face, tucking it behind her ear. She reached down and pulled up the blankets to cover her up before grabbing the extra blanket on the foot of the bed and walking back out of the room, shutting the door behind her.

——

**7:45 am**

Laura finally emerged from the bedroom after getting ready for work. It was Friday, she was meeting with Vordenberg again, then she had all weekend to continue her research. Thanksgiving was next week and she had promised Perry she would go to the dinner she was planning for it, then she had only a few days before her final article was due. She needed to be serious and figure out how she was going to approach this final piece.

Tripping over a pair of boots in the middle of the floor, Laura rolled her eyes as she steadied herself and noticed Carmilla on the couch. One leg was hanging off the edge, an arm thrown up over the arm rest, and a blanket tossed haphazardly over her, pulled up over her head. She had to be uncomfortable, but somehow she was still sleeping soundly.

Throwing some bread in the toaster and turning on the coffee maker, Laura leaned back against the counter and looked over at the girl sleeping on the couch.  Laura was doing her best to stay quiet, she wasn't in the mood to have another argument with Carmilla. And from the looks of things— boots in the middle of the floor, a shirt thrown on the coffee table, and a few empty beer cans— She could tell she had been drinking the night before, which meant she would be even more unpleasant than normal when she woke up.

Laura’s toast popped up, pulling her attention and she quickly poured herself a cup of coffee to go. She threw her bag over her shoulder, wrapped her toast in a paper towel, coffee in hand and headed for the door. Her hand was on the door knob when she paused and looked back at the girl on the couch.

Rolling her eyes at herself she walked back over to the counter and set her things down. She poured some coffee into a mug, filled a cup with water and grabbed the bottle of tylenol from the cupboard. Carrying the two cups and pills over to the coffee table, she set them down and grabbed the few empty cans and took them over to the garbage.

With one final look over her shoulder, Laura sighed as she left the apartment and headed to work.

——

**7:53 am**

She knew it wasn't as loud as it felt, but the door shutting immediately sent a throbbing pain through Carmilla’s skull. She groaned and tried to sit up, instantly regretting it. Her head was pounding, her mouth was dry, and she felt like she might throw up. After taking a couple deeps breaths, she shoved the blanket off of her onto the ground and slowly sat up, shifting both legs to put her feet on the ground. She leaned forward, placing her elbows on her knees and dropped her head into her hands.

It took her a minute to remember why her head hurt more than usual— the counter. After pushing down the feeling of nausea she sat up and looked around the room. She knew it was still early, but wasn't sure how early. She had no idea where her phone was, she noticed her boots across the floor and her shirt on the coffee table. _When had she taken that off?_ Then she noticed the glass of water, cup of coffee that was still warm, and the tylenol.

Raising an eyebrow she wondered if she needed to thank her drunk self, or the tiny ball of frustration that she was now living with. After gladly throwing back a couple tylenol and downing the glass of water, Carmilla picked up the mug on the coffee table and sat back against the couch.

“I’m never drinking again.” She groaned to herself as she lifted the cup to her lips. After taking a sip and feeling the warmth travel down to her stomach she lifted a hand to rub her face.

She knew full well her drunk self wasn't nice enough to be responsible for the morning hangover remedy. It should have been a good thing— the fact that even after she acted like an ass, Laura was still willing to take care of her, even in just this small way. But instead, it made her feel sad. She didn't have too much time to think about it as she felt her stomach lurch and she nearly dropped her coffee as ran to the bathroom to empty her stomach.

——

**6:15 pm**

"Where the frilly hell is it?!" Carmilla yelled to herself. She picked up a pile of clothes from the floor and threw them across the room, searching for her phone.

After her night of drinking, Carmilla decided to work from home that day. She had brought her files home anyway, so why go into the office and sit with a bunch of old people when she could continue to throw up in the comfort of her own home.

She had spent hours going over the same pile of files. Receipts, audit reports, project request forms, over and over. She knew there was something there, she just couldn't figure out what. Carmilla had gotten frustrated enough that she decided she needed to take a break. It was Friday night, she knew the bar was packed, and she knew playing for a crowd would make her feel better.

With Laura’s things added to her own in the bedroom she found it harder to find exactly what she wanted. Looking for her favorite flannel and only finding cardigan after cardigan in the closet. Rabbits, cats, giraffes… its like everything she owned had animals on it. Just like almost everything the two owned was now covering the floor.

“Screw it.” Carmilla gave up looking for her phone and hopped over a pile of clothes on the floor and left the bedroom, shutting the door behind her. She grabbed her leather jacket and threw it on before grabbing her guitar and leaving the apartment.

Standing in front of the elevator swinging her keys on the ring around her finger, she waited rather impatiently for the doors to open. She was ready for another drink. And she was ready to think about anything other than this damn case or Laura’s article or how close her mother was to being thrown in prison.

She started pressing the down button frantically, determined to make the elevator move faster. Finally it gave the familiar ‘ding’ to signal its arrival and the doors started to open. Carmilla went to step into the elevator and nearly collided with Laura, who was about to step out.

They stood awkwardly in front of each other, neither taking another step in or out. They hadn't talked since the night before in the bar and it felt tense. Carmilla knew she should probably say thanks for the coffee that morning but couldn't form the words. Laura was watching the darker haired girl closely, trying to figure out if she was still playing whatever game she had been the night before. Not really sure what to say.

The doors of the elevator started to shut and bumped into Carmilla’s shoulder, somehow making the moment even more awkward. She tightened her grip on her guitar case and bit the inside of her cheek, her brain refusing to work to help her out of this awful moment.

“Hey.” Laura finally broke the silence, “You’re here. I wasn't sure— I mean you’re leaving obviously, but you came back. I wasn't sure if you were going to come back.”

The elevator tried to close again, the doors bumping into Carmilla once more.

“Of course I came back. I live here.” It came out more stern than she had meant, the tension and awkwardness of the moment messing with her emotions.

Laura sighed, her grip on her bag and notebooks hugged tightly in her arms loosening a bit, “That’s not what I meant.”

“Well creampuff, what ever did you mean then?” Her voice was smooth and taunting. The old Carmilla breaking to the surface. The game once again coming to play.

Carmilla couldn't help it, it was her defense mechanism. Be flirty and aloof and people wont try to break down any walls. It’s who she was before Laura, and its who she desperately wanted to be again. It was easier to ignore her feelings that way.

Laura could hear the change in Carmilla’s voice and the shift of energy. She wasn't in the mood to play any games with Carmilla and it was getting increasingly frustrating that she kept falling back into that whenever they talked.

“I don’t have time for this right now.”

“Then by all means, creampuff.” Carmilla stepped back, one hand keeping the doors open, the other sweeping out in front of her in a gesture to invite Laura to exit the elevator. Her eyebrow was raised, a smirk on her face, knowing she was pushing Laura’s buttons.

Laura clenched her jaw and nearly stomped out of the elevator and down the hall.

“Don’t wait up.” Carmilla called after her, stepping inside the elevator.

“Wouldn’t dream of it” Laura called back, not bothering to turn around.

“Good.” Carmilla leaned against the wall, narrowing her eyes.

“Good!” Laura yelled back before stepping inside their apartment and slamming the door.

The doors closed and the elevator started moving down to the lobby slowly. Carmilla’s smirk fell to a frown and she let out a breath. She let her head fall back hard against the wall, “God I’m an idiot.”

——

“Ughh!!” Laura let out a groan as soon as she was in the apartment, “She’s infuriating!”

She set down her things on the counter and stormed over to the bedroom, ready to change out of her work clothes. She opened the door and her eyes went wide. It was like the room had been struck by a tornado.

“You have got to be kidding me.” Laura practically whined as her shoulders dropped and her anger deflated to tiredness. Living with Carmilla while they weren't getting along was going to be harder than she thought.

——

**Saturday**

**12:15 pm**

Laura finally hung up the last shirt in the closet and smiled to herself. She didn't want to deal with the mess Carmilla left the night before and just pushed everything into a pile in front of the closet. But by late Saturday morning it was already driving her crazy and she spent a good amount of time putting everything away.

She had woken up alone in the bed again. She wasn't sure when Carmilla had gotten home and was only actually sure she _had_ made it home when she finally left the bedroom and found her asleep on the couch again.

Danny was coming over to help her with her article research some more that afternoon and a hungover Carmilla wasn't exactly the greeting she was hoping to give her. It was after noon and after the smart ass attitude Carmilla had been giving her, she didn't feel bad at all when she started making noise in the kitchen.

She pulled out a couple cookie sheets and bowls, her mixer and what she needed to bake some cookies. Maybe that would help everyone. Carmilla couldn't be mad if she had fresh cookies to eat, it may distract her from being a jerk to Danny, and it would make Laura feel a little better about all the help Danny had been giving her.

While making her cookies she could hear grumbling and dramatic sighs coming from the couch, but chose to ignore it.

“Do you have to be so loud so early in the morning?” Carmilla’s voice was thick with sleep and raspy, no doubt from singing at the bar all night. It wasn't angry or sarcastic, just sleepy. A nice break from the attitude she had been giving off the last few days.

Laura felt a pull in her stomach at the sound. Sleepy Carmilla was her favorite and her voice did things to her she didn't want to admit.

“It’s past noon.” She tried to sound unaffected and focused on her baking.

Carmilla shifted on the couch and kicked the blanket off of her onto the ground and stretched out her arms above her.

Laura looked up as the blanket fell, she swallowed hard when she saw Carmilla for the first time that morning. Her arms were stretched above her head, her tight shirt riding up to expose part of her stomach. Her hair a beautiful curly mess and her eyes looked tired but her expression was soft. She sat up and pushed herself off the couch and started moving over towards the counter.

Laura’s eyes trailed down Carmilla’s body as she walked, seeing her curves perfectly through her tight shirt, down to her bare legs. Laura knew she slept nearly naked on a regular basis but for some reason it shocked her that she was only wearing a shirt and underwear that morning. Her cheeks flushed and she caught herself staring. When she finally looked back up to make eye contact with Carmilla, her smirk was back.

She knew exactly where Laura’s mind had gone.

Deciding to take advantage of the current situation, Carmilla leaned her body over the counter. She kept her eyes on Laura as she reached into the bowl of cookie dough. Laura licked her lips as she watched Carmilla take a finger covered in dough and stick it in her mouth, pulling her finger back out slowly and licking her lips.

Carmilla gave her a wink and stood up and started to make her way to the bedroom. Laura watched her as she walked away, Carmilla gripping onto the hem of her shirt and slowly pulling it up and over her head as she walked towards the other room.

“You’re cookies are burning.” Carmilla said casually as she dropped her shirt on the floor and disappeared through the doorway.

Laura was still staring in the direction of the doorway when she smelled it. _Her cookies were burning!_ She grabbed the hot pad and quickly pulled the pan out of the oven, black charred cookies spread across it. She frowned and looked back at the bowl of dough that was left. There was just enough left for a small plate of cookies. She pushed the burned cookies off the pan and into the trashcan, placed the pan back on the counter and took her own finger full of dough and stuck it in her mouth and frowned.

_This was not going as planned._

——

**1:40 pm**

“Carmilla!” Laura hit her hand on the bedroom door a few more times, “I’m serious! I need to shower before Danny gets here!”

The door to the bedroom swung open quickly, Carmilla standing there wearing nothing but a smirk.

Laura’s eyes went wide and her mouth fell open. She shook her head and tilted it up to look above Carmilla, trying to not stare at her naked body.

Carmilla chuckled, clearly pleased with herself, “Nothing you haven't seen before, creampuff.” She turned around and walked over to the closet, starting to pull out things Laura had just finished hanging up early that morning.

Laura shut her eyes tight and let out a breath. Carmilla was right, _why was she being weird about her girlfriend being naked in front of her?_ She stood herself up tall, determined not to let Carmilla win whatever game she was playing, and walked over to the bathroom. She was about to shut the door to jump in the shower when she got an idea.

She pulled the door open wide and turned to face the shower. Laura glanced over her shoulder at the dark haired girl getting dressed, before slowly taking her own clothes off. She was doing her best to be ‘seductive’ but had to give up on that when she nearly fell over when her pants caught on her foot.

The sounds of Laura stumbling caught Carmilla’s attention and she turned just in time to watch her pull her shirt up and over her head. Carmilla’s smirk slowly dropped as she watched Laura carefully. Her eyes trailed up and down her exposed back then watched closely as Laura slowly folded her shirt and placed it on top of her folded pants on the counter. _Who knew being tidy could be so sexy?_

Feeling silly for trying to get Carmilla back, Laura turned to look over her shoulder to see if she was even being watched. The look on Carmilla’s face told her not only was she being watched, but she might actually be winning this round.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” Laura asked innocently, keeping her back to Carmilla.

Carmilla closed her mouth quickly and cleared her throat. “Yeah, I— uh, I’m—“

Laura giggled at Carmilla’s flustered response and watched as her face flushed red. Then Carmilla turned and rushed out of the bedroom without actually forming a coherent response.

——

_God she drives me crazy._ Carmilla shook her head to herself and started making her way to the door. She noticed the plate of cookies on the counter- the few that were left after most of them had burned earlier- and couldn't help the mischievous smile that formed on her face.

She grabbed a paper sac and dumped the plate of cookies into it before chuckling to herself and walking out of the apartment with a smile on her face. Whether it was from stealing Laura’s cookies or the memory of the Laura getting in the shower, didn't rally matter.

——

“Carmilla!!” Laura growled when she walked into the kitchen and saw the empty plate. “This is getting ridiculous.”

_Little did she know, it was only the beginning._

——

**7:30pm**

"She's insufferable Laf!" Laura huffed and dropped head down onto the table in lafontaine and perrys kitchen. 

"She's just being Carmilla." Laf shrugged and gave a knowing look to Perry who was sitting on the couch with a book in her lap.

"You don't get it. I mean I know how she is, but she's pushing my buttons just for fun at this point. She eats everything I make for myself, leaves dishes everywhere, her clothes are everywhere.."  Laura sat up and made a face Laf couldn't read at first.   

"Everywhere except on her body that is."

Perry giggled from the couch, surprising the pair at the table. Of all people to be amused by this, Laura did not expect it to be Perry. 

"I hate to do this but, is my old apartment still empty?" She looked at Laf with desperation, "I just, I don't want things to get worse and I don't know if us living together with all this going on is going to help."

Laf frowned slightly, knowing they hadn't rented the apartment yet but not sure if letting Laura move back into it was the best idea. They knew it wasn't really their decision to make though, "Yeah L, I mean we--"

Laf was cut off as perry stood up abruptly, "we already rented it!"

Laf's expression turned to one of confusion and they looked over at Perry.

"Right sweetie?" Perry gave Laf a look clearly wanting them to go along with what she was saying.

"Oh, right." Laf tried to shake the confusion from their face as they turned back to Laura, "that's what I was going to say. We already.." They glanced back at perry, making sure she was sure about this. Getting a small nod in return they continued, "We already rented it." They cleared their throat, "maybe you can find another way to create some helpful boundaries without moving out?"

"It might send the wrong message if you leave, anyway." Perry added, walking over to the table and putting a hand on lafs shoulder.  Laura watched them both carefully. She could tell there was some sort of communication happening that she wasn't picking up on, but even still she knew they were probably right. She let out a sigh and dropped her head back down on the table with a groan. 

\----

**Sunday**

**8:40am**

Carmilla stumbled through the door, sunglasses on, hair disheveled and carrying her boots.  Laura turned from the counter where she was sitting on a stool eating a bowl of cereal. She rolled her eyes at Carmilla’s appearance and turned back to the bowl in front of her. 

"What the creeping hell?" Carmilla took her glasses off her face and put them on top of her head as she looked around the room. 

There was a pile of clothes on the large arm chair in the corner-- her clothes. A blanket and pillow folded and stacked on the couch, her guitar leaning on the chair, and whatever she had lying around the apartment from the last couple days was pushed into a pile next to her guitar on the floor. 

"I thought we would get along better if we had some boundaries." Laura spoke without looking up from her food. 

“Boundaries?” Carmilla seemed almost amused as she shut the door behind her and tossed her jacket on the couch. 

“Yep” Laura replied a little too happily for Carmilla’s liking.

"And you thought you could just banish me from the bedroom?"

"Well obviously I'm the only one acting like an adult and not staying out all night, so it makes sense that I get the bed."  She glanced over at Carmilla to see how she was taking this turn of events. “Now you can be as messy as you want, as long as you keep it in your own space.”

“Oh my God. You mean that.” Carmilla made her way over towards where Laura was sitting, but still kept some distance between them. “Do you think it’ll work?”

“What?” Laura asked, genuinely confused as to what Carmilla meant.

Carmilla scoffed quietly, “Do you think, you're little ‘boundaries’ are going to solve things? That somehow it’ll make everything better and remove the fact that you’re hell bent on taking down my families company no matter what? Or keep you from having thoughts about me that you don’t want to have?”

Laura hesitated for a second, of course it was silly to think some simple boundaries would help things. This was bigger than someone sleeping on the couch.

“I’m pretty sure the beer soaked shirt is going to take care of that.” Laura turned back around to the bowl in front of her. Trying to ignore Carmilla’s stare that was locked on her. “What the hell right? Big sis is just planning on ruining all our careers anyway.”

“Not that its any of your business, but me and Mattie just had a little fun.” Carmilla looked down at her shirt that was in fact damp with alcohol from the night before. “And not that I care, but Mattie isn't interested in you or your career.”

“Classy.” Laura rolled her eyes and stuck another bite of cereal in her mouth.

Carmilla was about to say something when Laura’s phone started buzzing on the counter. She turned and made her way to the couch, putting her sunglasses back on and laying down on the cushions while Laura put her phone to her ear.

“Hello?” She mumbled around some cereal still in her mouth. “Slow down Danny, I—“

Carmilla glanced over trying to pay attention to the phone call without making it obvious. It seemed every time Laura tried to talk, she got cut off. Something must have the giant flustered.

“What do you mean you got an e-mail?” … “Who sent it—” … “But thats tomorrow.”

Laura glanced over at Carmilla who was watching her from behind her sunglasses.

“Well do you know what its about or are they just—“ Laura gave a heavy sigh, “Alright, I’ll meet you there.” She hung up the phone and set it on the counter.

“Have fun, creampuff.” Carmilla said lazily as she turned on her side and buried her face in the cushions.

Laura hung her head and tried to ignore Carmilla. _So much for helpful boundaries_.

——

Monday came quickly and the so called boundaries were actually helping. Kind of.  

Carmilla had stuck to them thus far and was keeping her mess fairly contained to the area Laura had given her. They hadn't talked much, but that meant they hadn't been bickering or arguing, which was also a good thing.  But there was still tension.  A lot of it. 

It was strange. It was like they would both make a small gesture to create some peace but somehow it always went wrong. 

The mystery email Danny had received was a short memo from the head of her department saying Morgan Industries was considering placing new management throughout the subsidiary companies— The one she and Kirsch worked for included. The meeting that was held that morning was short and was basically their employers avoiding answering questions and just trying to reassure the employees their jobs were safe. _For now._

This news made Laura want to get down to the bottom of what was really going on at Morgan Industries. Vordenberg had agreed to be her 'inside man' and had seemed thrilled at the idea of being a secret agent of sorts. 

He had sent her a lengthy email that day outlining that days board meeting as well as a few stories that had absolutely nothing to do with the issue at hand. That seemed to be a recurring thing with him. He did however provide some information regarding Morgan Industries intention to downsize their physical assets. Whatever that meant.

Laura had overheard part of a phone conversation Carmilla was having with Theo but not enough to know whether that was actually going anywhere or not. 

Basically everything was a mess.

——

Tuesday night Laura was making her way home from work feeling stressed. She had one more day till the long weekend before Thanksgiving started, and that meant her next article was due soon and she still wasn't sure how to approach it. She had tons of notes and research, but no outline. She was trying to find a way to write it that wouldn't make things worse for her and Carmilla’s relationship, but was having an hard time making that happen.

She walked into the apartment and was surprised to see that it actually looked spotless. Carmilla and Mattie were sitting together on the couch drinking what she was sure was ludicrously expensive wine and laughing. _Loudly._

“Miss Hollis” Mattie glanced over from her spot on the couch and took a sip from her glass, “You’re still here?”

Laura tried her hardest not to roll her eyes. It was impressive how Mattie didn't actually say anything mean, per se, but you still felt like you were being judged. Harshly.

“Yes, I’m still here.” Laura gave her a sweet smile and walked to the bedroom to put her things down and change her clothes.

She was about to walk back into the room with Carmilla and Mattie when she heard her girlfriend speaking quietly. So instead of joining them, she stood behind the door and listened.

“Mattie, don't.”

“I don’t see the harm, she's going to be gone sooner or later.”

“Whats that supposed to mean?”

Mattie was silent, at least as far as Laura could tell from her spot in the other room. She wondered if maybe it was best she stop spying before she got caught but then Carmilla started to talk again.

“Look Mads, do you know more than you're telling me? What good is selling the subsidiary companies before we even know what the fate of Morgan Industries is?”

“Its only a matter of time now, Kitty. Maybe if you had paid more attention when mother talked business, we would know how to get her out of this mess. But you were always too busy with whoever or whatever you were enamored with and now— Now you’re head over heels for Lois Lane. And I know you, this isn't meant to last.”

Laura felt her chest ache. Hearing Mattie talk about Carmilla that way— they had talked about their pasts before and she knew Carmilla’s dating history, but still. Having Mattie shrink what they had into a blip on the timeline of her relationship history sucked.

Mattie continued, “You don’t even see it, do you?”

“What are you talking about?” Carmilla’s voice sounded slightly defensive and for some reason that calmed Laura a bit.

“You nearly turned down helping this company, and your own mother, because of this girl— this mayfly, buzzing at you with her insect ideas of right and wrong.”

“Oh come on, I’m working the case, and you know what that’s doing to my relationship—“

“Exactly. How can this girl be a match for you?”

There was a pause and the ache in Laura’s chest grew once more. Did Carmilla not see her as someone who was good enough?

“She’s stronger than you think.” Carmilla’s voice sounded so sure.

With everything that had been going on, Carmilla’s faith in her surprised her, and she almost felt bad about that. Laura suddenly felt herself smiling. But that was cut short as Mattie spoke again.

“Of course. When you’re done with Nancy Drew, I’ll be waiting. I always am.”

Laura heard Mattie stand and the click of heels on the floor making their way to the door.

“It’ll be a long wait.” Carmilla called after her quietly.

Mattie chuckled, “I’ve got time. Ciao, bella.”

Laura heard the door shut from her hiding place in the other room and she pressed her back against the wall. Letting out a sigh, she let herself drop down to sit on the floor and pulled her knees up to her chest. _Maybe things with Carmilla weren't hopeless after all_.

Laura stood up and rushed into the other room, determined to talk to Carmilla about everything. After hearing her conversation with Mattie, she knew it was worth trying. The ‘game’ Carmilla and her had been playing needed to stop.

Laura came through the door quickly and stopped just a few feet in the room, suddenly very aware she didn't actually know what to say. Carmilla glanced over at her over the top of her wine glass. Seeing the look on her face Carmilla realized Laura must have heard her conversation with Mattie.

“Laura…“ Carmilla sat up and placed her glass on the table in front of her. She looked almost defeated as she looked up at Laura.

“Look—“ Laura interrupted, afraid if she didn't speak first she would lose her nerve.

But they both were with interrupted with frantic knocking on the door. Carmilla frowned as the knocking grew louder. Laura gave her an apologetic look and makde her way to the door. As soon as she unlocked it, Kirsch and Danny barged in, walking past her bickering with one another.

“I’m telling you Kirsch, you cant just email them back and say that.” Danny was shaking her head, her hands out in front of her, gesturing as she talked.

“Its a good idea. Why don’t you ever like my ideas?” Kirsch's volume matched Danny’s and he stood up tall, while his voice sounded slightly hurt.

Laura shut the door after they invited themselves in and followed them over to the couch. Kirsch had plopped down next to Carmilla, and after rolling her eyes, Carmilla had stood up and was taking her glass over to the kitchen. Danny sat down on the arm of the couch and turned to talk to Laura.

“We got another email.”

“Oh no. What did it say?” Laura asked, afraid she already knew the answer.

“Our company isn't just getting new management. They are going one step further with new _ownership_ and the first wave of layoffs could start after thanksgiving.”

Laura groaned and brought her hand up to cover her face. _Could things get any worse?_

“Everything was fine until Elvira's evil sister showed up. Cant you tell her to back off or go home or something?” Danny glared over at Carmilla who was standing at the sink. “Or are you too busy brooding and treating Laura like crap to help?”

Laura’s face dropped and she looked over at Carmilla to gauge her reaction to Danny’s statement.

Carmilla’s eyes narrowed at Danny but she kept her voice calm. “Did I not make sure you got your jobs back the first time? God, what more do you want from me?”

Without looking at Laura, Carmilla grabbed her jacket and stormed out of the apartment, leaving the rest of the group speechless and a little embarrassed for what Danny had said. She had helped them once before, and didn't even get credit for it. And after the overheard conversation with her and Mattie, who knows what else she has done to help them or keep them out of trouble.

——

**Wednesday**

Carmilla woke up and pushed herself up on the couch, her back popping multiple times as she forced herself to sit up straight. Sleeping on the couch was getting old, and so was dealing with all of Laura’s annoying friends. After leaving the night before, Carmilla spent a few hours walking around the city. Not really headed anywhere and not really thinking about anything. She just knew she needed air. She also wanted to make sure Laura’s friend had left before she went back home.

She grabbed her phone from off the coffee table and saw she had already missed a bunch of texts. Most of them from Perry, reminding her about thanksgiving dinner the next day. And one from Mattie.

**Mattie (7:43am): Meet me at the office. It’s urgent.**

It was just after 8 now so Carmilla got up and grabbed some clothes to change into quickly. She walked over to the kitchen to start some coffee and noticed the pot was already full, and still warm. Smiling to herself she poured a cup for herself, emptying the pot.

She was pulling on her boots when Laura walked out of the bedroom, clearly ready to leave for work herself. They made eye contact but didn't say anything. They didn't ever finish their almost conversation from the night before and an awkward tension hung in the air between them.

Laura gave a small smile as Carmilla stood and grabbed the cup of coffee from the counter. Laura was about to say something when she noticed the cup in the dark haired girls hands. Her smile dropped slightly and she looked at the empty coffee pot quickly.

“Hey did you—“ She looked back at Carmilla, who was taking a sip of her coffee and walking backwards towards the door, keeping her eyes on Laura.

Carmilla licked her lips and winked at Laura as she opened the door, “Thanks for the coffee, cupcake.”

With that, Carmilla was gone. Just in time to miss Laura balling up her fists and shaking them out in front of her. Just when she thought things were getting better, Carmilla had to pull a ridiculous move like that.

_Looks like Laura was getting coffee on the way to work today._

——

**10:55 pm**

_This wasn't happening._ Carmilla downed another shot and waved at Will to give her another. He walked over and reluctantly poured another shot and placed it in front of her.

_This can't be happening_. Carmilla threw the shot back and asked for another.

“Carmilla.” Will grabbed the glass in front of her but didn't move to refill it. “You’ve been sitting there for two hours. Will you just tell me whats going on?”

“William. Pour me another shot, or give me the bottle and I’ll do it myself.” She glared at her brother that was standing behind the bar.

“Kitty, don’t be like this.”

Carmilla sighed dramatically, “Fine.” She stood up abruptly, stumbling a bit as she tried to pull her jacket on.

Will sighed and rubbed his temples with his fingers, “Carmilla, wait. Let me drive you home.”

“Fuck you.” she frowned in his direction, “I’d rather take a cab.”

Carmilla stumbled out the door and into the parking lot. Ignoring the rain that was falling lightly, she started walking in the direction of her apartment building. She was actually glad for the rain, as it soaked through her clothes, and chilled her skin, pushing the memory of what had happened that day further back in her mind.

——

**1:00 am**

“Carm?” Laura spoke sleepily, her voice scratchy and quiet as she spoke into her phone.

“Cupcake!” Carmilla slurred, talking a little too loudly.

Laura pushed herself up to sit in bed and rubber her eyes. “Carm, its one in the morning, what are you doing?”

She could tell Carmilla was drunk and immediately started feeling annoyed. There was some rustling on the other end, it sounded like Carmilla had dropped the phone and Laura rolled her eyes. She let out a heavy sigh and waited for Carmilla to respond again.

“I cant find—“ another drop of the phone.

_God, how much did she drink?_

“I can’t find my keys.” Finally came through the speaker. Her voice wasn't the loud slur like before. It sounded sad, and almost a whisper.

Laura considered letting her struggle outside for a while before letting her in, but when she glanced out the window and saw it was raining she changed her mind.

“I’ll be right down.” Laura sighed as she hung up the phone and threw the covers off of her and half jogged out of her apartment with bare feet.

As Laura walked out of the elevator she saw Carmilla sitting on the front step with her back to the door. She was drenched. She picked up her pace and pushed the door open quickly.

"Carm, what are you doing?"

She didn't move. Her shoulders were hunched over and her head was dropped low. Something wasn't right. 

"Carm?" Laura stepped out onto the step and into the rain, bending over slightly to put her hand on Carmilla’s shoulder. 

The hand on her shoulder seemed to wake Carmilla from her thoughts and she lifted her head slowly to look at the girl standing behind her.  Her expression looked torn. A small smile forming on her lips, but her eyes looking sad and her body language making her seem completely broken. 

"Carm, come inside." Laura slid her hand off her shoulder down to grab her arm to pull her up. Carmilla stumbled a bit as she stood, grabbing onto Laura's arm to steady herself. 

"I can't find my keys." Carmilla finally spoke, her eyes locked on Laura's like she was searching for something in them. 

"I know, that's why I'm here." Laura couldn't help the chuckle that escaped her as she helped a stumbling Carmilla into the building. 

"Why are your clothes soaked? How long have you been sitting out there?" Laura wrapped her arm around Carmilla’s waist to give her support as they made their way to the elevator. 

"I just called you. Don't you remember?" Carmilla looked at her in disbelief. 

Laura rolled her eyes, "Yes I remember, but how long did you wait before calling me?"

"I didn't wait. I walked home." She leaned back against the wall and took a deep breath, hanging her head again. 

Laura looked at her surprised, it would have taken her over an hour to walk home from the bar. She hit the button for their floor and leaned back against the wall next to Carmilla, watching her closely. Carmilla leaned forward a bit and Laura reached up and absentmindedly started rubbing circles on her back.  Just as they were about to reach their floor Carmilla slowly started sliding down the wall in an attempt to sit down. 

"Oh no you don't. You can't sit down yet." Laura turned and grabbed her under both her arms and pulled her back up to stand. 

"But I'm tired Laura" Carmilla's eyebrows came together and she frowned as she closed her eyes.  

Laura had to stop herself from smiling from how adorable she looked. She was supposed to be mad at her still, after all. But this was one of those rare moment where Carmilla’s guard was completely down. 

"I know you're tired, but we are almost there." Laura pulled her against her body and wrapped her arms around her back, still holding her under her arms, to keep her standing. 

Carmilla dropped her forehead down onto Laura's shoulder and sighed. "What if I don't find it?"

"Find what? Your keys?" Laura asked not really thinking about it, assuming she was just drunk talking and not making sense.

The elevator doors opened and Laura shuffled herself and Carmilla out into the hall and over to their door.  She adjusted Carmilla in her arms and awkwardly reached for the handle to open the door. 

"The answer. What if I don't find the answer?" Carmilla’s words were blending together slightly and Laura could tell she was probably falling asleep right there in the hall.

She kicked the door open further and shook Carmilla in her arms gently to wake her up, knowing there was no way she could get her in the apartment without at least a little bit of her help. 

"Answer to what?" Laura asked absentmindedly as she grunted and half carried, half led Carmilla over to the couch. 

She dropped Carmilla onto the couch and she immediately sank back against the cushions and closed her eyes.  Laura stood up and put her hands on her hips.  She was going to have to help her change out of her wet clothes. 

Whatever she was mad at Carmilla for momentarily left her mind as she slowly started to pull her arms out of her jacket. She looked so helpless and vulnerable. It was hard to believe she was the same girl that had been purposely pushing her buttons for the last week. After getting her jacket off she knelt down and started to unlace her boots, pulling them off gently and setting them aside.

"Carm, sit up. You have to help me." Laura quietly pleaded as she took hold of the hem of Carmilla’s shirt and started to lift it. 

Carmilla opened her eyes and lifted her arms and leaned forward slightly, letting Laura pull her shirt up and over her head.  The movement was slow and gentle. A stark difference from the interactions that had happened between the two of them the past week.   Something in Carmilla awoke and she felt an ache and burning in her chest. As soon as her shirt was pulled completely off, she lowered her hands to her lap slowly, watching Laura carefully.  

Laura set the shirt aside and gently reached for the button of Carmilla’s pants. Her focus was on helping her and she was completely unaware of Carmilla watching her so intently.  Carmilla swallowed hard, suddenly feeling completely sober watching the girl in front of her take care of her so sweetly. 

"I can do that." She whispered, her eyes on Laura's.

Laura seemed startled as she pulled her hands back quickly and looked up to meet Carmilla’s gaze. 

"Ok." She whispered back and stood up. 

They watched each other for a moment before Carmilla finally looked down and started to undo her pants. 

Feeling awkward about just watching her, Laura turned and went to the pile of clothes to find a new shirt for the other girl. When she turned back around Carmilla was standing, folding her pants neatly and placing them on top of the shirt Laura had folded and set aside. 

Laura watched her until she finished and looked up at her. Laura could feel her cheeks start to warm and she couldn't figure out why. Why would this moment, helping a drunk Carmilla, make her blush?

Then she realized. It was the way Carmilla was looking at her. 

Laura licked her lips and stepped towards the dark haired girl that was watching her closely with half lidded eyes. 

"Lift your arms for me?" 

Without a word, Carmilla lifted her arms for Laura to help put the dry shirt on her. Getting it over her head, Laura pulled it down slowly to cover the rest of her torso. Carmilla looked down and pulled on the hem, adjusting it to sit comfortably on her.

The sound of the rain outside filled the room, only that and their controlled breathing could be heard as the two stood closely in the dark. Carmilla studied Laura for a moment, her eyebrows coming together and her head tilting slighty.

“You’re so beautiful.”

Laura was taken back by the sudden comment. Carmilla's tone wasn't flirty, or angry, but thoughtful. Sincere.

Carmilla sighed and sat down on the couch again and leaned over onto her side to lay down, “it makes it hard to be angry when you’re so beautiful.” She spoke around a yawn and closed her eyes.

Laura kept standing there, not sure what to do or if she should say anything. Carmilla was clearly drunk, and practically asleep, she probably wouldn't even remember this in the morning. She watched her for another minute as Carmilla made herself comfortable and her body slowly started to relax.

“I’ll find the answer.” Carmilla mumbled sleepily.

Laura remembered their half conversation in the elevator and wondered if maybe there was more to it than just drunken ramblings.

“Answer to what, Carm?” She whispered as she squatted down next to Carmilla and brushed some hair from her face.

Carmilla blindly reached out her hand and took hold of Laura’s, bringing it to her lips. She placed a soft kiss in the palm of Laura’s hand, “of how to fix this.” she whispered, her lips brushing against Laura’s skin.

Laura brought her free hand up to cover her mouth, surprised by Carmilla’s answer, her heart started to pound in her chest. She sat down on the floor next to the couch, not wanting to let go of Carmilla’s hand until she was ready, and just watched as Carmilla fell asleep. The longer she was asleep the lighter her grip on Laura’s hand got until eventually she let go completely.

Laura sat there a few more minutes, tucking stray hair behind Carmilla’s ear and brushing her thumb lightly on her skin. _Maybe they could find the answer together_. Deciding she better get some sleep to survive the Thanksgiving festivities the next day, Laura stood up and walked quietly back to the bedroom and climbed into bed.

She laid there for a while, staring at the ceiling. Maybe she had been going about things all wrong, maybe instead of fighting with Carmilla, she should have been trying to work with her. Why did it take a completely drunken conversation to make her realize how much they were both actually hurting?

Suddenly the bedroom door slowly started to creak open, a sliver of light coming in from the other room. Laura sat up on her elbows and watched as Carmilla quietly walked in and shut the door behind her. Laura settled back down onto her pillow and watched Carmilla make her way over to the bed slowly. She pulled the covers back and hesitated a moment before climbing in next to Laura and laying on her back.

They both stayed that way, staring at the ceiling, not touching, and trying to breath quietly for what seemed like forever. Laura turned her head to look at Carmilla in the dark to find Carmilla was already looking at her. Without a word Carmilla rolled to her side and scooted over to press herself into Laura’s side.

Laura immediately lifted her arm to wrap it around Carmilla as she snuggled her face into the crook of her neck and let out a heavy breath. She scratched up and down the dark haired girls back gently as they settled into the bed further.

“You ok?” Laura whispered, pulling her in tighter against her.

Carmilla let a breath out slowly, “I just— I needed something to hold onto.”

Laura felt her heart tug and she leaned her head down to place a kiss on the top of Carmilla’s head. It didn't matter if she remembered this in the morning, Laura wasn't going to let her go. She hugged her tighter and started humming until they both slowly drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: yoitsmeecass (in case you want to come say hey)


	16. Thanksgiving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanksgiving yo..
> 
> Theres a song... its linked but if you want to look it up, Daughter - Shallows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this chapter is shorter than they have been recently. This one was super hard to write for some reason, so sorry if its not as good. The next one should be better though.

**9:00 am**

She couldn't breathe. Carmilla tried to scream but it was like she was under water. The harder she tried, the tighter her lungs clenched. She threw out her arms in front of her, reaching, searching for anything to hold on to. It was like she was falling, so slowly, but too quickly. All she could see was darkness and all she felt was panic. Her chest tightened and her limbs felt numb. Something shattered around her and she was covered in its pieces.

 _Cold. Sharp. Unforgiving_.

With the last bit if strength she could muster, she willed her arms to move. Focusing on her hands she grabbed hold of something and immediately felt fire race through her body. Not a flame to burn her up, but to ignite her. Pulling it close the fire built within her. She tightened her grip, holding on like her life depended on it. Falling turned to floating. Panic slowed and breathing became easy. The tightness of her chest easing and the darkness shifted to reveal shining galaxies as far as she could see.

She felt air brush her face and words being whispered she couldn't quite understand. It echoed again, _"it's ok",_ flaming the fire within her, warming her through. Her grip on her anchor tightened, Carmilla could only look at the stars that surrounded her. Her grip was still tight and she tried to see what she was holding onto, what was keeping her grounded, only to realize her eyes were closed.

The space between sleep and being awake, Carmilla willed her eyes to open. The memory of the panic she had moments before making her wish to be awake. She heard the muffled whisper again and forced herself to wake up. Wake up.

_Wake up!_

Carmilla’s eyes flew open, her breathing rapid with the quick rise and fall of her chest. She could feel the perspiration on her temples and her knuckles hurt. She looked at her hands, one clenched in the sheets covering her, the other twisted tightly into Laura’s shirt.

“Shh, its ok..” Came the echoed whisper from her dream. _It was Laura_. She had her arms wrapped around Carmilla tightly, one hand brushing gently through her hair.

Carmilla looked up at the brunette holding onto her to see that she was still asleep. Or mostly asleep, anyway. Her whispered comfort easing the panic that had risen in Carmilla chest once again.

Carmilla loosened her grip on the sheet and Laura’s shirt and took a deep breath. She would be lying if she said she wasn't glad to wake up in Laura’s arms after sleeping alone on the couch for the last week. But she also couldn't remember exactly how she had gotten there, things from last night were blurry, and she wasn't sure what actually happened and what was a dream. Deciding not to think about it in that moment, Carmilla let herself sink further into Laura’s embrace. She had missed her.

Her giggle and the way her eyes lit up when she smiled. Her smile. _God, her smile._ Her smile out shined the sun. And the way she chewed on the end of any pen that was in her hand. Her million flavors of chapstick. The way she swore, but almost only when they were stuck in traffic. The way she would squeak when she yawned, and sang Carmilla’s songs. The way she tucked her hair behind her ear. The way she said I love you. _She missed her_.

Feeling the dull throb in her head start to grow, Carmilla knew her lack of memory was from the amount of drinking she had done the night before. It probably wasn't the best idea, but it was her way of avoiding dealing with reality. The pounding in her skull was proving that avoidance was only temporary.

Reluctantly she sat herself up, leaving the comforting embrace Laura had given her through the night, and pulled her knees up to her chest. She sat there, next to Laura, and watched her sleeping. She was so beautiful.

——

**9:47 am**

Laura's phone began buzzing across the bed side table, causing the brunette to stir in the bed.

"Ugh Carm, turn off the alarm.” she mumbled sleepily, tugging on the blankets, pulling them up over her head.  

When the buzzing continued, she rolled to her side to look at the other side of the bed— it was empty.  She quickly pushed her self up into her elbows, struggling to keep her eyes open and looked around the room. Also empty.  She reached her hand over and felt the empty sheets next to her to find them still warm. 

 _So it hadn't been a dream_. 

The buzzing happened again and Laura looked over to see her phone was ringing. Rolling over she answered and pressed it to her ear, laying back down in the bed. 

"Hello?" She wasn't even attempting to hide the sleep in her voice. 

"Hi pumpkin!" Her dad greeted her cheerfully, "oh no, did I mess up the time difference again?"

Laura smiled, "hey dad, no it's fine, I was just about to get up. What's up?"

"Happy thanksgiving!" She heard a bunch of people yell together over the phone.

She heard her dad chuckle and couldn't help but smile.  The Hollis annual Thanksgiving Day party must be in full swing.  She was sad she had to miss it this year, she loved getting together with her many cousins and aunts and uncles. But if she was going to make it home for Christmas, she had to stay in LA for thanksgiving. 

"Everyone is sad you aren't here. But I told them you’re a big reporter now and had important business to take care of.” Her dad was cheerful and obviously very proud of her, but Laura could hear a slight sadness in his voice. 

Moving away from home hadn't only been hard on her, it was obvious he missed her just as much. Their phone calls had started getting further and further apart as life got busy and Laura always felt guilty for that.

Laura sat up and swung her legs off the bed, "Me too, dad. Tell everyone hi for me?” She rubbed her eyes with her palm, trying to wake herself up.

“Sure thing, sweetie. You’re getting a proper Thanksgiving today right?” Laura could hear kids screaming in the background and dishes clattering as her aunts were surely making their salads, rolls, and her favorite— pie.

“Yeah, I’m actually having dinner with a bunch of really good friends. I’m in charge of dessert.” Laura stood up and made her way to the bathroom. Turning the phone on speaker, she set it down on the bathroom counter. She turned the faucet on and filled her hands with cold water before splashing it on her face.

Her dad had launched into telling her how the morning had gone— the new significant others of her cousins that had been brought to meet the family, Uncle Dave’s newest adventure and a story about her grandma trying to jump on the trampoline with the grandkids.

Laura was only half paying attention to her dad, her thoughts were more focused on the night before. Seeing Carmilla sitting on the front step, drenched and looking broken. She didn't know what had happened yesterday to make her act that way, and last night wasn't the time to ask. And if she was being honest, she was disappointed she woke up alone that morning.

Even though she knew Carmilla wasn't completely sober when she had climbed into bed with her and they had fallen asleep in each others arms, it was still comforting having her there. It was the first time she actually slept well since their fight a week ago. She missed her.

Her soft skin, her smell, the way she held on to Laura like her life depended on it. The way each kiss felt like she was completely pouring herself into it. The way her fingers danced across exposed skin so gently, as if to memorize Laura’s body. The way she looked at Laura when she didn't think she was watching. Her voice in the morning and how she practically purred when Laura stroked her hair or scratched her back as she fell asleep. The way she said I love you. _She missed her_.

“Laura?” Her dads voice brought her back from her thoughts.

She had been clutching the counter and staring blankly at her reflection. She wasn't sure for how long, but long enough that her dad realized she wasn't paying attention to him anymore.

“Yeah, sorry— I was, I was just washing my face.” Laura shook her head at herself, looking away from her reflection and picked up the phone again.

“Is everything ok, Laur?” Her dads voice was laced with concern and she could tell he was moving to a more secluded place in the busy house.

Laura sighed and sat back down on the edge of the bed. “I’m not sure, dad.”

“Why don't you tell me about it, kiddo.”

——

**9:47 am**

Carmilla shoved her hands in her jacket pockets as she stepped outside back into the rain. She made her way over to the car waiting at the curb and hopped in quickly, getting out of the rain. She shut the door and sighed, rubbing her palms down the front of her jeans.

“Thanks.” She sighed dramatically, as if the word physically pained her to say, “For the ride I mean.”

“No problem.” Will shrugged and shifted the car into drive.

They drove in silence for a while, Carmilla watching out the window and Will keeping his eyes on the road in front of them. They were used to silence, being as close as they were they had a sense of when to push and when to be patient with each other. Even though Will was obviously worried, he knew Carmilla would talk when she as ready.

“Kirsch invited me to thanksgiving dinner today.”

Carmilla nodded but didn't say anything in response.

“You going to be there?” Will glanced over at her quickly.

“Will.” Carmilla sighed and looked over at him. “I’m sorry.”

Will looked over, looking confused, “For what?”

“Last night. I was an ass.” She shrugged nonchalantly.

Will let out a laugh, “yeah, you were.”

Carmilla reached over and punched his arm, trying to hide a small smile.

“I wasn't sure you were going to remember.” Will chuckled, rubbing his arm where Carmilla had hit him.

“Trust me, I wish I didn’t.” Carmilla looked back out the window.

Will glanced over, noticing the quick mood change and frowned, “You know you can tell me whats going on, right?”

Carmilla nodded slowly, keeping her eyes on the rain falling outside. They pulled into the parking lot at the bar, stopping next to Carmilla’s car. Will put the car in park but left the engine running. After sitting in silence for a while, Will guessed she wasn't ready to talk and reached into the cup holder, lifting up a ring of keys. Carmilla raised an eyebrow and glared at Will.

“Sorry. I stole them last night.” Will shrugged and gave her an apologetic smile.

Carmilla reached over and grabbed the keys and brought them down to her lap. Playing with the keys in front of her she let out a deep breath, “I need to tell you something.”

——

**12:45 pm**

“Perry? I thought I was in charge of dessert?” Laura walked into the kitchen, placing her (store bought) pies on the counter next to the 3 (home made) pies already there.

“Oh! You are silly! You just never know, and you can never have enough pie! Right Lafontaine?” Perry was fluttering around the kitchen stirring and testing and chopping like a tornado.

“Right Per.” Laf answered absentmindedly from the living room. They were sitting on a chair across from Kirsch, playing a game of chess.

Laura looked around the room, Kirsch was on the couch, staring at the chess board with more concentration than she had ever seen on his face before. Danny was sitting next to him, leaning back on the couch sipping on a beer. The tall red head would shake her head and offer a quick, ‘nope’ or ‘try again’ whenever Kirsch would go to make a move. Laf was across from Kirsch with a wide grin on their face, obviously winning their game.

It was definitely different than the usual Hollis Thanksgiving, but it still felt like she was with family, and she was grateful for that.

There was a quiet knock on the door before it started opening. Will peaked his head in with a smile, "Is this where the food is at?"

Kirsch jumped up from the couch, conveniently knocking into the table and messing up the game pieces, "Bro! You made it!"

"Gah! Kirsch! I was about to destroy you!" Laf sat back in their chair with a frown. 

Will walked in with a chuckle, "I wasn't sure if I was supposed to bring anything so.." He lifted his arms, sacks in both hands, "I brought alcohol."

"That's just perfect William, thank you!" Perry smiled warmly, rushing to take the drinks and place them in the fridge before scurrying back to the stove.  

"Yeah, cause what's a holiday without a group of drunk people?" Laf chuckled and started setting the pieces back up on the chess board. "Laura, you want to go?"

Laura had been stranding awkwardly in the middle of the room.  She was hoping Carmilla would be with Will, but it seemed he was alone.  She forced a smile at Laf and walked over to the couch, "I've never been good at this game."

Laf shrugged, "That's ok. You can't be worse than kirsch."

Kirsch turned around with a hurt expression, "Not cool bro.”

After greeting everyone in the room Laura sat on the couch opposite Laf and moved a chess piece, “Does Perry need any help?” She glanced over at the red head moving incredibly fast around the kitchen, doing 10 things at once.

“We’ve all offered, she just kicks us out.” Danny laughed and leaned forward, she moved one of Laura’s chess pieces for her, blocking Laf’s intended move, earning a wide smile from Laura and a groan from Laf.

——

**12:45 pm**

Carmilla sighed and leaned her elbows on the table in front of her, letting her head fall into her hands.

“Carmilla.”

Carmilla looked up, an automatic reaction that has been there for years. When her mother said her name, she knew better than to ignore her.

“Thank you.”

That was not what she was expecting to hear. Carmilla’s eyebrows came together, “What do you— I mean, you're welcome?” She wasn't sure how to respond.

“I know this isn't an ideal situation. And considering our relationship and the fact that you gave up on this when you left New York, I can imagine its not what you would like to be doing with your time.” Carmilla’s mother spoke with a firm voice, as always, emotion wasn't something that emanated from her. But it seemed sincere.

Carmilla sat up and leaned back in her chair, eyeing her mother curiously. There was a silence between them but it seemed to be comfortable. There was nothing else that needed to be said, and frankly, more had already been said than Carmilla was expecting in the first place.

“Well, like I said, as long as the board is behind you we shouldn't have to take this to court. Mattie is already working on publicity to fix everything from yesterday as well as covering our bases with the smaller companies.” Carmilla studied her mothers face closely.

Her features were sharp, not necessarily cold, but not warm by any means. Her posture was stiff and proper. Her eyes were looking down slightly and her lips were pressed firmly together. Absent of emotion. Like Carmilla was used to. She could actually remember the last time she saw her mother smile. Years. It had been years, and her heart ached because of that. What happened to the warm woman she once was? Being around her so much during all this chaos was bringing back memories she thought were long forgotten. Memories before she grew to be the woman sitting in front of her. So cut off, distant.

Clearing her throat, she came back to the topic at hand, “If you think of anything else- Anyone that would want to, or would be able to do this, you need to tell me.”

Her mother finally looked up and into Carmilla’s eyes. “I understand.”

Silence settled between them once again, feeling uneasy Carmilla checked the time and realized she was late for lunch with everyone and stood up to leave. She packed up her bag and slung the strap over her shoulder. Turning to leave she stopped in the doorway of the large office for a moment. She gripped the door frame and forced herself to turn around.

“It’ll be okay, mom.” Carmilla swallowed hard at her own words. Hoping they were true.

Lilita sighed, her shoulders relaxing a bit as the smallest smile crept onto her lips as she whispered, “Thank you.”

——

**2:10 pm**

“Shit!” The front door burst open abruptly and Carmilla stumbled in. She stomped in the room water falling from her shoes and jacket, her eyes on the floor, clearly trying to regain her balance.

Everyone around the table turned to look at her, silence filling the room. The group had already started eating, after waiting a while for Carmilla to show up. Lunch was supposed to start at 1, and by 1:30 Perry was nearly having a nervous breakdown about things going cold and the schedule of lunch and dessert being off.

When Carmilla finally looked up with a scowl on her face and saw everyone staring at her she cleared her throat and straightened her shirt, “The door was stuck.” She mumbled as she made her way to the empty chair at the table, conveniently next to Laura.

She sat down and looked around the table at the group still watching her, her eyebrows raising and eyes going wide, “What? Eat or something.”

“Perry, these mashed potatoes are amazing.” Will broke the awkward silence, shoving a spoon full in his mouth, “They are so… mashed.” He spoke around a mouth full of food and nodded excitedly.

Everyone else caught on and laughed, breaking back into conversation and eating the meal set out on the table in front of them. All except Laura.

Carmilla was still getting settled in her chair and looking around the table, Laura sat next to her with her hands in her lap watching the dark haired girl. Carmilla felt eyes on her and turned to look at Laura with a slightly smaller scowl than the one she had a few minutes ago.

Laura bit her lip before smiling and shrugging her shoulder, “Hey.” She spoke quietly so the rest of the table couldn't hear.

“Hey back.” Carmilla’s face relaxed and for the first time all day the panic living in her chest began to relax. _How did she do that?_

“You left pretty early this morning.” Laura picked up her fork and started to push her food around her plate, keeping her eyes on the table.

It was torture not knowing what Carmilla remembered from the night before. Or knowing what she thought when she woke up in bed with Laura for the first time in a week. Was she glad? Angry? Confused? The fact that she was gone before Laura woke up left Laura feeling nervous and not sure how to proceed. Up until last night they were barely talking and when they did talk it was laced with frustration. Did last night change things? Or did Carmilla not remember last night at all and were things back to how they had been lately?

“Uh- yeah.” Carmilla reached out to grab a spoon to start dishing out food on her plate, “I had to take care of something.”

Laura looked up and saw Will watching the pair closely, like he was waiting for something. She glanced from him to his sister, and really took in her appearance. She looked tired.  Laura smiled sheepishly when Carmilla glanced over at her, shoving food into her mouth and raising an eyebrow. Laura cheeks turned pink and she quickly turned back and joined the conversation at the table.

Laura and Carmilla shared a few more stolen glances, but didn't talk much the rest of the afternoon. Carmilla was actually pretty much silent after her grand entrance. Her mind seemed to be somewhere else, and the group was thankfully allowing her to just keep in the background. Somehow Laura felt a bit of comfort knowing Carmilla hadn't just left all together. That even though she was clearly not participating, she was still there.

They were all sitting around the living room, Will and Kirsch laying on their stomachs on the floor arm wrestling. Perry and Lafontaine sitting together on the large lounge chair, Danny kneeling on the ground next to the boys, refereeing the arm wrestling match happening. Leaving Laura and Carmilla on the long couch. They started on opposite ends, but Laura was slowly inching her way towards Carmilla, shifting her position every few minutes as her ‘sneaky’ way of moving closer to her.

Carmilla watched as Laura shifted, yet again, and moved herself over a little further on the couch. She rolled her eyes at the brunette and let her head fall back onto the cushion behind her. This whole day had been ridiculous. She couldn't believe she had put up with these goofs this long, but she didn't really want to be alone either.

“Come on, Will!” Danny shouted as she smacked her hand on the floor a few times, watching the guys strain to win the match.

“I’ve got five bucks on Danny” Laf leaned forward so Laura could hear them over the yelling happening on the floor.

“Danny isn't even in the match.” Laura chuckled and shook her head back at Laf.

“No, but five bucks says she hits one of them before the match is even over.” Laf sat back with a wide grin and let out a big laugh.

Laura rolled her eyes and glanced over at Carmilla to see if she found it just as amusing, her smile faltering slightly at the sight. Carmilla’s head was dropped back, her eyes closed but her eyebrows pushed together. Her hands were in her lap, but clenched into fists, her breathing slow.

Using the fact that her eyes were closed, Laura moved across the remaining space on the couch and slowly lowered herself onto the cushion next to Carmilla, leaving just a few inches between them. She reached out and placed her hand on Carmilla’s thigh, “Carm?”

Carmilla sat up quickly and instinctually moved her leg away from the touch. When she realized what she did and who she pulled away from, she regretted it immediately. Laura pulled her hand back quickly, clasping her hands together in her lap and looked down to stare at her fingers.

“Sorry, I-“ Carmilla leaned towards her, speaking softly. She let out a sigh and frowned, mostly at herself. She was still feeling off from yesterday, and even though her and Mattie had managed to calm things down, for today at least, she knew things were far from resolved.

“Its ok.” Laura shook her head quickly, “I just wanted to make sure you were ok? After Last night—“

Both Kirsch and Danny’s phone chimed, nearly at the same time, interrupting the conversation between Laura and Carmilla, and the arm wrestling match still happening on the floor.

Kirsch looked to his phone on the table and Will took it as his chance to finally drop his arm to the ground, beating kirsch at the match. Danny hollered her approval and gave Will a high 5.

“Not fair, bro! I was distracted!” Kirsch pushed himself off the floor and walked over to his phone.

Laura’s attention had been pulled to the group on the floor with all the commotion and she turned back to Carmilla, to find the dark haired girl still watching her intently, apparently ignoring everyone else in the room.

Carmilla’s expression softened, her eyes looking tired but hopeful. She was tired of fighting. Last night made that perfectly clear. She wanted to be able to lean on Laura, she was desperate for her.

“Danny. Check your phone.” Kirsch threw her phone across the room to her.

The use of her actual name made the whole room pay attention. Kirsch never used actual names.

“Oh my god. We did it.” Danny slowly stood up, her eyes locked on the screen of her phone.

Laura looked between the two tall friends, “Wait, did what?”

Just then Wills phone started to ring. He sat up and pulled his phone from his pocket, “Its Mattie.” He looked over at Carmilla with a confused expression.

Carmilla quickly stood and patted her pockets— they were empty. She walked over to the door where she had dropped her bag and started going through it, her phone no where in sight.

“Vordenberg got the board together like we suggested and they decided to pull Morgan from her seat at the head of the board, putting Vordenberg in charge.” Danny was talking quickly, still looking at her phone.

Hearing Danny’s words, Carmilla stood up straight quickly and turned to face the group in the other room, her body going stiff as she listened carefully.

“No way!” Laura pushed herself to the edge of the couch, looking up at Danny with a smile.

“After your article, and apparently something went down yesterday, they decided it wasn't good to have her in charge and she's out.” Danny continued.

“Wait, what are you saying Mattie?” Will finally spoke, standing and moving across the room towards Carmilla, pushing past Danny.

Laura saw the panic in Will’s face as he passed her and turned to look at Carmilla, realizing Danny just announce to the room that Carmilla’s mother basically just got fired from her own company.

Laf and Perry were trying to pay attention to what was happening but everyone was talking at once, some looking worried, others elated. They were only half way following what was going on— Vordenberg was now the head of the board. Carmilla’s mother was taking the fall for the company problems and had been removed from her position in charge. Will was talking to Mattie, about what they weren't sure of yet, but it didn't look good.

Will handed the phone to Carmilla and she turned around to face the wall, talking quietly enough that no one could hear. It didn't matter though, Danny and Kirsch were actually hugging, and Laf and Perry got swept up in the excitement and had wrapped they arms around the pair as well.

Laura had stood up but felt stuck- on the one hand she was excited her plan to help save Kirsch and Danny’s jobs by getting Vordenberg in charge had actually worked. But on the other hand— she wasn't sure what this meant for Carmilla’s mom. Or her and Carmilla. All of that had happened before last night. Before she had helped the broken girl inside and out of the rain. Before the gentle touches, unguarded looks, and falling asleep with her in her arms.

Carmilla shoved Wills phone into his chest and disappeared out the door without a word. Will followed her into the hallway, shutting the door behind him.

Laura walked quickly to the window that looked out to the front of the apartment building and saw Carmilla walking quickly towards her car, clearly upset and ignoring the pouring rain. Laura rushed over to the door, ignoring the group talking loudly in the middle of the room and was about to open the door when Will cam walking through a distraught look on his face.

“What happened? Where is she going?” Laura moved to go outside, but will stopped her by gripping onto her arm.

“Just let her go this time, Laura.” Will shook his head, a pleading look in his eye.

“What do you mean let her go?” She pulled her arm out of Wills grip, looking up at him, “What just happened, Will?”

——

**5:37 pm**

They rode the elevator up in silence. Will was staring at the ground, and Laura at the ceiling. Usually the make shift constellations on the ceiling tiles gave her some kind of comfort, but not today. She was tapping her fingers against her leg impatiently as the elevator made its slow ascent to her floor. As soon as the doors opened she walked quickly to her apartment door and threw it open.

“Alright Will, we are alone now. Can you tell me whats going on now?” Laura spun around to face Will who had been following her slowly down the hall. Her hands found their place on her hips, her face serious.

He let out a sigh and shut the door behind him. “Our mom was taken into custody yesterday.”

Laura’s arms dropped loosely to her sides, her mouth opening in surprise. She blinked hard a couple times, her head buzzing with questions.

Will knew the questions were about to come spewing from the tiny girl but decided to beat her to it, “Carmilla posted her bail yesterday after dealing with judges and lawyers all day. So she’s home now.” Will crossed the room and sat down on a stool by the island counter.

Laura let out a breath of realization. _No wonder she seemed so broken last night._

“Luckily Carmilla is very good at her job and was able to work something out. I dont know all the details, but what I do know is that our mother remaining on the board was helping her case immensely. So now that she's been removed from her position…” Will trailed off, not wanting to think about the possibility of what could actually happen.

“Ok wait—“ Laura walked over and pressed her palms into the counter top, “That was yesterday. What just happened downstairs?” She looked Will, her brain still trying to work out everything going on.

“Vordenberg threatened to fire Mattie, worried her loyalty was to our mother and not the company.”

Laura let out a sigh of relief at the word ‘threatened’. At least not all of Carmilla's family had lost their jobs that day.

“So Mattie just quit.” Will followed up.

“Holy Hufflepuff, you’re kidding.” Laura’s eyes went wide and she leaned further on her hands.

“Carmilla was also let go. Kind of. She was replaced with someone else from the firm. Vordenberg said it was a conflict of interest and that she was no longer needed.” Will crossed his arms on the counter and watched Laura as she started to pace in the kitchen.

“Will, what does that mean? Whats going happen?” Laura was still pacing, her hands came up to rub her temples lightly with her fingers.

“I’m not sure.” Will shrugged, “She left before I could ask.”

Laura stopped pacing, her shoulders dropping, feeling defeated. “I need to find her.”

——

**7:00 pm**

Laura let her he'd rest against the cold glass of the car window. It was still raining outside, the dreary weather mirroring her emotions perfectly. What started out as a light rain yesterday, had turned into a full blown storm by that evening. Less that 24 hours ago she was falling asleep holding Carmilla in her arms and now it was like she was living a whole different life.

“We’ve been looking for over an hour, Will.” She sat up and shifted in the passenger seat, “where else is there to look?” She hit the call button on her phone for what felt like the hundredth time and let it ring until the machine picked up. She hung up with a sigh and dropped the phone to her lap.

“We have one more stop.” Will didn't look as worn out as Laura did, but he still carried the features of concern on his face.

What he hadn't told Laura was that he knew exactly where to find Carmilla. Knowing his sister, she needed some space to calm down and gather her thoughts.  He also knew Laura well enough that if he tried to tell her that she most likely wouldn't listen. So he spent the last 90 minutes driving Laura around to places Carmilla 'might be', in order to give them both time to calm down.

 

Ten minutes later they were pulling into the parking lot of Silas. Carmilla’s car was parked close to the door, it was the only one in the lot. Laura let out a sigh of relief at knowing at least they had found her as Will pulled in next to his sisters car.

“Should we both go?” Will asked hesitantly. He knew his sister well enough to know that both of them showing up when she was already upset would only make her shut down more, but he didn't want to make Laura feel like she had to stay behind, or take it all on by herself.

Laura unbuckled her seatbelt and looked out the window and the wet ground. The puddles across the lot were growing bigger by the minute, the rain seeming to be falling with a harsh purpose.

“No. I’ll go.” She glanced up at Will, “Is that ok?”

“Yeah. I’ll wait here.” He turned off the car, the sound of the rain hitting the roof filling the space they shared.

Laura stepped out of the car quickly and jogged over to the door, stopping under the awning that provided a small amount of shelter from the rain. She shook off her jacket and stared at the door. Trying to calm her nerves and think of something to say one she was in front of Carmilla, she reached out and took hold of the handle on the heavy door.

Pulling the door open a crack Laura heard the familiar sound of Carmilla’s guitar. She was playing a slow melody, it was beautiful, and caused a heaviness to settle in Laura’s chest. She pulled the door open a little more so she could hear the music over the sound of rain, but didn't move to step inside, afraid it would cause the music to stop.

[ _Let the water rise_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hGdpVvn64o)  
_Let the ground crack_  
_Let me fall inside_  
_Lying on my back_  
_Lying on my back_

 _Dry your smoke-stung eyes_  
_So you can see the light_  
_Staring at the sky_  
_Watching stars collide_  
_Watching stars collide_

Laura glanced behind her to see Will watching her curiously. He opened his eyes wide and shook his head slightly, an unspoken ‘what are you doing?’ being exchanged between them.

Laura jerked her head in the direction of the door and nodded, her way of confirming Carmilla was inside, then turned back to the cracked door.

There was something different about the music when Carmilla thought no one was listening. It was incredible. Anytime she played was incredible, but this was different. Laura would catch herself sitting at the counter listening to her play in the bedroom, she would be in the middle of an article and completely give up writing just to listen.

This was no different. Laura forgot about the rain. Forgot about the sad phone call with her dad earlier that day, the craziness after dinner, everything. She just felt herself being drawn inside, towards the music, and the girl playing it.

 _If you leave, when I go_  
_Find me, in the shallows_  
_If you leave, when I go_  
_Find me, in the shallows_

 _When the time comes_  
_On the last day_  
_When they start to come down_  
_Will you just_  
_Will you run away?_  
_Will you run away?_

 

The song was entrancing and Laura found herself opening the door slowly, just wide enough for her to slip inside. She quietly let the door close behind her, stopping it before it shut completely, knowing it would make enough noise to alert Carmilla to her presence. Through the doorway she could see the stage on the other end of the bar, Carmilla was sitting with her legs crossed, facing away from the door. Her shoulders were slumped and her head dropped low, slightly moving with the fluidity of the song.

 _Let it all rain down_  
_From the blood stained clouds_  
_Come out, come out to the sea, my love_  
_And just drown with me_  
_Drown with me_

 _If you leave, when I go_  
_Find me, in the shallows_  
_If you leave, when I go_  
_Please try find me_  
_In the shallows, in the shallows_

 

Suddenly there was a loud ‘thud’ of the door shutting abruptly, causing Laura to jump and turn back to face the door. The sudden sound caused Carmilla to stop playing and turn to look to see who had decided to interrupt her.

“Will!” Laura whispered harshly against the door, pulling on the handle roughly, the door refusing to budge.

Carmilla rolled her eyes and twisted herself on the stage slightly to watch the brunette do a terrible job of trying to stay quiet and conceal herself in the doorway.

“Will! Open the door!” Her whispers were pressed against the heavy material of the door as she continued to try and fail to pull it open.

Will stood outside under the awning with a sly smile on his face. He swung the ring of keys around his finger a few times before shoving them in his pocket and running back over to his car. He was sure Carmilla would have a few things to say about it later, but for now, locking them in the bar together seemed like the right move.

Laura tugged harder on the handle a few more times before dropping her forehead on the door and letting out a defeated sigh. She heard a throat clear behind her and turned to look at Carmilla with a sheepish smile on her face.

“Um, I think Will locked it.” Laura spoke nervously, pointing her thumb over her shoulder at the door.

A crack of thunder boomed outside, shaking the building and causing both girls to jump. Another followed almost immediately, just as loud as the first, and the lights in the bar went dark.

“Oh, perfect.” Carmilla drawled sarcastically.

_Because being locked in the bar during a blackout is exactly what they needed to make this better._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: yoitsmeecass (in case you want to come say hey)


	17. Two Steps Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura and Carm are stuck in the bar for the blackout. They have a lot to talk about.. but can they?

**7:20 pm**

“Carm?” Laura’s voice was nervous as she felt her way further into the bar in the dark.

“Yes, cupcake?” Carmilla was still on the stage. She set her guitar down next to her and leaned back on her hands.

Laura was suddenly glad for the darkness as she rolled her eyes at Carmilla’s tone. Of course she would find this amusing.

“Can you uh— can you keep talking so I can— ooof!” Laura stumbled into a chair, nearly falling over.

Carmilla chuckled at the clumsy sounds coming from where the other girl was making her way across the room.

“This isn't funny. Just keep talking so I can find you.” Laura stood up again, moving the chair out of the way and extended her arms out in front of her. Hoping it would help protect her from any more furniture jumping out at her.

There was another loud crack of thunder that echoed through the bar and a flash of lightning ripped through the room from the few windows not blacked out.

“And what do you plan to do once you find me?” Carmilla smiled wickedly, wishing she could see Laura’s face, surely she was blushing at the suggestive tone in her voice.

“I plan on smacking that smirk off your face.” Laura bit back, clearly unamused with Carmilla’s attempts to be funny.

“How do you even know I’m smirking?” Carmilla’s voice was suddenly behind Laura instead of in front of her, causing the brunette to turn around quickly to follow the sound.

“Because I know you and I can practically hear it.” Laura stood in place, not sure how Carmilla’s voice had moved when she hadn't heard her moving about the room. Her eyes were still trying to adjust and she could still barely see in front of her.

Suddenly there was a light shining directly in Laura’s eyes and she pulled her hand up to cover her face. Carmilla pointed the light at the ceiling and rotated her hand a bit revealing the flashlight she had grabbed from below the bar. She then turned the light to point a path in front of Laura in the direction of the stage.

"Can't have you breaking your neck, creampuff.” Carmilla paused and noticed Laura's features soften at the show of concern, “Or you know, any of the furniture.”

Laura rolled her eyes but didn't miss the opportunity to use the light to get to the stage in one piece. Carmilla followed behind her, both hopping up to sit on the edge, legs dangling below them. Carmilla sat the flashlight on its end, pointing the stream of light at the ceiling, offering a light glow that surrounded them.

A silence fell around them as they sat there, avoiding eye contact with one another. There was clearly an angry tension between them.

“This feels oddly familiar.” Carmilla broke the silence, leaning back on her hands, glancing over at Laura then turning to look around the bar again quickly.

Laura nodded, pressing her lips together tightly, but didn't say anything. She pulled her legs up on the stage and crossed them in front of her and leaned her elbows down to rest on them, her head in her hands. She let out a sigh and shut her eyes.

Carmilla’s forehead wrinkled as her eyebrows pushed together. Looking over at Laura, she couldn't read her face. She was already feeling all over the place with her own emotions— everything that had happened the day before with her mother, and then this morning with her as well. Hearing from Mattie that she wasn't even allowed to help anymore and that Mattie wasn't going to be there to try and save her mother was weighing her down.

Then there was last night. Walking home in the rain. Laura standing above her in the doorway with such a concerned face— she couldn't even process that right now. Things were so back and forth lately, she couldn't keep track of her own feelings let alone Laura’s. _Was she still mad? Was last night just because she felt sorry for her?_

Then there was the fact that it was Laura’s idea to get Vordenberg in charge in the first place. Which led to her being fired and her mother being removed from the board. And her articles. Was Carmilla supposed to be mad at her still? If she was, why did everything in her want to lean on Laura instead of be angry with her?

Not being able to handle the silence around her and the racing thoughts in her head, Carmilla hopped off the stage and started walking across the room. Laura opened her eyes and lifted her head to watch the girl, wondering what she was doing.

Carmilla walked over to where a dart board hung on the wall and casually pulled the darts from their place, and took a few steps backwards. She lined up the dart between her fingers and threw her arm forward gracefully. The dart landed just below the center and Carmilla smiled to herself. Laura scoffed, causing Carmilla to turn and raise an eyebrow at her.

“Think you can do better?” Carmilla stretched out her arm, offering a dart to the girl sitting on the stage.

Laura didn't say anything but scooted off the stage and walked over confidently, taking the dart from Carmilla’s hand. She lined up her arm, her tongue sticking out the side of her mouth slightly and her eyes narrowing.

Carmilla slowly stepped behind the brunette, getting as close as she could without actually touching her. She pressed her lips together trying not to smile as she watched Laura line up her dart. When she was sure Laura was about to throw, she leaned forward to whisper, “Don’t miss.”

Laura felt a shiver run through her body as she let go of the dart in her hand. Carmilla’s lips had brushed the shell of her ear and her warm breath caused goosebumps to spread over her entire body. She watched as her dart landed above the center, about an inch further away than the dart Carmilla had thrown.

Laura was suddenly glad for the darkness, feeling the heat rise up the back of her neck and spread across her cheeks. She frowned and turned to look at the dark haired girl that had stepped out beside her. “That’s cheating.”

Carmilla smirked, “Alright cupcake, give it another try then.” She raised an eyebrow and nodded towards the dart board as she held out another dart for the shorted girl.

Laura narrowed her eyes at Carmilla as she grabbed the dart from her hands and turned to line up her throw once more. This time she glanced over to make sure Carmilla was staying put off to the side before she made her move. This time the dart hit the board hard— but further away from the center than the first dart had.

“Its dark.” Laura frowned.

Carmilla let out a quick laugh at the excuse and stepped up in front of the board again. She lifted her arm and squared it up, ready to throw. A half smile formed on her lips and she turned her head to stare at Laura. She kept eye contact as she tossed the dart gracefully towards the board, it landing closely to the center once again.

Laura’s eyes narrowed at Carmilla’s smug grin. It was annoying how competitive they got sometimes, but they honestly couldn't help it.

They took turns throwing darts, usually coming close to a tie with each throw. A few wayward ones landing further away, giving someone bragging rights for a moment, before the tables turned. They threw a few rounds, mostly in silence. A few laughs, and a few glares. But somehow it seemed to lessen the tension around them, making it a comfortable silence, no pressure, no expectations.

Laura lined up her next throw, Carmilla lazily leaning on a table near them watching her.

“You know what this reminds me of?” Laura spoke after tossing a dart and having it land further from the bullseye than she wanted.

“What?” Carmilla asked without thinking as she lined up her own throw.

“The first time we hung out. I’m just glad we have more room than in the elevator cause it was cramped. Also that we are throwing darts at a board instead of you throwing cookies at my face.”

“Hold on.” Carmilla dropped her arm and turned to look at Laura, the small glow from the flashlight barely lighting half her face. “Did you just say ‘hung out’? As in, you considered us being stuck in an elevator for hours as us ‘hanging out’?”

Her face looked genuinely surprised and all Laura could do was shrug in response.

Carmilla laughed quietly and went back to lining up her throw. “You’ve always been a strange one, haven't you?” She threw her dart with considerable accuracy and it landed in the center of the board.

Laura smiled at Carmilla’s comment. It was playful and felt normal. For the first time all day the conversation finally didn't feel forced.

“Carm?” Stepping up to take her throw, her eyes were on the dart board, grateful for something other that the other girl to focus on. Talking had been difficult with them lately, so having a half distraction seemed to be helping.

'“Hmm?” Camilla replied, keeping her eyes on the board, waiting for the throw to land.

Laura’s tongue poked out of her mouth before she took a quick breath, “Last night…“ she tossed her dart with a little too much force and it smashed in to the board and bounced back, landing on the floor.

Carmilla stood up quickly, watching the dart fall to the ground. She wasn't ready to talk about last night, or things that happened the day before, not yet.

“I think i’m done with darts.” She said quickly, setting down the few darts still in her hand on the table. She turned her back to Laura and made her way back over to the stage and only source of light in the bar.

Laura turned her head to watch her, a little disappointed at her reaction to the subject she desperately wanted to talk about. Mentally kicking herself for ruining the easiness of the conversation just a minute ago, she set her own darts down and slowly made her way over to the stage as well.

This seemed to be a reoccurring pattern. One step forward, two steps back. The tension between them would lessen, things would start to feel good, like they were actually going somewhere. _One step forward_. Then something would happen or be said and it was like all the walls came shooting back up. _Two steps back_.

Carmilla hopped back into the stage, picked up her guitar and started strumming mindlessly. She tucked one leg up underneath her, the other hanging loosely over the edge. She watched out of the corner of her eye as Laura pressed her back against the stage, placing her hands flat and lifting herself to sit next to her. There was a tense silence between the two of them, the only sounds coming from the guitar and the heavy pouring of rain outside.

There was a loud clap of thunder, sending vibrations through the building and across the stage the girls were on, causing Laura to tense up. Feeling the nervous energy get worse she decided to break the silence again, picking what she hoped would be an easier topic of conversation.

“I tried to learn how to play the trumpet once.”

Carmilla stopped strumming and turned to look at the girl sitting next to her. She was used to Laura’s train of thought being odd, but this was completely out of nowhere. She placed the guitar between the two of them and let her hands fall into her lap, waiting to see where Laura was going to take this.

Laura glanced over at Carmilla and saw her confused expression. “For two weeks in middle school.” she nodded and scooted a little closer to Carmilla. “It was awful. _I_ was awful.” she laughed quietly at herself.

“Why just two weeks?” Carmilla asked, leaning back on her hands.

A wide grin spread over Laura’s face, “Thats all dad could handle. Before he ‘accidentally’ ran over it with his truck.”

Carmilla laughed at Laura’s use of air quotes when she said ‘accidentally’.

_One step forward._

Laura picked up the guitar that was sitting between them and rested it on her lap as she shifted a little closer to Carmilla again. “He swears to this day it was an accident. But I don't understand how my trumpet could get from its case in my closet out to the drive way all on its own.”

Carmilla smiled watching Laura get lost in the memory. She loved when Laura talked about her childhood, mostly because she could see how happy it made Laura to remember it. She sat there a moment just watching her, the light from the flashlight accentuating different features of her face, casting shadows and making it look like she was glowing.

Laura turned to face Carmilla and smiled, “You’re just so amazing when you play your music. I guess I’ve always been a little jealous I never really learned how to play anything.” She shrugged and lifted the guitar off her lap and held it the way she had seen Carmilla hold it so many times.

“I recall offering to teach you many times, so who’s fault is it that you never learned?” Carmilla sat up straight and reached forward to pluck a string on the guitar in Laura’s hands.

“Well how about you give me a lesson then?” Laura strummed the guitar awkwardly, producing a sound that made Carmilla cringe.

“Ok Hendrix, first of all.." Carmilla turned to face Laura completely, reaching out to adjust the guitar in her hands, "you aren't even holding it right."

She shifted the guitar and delicately gripped Laura's wrist, moving her hand to hold the guitar in its proper place. Once she had her hands in place, Laura looked up with a smile to get a reassuring nod from Carmilla.   

Laura strummed again, getting a sound just as awful as she had a moment ago, her smile fading immediately. 

Carmilla chuckled, reached out and started to move Laura's fingers to hold down a couple of strings. Once she had them in place she nodded at Laura, giving her the go ahead to strum again. 

Hesitantly Laura looked down at her fingers spread across the frets, then down to her other hand before strumming her thumb down the row of strings.  This time she was pleasantly surprised by a sound that actually sounded like a legitimate note. 

"Oh my gosh, I'm practically a professional!" Laura smiled wide at the dark haired girl across from her. 

Carmilla couldn't help but smile at the excitement Laura showed from simply playing one note. "I'd buy a ticket to your concert for sure." Her voice was sarcastic but there was nothing but adoration behind it.

Laura strummed again, and again, the same note, her smile getting wider every time. 

After the eighth or ninth one Carmilla reached out and grabbed the neck of the guitar, stopping the sound. "How about we learn another note, cupcake?"

"Oh no. I think this is going to be my thing. Writing songs with just this one note. It's going to make me famous." She twisted away far enough to get the guitar out of Carmilla's hold and strummed again.  This time the sound wasn't as pleasant and she frowned.

Carmilla raised an eyebrow, completely amused by Laura and curious to see if she could recover the note on her own. 

Laura focused on her fingers and the strings, trying to remember the placement Carmilla had shown her. She strummed a few different times, never quite getting it right. "Well Karnstein, you ruined my music career before it even began." She shrugged and laid the guitar down across her lap with mock disappointment. 

The corner of Carmilla’s mouth quirked up as she reached out and wrapped her hand around Laura's waist and tugged her closer to her.  Almost losing her balance, Laura slid across the stage stopping right next to Carmilla, giving her a questioning look. 

"How about we make it a duet?" Carmilla picked the guitar up again and placed it in Laura's hands. She scooted so their sides were pressed together and let one arm wrap around behind Laura's back, resting her hand flat on the ground just behind her hip. Her other hand lifted the neck of the guitar and her fingers found their place comfortably on the strings.   Laura watched her carefully, her delicate fingers were so gentle with the instrument and somehow seemed like they were meant to be connected. Laura gripped the body of the guitar, trying to hold it the way Carmilla had shown her. 

Once her fingers were in place Carmilla looked to the girl next to her. She hadn't realized how close they were to one another until now. Their faces were inches apart and with only the light from the flashlight sitting behind them, a new tension grew between them.  Besides the night before, they hadn't been this close in a while.

Carmilla swallowed hard as she noticed Laura's eyes lingering on her lips. A flash from the night before entered her mind-

_The buzzing feeling in her head as Laura gently lifted the wet shirt that was clinging tightly to her body. Her hair falling messily around her shoulders as her shirt was pulled over her head.  Laura's eyes watching her carefully with such concern and softness in them._

Carmilla cleared her throat, things still felt complicated and she wasn't sure where they were at, she wasn't sure what to do with what she was feeling so she tried to push it aside, for now. 

Laura looked up at the sound and locked eyes with Carmilla.  She too was feeling the pull to the other girl but was just as confused about where they were with things. 

"Go ahead." Carmilla whispered, keeping her eyes locked on Laura's. 

Laura looked confused, causing Carmilla to smile slightly. She lifted her hand from the floor behind Laura and started tapping out a beat on the smaller girls hip. "Strum on my beat."

Laura let out a nervous giggle, "Oh. Right, ok." She moved her gaze from Carmilla’s face down to her hand that was still holding the body of the guitar. She felt Carmilla continue to tap her hip gently a few times before starting to strum along the strings gently. 

It took a few strums before the movement flowed smoothly and a solid note came from the guitar. When it did Laura smiled up at Carmilla to find the raven haired girls eyes already locked on her, her own smile breaking through. They strummed the same note a few more times, Carmilla still holding the strings with one hand and tapping out a beat on Laura’s hip with the other. When Carmilla felt Laura was confident with the tempo of her beat and strumming the strings with ease, she switched the placement of her fingers, providing a new note.

Laura’s smile grew wider as an actual song started to form from the simple strumming of her hand while Carmilla controlled the notes. Carmilla watched as Laura concentrated on keeping the beat and strumming perfectly. Slowly stopping the tapping on the girls hip, Carmilla let her hand hold gently around her waist.

A few more strums and note changes and Carmilla started hum along for a moment before whispering words to match the rhythm.

_Well you only need the light when it's burning low_  
_Only miss the sun when it starts to snow_  
_Only know you love her when you let her go_

It was that moment that Laura finally recognized what song they were actually playing. She thought they were just stringing notes together randomly, she didn't realize they were playing an actual song. Her eyes lit up and her smile got wider watching Carmilla sing softly. It was definitely a super simplified version of the song considering her skill level, but it was still beautiful.

_Only know you've been high when you're feeling low_  
_Only hate the road when you’re missin' home_  
_Only know you love her when you let her go_  
_And you let her go_

_Staring at the bottom of your glass_  
_Hoping one day you'll make a dream last_  
_But dreams come slow and they go so fast_

_You see her when you close your eyes_  
_Maybe one day you'll understand why_  
_Everything you touch surely dies_

Laura strummed a few more times before realizing Carmilla had stopped singing and hadn't changed notes either. She glanced over and noticed Carmilla’s expression was more serious than it had been moment ago and her eyes were cast downward, her hair slightly shielding her face.

Laura stopped strumming and tilted her head towards the girl next to her trying to gain her attention, “What just happened?”

Noticing the lack of sound coming from the guitar Carmilla looked up and forced a smile, “I think you just found your first single.”

_Two steps back_.

Her hand dropped from Laura’s side and she let go of the guitar, scooting away slightly so their bodies were no longer touching. She pressed her hands together in front of her before letting them sit in her lap. Her eyes moved around the bar not really focusing on anything in particular.

She wasn't sure where the sudden uneasiness came from. Maybe it was the song. Maybe it was the closeness. Maybe it was the heat she felt spread through her body when she held onto Laura’s hip. Reminding her of her nightmare from that morning, and the heat that ignited her when she found her anchor. It was scary to realize how much she had missed Laura and how quickly she wanted to forget everything that had happened in the last week just by simply being near her.

She realized even after everything that had happened, no matter how angry she was, she still loved Laura just as much.

In the hour she had been alone in the bar, Carmilla had shifted through a range of emotions. First she was furious about Vordenberg basically firing her after she had spent so much time trying to save the company. Until she realized she was really only trying to save her mother. That led into feeling guilty that she hadn't been able to do just that. Which added to the guilt of how things had been going with Laura.

Their relationship had been pushed to the edge from all of this, and it suddenly felt like it was for nothing. Was it fair for her to ask Laura to forgive her? Had she already forgiven Laura for the part she had played in all of this? She wasn't sure. What she was sure of, was that she loved Laura. She always would. But could this really be fixed. Not just on the surface, but _really_ be fixed?

Carmilla could feel Laura’s eyes on her still and she really didn't want to talk about what she was thinking and feeling. So she pushed herself off the stage and walked away.

——

**8:15 pm**

Another peanut ricocheted off the rim of the glass and bounced on the bar before rolling off onto the floor. Laura rolled her eyes as Carmilla tossed another one, missing again, having it land on the floor with the last. She had been throwing peanuts at the glass for the last half hour and most of them were now on the ground.

Carmilla was sitting cross legged on top of the bar with the bowl of peanuts in front of her. Occasionally she would eat one, but mostly she would just toss them at the empty glass down the bar. She found it mildly annoying herself, but knew that it annoyed Laura more, so she kept doing it. They hadn't talked since she walked away from the stage a while ago and she was mostly glad for it. She wasn't sure what to say or how to say it, so saying nothing seemed a safe bet.

She tossed another peanut and smiled when it landed inside the cup. Reaching for another, she realized the bowl was now empty. Letting out a dramatic sigh she set the bowl down next to her and leaned back on her hands, letting her head fall backwards and eyes close.

There was another crack of thunder outside and it sounded like the rain had started falling harder.

“God, is it ever going to stop raining? I thought it wasn't supposed to rain in California.” Laura spoke quietly as she pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. She was still sitting on the stage where Carmilla had left her.

Carmilla lifted her head to look over at Laura, “I like it.”

“Of course you would say that.” Laura mumbled under her breath, sure Camilla was just saying that to get a rise out of her.

“Its actually what I miss most about New York.” She leaned forward, resting her forearms on her legs. Carmilla started picking at a loose string from her ripped jeans as she continued, “You don't really get to see the seasons change in California. In New York every few months was like a new beginning. Falling leaves, blankets of snow, spring rain..” She trailed off, her eyes watching the string wrap around her finger.

_One step forward_.

A little surprised by the candor of the conversation Laura looked over at Carmilla to see if she could read her expression. It seemed whatever happened earlier had passed and Carmilla looked bored more than anything else. Deciding it was time to girl the hell up and talk to Carmilla about the reason she came to find her in the first place, she cleared her throat.

“I’m sorry you got fired.” _Oh God_. Laura rolled her eyes at herself. For being someone that prided herself on being good with words, she really did fuck it up royally sometimes.

Carmilla chuckled humorlessly at the blunt statement but didn't respond, instead reaching out and grabbing the glass on the bar. She pressed her finger on the rim and started to glide it around its edge slowly.

Thinking maybe it wasn't as bad a start as she thought, Laura continued, “I know its not what you wanted but maybe with Vordenberg in change he can help save your family company.”

Carmilla narrowed her eyes but kept her stare locked on the glass and her finger tracing its rim.

_Crap. I’m making it worse._ “I just mean that with everything pointing to Lilita being guilty that—“

“She’s not guilty.” Carmilla snapped, turning harshly to look at Laura and surprising herself with her tone. She quickly cleared her throat and calmed her voice, “She isn't guilty.” She looked back at the glass, pressing her finger harder into it, trying to focus her frustration at it instead of taking it out on Laura.

_Two steps back._

“Well I guess they will have to figure that out without you now.” Laura knew it was a jab at her, but it came out before she could stop it. She was just so frustrated and sometimes Carmilla just brought that out in her.

“I’m still defending her.” Carmilla stated with a controlled voice.

“You cant be serious?” Laura asked a little shocked, “They fired you.” _As if Carmilla didn't know that already._

“From defending the company, yes. My mother, no.” She straightened her back and looked over at Laura, “Just because they want her to take the fall, doesn't mean she's guilty.”

Laura clenched her jaw. She loved seeing Carmilla so passionate about something, but hated that it was something going directly against her. She knew that was selfish, but its how she felt. So instead of saying anything she sighed and laid back on the stage, throwing her arms over her face.

——

**9:15 pm**

Laura wasn't sure how long they had been sitting there in the dark, but it felt like hours. Was Will ever going to come back and let them out? Did Carmilla really honestly believe her mother was innocent? Why was everything so complicated all the time?

She had been replaying their previous conversation in her head when it donned on her that Carmilla had mentioned New York before they started biting each others heads off. She realized she hadn't heard what Carmilla planned on doing with Theo’s offer to work on a record. Knowing there were plenty of things they were both clearly avoiding talking about, she figured this might be a topic she could approach if she was careful. And if she was being honest, she had been worried Carmilla planned to leave when all this craziness started.

“That song you were playing earlier, when I first got here..” Laura watched Carmilla carefully, trying to gauge her reaction to the topic and continued when she showed no signs of discomfort, “It was really beautiful. Is it a new one?” She leaned back on her hands and her eyes scanned the dark bar, not sure where to put her focus as she waited for a response.

Carmilla was now laying the length of the bar, her ankles crossed and her hands he'd together over her stomach. She didn't move or open her eyes as she replied lazily, “Yeah, you could say that. Mostly just messing around.”

“You have a lot of new stuff? To record or whatever?” Laura was trying to sound casual but was doing a terrible job at it.

Carmilla opened her eyes and rolled her head to the side to look at Laura. She knew exactly where this was going. Instead of answering, she sat up and twisted around on the bar so her legs were hanging over the edge and hopped off onto the ground. Walking over to the stage again, she hopped up and picked up her guitar slowly. If she had learned anything that night, it was that it was easier to talk to Laura without getting frustrated when she had something else to focus on at the same time. Still not answering, she started plucking out a quiet tune.

“I don't know how you do that.” Laura let her eyes move to look at the girl next to her. She figured Carmilla was on to her about asking about New York and Theo but figured she would try to take advantage of the fact that they were actually talking again, and just keep it simple.

“Do what?” Carmilla asked, keeping her focus on her guitar. It felt nice to talk, and not about anything heavy, despite the heaviness constantly surrounding them.

“Write like you do.” Laura sighed easily, the music calming her, the storm fading into the background.

“You do it too.” Carmilla stated quickly, glancing over at the brunette.

Laura scoffed and made a face as if to say ‘yeah right’.

Carmilla stopped playing, resting the guitar flat on her lap. “You write every day, cupcake.”

“Well yeah” Laura rolled her eyes, “But thats different.”

“Not really.” Carmilla shrugged,moved to place the guitar next to her and shifted slightly to face Laura more.

Feeling like this was a big move, for Carmilla to be so open to conversation, and not physically shutting off, Laura turned to match Carmilla’s position so they were facing each other. “How do you mean?”

_One step forward._

Laura watched Carmilla carefully, the flashlight near them was casting shadows across her face that somehow made her even more beautiful than usual. Her features were soft, for the first time in a while she seemed completely at ease, her eyes warm, her body language even felt inviting.

Carmilla looked as though she was carefully considering what it was she wanted to say as her eyes flicked from Laura’s lips, to her eyes and back down again, “You find power in words. In your stories and articles. In the journals you keep. That's how you tell your stories.  I find power in melodies and rhythms."  She kept her eyes on Laura's as they opened wide. 

"How did you know about my journals?" She asked quickly, seeming a bit nervous. 

"I pay attention even when you think I don't." Carmilla replied with a shrug. 

Laura looked both touched and worried, "You didn't-- have you read.."

"No." Carmilla replied softly, cutting off her stumbling of words. "I understand not everything is meant to be shared with others." 

Her voice was quiet and understanding. More than Laura was expecting.  "

But you use words too. With your lyrics." Laura looked at her curiously.

"Sure. But not always. Sometimes the words are just there, and the real story is the music beneath them."

"I don't get it." Her curious expression shifted to one of confusion. 

Carmilla smiled warmly at her for a moment before pushing herself up to stand and extending a hand down to her. "Here, I'll show you."

Laura immediately took hold of her hand and let Carmilla pull her up. Her hand felt warm and soft. She didn't want to let go, but once Carmilla had led them over to sit at the piano bench, she left go of Laura’s hand and rested her fingers on the keys. The piano bench was small, so once again they were sitting closely together, their sides pressed against one another.

“Can you even see?” Laura looked from Carmilla down to her hands. Their bodies blocking the small light and casting a dark shadow over the piano keys.

Carmilla slowly started to press into the keys, producing a quiet melody, “No.” her voice was soft, a hint of longing and sadness in it, “but I can feel.”

Her playing got more intricate, both hands moving quickly, but the melody staying peaceful and calming. Then it shifted slightly, the notes starting to sound more harsh.

“Your strength comes from words. You make people feel things, see things, experience things. But sometimes words aren't enough. Some feelings are too big.”

Her hands moved down the keys in front of Laura, pressing into the lower notes in a harsh and loud manner. The pattern seemed almost forced, like she was trying to crush the sound out with every note she played. Some notes were drawn out, others quick and irritating.

Laura’s hands started to clench in her lap, her shoulders raising towards her ears. She kept her gaze down listening to Carmilla play, trying to understand what Carmilla was trying to show her but getting more frustrated with every note. All she could do was think about how frustrating it was— Sometimes words _were_ enough. Sometimes words _were_ needed. _Why wouldn't Carmilla just talk to her? Tell her what was going on? Why was there this wall between them still? All she wanted was for Carmilla to understand why she had done the things she had. With her articles, with Vordenberg, everything. Why couldn't she see she was only doing what she felt was right? Why wasn't Carmilla on her side? How could she still want to defend Lilita when everything said she was guilty?_

Carmilla watched as the girl next to her grew more tense the longer she played. Her posture went stiff, her eyes narrowed and her jaw clenched. She could see the wheels turning in her head as her eyes didn't focus on anything but seemed to stare fire into the piano in front of them. _What was she thinking about?_

“Anger.” Carmilla’s voice was calm and even.

Laura whipped her head to the side to look at Carmilla, her expression still tight and filled with frustration. When she saw the calm expression on Carmilla face it donned on her. _Anger_. She had made her feel anger with her music.

Carmilla’s fingers didn't stop pressing keys but she moved her hands higher, the notes changing to a slightly higher tone, definitely more calming than the low harsh notes she had been playing before. This new melody sounded playful, the notes flowing smoothly with the occasion staccato note, making it seem like a game was being played. It was almost childlike.

Laura’s face softened and she loosened her firsts that were clenched in her lap. She turned to look back at the piano and felt a small smile forming. Somehow the memory of her as a little girl came rushing into her mind. Sitting at a small plastic table with her mother. They were drinking tea with her stuffed animals set around them in chairs, laughing with one another. Laura could almost feel the sun on her face as it came through the open window of her childhood bedroom, and the breeze that flowed through her hair. Her mother laughed and smiled warmly at her, making Laura’s heart feel like it was going to burst.

Carmilla saw a smile form on Laura’s lips and her eyes close gently. As she continued to play the much more pleasant tune she watched Laura’s shoulders relax and her chest rise and fall with a deep breath. Her eyebrows twitched together slightly and her smile grew.

“Joy.” Carmilla whispered, not wanting to ruin whatever it was Laura was thinking about. She hadn't seen her look that at peace in a while, and she hated interrupting that.

Laura opened her eyes slowly and dropped her head slightly with a smile. _Joy._

A new tune started coming from the keys as Carmilla started playing notes slightly higher and quicker. It was an eerie sound and Laura felt herself growing slightly uncomfortable. The notes were erratic and sounded shrill. Carmilla’s body seemed to hunch over on itself she she played. Once again Laura’s shoulders tensed and she set her hand down on the bench and held tightly to it. Sharp notes followed by long wavering ones surrounded the pair at the piano.

Suddenly Laura felt very aware of every shadow and dark space in the bar. Shadows forming from the flashlight behind them seemed to dance around the room quickly. Her eyes darted around the room, wishing they could see better in the darkness. She could hear the falling of rain and the wind whipping against the building outside. She felt her heart rate pick up and her grasp on the piano bench tighten.  

Carmilla turned to look at Laura with a serious expression, “Fear.”

As if on cue a clap of thunder boomed outside and a flash of lightning cracked through the room. Laura jumped and instinctually grabbed onto Carmilla’s arm, pulling her hand away from the keys.

Carmilla chuckled as Laura blushed slightly. _Fear._

Carmilla rubbed her palm gently up and down Laura’s thigh a couple times, calming the smaller girl, before placing her hands back on the keys in front of them.

She took a deep breath, like she was dreading her next story. Her next song. Her next feeling. She started playing slow notes, her eyes closing, and her body relaxing.

Laura felt like the song was familiar. She knew she recognized it from somewhere. She turned to watch Carmilla’s face as she played. Her eyebrows twitched together, a slight frown pulling at her lips. She watched as Carmilla swallowed hard and her shoulders drooped forward. Then it came to her, it was the song she had been playing when Laura had snuck into the bar that night.

She didn't sing the words, but it was the same song. The notes were slow and Carmilla hit the keys more gently than she knew possible. The sound from the piano filled the room and it weighed heavily on her heart.

Laura watched her sink further into the song. The music was one thing- it was tragic and beautiful and smooth. But the emotion it held was so much greater than anything she could ever explain. _Sadness._

Suddenly all she could think about was the night before. Finding Carmilla on the step outside in the rain. The expression on her face when she helped her up and inside. Like she hoped Laura was there to fix her, to put the broken pieces back together. Dark wet curls framing her face as they stared at each other in the dark. The sadness etched into her eyes and filling her body. _‘You’re so beautiful.’_ Laura smiled sadly at the memory, _‘I’ll find the answer… of how to fix this.’_   She was trying. _She was trying so hard_.

They both were.

“Sadness.” Carmilla whispered, opening her eyes and looking over at Laura, finding the brunettes eyes on her.

They were dark and warm and filled with compassion and concern and tears threatening to break free. It was almost too much. Carmilla did the only thing she could in that moment. She changed her song, to try and tell Laura with music what she couldn't with words.

She sat up straight and a new fire filled her body as she continued to play. This new melody was gentle and flowed so elegantly but had so much power behind it without being overwhelming. Every note was so sure and flowed effortlessly into the next.

Laura couldn't stop the quiet gasp of air she took watching Carmilla in her element. Her chest tightened and she didn't know if she should smile or cry. She watched the gentle hands flow so gracefully across the keys, moving quickly but controlled, playing a song that seemed to flow more from Carmilla than from the piano. A sad smile spread on Carmilla’s face and her eyes pressed shut.

Lightning lit the room suddenly. Laura wasn't sure there was thunder that came with it— all she could hear was the song Carmilla was playing. The light filled the room for a moment and she saw a tear slowly falling down Carmilla cheek. She fought the urge to reach up and wipe it away, afraid any movement would stop the melody holding them there.

More memories from the night before filled her head. Carmilla kissing the palm of her hand so gently. Her crawling into bed hesitantly. How tightly Carmilla held onto her as soon as Laura wrapped an arm around her body. Waking up alone and feeling the ache in her heart. _Carmilla wasn't the only one that was breaking._

The melody slowed and it looked like Carmilla was drained of energy, like she had poured everything she had in her into her music. She lifted her head and opened her eyes, sniffling softly as her hands slowed even more. The notes would linger a second before the next would ring out, giving a sense of longing, of yearning.

“Love.” Her voice cracked and she dropped her head slightly, her hair falling to shield her face and hide the few tears escaping her sad eyes. Her fingers stilled and brushed across the keys smoothly before settling in her lap.

_Love. Was love supposed to be this way?_ Laura took a deep breath, fighting back her own tears. This wasn't what she thought it should be. But that didn't change the fact that she loved her. _God, did she love her_.

Carmilla looked over slowly, trying to read Laura’s expression. She knew Laura wanted words, but she wasn't sure she had any to give her. The silence lingered between them for what felt like forever. Carmilla’s heart beating harder with every second that she didn't know what Laura was feeling. She loved her. Despite it all and because of it all.

“Whats wrong?” She had saved Love for last, hoping it would bring them to a place more settled. This wasn't that place.

“What wrong?” Laura sniffled and looked over at Carmilla, her tears finally breaking free. “We've barely talked in a week and I am so tired. Tired on like, a cellular level. Tired of fighting and trying to choose sides. Of hoping you’ll choose my side but knowing you can’t. Of being scared you’re going to take off and disappear. Of playing these stupid little games of who can annoy who the most. And then last night— last night was— my heart has never felt so full and so broken at the same time and you probably don't even remember it and-“

“I remember.” Carmilla cut her off quickly.

Laura’s frustration disappeared almost immediately, a look of surprise replacing it. “You- you do?”

_She didn't want to remember. It made it hurt more._ “I remember how soft your hands were. How gently you brushed the hair from my face. How you held me up- not only physically, but- you brought me back. I remember wanting to give up but then you were there, and you were holding me, and you were mine.” She tucked a strand of hair behind Laura’s ear, “Mine to annoy, to love…”

Laura sighed heavily, her shoulders dropping further, “Carm, you cant just—“

“I know.” Carmilla knew she was doing this all wrong. This whole thing was all wrong. “You want things to be black and white. You want me to do the right thing, be a good person and take your side. You want the kind of love that just clicks. Like a key into a lock. But i don't know if I can give you that. I don’t now if I can be good. If i can see the world the way you see it.”

Her eyes locked on the piano keys in front of her. It was breaking her heart to say it out loud. What she's felt and known for a while now. “All I know is that through my entire life, you’re the only person that made me want to even try to be good. You and no one else.”

Laura couldn't look at her, she was fighting back tears and tried desperately to swallow back a sob. “It’s not enough.” She managed to get out without breaking down completely.

“I know.” Was Carmilla’s whispered reply.

Steeling her nerves Laura looked up to match Carmilla’s gaze. The hurt was clear in both their eyes, as well as the love they had for one another. But like Laura said, _it wasn't enough_.

The heaviness took over and all the anger and frustration slowly drained from them both. They were at an impasse and they could feel it. The pull to one another couldn't be inored but at the same time something was being wedge between them keeping them from touching.

“Do you miss me?” Carmilla’s voice cracked and a tear fell down her cheek as she looked desperately into Laura’s eyes.

Laura swallowed hard, her heart thrashing in her chest, tears fighting to surface as she desperately tried not to break down in that moment.

“Like someone cut a hole in me.” She breathed out, broken, empty.

Carmilla pressed her lips together, willing her own tears to stop. She nodded slightly and dropped her gaze to her hands in her lap. _It hurt to love this much._

Only seconds passed but an eternity of emptiness filed Carmilla’s heart. She knew what she had said. She wasn't a good person. She told Laura she couldn't be. But looking at the girl next to her made her want to be. She wanted to be everything Laura wanted. Because thats what love is, right? She knew what she had to do. She knew what she was going to do. There was no way she would be able to stop herself, really.

“We should go.” Carmilla whispered as she stood up slowly and walked over to the flashlight. Taking a second to breathe, she wiped the trails her tears had left on her cheeks and picked up the light.

Laura turned slowly on the bench to look at her, wiping her own cheeks, “We’re locked in remember?”

Carmilla reached out, offering Laura her hand which she took without a thought. It was hard to feel this drained, this empty. a]And if Carmilla was offering even a second of comfort, she was going to take it.

Carmilla interlocked their fingers and started to lead her towards the door. Once they were in front of it, she let go of Laura’s hand and pulled her keys from her pocket, unlocking the door in front of them.

Laura was too exhausted to show how surprised she was and instead a quiet voice simply asked, “If you had a key to unlock the door, why did we stay here in the dark all this time?”

Carmilla opened the door, the cool air from outside causing her skin to pebble and filling her lungs. She looked outside at the dark sky filled with clouds and sighed, “You aren't the only one with a hole in you.” She looked back at Laura with a tired expression, “..and I just needed a moment of not feeling empty.”

Laura let out a breath but didn't say anything. What could she say?

“Come on” Carmilla reached out her hand again, “Lets get you home.”

She led Laura to the car and opened the passenger side door. The rain had slowed and was now only a drizzle. Standing outside the car, the slow drops of water fell on them both as Laura turned to face Carmilla, one hand on the door.

“What about you?” She climbed into the car, keeping her eyes on Carmilla.

Carmilla smiled sadly and started to shut the door, “I’m not sure where home is for me right now.”

_Two steps back._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: yoitsmeecass (in case you want to come say hey)


	18. Not Yet Beyond Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura and Carmilla leave the bar, more craziness happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys have been so awesome with your comments and notes, it seriously blows my mind when you guys say the nice things you do. So thank you! And thank you for reading :) Keep the comments coming, I love it :)

**10:25 pm**

The ride up the elevator was excruciatingly quiet. The hum of the gears and pulleys moving the giant enclosure were the only sounds as they moved up toward their floor.  As the doors opened they both hesitated. 

This space that had been the starting place for the love they found in each other and neither wanted to leave it. When the doors started to close automatically, Carmilla stuck out her hand prompting them to open again. She reached over and pressed her hand gently on Laura's lower back and led her out into the hallway.  How was it still thanksgiving? This day had seemed to last an eternity.  

They were both clearly exhausted, in every way you could imagine. They walked into their apartment, both stopping just inside the door. Everything was the same as it was that morning, but it felt different. 

Carmilla let out a sigh, glancing over to the couch. No doubt her bed for the night, once again.  She looked over at Laura to find her eyes cast towards the ground and her fingers nervously fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. 

Carmilla wanted to say something. _Anything_. But she couldn't find the words. She had already said everything she could back at the bar as they sat at the piano together. And… _it wasn't enough_. 

Laura sighed, matching Carmilla’s clear exhaustion and looked up, her eyes scanning the other girls face.  She was always in awe at Carmilla’s beauty, but tonight something seemed different.  Her features were still flawless, somehow sharp but soft at the same time. Her pale skin a stark contrast to the darkness of the room. But tonight her eyes were what stood out.  

They held the same warmth they did whenever she looked at Laura, but there was something else. They looked tired. Not just sleepy— but tired like she had seen the darkness of the world and was desperately clinging to the last shred of light. Years of hurt, pain and sadness etched in them with tiny flecks of love and understanding and hope trying desperately to hold them together.  

How so much emotion could exist in one person, Laura didn't know. It broke her heart. Carmilla always wanted to seem like the strong one, or at least like she didn't care. Aloof, unaffected, detached.   
But she cared. _She cared so much it was breaking her_.

They looked at each other a moment, the darkness of the room adding to their sleepy states. 

"Goodnight, Carm.” Laura whispered breaking the silence. 

Carmilla nodded slightly before replying, "Goodnight." Her voice sounded rough and she cast her eyes to the floor.

Laura stood there a moment longer before walking slowly towards the bedroom.  She rubbed her arm up and down with her hand, slow steps taking her further away from Carmilla. Her heart ached more and breathing got harder with every step.

“Rob Vender.” Carmilla spoke quietly, as if she was fighting to stay quiet and speak at the same time.

Laura turned around slowly to catch Carmilla slowly lowering herself to sit on the arm of the couch. Her posture seemed defeated, like it was a chore to keep herself upright.

“I don’t know how yet, but he’s the key to all this. Find him, you'll find your story.” As soon as Carmilla said it she knew there was no going back from it.

She had been trying to find Rob for almost a week with no luck. It’s like he didn't exist. But he had to, because next to her mothers signature on all those documents that were falsified, was Rob Vender’s signature. Whoever he was, he was the key. If he was a real person, he could be who’s behind this whole thing. If he wasn't real— then someone had to create the name, and it would no doubt come back to her mother. Just like everything else.

Laura knew what Carmilla was doing. This was the one lead she had and he would either save her mother or prove her guilt. Giving this to Laura without knowing what would come of it was putting her mothers fate to chance.

Laura looked at her with surprise, not sure what she was supposed to do with this information. Carmilla had to know she would look into it and regardless of what she found, she would use to to expose the truth. Whether that saved Lilita, or condemned her.

Carmilla wouldn't look at her, and as much as it hurt, it was probably better that way. Laura turned and walked into the bedroom, shutting the door quietly behind her.

“I’m an idiot.” Carmilla breathed out as soon as the door had shut. She ran a hand through her hair and let her back fall down on to the couch cushions, her legs still dangling over the arm of it. “What did I just do?” She covered her face with her hands and groaned.

Once in the bedroom, Laura pressed her body back against the door and let her head fall back. “Oh god. Did she just—? What am I supposed to do with this?” Laura dropped her head forward with her own groan and trudged to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

——

**10:47 pm**

Carmilla kicked the blanket off of her and onto the floor next to the couch. She twisted her body around, stopping once she was on her back. Bringing her hands up to her face she rubbed her eyes with the palm of her hands. _How is it possible to be so tired and so far from sleep at the same time?_

She sat up quickly, completely frustrated, her brain racing, her emotions running high and no clue how to calm any of it down. She pushed herself up and walked over to the fridge, opened the door and felt the cool air escape as she stared blankly inside. _She wasn't hungry_. She shut the door and started pacing the kitchen. She ran her hand through her hair and came to a stop in front of the island counter. Placing her hands flat on the cool surface she leaned her body onto it then stood up again. She couldn't hold still.

Carmilla stared at the bedroom door, like she was trying to see through it. Laura was probably already sleeping. Carmilla had heard her take a quick shower then the lights went off in the bedroom, and she didn't hear a thing after that.

But she was right there. _Laura was right there_.

——

**10:47 pm**

Laura rolled over, for what felt like the hundredth time. She just couldn't get comfortable no matter what she did. One pillow, two pillows, blanket, no blanket. On her back, her stomach, her side. She even went as far as turning around so her head was at the foot of the bed. Nothing worked. Her eyes stung form how tired she was, but she just couldn't fall asleep.

She rolled on her back and grabbed a pillow and pulled it up and over her face. Letting out a groan she tossed it aside and sat up in the bed. She leaned back on her hands behind her and stared over at the door.

Carmilla was probably already asleep. By the time Laura had gotten out of the shower, there was no light coming in from under the door and she couldn't her anything coming form the other room either. But she was right there. Carmilla was right there, yet oceans away at the very same time.

——

**10:51 pm**

Carmilla pushed herself off the counter and took a hesitant step towards the bedroom door. A couple steps closer and she stopped herself. She stared at the door and took another step forward, the floor creaking slightly under her weight.

Laura leaned forward, sitting up straight and put her hands in her lap. Her focus on the door increased and she tossed the covers off of her legs. She scooted to the edge of the bed and let her legs hang off the edge of the mattress.

Another step forward and Carmilla was right in front of the solid barrier standing between herself and Laura. She turned her head to the side and strained her ears, listening for anything to break through the deafening silence around her and the overwhelming thumping of her heart in her chest. She lifted her hand and delicately placed it on the door handle, letting her grip tighten slowly. She shifted her weight and another small creak came from the floor, causing her to freeze in place.

Laura’s eyes squinted and she could have sworn she heard the floor creak. She scooted forward, her toes pressing down on the cold floor silently, and stood herself up. She listened carefully for anything to tell her she hadn't imagined the noise on the other side of the door. When nothing came she took her own nervous step forward, tiptoeing quietly towards the door.

Carmilla let out a deep breath as silently as she could and loosened her grip on the handle. She let go completely and rubbed her hand down her thigh nervously. Listening carefully she could hear the nearly silent patter of steps on the other side of the door. Stepping back a tiny bit she stared at the handle, watching to see if Laura was going to open the door. _It didn't move_.

Laura made it to the door almost silently and put her hand on the handle. She stopped immediately and stared hard at the door. She moved her eyes to the ground and could see the smallest of movement from the shadows coming underneath. She knew Carmilla was there, but what was she doing? She let go of the handle and pressed her palm against the door and leaned her shoulder next to the frame with a sigh.

The handle wasn't moving. The sound of footsteps had stopped. Had she imagined it? Carmilla sighed and stepped forward again, placing her palm on the door, wishing that instead of touching the cold surface of the door she could be touching Laura. She turned and pressed her back against the wall next to the door and let her head fall back.

“Carm?” Laura whispered through the door.

Carmilla took in a sharp breath, her eyes widening, but she didn't respond. She felt the sharp prickling of tears fighting to surface in her eyes and she shut them tight, pressing her lips together as she tried to breathe silently through her nose.

“Are you there?” Laura's voice was quieter this time, like she wasn't sure she was actually talking to anyone but herself.

Carmilla let out the breath she had been holding and slowly slid her body down the wall so she was sitting on the ground. She pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs and let her head fall forward to rest her forehead on her knee.

When there was no response, Laura let out a breath and dropped her hand from the door. She ran her hand through her hair as she slid down the wall to sit next to the door. She pressed her hands flat on the floor on either side of her and leaned her head back against the wall.

This was torture. Being so close and so far away. How silly was it to let this barrier, a simple door, keep them apart. _But it was more than that._ And no matter how much they wanted to be in each others arms, they were both terrified their hearts would end up breaking more than they already were.

Carmilla lifted her head from her knee and pinched the bridge of her nose. Its like she could hear Laura’s heart beating on the other side of the door. Laura had gotten into her bloodstream, she could feel her flowing through her. Her heartache doubled and her body burned with the sadness she knew Laura was feeling. She felt her eyes welling up with tears knowing she was just on the other side of the wall.

It started as a low vibration she couldn't even hear herself, but slowly she managed to let the sound escape her. Carmilla hummed quietly, her eyes shut as tears broke through her eyelids and slowly fell down her cheeks.

Laura took in a breath as she started to hear the melody travel through the door. _She was there._ She sniffled and brought her hands up to wipe her eyes as she started singing softly to match Carmilla’s humming. Relief flooded her body as Carmilla continued to hum and even though it was all she could have in that moment, Laura was grateful for it. She slowly lowered her body to lay on her side, back pressed up against the door, her head resting on the cold floor. She let her eyes close and her singing changed to a whisper. She took a deep breath and felt her body finally relax. All the tension from the day melting out of her, even if she wanted to hold onto it, she was too tired to. The last thing she remembers is her chest filling up with air and the comforting song seeping through the door, filling her with both sadness and hope.

——

(Friday - Day After Thanksgiving)

**7:04 am**

Laura opened her eyes and attempted to move but found her body completely stiff and unwilling to do what her brain was telling it to do. Pounding sounded from the front door and she realized what had woke her in the first place. Someone was knocking at the door.  

She pushed herself off the floor and pressed her hands on her knees to assist in standing up straight despite her backs attempt to deny her that option. _How did she manage to sleep the whole night on the floor?_ Opening the bedroom door and sleepily stumbling through it to the other room, she noticed Carmilla leaning against the wall next to the door.Her legs were out in front of her, her hands sitting in her lap and her head leaning back against the wall as she slept through the pounding on the front door. 

Laura glanced over at the clock on the wall before she reached the front door and was surprised someone was knocking so early. 

"I'm coming!" She yelled at the door when a third round of loud knocking started. 

Carmilla’s head shot forward at Laura yelling, "What the hell?" Her voice was scratchy from sleep and a scowl spread over her face as she tried to figure out what was going on. 

Laura gripped the handle and pulled the door open wide— "Danny?"

"Oh good, you're up." Danny walked herself into the apartment, ignoring Laura's disheveled state from sleeping on the floor.  

Once she was far enough in to see Carmilla still sitting on the floor she paused and her face twisted to one of curiosity, “What in the name of—?” Danny glanced over at Laura to receive a shrug. Laura was about to speak when Danny cut her off before she could, “No. Nope. Whatever odd couple crazy is going on here we do not have time for this. Something is happening at work. I went by today and—”

“Wait, what? What do you mean? Why? Isn't the office closed for thanksgiving?" Laura shut the door and walked over to sit on the couch.  She ran her fingers through her hair trying to tame it a bit as she sat down.

"Yeah, I realized I left some stuff I needed before Monday so I just went by and all the executives offices were being cleared out." She sat down on the couch but stayed on the edge of the cushion, her forearms resting on her knees. "I tried to ask what was going on but no one would tell me anything."

"Wait, I don't get it, didn't Vordenberg say he was going to fix the whole 'selling off parts of the company' and ‘people getting fired for nothing’ thing?" Laura asked, rubbing one of her eyes.

Carmilla stood up off the floor, cracked her neck while stretching, then walked into the kitchen. She grabbing a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water from the sink. She kept her back to the pair on the couch but kept listening.  Everything she had heard about Vordenberg had felt off and she knew she knew that name from somewhere, even though she couldn't place it yet. It's not like it was a common name, after all. 

"Yeah, I don't know. All I know is if something doesn't happen fast to figure out what the hell is going on with Morgan industries, I think a lot more bad than good is going to happen." Danny leaned back on the couch, looking over at Laura with a concerned face. 

Laura bit her lip and played with the hem of her shirt as she looked over at the girl standing at the sink.  She could tell from the position of her shoulders that Carmilla was tense and no doubt paying more attention than she was letting on. She hated to do it, but what choice did she have?

"I think I have a new lead. Someone we need to find." 

Laura watched as Carmilla's head dropped lower and her weight was put on her arms as she held onto the counter. 

"That's great! Who is it?" Danny asked leaning forward slightly. 

Carmilla sighed and set her cup in the sink before walking into the bedroom and shutting the door behind her. 

Laura watched the door close and let out a sigh of her own before turning to continue to talk to Danny.

Carmilla paced across the bedroom, phone pressed to her ear.  She bit her nails on her free hand as she waited for an answer. 

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's me." Carmilla stopped pacing as soon as her call had been answered, "We need to talk."

——

**8:45 am**

"This building is even more creepy when it's empty." Carmilla said flatly as she walked into the conference room. 

"Yes well," Mattie glanced up, setting down the papers that were in her hands and leaning back in her chair that was set at the end of the table "it's easier working here than in a sub par hotel room." 

Carmilla dropped her messenger bag on the long table and walked towards Mattie, her hand brushing across the backs of the chairs as she passed them.  Stopping at a chair a couple down from Mattie, she pulled it out and sat down, placing her arms on the table. 

"Alright Mattie, spill." Carmilla leaned onto her arms, her focus on the woman at the end of the table. 

"I'm under contract." Mattie scoffed and rolled her eyes. "They wouldn't let me quit, so I'm stuck here until this mess is cleaned up and I can go back to New York."

"Huh." Carmilla leaned back, her eyes widening slightly as she stared out the window. "Didn't see that one coming."

"Consider yourself lucky, Kitty." Mattie reached down and started to pull off her stilettos. "This place is more of a mess than we thought. Vordenberg has only been in charge for a day and already things have gotten worse."

"Why'd they let him take over in the first place then?" Carmilla smiled slightly at the sudden familiarity.  Memories of New York coming back into her mind as Mattie placed her shoes on the table and leaned back. 

"Because they are too stupid to see what he's doing is making things worse, not better. On the surface he's saving this place."  She slid some papers across the table to Carmilla, "but in the long run, it's going to ruin the company."

Carmilla studied the papers in front of her quickly. Noting changes in budget distributions, suggestions for isolated employee termination, reallocation on stocks and ownership.  He was fucking things up. 

"Wait." Carmilla looked up at Mattie with a grin, "I think I have an idea."

A wide smile spread on Mattie's face as she looked over at Carmilla, "Oh how I've missed this side of you, you little monster." She chuckled and leaned forward, completely focused on Carmilla, waiting to hear this idea she had. 

——

**10:15 am**

"Thank you so much for agreeing to meet with me again, Mr Vordenberg. And especially on such short notice.” Laura smiled up at the man walking slowly beside her down the hall, "I know it's a holiday weekend, I just wanted to get a head start on my next article and wanted to get some good information on the changes you're planning on implementing now that you're at the head of the board."

"It's absolutely my pleasure, young lady" the old man smiled sweetly at her, "the last time I was interviewed by a dame as pretty as you, it was back in 79 when I was leading a protest on—“

Laura cleared her throat, interrupting Vordenberg's latest tangent and followed him around the corner in the big office building.  “Why don't you tell me about what you have planned for the company?”

“Ah yes, of course.” Vordenberg straightened his posture, and smiled wide.

_This was going to be a long interview._

——

**10:15 am**

"You're sure this is the right way to go about this?" Will asked through the phone.  

It sat on the table in front of both Carmilla and Mattie. They had spent the last 40 minutes making sure Carmilla’s idea was legal and could actually work before calling Will to see if he was willing to go along with it. 

"Yeah kiddo, this is the best bet we have." Mattie leaned forward to make sure he could hear. 

"Kitty?" Will asked, wanting her opinion. 

"Will, you know I wouldn't ask if I wasn't willing to do it myself. It has to be both of us or it won't work." Carmilla knew Will would have his reservations. Hell, she was internally second guessing herself too.  But Mattie was right, it was their best chance. 

"Alright then. I guess if you trust her enough to go through with it, I can too." Will sighed and Carmilla immediately wished they'd had enough time for her to talk to him in person. But is was kind of a now or never situation. 

"Thanks, Will. I'll email you the paperwork right now and come by in a bit to pick it up after you've filled it out." Carmilla looked up at Mattie, a look of determination on her face. 

——

**10:40 am**

“And that was the beginning of my great affair with the Grand Duchess Anastasia.” Vordenberg smiled wide, “A year and a half of caviar and vodka and torrid, torrid— rumpy-bumpy-stein. How about that?” He winked at Laura happily.

“Uh, as fascinating as that very, _very_ long story was. I actually asked how you planned to adjust budget distributions.” Laura sighed and forced a smile, trying to hide how frustrated she was at how difficult this interview had turned out to be.

“Ah.” He replied, glancing up and over the top of Laura’s head like he already had lost his train of thought. Shaking his head and looking back at Laura he smiled, “Well how about we take another crack at it? Any other questions for me?”

“How about we take a break?” Laura pleaded, trying to seem positive, “I’m just— I need to run out and—“ She sighed and shook her head, “I’ll be back.”

Without waiting for what was surely going to be a lengthy response, Laura got up and walked out in to the hall, leaving Vordenberg in his office. She shut the door behind her, let out an exasperated breath and brought a hand up to drag it down her face. She pushed herself off the wall and started walking directionless down the hallway. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and opened up a new text screen. She starting to type out a text to Danny telling her she hadn't found anything out about her office yet when she walked around the corner and nearly collided with someone.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorr—“ Laura looked up and froze at the beautiful smirk and dark eyes locked on her. “Carm?” Her voice squeaked and she cleared her throat, slightly embarrassed at the sound of surprise she had made.

“Cupcake.” Carmilla raised an eyebrow and glanced around the hallway to see if she was with anyone.

“I was just..” Laura glanced behind her then back at Carmilla, she pointed her thumb over her shoulder, “Interviewing, um, Mr Vordenberg.”

“Of course.” Carmilla nodded at her slightly, keeping her face expressionless.

Laura sighed, “Look, I know—“ She started and stopped herself with another sigh, “I’m just— wait, what are you doing here?”

“Miss Hollis? I just thought of another story from my time in Europe!” Vordenberg’s voice traveled down the hallway from the office Laura had left him in.

Laura’s eyes went wide and she gripped Carmilla’s arm and started pulling her in the opposite direction of the voice calling to her.

“Woah, creampuff. Have we gone from stalking to kidnapping?” Carmilla was surprised at the force Laura was using as she dragged her down the hall.

“Shh! He’ll hear you!” They were only a few more steps down the hall when Laura looked over her shoulder to see if he had come to find her before stepping quickly into the elevator and pulling Carmilla in with her. She pressed the button for the doors to close repeatedly until they started to move, hiding the pair in the elevator.

Laura let out a sigh as soon as the doors shut completely but didn't bother to press a button for the elevator to move. She didn't really need to go anywhere, she just needed a break from her interview from hell.

“I’ve had way too much DeJaVu lately.” Carmilla spoke sarcastically as she glanced around the elevator.

“Look, can you just give me one day without all the sarcasm and snide comments.” Laura huffed, turning to face Carmilla.

Carmilla didn't say anything and just like in the hall, her face was void of expression. She just looked Laura up and down, but not in her seductive or flirty way, it seemed more out of genuine concern.

Laura started to feel herself getting anxious under Carmilla’s stare and turned back around to face the door. “What are you doing here, Carm?”

“I had to talk to Mattie.” Her voice was quiet but calm, she wasn't sure how much to tell Laura. She was still banking on the element of surprise for her plan to actually work.

“I thought she got fired?” Laura started to turn around but decided against it, crossing her arms over her chest and staring at the door again.

“No, she quit.” Carmilla chuckled softly, imagining Mattie being dramatic and quitting seemed absolutely hilarious to her, “But she’s under contract, so she had to come back.”

“Oh.” Laura dropped her arms, seeming to relax more, “Does that mean you’re back too?”

They were speaking in whispers, neither girl sure why. But it seemed to add to the mixture of tensions surrounding them.

“No.” Carmilla reached up towards the girl in front of her and smoothed down a wayward hair gently with her finger without thinking.

Laura barely felt the touch, but it caused a shiver to run down her spine and she closed her eyes. Suddenly very aware of the fact that they were standing in an elevator alone together. One she had dragged Carmilla into. One that Carmilla had made no attempt to leave yet.

Carmilla stepped forward with a shaky breath, feeling a shift in the energy around them. Laura was still facing away from her but she could see a poor reflection of her on the metal door. Her head was tilted down slightly and her eyes looked to be staring at the floor. Carmilla raised her hand again and was about to place it on Laura’s shoulder when she noticed the girl in front of her tense up slightly. She must have noticed how close they were, Carmilla only left inches between their bodies when she had stepped forward.

“Carm..” Laura whispered almost pleading, and shut her eyes. She breathed out a heavy sigh as her eyebrows twitched together and her heart rate started to pick up.

“Laura.”

_Her name_. Whispered with such tenderness, and reverence. Laura could practically feel her heart splintering through her chest like it was trying to be closer to the voice that had spoken it.

She kept her eyes closed but turned around slowly so her body was facing Carmilla, just as the dark haired girl moved forward again. Laura’s knees nearly buckled at the lack of distance between them. She let her back press gently on the cold elevator doors and Carmilla’s hands settled softly on her hips.

Laura felt Carmilla’s forehead connect with her own and she forced herself to keep her eyes closed. Opening them would ruin this. It would bring her back into reality, where they were still in limbo, where nothing had really changed, where it hurt to love her this much.

“What are you doing?” Laura breathed out. Until now she hadn't noticed how heavy her breathing had gotten or how fast her heart was beating. She swallowed hard when she noticed the low pull in her stomach the second Carmilla’s thumb grazed under the hem of her shirt to brush along the skin of her hip bone.

Carmilla didn't say anything but moved her head back to look at Laura. She let her eyes wander over the smaller girls face, taking in every freckle, the slope of her nose, the curve of her lips, the slight twitch of her eyebrows. _God, she was beautiful_.

One of Carmilla’s hands let go of Laura’s hip and came up to her face. She let her fingers slide around towards the back of Laura’s neck and her palm press gently to her cheek. Laura leaned into the touch, a look of relief— _or was it heartache?_ — on her face. Carmilla brushed her thumb slowly along her cheek, then over Laura’s bottom lip, watching as the movement tugged it slightly to the side.

As her thumb reached the center of Laura’s lips, they puckered slightly and the gentlest kiss was left on the pad of her thumb. Carmilla let out a quick breath at the action, her chest falling dramatically. She had been holding her breath, waiting for Laura to pull away, not expecting what had just happened.

“I miss you.” Carmilla breathed out before she could even think about the words she was saying.

Laura's eyebrows pressed together and her eyes shut tighter. Carmilla watched as her chest rose with a deep breath before falling back into the quick rhythm it was moving in before. Carmilla’s thumb moved to brush Laura’s cheek and she wished it was still on her mouth when Laura’s tongue brushed across her lip, wetting it slowly.

“I miss you like the stars miss the sun in the morning sky.” Carmilla stepped forward, pressing her body against Laura’s gently, placing her mouth near the other girls ear. Her hand that had been on Laura’s hip wrapped around her back and held their bodies tightly together.

Laura sank back against the door as Carmilla’s body pressed against her. Her touch was incredibly soft and careful, like she didn't want anything, other than to be near her. Laura’s arms had been hanging lifeless at her sides, not sure what to do, and not sure she could move them even if she wanted to. She felt her palms start to tingle, or maybe it was in her head, but she knew the only way to put an end the sensation was to touch her.

Laura’s breathing picked up again as her hands lifted and held tightly but gently to Carmilla’s sides, pulling her closer. She felt the movement of Carmilla’s rising and falling chest quicken as soon as her hands were on her and their cheeks were pressed together. Laura felt warm breath on her ear as Carmilla barely moved to nuzzle her cheek against her own. It was endearing and adorable, and for a moment Laura forgot how sad she was.

Carmilla felt Laura smile as she gently nuzzled her face against her. She breathed her in and let her eyes close as Laura seemed to fill her lungs, seep into her bloodstream and slowly flow through her. She felt her heart pump heavily, Laura was the life force keeping her heart beating, keeping her alive. Just being near her was like finally breathing air after drowning for a decade.

This was something different than what they were used to with each other. Passion, fire, eagerness, heat.. those were all normal for them in the past. Touching each other always sent a wave of electricity through them both. Igniting them enough to burn them up completely. But this was gentle, tender and affectionate with no push to cross a line or take it anywhere further than just existing in each others space.

Even without the push to take it further, Laura couldn't deny her body was reacting to the simple closeness and tender touches she was receiving. Her breathing alone was enough to give that away. And if she was paying attention to the quick rise and fall of Carmilla’s chest and the hot breath hitting her ear, she could say the feeling was mutual.

Laura had to say something. Break the silence. The tension. Her mind was fuzzy and it was getting harder to think about anything other than Carmilla. She wasn't sure why she wasn't kissing her right now, or why it had been so long since she had. She wasn't sure where they were, nor did she care. All she could think about was the stars. The stars she saw in Carmilla’s eyes when she looked at her. The stars she could see from their roof where they held each other at night so often. The stars on the ceiling of the elevator she saw every day. _The stars that missed the sun._

“Sometimes I feel like that.” Laura started, not sure where the words were coming from or if what she was saying was making sense. “A star, just one tiny spec trying to keep my flame burning. But there are so many other stars in the sky, I feel like I'm just lost and floating and no one even notices.”

“Laura-” Carmilla pulled back slightly and opened her eyes so she could look at the girl in her arms.

When Carmilla didn't say anything else, Laura opened her eyes and was met with the most intense yet soft gaze she’s ever seen. Whatever was happening outside of the space they were in, didn't matter. _At least not in this moment._

Carmilla smiled and brushed her thumb along her cheek again, “You may burn like a star in the sky but baby, you’re not just a star floating through space. You're the whole fucking Galaxy.”

It was a strange feeling. There was a small amount of space between them but Laura felt like she was tethered to Carmilla somehow. Like her heart had somehow found a way to beat from within Carmilla’s chest. Like it belonged to her. Entirely and irrevocably.

The weight of the words that had been spoken, coupled with the heartache that had lived between them for the last week seemed to erupt through the elevator. Whatever had been keeping them apart had been destroyed, if only for this moment, by the amount of love that pulled them together.

“Carm?” Laura whispered, her eyes pleading.

“Yeah?” Carmilla whispered back, watching the golden flecks dance in Laura’s eyes.

Laura reached up and tucked a strand of Carmilla’s hair behind her ear. The words weren't forming and she didn't know what to do. She was screaming them in her head, they echoed loudly and clearly, but she couldn't speak them out loud. Why couldn't Carmilla read her mind? _Why couldn't Carmilla hear her?_

The smallest of smiles broke onto Carmilla’s face and she slowly started to close the gap between them. The arm that was wrapped around Laura’s back held onto her tightly, her hand pressed flat on her low back. The other hand slid further back on her neck, her fingers tangling in Laura’s hair gently and pulling her head towards her.

Everything was in slow motion. From the smile that Laura watched grow on Carmilla’s perfect lips, to the slow flutter of her eyelids as she blinked rapidly a few times before letting her eyes close gently, and the excruciatingly slow pace that the space between them lessened.

It was bottled chaos. The feeling in her stomach, waiting for Carmilla’s lips to meet her own. Laura let her eyes flutter shut as she took a sharp breath when she realized…

_Carmilla had heard her._

Their lips met, but just barely. It was like Carmilla was still giving Laura the option to pull away, to stop what was happening, but that didn't happen. As soon as their lips connected, Laura lost herself in the feeling that enveloped her and pressed her lips harder against Carmilla’s.

As if it was the answer to a question, Carmilla held to Laura tighter. Her body pressed further into Laura’s, pushing her back tightly against the elevator door as her grip in her hair tightened slightly. Laura’s hands wrapped around Carmilla’s back and pulled her tightly against her desperately.

Carmilla smiled and broke the kiss, pulling back slightly to look at Laura’s face. She watched as Laura kept her eyes closed and slowly chased after her lips as she pulled back. _God she missed her_. Not wanting to waste a moment she knew would be all too fleeting, Carmilla leaned back in, capturing Laura’s lips once again. This time more sure than the last.

A muffled sound came from the other side of the doors and they pulled apart slowly, knowing their moment of ignoring reality was coming to an end. The talking got louder and Laura recognized the voice immediately as her interviewee that she had abandoned. But he wasn't alone, he was talking to someone.

Laura let out a sigh and her grip on Carmilla loosened as she looked into her dark eyes. “Carm, this doesn’t change—“

“I know.” Carmilla gave her a sad smile and leaned towards her again. Laura was preparing herself for another kiss and closed her eyes, but was surprised when Carmilla’s lips landed on her cheek, barely hitting the corner of her mouth instead.

“I’ll find the answer.” Carmilla whispered in her ear, “You just have to trust me.”

She pulled back and they shared a moment just looking at each other. Laura saw something in Carmilla’s eyes and was trying desperately to put a name on it. As the doors hummed and started to part, Carmilla dropped her arms from around Laura and took a step back, creating space between them.

They didn't take their eyes off each other, even as the talking got louder as the doors separated further, exposing them to reality once again.

_Hope_. Laura realized. Thats what was in her eyes. If Carmilla could still have hope, then maybe she could too.

“Ah! Miss Hollis! There you are!” Vordenberg greeted her as soon as the doors opened.

Laura still had her back to the door and Vordenberg when she saw Carmilla’s posture shift. Her eyes went wide and her mouth dropped slightly as soon as she saw the man outside the elevator.

Laura turned around to see if there was a reason for Carmilla’s reaction but just saw Vordenberg and another man standing in the hallway, both smiling. The man standing behind Vordenberg looked just as shocked to see Carmilla and his eyes went wide and he shook his head almost frantically at Carmilla.

Carmilla glanced from the older man to the head shaking behind him. She hadn't even noticed JP standing there before. Her stomach dropped at seeing the old man as she tried to place how she knew him, she didn't even care what JP was shaking his head at.

Vordenberg saw the confused faces and turned to look behind him, JP stopped his head shaking as soon as he did, and replaced it with a nervous smile.

“Oh excuse my lack of manners, Miss Hollis, this is JP. Head of our IT department.” Vordenberg gestured to the man behind him.

“Its a pleasure to meet you Miss Hollis.” JP sounded slightly nervous but reached out to shake Laura’s hand.

“You can call me Laura, JP.” She smiled and reached out to take his hand, “And its a pleasure to meet you, as well.”

Vordenberg smiled at them before glancing over at Carmilla then back at Laura with raised eyebrows.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Laura reached her hand back to Carmilla trying to get her to come forward but was met with a small shake of the head. She looked at her with a confused expression before turning back to the men in the hall, “This is Carmilla Karnstein. Carmilla, this is Mr Vordenberg.”

Suddenly it hit her. Hearing the name and having a face put with it, she made the connection. She realized why the name had sounded familiar and why hearing it always made her feel uneasy. Carmilla’s expression hardened slightly but she forced herself to remain stoic and her voice calm.

“We’ve met.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: yoitsmeecass (in case you want to come say hey)


	19. Forgotten Histories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find out more about Mr V. and Carmilla and their history. Laura and Carm try to work together to figure things out..

“We’ve met.” Carmilla narrowed her eyes slightly at the old man standing far too casually for her liking.

“Have we? Oh yes, Miss Karnstein. I’m terribly sorry we had to go with another lawyer from your firm, I hope you understand it was nothing personal. We simply felt it appropriate with the new leadership to have new council as well.” Vordenberg’s smile actually seemed genuine, “A fresh start on all sides, if you will.”

Carmilla didn't respond, she wasn't sure how to. Either he was very good at pretending he didn't remember her beyond her being their lawyer, or he actually didn't. She wasn't sure which one was better but decided to just go with it for now, it might actually help her idea play out more smoothly.

“I completely understand, Mr Vordenberg, was it?” Carmilla took a small step forward, barely leaving the elevator but kept a good distance still. “And JP and I have—“

JP’s eyes went wide and he quickly spoke up, cutting Carmilla off “Have yet to meet!” He stepped forward, pleading with his eyes for Carmilla to go along with what was happening, “Its great to meet you, Miss karnstein.” He threw his hand out, offering it to Carmilla to shake while chuckling nervously.

Carmilla looked slightly confused but the look in JP’s eyes was enough to convince her to just go along with this, too. “Right. Nice to meet you.” She shook his hand and glanced over at Laura.

Laura looked the most confused out of all of them. Between the heavy stares, shaking of hands, shaking heads and awkward tension, she knew something was going on but had no idea what.

“Ooookay?” Laura dragged the word out as her eyes shifted from person to person trying to read between the lines.

“Miss Karnstein, can I call to have someone see you out? I’m sure you understand under the circumstances it’s probably best to leave things up to our new council.” Vordenberg stepped forward, trying to seem intimidating or at the very least, in charge.

Carmilla scoffed, “I’m sure I can find my way out.” There was the old man she remembered. Calculated, cunning, duplicitous.

“I can show Miss Karnstein out!” JP nearly leapt into the elevator, inviting Carmilla to join him eagerly.

Carmilla narrowed her eyes at the man that had flown by her and was waiting not so patiently. _Why was he being so weird?_

“Thank you, JP. Miss Hollis, shall we continue?” Vordenberg stepped to the side and gestured with his arm for Laura to follow him back to the office.

“I actually think we covered enough for today.” She glanced over her shoulder to see Carmilla stepping into the elevator and JP pressing a button for them to head down to the exit, “I’ll give you a call if I think of any other questions for you!”

Whatever was going on with JP and Carmilla seemed to be far more interesting than listening to more irrelevant stories from the dinosaur standing in front of her. She started walking backwards, trying to step into the elevator with Carmilla and JP casually while still being polite to the man she had abandoned that morning once already, “Thanks again so much, it was so kind of you to take the time to speak to me, I cant wait to hear—“

Then the doors were closed. Leaving Vordenberg alone in the hallway, and the other three standing in the elevator as it started to move smoothly.

“Ok, what is going on?” Laura turned around quickly, her voice changing from the sweet tone she had been speaking to Vordenberg with to a serious and actually intimidating one as she addressed the other two.

Carmilla shrugged, “Don't look at me. Nerd Herd here is being extra weird today.”

JP smiled sheepishly and glanced between the two women before leaning over towards Carmilla and whispering (quite loudly), “Should we be speaking in front of her?”

Carmilla rolled her eyes, “Spit it out Zuckerberg, why are we pretending we don’t know each other?”

“I knew it!” Laura exclaimed, pointing at the pair talking to one another.

Carmilla looked at Laura and rolled her eyes, “Cool it Velma and just let him talk.” She reached over to the wall of buttons and hit them all between where they were on the 7th floor and the lobby.

“What are you doing?” Laura asked, watching as the buttons lit up. 6..5..4..

Carmilla shrugged, “It’ll slow the ride.”

JP looked between the two of them again before glancing around the elevator. Carmilla’s eyebrows came together as she watched him, _did he think someone was camouflaged or hiding in the ceiling?_ Laura just looked eager at the sudden development of the situation— honestly, she had been bored out of her mind talking with Vordenberg and practically anything would seem exciting at this point.

JP clasped his hands together nervously and focused on Carmilla, “When you asked me to keep an eye out for any strange correspondence about the company I designed a program with a specific algorithm that would sort through the types of information being sent to and from the servers throughout the building. It is actually a fascinating process—“ He had started talking with more excitement and less nervousness when Laura cut him off.

“Is that legal?!” Laura eyes were wide and her voice was much louder than she had intended it to be, but she was still shocked at what he was saying.

“Well, yes actually.” Jp answered plainly, “If its a company account or accessed on company computers, then it’s technically company property and in my current position, I am allowed to access the information.”

Carmilla raised her hand to stop the tangent, “Get to the point, we don't have all day.”

“Oh right, my apologies.” JP smiled apologetically but seemed far less nervous, “I was alerted to a thread of emails being sent from an account registered to a Rob G. Vender. Thats the name you said to watch for, correct?”

Both Carmilla and Laura immediately started to pay more attention at the mention of the name Carmilla had shared with her only the night before. Of course as soon as she told Laura about him, something would surface about his actual existence.

JP felt their focus intensify almost immediately and felt the need to whisper his next bit of information, “The emails contain information suggesting the complete rebranding of the company, including shutting down subsidiary companies in order to siphon funding back into Morgan Industries.”

“But that’ll mean Danny and Kirsch..” Laura trailed off, realizing her friends would be losing their jobs, and it was all coming back to her original idea to put him in charge. _This was going to be her fault._

“Theres more, isn't there?” Carmilla asked. She noticed Laura’s shoulders slump and the frown spread on her face at the sudden news. She wanted to reach out and comfort her but felt frozen in place.

JP nodded his head, "The reason I didn't want Mr Vordenberg to know we had met— he's been asking me a lot of questions. Odd ones. I don’t think he would appreciate me helping you.”

"What kind of questions?" Laura was back in full reporter mode.

“He asked if there was a way to tap into the security feeds in the building. He said it was for productivity research. And he wanted to set up a message system than can contact anyone in the building on their computer through an instant message while being able to see what is on their screen at the same time.”

The elevator chimed, signaling they had arrived on the ground floor and the doors started to open. Jp started to rush his words, trying to finish telling them what he knew before they had to leave the elevator. “He’s planning on renaming the company, new ownership, new start, everything—“

It was still the holiday weekend so it building was mostly empty, but as soon as the doors opened a security officer stepped into view, hands on hips, and Carmilla knew he was there for her.

“Carm, give me your keys." Laura stepped in front of Carmilla blocking the security guard slightly. 

He frowned and crossed his arms but made no attempt to move toward the group in the elevator.

"What, why?" Carmilla asked at the same time that she pulled her keys from her pocket and placed them in Laura's hand.

"Just trust me. Meet me at home." Laura stepped out of the elevator and stopped directly in front of the guard and started talking with him-- or more like, _at_ him.

Carmilla took this as her opportunity to leave without any trouble and slipped past them, the guard watching her with his eyes, but everything else staying focused on Laura and whatever she was rambling about.  JP followed after her quickly as they walked out of the office building. 

"Please tell me you have a car." Carmilla spun on her heel to look at JP.

JP smiled nervously, “Um, sort of."

——

**11:15 am**

"No." Carmilla shook her head hard, "No fucking way."

JP looked at her innocently, "Would you prefer white, or black?"

"You have to be kidding me." Carmilla glared at him. 

"Of course." JP smiled, "I should have known you would prefer black." He held out the black helmet towards her, waiting for her to accept it. 

Carmilla’s glare deepened as she grabbed the helmet angrily. "Seriously? A fucking scooter? Can this thing even go on the freeway?"

JP nodded happily, proud of his little scooter, "It's great on gas mileage and while it can go on the freeway I try to avoid it.  Statistically speaking you're safer—“

"Oh my god stop talking." Carmilla cut him off and pulled the helmet over her head angrily, "the amount of useless facts in your head— you're as bad as Lafontaine. Only more Einstein and less Frankenstein."

JP smiled, taking the comment as a compliment and buckled the helmet strap under his chin. He climbed on his scooter and patted the seat behind him then moved to pull on his riding goggles, "Your chariot awaits!"

Carmilla rolled her eyes and mumbled something angry and violent under her breath as she reluctantly climbed on the scooter behind him. "Let's just get this over with.

——

**11:58 am**

Laura rushed into the apartment to find Carmilla and JP sitting at the counter staring at Carmilla’s lap top.

"Oh good, you made it." She sighed and walked over to the counter, setting down a pile of files next to them.

Carmilla didn't take her eyes off the computer screen, "Barely. Evel Knievel here drives like he's starring in Fast and the Furious 27, Scooter Wars.”

JP shrugged and smiled at Laura, "We wore helmets."

"Why'd you need my car anyway?" Carmilla finally looked over at her. 

"I had to run to the newspaper for some things." Laura patted the pile of papers on the counter. "And I called Danny, she should be here soon."

Carmilla’s posture deflated and she stood up and headed to the fridge, "What do you need the beanstalk for?"

"This involves her too, you know. She deserves to know what's going on." Laura sat down on the stool that Carmilla had just been on, “What are we looking at?"

JP twisted the computer slightly so Laura could see it better, "We were going over the emails, trying to see if there was a clue as to who this Rob person is."

"Find anything?" Laura asked, scanning the emails on the screen.

"No." Carmilla shut the fridge and turned around while popping open a can of soda. 

There was a knock on the door before it started opening and Danny poked her heading with a smile, “Hey guys.”

“Danny! You got here quick.” Laura stood up and went over to greet her with a hug.

“Yeah, I was already out. So whats up Hollis?” Danny walked in further and leaned her hip on the counter as she looked over the new person sitting at the counter.

“I don’t know how to tell you this…” Laura waked over and put her hand on Danny’s arm, “But we think your company is about to shut down.”

Danny just looked at her, not really reacting to the news in the way Laura had expected.

“You ok?” Laura asked out of concern and also curiosity at the lack of reaction.

“Yeah, I actually knew that already.” Danny shrugged.

“What? How?” Laura asked, stepping back and crossing her arms over her chest. She had just talked to Danny earlier that morning. She was the reason she had called up Vordenberg for another interview, to figure out what was going on at her office. So how did she all of a sudden have more information than her?

“After you left this morning I got a phone call.” Danny moved around to sit on the stool, “I actually got a promotion.”

“Say what now?” Carmilla asked slightly amused before she took another sip of her drink.

“Yeah, I was told they were absorbing the company to work directly under Morgan Industries instead of as a separate branch. Only, they mentioned it might be called something else soon. They gave me a promotion and put me in charge of employee reviews to make sure everyone was performing at their best.” Danny smiled at Laura, “So whatever you did after we talked, thanks.”

Danny seemed happy about the change that was happening but Carmilla had a feeling something else was going on. Laura also had her doubts on the situation but didn't really have any proof to back it up so she couldn't really say anything at this point.

Danny stood up and grabbed an apple out of the bowl on the counter and took a bite, “So thanks Hollis. I should head out though. I’m supposed to go pick up some paperwork.” She took another bite of her apple and walked herself to the door and left.

Laura stood there without saying anything for a moment before dropping heavily on the stool. “I am so confused.”

Carmilla let out a quick laugh, “Welcome to my world, cutie.”

——

**5:05 pm**

“I don't even know what I’m looking for.” Laura groaned and let the file in her hands drop onto her lap. She leaned her head back on the couch and shut her eyes in frustration.

Carmilla twisted on the stool from the counter and looked her over slowly. Since they had left the office building that morning things had been different. They still weren't on the same side of things, exactly, but they also suddenly had a common enemy. Or common goal, at the very least. They had spent the last few hours going over their files again after getting the new information, hoping to see something they had missed before. No arguments, no angry comments or snide remarks had been uttered the entire afternoon. It had actually been mostly silent as they both combed through files and emails.

Carmilla stood up silently and walked over to the sink. She grabbed a mug from the cupboard and filled it with hot water and added an instant hot chocolate packet to it. She turned around and kept her eyes on Laura as she stirred it.

JP had left a while ago, after pulling up the emails for Carmilla, there wasn't much else for him to do. Carmilla had heard from Will, and he was planning on dropping by later that evening with the paperwork she had sent him to fill out. The plan she had come up with that morning was still their best bet at this point. She still needed to figure out who this mystery person was, but what she had planned might buy her some time at least.

Carmilla made her way over to the couch where Laura was sitting. She still had her head resting on the back cushion and her eyes closed when Carmilla sat down next to her. There was space between them, but not much. Laura lifted her head when she felt the cushions shift and immediately saw the cup of cocoa being held in front of her.

“Thanks.” Laura offered quietly, a little surprised by the gesture. She took the cup and took a sip, smiling as the warmth spread through her. She glanced over the edge of her cup at Carmilla, who had sank back against the couch and was just staring straight ahead. Her expression was soft, she wasn't smiling, but she wasn't scowling either so Laura took that as a good sign. But Laura still didn't know what to do or say.

 _Carmilla had kissed her._ To be fair, she had totally kissed her back, but still. After that things happened so fast there wasn't time to talk about it. Or think about it really. This whole day had happened so fast, there wasn't time to talk about anything relationship related. Laura went over in her mind everything that was begging to be processed that she hadn't been able to get out of her head, despite trying.

 _The bar_. The music Carmilla had played for her and how suddenly things felt different. Laura had always seen things in terms of black and white. Right and wrong. Communication, words, logic.. that was just the way things were.  But Carmilla had spoken to her in a completely different way. Using music to convey emotions and feelings, better than words could have. Things didn't feel quite so black and white suddenly, but more a swirling of colors and textures. It was scary and different and would practically turn her word upside down if she thought too much about what that meant. She had always believed it was simple. Right and wrong. No question. Except now, Laura was questioning.

 _Waking up on the floor._ Sure her emotions were high last night after the blackout in the bar. The conversation she had with Carmilla. The hole in her heart that grew when Carmilla said she didn't know where home was. She was her home. _Laura was home_. At least, she used to be. Was she not anymore? But she had fallen asleep so easily once she was near Carmilla. Even with a wall between them, she just wanted to be close to her. And the fact that Carmilla slept on the floor the whole night too meant she wanted to be close to her just as much.

 _The elevator._ God, what was with them and elevators? She had been angry when she first stepped into it with Carmilla. Frustrated with her interview, with Carmilla’s sarcasm and inability to communicate. But the second Carmilla touched her— She didn't even know what happened, it just did. And then suddenly they were kissing. Kissing like its what they were meant to be doing. Like their lips were made to fit together, their bodies falling into a perfect rhythm. Kissing like there was nothing in the back of her mind screaming at her that this was a terrible idea.

 _And then it was over_. And reality came rushing back.  The paper, her articles, Carmilla's mother, her friends, their jobs, everything. Leaving her even more confused than she was before. Nothing had changed. Not really. Laura was still searching for the truth, trying to right the wrongs of the world. And Carmilla… well, Laura wasn't sure what Carmilla was doing.

Over the last few hours she had been bearable. Nice, even. This wasn't the first cup of hot chocolate she had given her that afternoon. Laura couldn't figure her out. She noticed that Carmilla kept checking the clock, and her phone, like she was waiting for someone. Other than that, she had been silently reading through emails, files and endless information. She had such a look of determination, Laura had never seen her so focused.

It seemed like running into Vordenberg lit a new fire under her— _Wait. Vordenberg_.

“Hey Carm?” Laura took another sip and watched the girl next to her over the edge of the cup.

“Hmm?” Carmilla hummed in response, keeping her eyes locked in front of her.

“How do you know Mr Vordenberg?” Laura watched Carmilla’s eyebrows raise and immediately wondered if this was going to ruin the comfortable energy that had been lingering between them since they started doing research that afternoon. “Is it from the board meetings you went to or..?”

Carmilla shifted her body so she was facing Laura and brought her legs up to sit cross legged on the couch. “Today was the first time I saw him in years, actually.”

“Years?” Laura looked surprised, she thought it was some business connection that left Carmilla with a bad attitude towards him. Now she had no idea what their history could be.

Carmilla looked down at her hands that played with the fabric of her pants near her ankles, “When I was a kid, me and dad used to surprise mom for lunch at the office sometimes. Vordenberg was there occasionally. He always gave me the creeps though.” She looked up to meet Laura’s gaze, “He always had some riddle or brain teaser he’d try to get me to figure out.”

“Yeah that sounds about right.” Laura shook her head, thinking about how hard it was to follow Vordenberg’s train of thought, that alone sometimes felt like a riddle.

“After dad died, he tried to push mother out of her place in charge. Tried to use her sorrow for his own benefit.” Carmilla scoffed, “Joke was on him though. Mother skipped sorrow and just went straight to anger. Working was what she lived for once dad was gone, which didn't make Vordenberg happy.”

Laura set down her cup of hot chocolate and mirrored Carmilla’s position, turning to face her and bringing her legs up onto the cushions.

“I honestly forgot about him. That’s why I didn't put two and two together till I saw him today. Mother had him removed from any position of power, and from what I remember, he barely barely did anything at the company anyway. I’m surprised he’s even on the board.” Carmilla shrugged her shoulders. After all the researching she was exhausted, and all the emotional stuff that had happened over the last two days, she was drained. She didn't have the energy to _feel_ anything about the current situation. She was just focused on finding a solution.

Laura shifted forward a bit so their knees were touching, “He said his family helped start the company. That some drama happened and your families split the original business. I guess the Morgans were more successful though, cause his families shut down but they bought enough stock in Morgan Industries to buy their way onto the board. He’s been there ever since.”

“Yeah well, his reign of idiocy is going to be short lived.” Carmilla leaned on her shoulder against the couch.

“What do you mean?”

“I uh-“ Carmilla fumbled over her words slightly, realizing she hadn't let Laura in on her plan yet, “I just mean, we are so close to figuring things out.” She turned her body to face the coffee table again and picked up her lap top, bringing it onto her lap.

Laura took that as a sign that the conversation was over. With how up and down things had been lately, she decided not to push it. She twisted in her spot on the couch and picked up her own files again, looking through them slowly. A few pages in and she realized she hadn't actually been reading anything, her thoughts were on the girl next to her.

They had been working silently in the same room all afternoon, but now they were sharing the couch. And they had just had a whole conversation without fighting once. That was progress, right? Maybe this working together to find an answer thing is what they should have been doing the whole time.

——

**7:40 pm**

"Kitty." Will whispered as he gently patted his sister knee, waking her up slowly.

Carmilla heard his voice and fought to open her eyes. Her eyes stung from how tired she was and it hurt to open them fully. 

"Hey, I brought those papers like you wanted." Will stood up straight and put his hands in his pockets, nodding towards the kitchen, "I set them on the counter."

Carmilla brought a hand up to rub the sleep from her eyes and was about to force herself to stand up when she noticed the head leaning gently on her shoulder. 

"She's asleep." Will confirmed, giving her a small smile. "Things are going better I see."

Carmilla sighed and let herself relax back against the couch, "Kind of, not really. Maybe."

"Wow. You sure do have a way with words." Will grinned smugly at her. 

"Fuck off." Carmilla rolled her eyes and fought a smile. 

"A true poet." He sat down on the edge of the coffee table. "So are you going to fill me in on why I'm sighing over my share of the company to mom?"

Carmilla turned quickly to the head still resting on her shoulder.

Will noticed and pressed his eyebrows together, "She doesn't know?"

Carmilla sighed and let her eyes take in the sigh of Laura asleep, "No. Not yet." She looked back at will who was frowning slightly, "It's complicated."

Will nodded and narrowed his eyes, wanting to say something but not sure he should. 

Carmilla raised an eyebrow at him, "Just say it."

"Secrets are never the answer. You may have a different approach but you're both after the same thing whether you know it or not." He stood up and took a few steps towards the door, "Let her in. Before you lose her Carmilla."

Carmilla let out a humorless laugh, knowing he was right but afraid to let that reality sink in, "And you say I'm the poet."

"What can I say, I learned from the best." He walked to the door and opened it wide. Before stepping out he turned back around. "Love doesn't mean you always agree on everything. But just because you don't agree doesn't mean she won't fight with everything she has to help you if I you just let her."

Carmilla let out a breath and reached over to brush some hair out of Laura's face, tucking it behind her ear. They must have fallen asleep while they were going over things, looking for answers. It was comfortable, being this close to Laura. Her relaxing breathing as she slept was peaceful and somehow pulled Carmilla out of her own head. After watching her sleep for a moment, Carmilla let herself settle back into the cushions carefully, trying not to wake the girl leaning on her shoulder, and shut her own eyes.

Will was right. She couldn't shut Laura out forever. And it was completely possible that she could lose her if things didn't change. But for right now, sleeping seemed like a better idea than worrying. So she placed her hand gently on Laura’s thigh and leaned her head to rest on top of Laura’s. Her breathing quickly matched the brunettes sitting next to her as she drifted back to sleep.

——

**8:45 pm**

Laura yawned and blinked slowly when she started to wake up. She had no idea when she had fallen asleep or what time it was, but it was already dark outside and the apartment was just as dark. She started to sit up once her eyes were mostly in focus and realized she had somehow ended up laying on Carmilla’s shoulder. With Carmilla’s hand on her thigh. And her own hand wrapped around the top of Carmilla’s.

Laura slowly turned her head to look at the dark haired girl next to her and saw that she was asleep, head resting back against the couch, lap top on the cushion next to her. Suddenly she felt like this was the hardest decision she's ever face: get up, or stay there.

No matter how complicated things were, it was nice to be close to Carmilla, and these moments were few and far between. She wasn't sure when the next time something like this might happen, and it was hard to remove herself from it willingly. But as nice at this was— she really had to pee.

As gently and smoothly as she could, Laura got up from the couch without waking Carmilla and went to the bathroom. before leaving the bedroom she decided to change her clothes, throwing on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. When she came back, Carmilla was exactly where she had left her. Asleep, beautiful, and a million miles away.

With a sigh, Laura walked into the kitchen and flipped on the light. She was stirring her hot chocolate powder into a cup of hot water when she noticed the papers on the edge of the counter. Her and Carmilla had agreed to share information that afternoon, but these seemed new. When she walked over to get a better look at them she could tell right away it was a legal document. And it had Wills name on it. _Definitely new._

——

**9:10 pm**

Carmilla woke up quickly, sitting up in her seat with wide eyes. She looked next to her where Laura had been, but the seat was empty. “Laura?”

“Right here.” Laura answered quietly from the arm chair in the corner of the room. She took a sip of her drink to avoid looking at Carmilla.

With a sigh of relief, Carmilla slowly sat back against the couch. “I thought—“ She shook her head and looked up at Laura, immediately registering that something was wrong.

Laura finally looked up at her for a moment, searching her eyes before nodding towards the table. The pile of papers Will had brought that Laura had found were now sitting in front of Carmilla neatly.

Carmilla leaned forward and picked them up, she looked at it quickly and realized what they were. It seemed letting Laura in was going to happen sooner rather than later. If she would listen that is, because Laura did not look happy.

“I can explain.”

“Thats a huge risk ,Carmilla.” Laura shook her head and turned to look out the window next to her.

“I know.” Carmilla scooted forward, sitting on the edge of the couch and rested her forearms on her legs.

Carmilla's master plan was finally coming out into the open. After some research, Carmilla had found out that the reason Vordenberg had so easily taken charge of the board was because out of everyone still there, he held the most shares in the company. Owning the largest portion. But there was a way to get around that. Both Will and Carmilla owned quite a few shares themselves, and adding those shares to their mothers would mean Lilita would have ownership of over 51% of the company. A large number more than Vordenberg, and enough to put her back on the board and in charge without contest.

With Lilita on the board, she would be able to hire Carmilla back as council. Which would allow her access to all the information pertaining to the company (on top of the files she already stole) in order to finally figure out what was really going on and who was really responsible for the mess. It would also look better to a judge if Lilita’s involvement with the company continued while the issues were remedied so if it came down to it, her sentence might be a little less extreme.

On the flip side— Lilita did look guilty. Everything Carmilla had found so far pointed right at her. And if she was guilty, and suddenly owned over half the company, she could literally take what money was left and run. The only thing telling Carmilla that wouldn't happen, was her gut.

“I believe you.” Laura sighed and set her cup on the table. After hearing Carmilla plan she still felt it was risky, but she had her own suspicions after today.

“You do?” Carmilla was genuinely surprised at that response. Up until this moment Laura had been all about her mother being guilty. Her last article practically threw her in jail, after all.

“Today when I went to the newspaper to grab those papers, my editor caught me and called me into his office to talk.” Laura lifted her foot and tucked it underneath her, “He said he got a phone call from someone who was upset about some of the questions I had been asking and content in my articles.”

“And that makes you trust me?” Carmilla wasn't sure where this was going.

“Kind of.” Laura shrugged, her lips twisting to the side like she was thinking, “My editor said that whatever I was getting into was some serious stuff. I asked if he was telling me to stop digging and he said no. To dig deeper.”

Laura stood up and grabbed her cup and started walking over to the sink, “I’m not saying your mother is innocent, I still think theres a lot of unanswered questions. But I do think there is more going on than what looks like the obvious.” She set her cup in the sink and turned around to lean back on the counter.

“So what does this mean?” Carmilla stood up and walked over to lean on the island counter that separated her and Laura.

“Earlier today— in the elevator..” Laura glanced up at Carmilla hesitantly at the mention of what had happened earlier that day. They still hadn't talked about it and she still didn't know what it meant.

Carmilla’s eyes looked nervous, probably for the same reason that Laura’s did. She was afraid she had crossed a line when she kissed Laura earlier that day. She wasn't even sure how it happened, it just did. And while she didn't regret it, she wasn't sure Laura felt the same about it. Things were so confusing between them right now, Carmilla wasn't sure what she would do if thats what Laura wanted to talk about.

Laura cleared her throat, “Earlier today you said to trust you.”

Carmilla let out a relieved breath that Laura had skipped right over the part where they had kissed.

“And I want to. Trust you, I mean.”

Carmilla nodded slowly. This was a definitely a new approach to the situation. But it might not be all that bad.

Laura took a step forward, pressing her palms on the counter across from Carmilla, “Soo.. maybe we could try to work together? Instead of against each other?”

Carmilla raised an eyebrow and bit her lip, considering Laura’s words, “I think I’d like that, very much.”

Laura let out a sigh as a genuine smile broke out on her face, “Good. Great. I mean, it’ll be good. Working together. On this. Cause you know, two heads are better than one and all that.”

Carmilla watched as Laura got more flustered with every word she said and was glad she didn't have to fight the smile that was growing on her lips. _Maybe this was the answer to fixing things all along._

“Cupcake, stop talking before you hurt yourself.”

“Right. Good idea.” Laura laughed slightly embarrassed as she shook her head at herself.

“But uh, how about we tackle all this unknown evil in the morning. I don't think I’ve slept well all week and I could use a break from all this useless research.” Carmilla stood up and walked into the bedroom to grab some clothes to sleep in. Sure she could deal with the couch, but sleeping in leather pants was definitely not comfortable.

Laura followed her into the bedroom and climbed on the bed, backing herself up so her back was against the head board. She watched Carmilla grab a t-shirt and disappear into the bathroom. A few minutes later she came out wearing the shirt and running her hand through her hair, clearly ready for bed. She was about to walk out the bedroom door to her place on the couch when Laura stopped her.

“Carm?”

Carmilla stopped and gripped the doorframe but didn't turn around, “hmm?”  She heard movement come from the bed, like the covers were being adjusted or Laura was scooting around.

“You should… just stay here.” Laura’s voice was extremely quiet, so much so that Carmilla wasn't sure she heard her right.

Carmilla turned around her eyebrows pushed together like she was confused but saw that Laura had scooted over to one side of the bed, leaving her side open. She hesitated a minute, looking at the bed, then down at the ground, then up at Laura.

Laura looked nervous but she had managed to keep herself from ranting, even with the lack of response. She watched Carmilla closely trying to decide if she should try to retract her offer, but really hoping she wouldn't have to.

Carmilla sighed and dropped her hand from the door frame, but instead of walking over to the bed, she left the bedroom, leaving Laura staring at the doorway with disappointment. Laura dropped back onto her pillow and covered her face with her hands.

“I’m such an idiot.” Laura groaned into her palms.

As soon as she finished chastising herself she felt the mattress dip and immediately moved her hands and looked over next to her. Carmilla was sliding into the covers and pulling them over her. Carmilla noticed Laura’s surprised expression and shrugged as she fluffed up the pillow before placing it behind her.

“I had to get my pillow.” with that Carmilla laid down, looked up at the ceiling and clasped her hands together on her stomach.

Laura bit her bottom lip to try and contain her smile, “you mean _my_ pillow?” she eyed the yellow pillow under Carmilla’s head and shifted onto her side to face her.

Carmilla turned her head to look at Laura, “Well cutie, possession is nine tenths.” She gave Laura a wink and found herself much too happy about the quiet giggle that it received in return.

“Goodnight, Carm.” Laura whispered before rolling back onto her back and closing her eyes.

Carmilla kept her eyes on Laura, watching her get comfortable in the bed beside her for the first time in what felt like forever. Being next to her felt like coming home.

“Goodnight, Laura.” Carmilla watched Laura’s lips twitch up into a smile at the use of her name as the rest of her relaxed.

Carmilla looked back up at the ceiling as she slowly lowered her hand from off her stomach to rest beside her. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath she moved her hand towards Laura, brushing slowly across the mattress. When she was close enough, she used the back of her finger to brush along the length of Laura’s forearm until it reached the back of her hand.

Laura felt the hair on her arm stand up straight as goosebumps covered her skin at the feel of Carmilla’s finger brushing across it. She felt a shaky breath fill her chest as Carmilla's finger stopped on the back of her hand. Swallowing the nervous lump in her throat, Laura forced herself to exhale slowly as she dropped her own hand from her stomach onto the mattress next to her.

Carmilla pressed the back of her hand against Laura’s for a second before slowly inching her fingers into Laura’s palm. Carmilla brushed her fingertips lightly up her palm until they fell into the spaces between Laura’s fingers. Interlocking their fingers slowly, Laura closed her grip, locking their hands together tightly as they both exhaled a sigh of relief.

It took a while for Carmilla to get her heart rate under control and she was sure she wasn't imagining Laura trying and failing to breathe normally. But she kept her eyes closed in case it was all a dream. In case coming home was something she had imagined and in reality she was alone on the couch.

Laura couldn't figure out why holding Carmilla’s hand made her feel like she needed an inhaler. Her breathing was quick and as much as she was trying to hide it, she was sure it was pretty obvious. but the soothing feeling of Carmilla brushing her thumb over her skin as they held hands eventually calmed her down and she was able to fall asleep next to the girl she was still madly in love with. Things weren't perfect, they were still messy and complicated and hard.. but Laura realized she didn't want perfect. _She wanted Carmilla._

Maybe it was messy and complicated, but at least now they were dealing with it together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: yoitsmeecass (incase you want to come say hey)


	20. Better than Murder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carm and Laura work to figure some stuff out.. they get a little closer again ;)
> 
> the closet part... I was listening to Bloodstream by Stateless while writing it. In case you want to listen while you read.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all the awesome comments and notes you guys leave. makes me happy to know you guys are enjoying the story :) keep em coming!

She's not sure how it happened, but Carmilla felt like a teenager again. Stealing glances, shy smiles, heart rate picking up at the simplest of touches. A fucking teenager.

The last couple days had been especially lacking in excitement. Because of the holiday and the weekend, Carmilla’s master plan to sign over her and Will’s portion of the company was on hold until the courts were open again on Monday. Laura had the weekend off from the paper and really didn't even need to go into the office unless she wanted to— her article wasn't due until Thursday, and she was free to use her time until then however she wanted.

After coming to a semi-agreement with Laura on Friday that they would try to work together, instead of constantly fighting, things had been better. In a way. Saturday and Sunday was spent mostly at home, cooped up in their apartment going through files and papers for what felt like the hundredth time. A few Netflix breaks and random naps were thrown in to break up their time waiting for Monday to come.

But with things left un talked about (their elevator kiss), things felt not quite awkward, but definitely not clear. They were getting along yes, but did that mean things were back to normal, back to the way they were before all this started? Carmilla had no clue, and she wasn't about to ask because talking about it would probably be worse than wondering about it. So she waited. Waited for Laura to either say something or do something to make things clear as to where they were, as a couple.

It seemed Laura was doing the same thing. _Waiting._

So Instead of being adults and talking about it, they were acting like teenagers.

_Saturday…_

Laura woke up first, hand still holding to Carmilla’s in their bed. For a second she forgot about everything that had led to that moment and almost rolled over to wake her girlfriend with a kiss, when reality suddenly came rushing back. She stopped herself just in time, lips about to brush a pale cheek, replaced with warm breath leaving her lungs shakily.

She watched the girl next to her breathe steadily, her dark curls a mess across the pillow, her free arm bent with her hand resting behind her head. Laura quietly reached out with her free hand and took hold of a curl, wrapping it around her finger and dragging her finger down to the end gently.

Carmilla’s eyelids fluttered open slowly, her chest rising with a sleepy breath as she started to wake. Laura brought her free hand back, holding it close to her chest as she watched Carmilla’s forehead wrinkle with the glare she was sure was meant for the light breaking through the window. She was about to pull her hand from Carmilla’s when the dark haired girls grip tightened upon waking and she rolled to her side, eyes still closed, pulling their interlocked hands up to her lips.

Carmilla placed a kiss on the back of Laura’s hand before opening her eyes to be met with wide eyes and a surprised expression from Laura.

_Shit._

“I uh— sorry.” Carmilla’s voice was scratchy from sleep as she pulled their hands away from her lips and untangled their fingers. She sat up quickly, scooting away from Laura slightly and looking down at her hands, “I didn’t, I was— just..”

“Its ok.” Laura whispered, her own voice still full of sleep. She pulled her hand back towards her slowly, the back of her hand still tingling from where Carmilla’s lips had met her skin. She stayed on her side watching Carmilla shift in place on the mattress.

Carmilla looked at Laura quickly after her quiet response. _This was stupid. Why was she apologizing?_ Her lips twisted up in to a small smile, looking at Laura laying there next to her. Feeling silly about this whole interaction Carmilla let out a deep breath as she climbed out of the bed.

“I should, uh..” Carmilla trailed off, pointing to the bathroom as she walked around the bed. She couldn't explain why, but she felt nervous and embarrassed.

Laura followed her with her eyes, a smile forming as she watched Carmilla’s face redden slightly. Flustered Carmilla was adorable, and all she could do was nod and try her hardest not to giggle at the sight of Carmilla nearly tripping over her own feet trying to get to the bathroom.

—

Carmilla glanced over at Laura from her place at the kitchen counter. Laura was focused on her computer screen, her eyes narrowed in concentration and a pencil caught between her teeth and a pen in her hand. It was just after noon and even though they had a slow start to the morning, they had been back at researching for a while now. Carmilla felt stuck— even after hours of research, she wasn't coming up with anything solid to help her case. She knew she was missing something, but didn't know what. And until she figured out what it was, going over files felt pointless. It was like trying to solve a secret code without the key. Pointless.

Carmilla grabbed her cup of coffee and stood up, making her way slowly over to the couch, sitting down next to Laura. She sat down, placed her coffee on the table in front of them and watched Laura, waiting for her to notice she was there.

Without looking away from her computer Laura reached out for the mug Carmilla had set on the table and brought it to her lips. She paused for a moment, realizing her pencil was still being held between her teeth and with a cup in one hand a pen in the other, she had no free hand to remove it. She let out a huff and pouted as best she could with her pencil in her mouth.

Carmilla smiled and reached over to grab onto the pencil between two fingers. Laura let go with her teeth as soon as Carmilla had gripped it and felt herself blush as she fought a bashful smile at the automatic help Carmilla had given her.

“Thanks.” she whispered, bringing the cup to her lips slowly, keeping her eyes trained on the liquid inside.

Carmilla raised an eyebrow and twirled the pencil between her fingers as she watched Laura take a sip.

Immediately upon taking a sip Laura started to sputter a cough and her face twisted into one of slight disgust, having not expected the current taste on her tongue. “This isn't hot chocolate.” She flicked her tongue a few times trying to get the taste to lessen in her mouth.

Carmilla chuckled quietly, “Great observation, sherlock.” She set down the pencil and took the cup from Laura’s hand, “That would be my coffee, sweetheart.”

Laura’s eyes went wide with embarrassment, “Oh, I thought.. why’d you let me..?”

Carmilla gave her a crooked smile and brought the cup to her own lips as she shrugged.

Laura shook her head and glared at her playfully before turning back to her computer. Out of the corner of her eye she watched as Carmilla stood and went back to the kitchen. She was glad there was a certain playfulness beginning to take place of the awkward and strained tension that had previously been between them. It honestly felt like it did before they started dating. Flirting, nervous touches, trying to steal glances when the other wasn't looking. But it was different, because there was a different sense of familiarity to it now. They had grown to be so in sync with one another over the last few months, that this pre-relationship tension mixed with the fact that they knew each other so intimately put them on a whole new level.

Laura wasn't sure what Camilla was thinking, or where they were. And as much as she wanted to figure it out- there were other things that seemed more pressing at the moment. So with this playfulness growing between them, she figured it was better to just ride it out at this point. Wait and see what happened. They were headed in a good direction, and right now that was good enough for her.

A few minutes later Carmilla was back, setting down Laura’s Tardis mug on the coffee table before disappearing into the bedroom without a word. Laura bit her lip as soon as Carmilla set the cup down, then shamelessly watched her walk away. Once she was in the other room she grabbed the cup and took a sip of the warm hot chocolate it held.

She smiled to herself and sank back against the couch, holding her cup with both hands. _Yeah, right now, playful was good. She could handle playful._

—

 _Sunday..._  

Laura woke up before Carmilla, which was normally the case. But once again, their hands were intertwined in the bed. While Laura didn't mind, at all, she's positive they weren't holding hands when they fell asleep. She was also positive they hadn't been sharing the same pillow. Which, now they were. 

Carmilla was on her side, just inches away from Laura despite the large amount of space on her side of the bed. Her hand was clutching Laura's and pulled up close to her chest.

Laura couldn't help but stare at her. With how close she was to her face, it was hard not to.  Her eyes lingered on Carmilla’s lips long enough that she didn't notice Carmilla’s eyes had opened until her lips moved into a smirk. 

This time it was Laura's turn to blush. She made eye contact with Carmilla as her face flushed hot before burying her face in her pillow to hide her smile.

 _Yeah, playful was good_. 

\--

Sunday afternoon was pretty much like Saturday. _Lazy_. Carmilla was in the kitchen making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich when Laura walked out of the bedroom and over to the fridge. She opened the door long enough to stare inside and realize she wasn't actually hungry, just bored.  

After the intensity of the last week- what with constant arguing, interviews, dramatic emails, blackouts, etc.— this new found slow pace of the weekend seemed to make it drag on forever.  Add that to the fact that her and Carmilla were in a semi-good place with each other, yet still not really talking a whole lot, only added to the weekend feeling endless. 

Laura grabbed a soda, shut the fridge and was about to walk away when she was suddenly face to face with Carmilla. 

Carmilla was holding the jar of jelly in one hand and licking some peanut butter off a finger on the other. Laura stumbled finding herself caught between the fridge and Carmilla and took a step to the side to try and get out of the way. 

Just as Laura stepped, so did Carmilla.  Immediately followed by another step in the opposite direction by both women. Carmilla smirked and raised an eyebrow at their moment of synchronization. 

Laura gave a small smile and tried once more to step out of the way, but was matched once again by a step from Carmilla. 

"Cupcake, if you want to dance, all you have to do is ask." Carmilla’s voice was low and sultry, her classic flirty tone smooth as velvet. 

Laura tried to hide the fact that Carmilla’s voice made her heart pound unexpectedly, "Very funny. I was just getting a soda." She shook the soda in her hand before realizing shaking soda was not something you should do and pouting towards the now pressurized can in her hand.

Carmilla chuckled and set the jelly on the counter before reaching her hand out and placing it on Laura's hip. Her other hand reached for the soda can, but Laura lifted her arm trying to hold it away from Carmilla. An eyebrow was raised by the dark haired girl as she reached forward again, this time taking hold of the can and gently placing it on the counter next to her jelly. Now that Laura’s hand was free, Carmilla took hold of it, intertwining their fingers and used the hand on Laura’s hip to pull her close.

“We’ve been dancing around each other all weekend, it felt time we dance together.” Carmilla smiled sweetly and started to sway with Laura following along.

Laura bit her lip and looked down towards their feet, watching the small steps Carmilla was making, trying to ignore the heat rising up the back of her neck. It was nice, having things be good between them. And it was interesting, not quite being back to where they were before, but making an effort still. It was obvious there was still something special between them. That hadn't changed at all. It probably never would.

They danced slowly in the kitchen together, Laura finally looking up to be met with a soft expression and a sweet smile from Carmilla. The hand on the small of her back was gentle as the fingertips pressed firmly against her to lead her around the room. Carmilla let go of Laura’s back and lifted her arm, leading her under it in a twirl then pulled her back into her arms confidently. Her arm wrapped around Laura’s waist tightly, pulling her body flush against her own. Laura arm wrapped around Carmilla shoulder, her hand resting on the nape of her neck, scratching her fingers up into dark curls.

Carmilla smiled mischievously before dipping Laura down near the floor. Laura let out a loud laugh as she closed her eyes and let her head fall back. Carmilla’s smile got impossibly wider at the sound and she pulled her back up to stand and pulled her close. Letting go of Laura’s hand, she wrapped both arms around her waist as the brunette let her arms hang loosely over Carmilla’s shoulders.

“I wasn't expecting that.” Laura giggled, tightening her arms around Carmilla’s neck, bringing their faces closer together.

Carmilla just smiled warmly at her and continued to sway back and forth slowly. Her eyes were dark but no longer looked tired. Laura couldn't believe the difference when she thought back to the night she found her in the rain. How she could look so broken one night, and so alive another.

Laura’s smile started to falter as her brain started reeling. She watched Carmilla’s eyes and saw the way their brightness shifted at Laura’s change in expression. She never noticed before how incredibly in tune Carmilla was to how she was feeling without having to tell her.

Carmilla didn't say anything, but slowed their movements and lifted a hand to tuck a strand of hair behind Laura’s ear. She could tell something was on her mind, but she didn't want this moment to end. She had been longing to be in Laura’s arms and now that it was happening, she couldn't let go.

Laura dropped her gaze and bit her lip nervously, “Carm?”

They were close enough that a whisper was all that was needed. Their bodies pressed together, swaying in silence, or rather to the music that was created by every touch, every breath, every look that was shared between them. A symphony of feelings orbiting around them like comets flying through the universe.

“Hmmm?” Carmilla hummed in response as she pressed her cheek to Laura’s. She exhaled heavily as she tightened her grip and closed her eyes.

“I know there’s been a lot going on and its been a long week, and so much has happened, I mean I cant believe its only been— that doesn't even matter. I just mean, a few days ago we, well we weren’t.. but now.. and I wasn't sure because we haven't really talked about—”

“Laura. Breathe.” Carmilla smiled against warm skin, nuzzling further into Laura’s neck. Her voice was calm, her touch was soft, everything about her in that moment seemed to calm Laura immediately.

“Are we ok?” Laura breathed out, leaning her head to press further against dark curls. Her hand reached up to scratch the nape of Carmilla neck gently as she waited for a response.

Carmilla stopped moving but didn't let go of her grip on Laura. She moved so her lips were next to Laura’s ear and smiled against her cheek.

“Always.” She whispered back before brushing the tip of her nose across Laura’s skin below her ear, sending a shiver through Laura’s body.

They sighed in unison before starting to sway again. They weren't sure how much time had passed before they finally separated but they both felt an absence of warmth as soon as they did.

Laura pouted when she picked up her now warm and shaken soda, but before she could walk away, Carmilla took it from her and stuck it back in the fridge and grabbed a new one. She popped open the top of the can and took a sip before handing it to a smiling Laura. Carmilla turned back to her sandwich and took a bite then held it out for Laura to take a bite as well.

Laura took the biggest bite she could manage while trying not to laugh before Carmilla pulled back her sandwich with a playful glare. Her glare disappeared quickly and was replaced with a quiet chuckle.

“You got a little..” Carmilla reached up and brushed her thumb across Laura’s lip, wiping some jelly from the corner of her mouth.

Laura’s playful smile fell as Carmilla’s finger ran the length of her mouth and she watched as she stuck her thumb into her mouth to suck off the jelly. The tension in the room shifted dramatically, once again, and Laura could barely keep up. From the awkward side step in front of the fridge, that turned into dancing in the kitchen, to sweet smiles and even sweeter words, to…

“Thanks.” Laura gulped as she struggled to pull her eyes away from Carmilla’s lips as the licked away the jelly.

 _…to that_. To Carmilla being incredibly sexy just by eating a sandwich. And now that they were actually getting along, it was going to be harder to ignore.

Carmilla smacked her lips and took another bite before she grabbed Laura’s wrist and pulled her down onto the kitchen floor. She leaned back against the counter and smiled around her bite of sandwich.

“We do have a table, you know.” Laura smirked and took a sip of her soda, hoping the blush on her cheeks wasn't too noticeable. She shifted slightly so her shoulder pressed against Carmilla’s but made no attempt to go anywhere.

“I know.” Carmilla smiled and held out her sandwich for Laura to take another bite.

Laura shook her head but didn't refuse the food being given to her. She leaned over and took another bite while Carmilla held it for her. They sat there together on the floor in the kitchen, sharing peanut butter and jelly, and grape soda until they had gone through 3 sodas and a second sandwich.

——

**Monday**

**3:45 am**

“Carm, wake up.” Laura whined sleepily, turning to face the girl next to her.

Once again, they had fallen asleep with their hands intertwined while still maintaining a safe distance from one another. At first Laura was disappointed, especially after their dance in the kitchen and their simple declaration that they were ok. They hadn't talked about much of anything that had happened lately, but Carmilla’s simple answer to her question seemed to calm her nerves on the topic, at least for now.

The hand locked onto Laura’s gripped tighter, causing the brunette to sit up quickly at the slight pain that ran up her arm from it.

“Carm, you’re dreaming.” She reached over with her free hand to shake Carmilla’s shoulder in an attempt to wake her up gently. She tried to pull her hand away from Carmilla’s but her grip grew tighter once again.

Even in the dark Laura could make out Carmilla’s features; she looked terrified. Her eyebrows pressed together hard and a scowl spread across her face, her breathing was quick and shallow. Just like her hand, the rest of her body seemed to tense up more by the second.

“Hey, carm, come on. Wake up…” Laura was practically pleading for her to wake up. She didn't even care about the tight grip her hand was in anymore. Seeing Carmilla distraught and not being able to do anything made her heart ache.

Carmilla finally woke up, her eyes shifting around the room quickly like she wasn't sure where she was. She sat up and tried to take a deep breath but couldn't quite fill her lungs. Finally getting her eyes to adjust she looked over at Laura and was met with an expression of pure concern. Her free hand was rubbing gently up and down Carmilla’s thigh while the hand still locked in a vice like grip, gripped back like she was trying to anchor her in reality.

Carmilla looked back down into her lap and hung her head slightly, trying to focus on breathing. Her lungs felt like they were on fire and her heart was about to break through her chest. She loosened her grip on Laura’s hand and shut her eyes tightly. A flash of her nightmare filled her mind— _Something shattered around her and she was covered in its pieces. Cold. Sharp. Unforgiving._ — It was always the same.

“Sorry.” She breathed out, trying to take another deep breath. She shook her head and swallowed down the lump that had formed in her throat. With a heavy sigh she dropped back onto the pillow behind her, bringing her free arm up to cover her face.

Carmilla’s grip on Laura’s hand had lessened, but she didn't want to let go, and she hoped Laura would let go either.

Laura stayed sitting but shifted to face Carmilla better, “You don’t have to say sorry.” She gripped Carmilla’s hand with both of hers and brushed her thumb over her fingers slowly.

“Do you..” Laura took a second to consider if it was a good idea to ask. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Carmilla lifted her arm off her face and turned to look at Laura. She looked nervous, concerned and sleepy. She was utterly adorable. Suddenly the nightmare was the last thing on Carmilla’s mind and she tugged on Laura's hand, pulling her down to lay next to her. They just looked at each other for a moment, laying on their sides, their hands clasped between them.

Carmilla shook her head slightly. “Thank you.” she whispered, the corner of her mouth twitching up into a smile then quickly falling neutral again.

Carmilla couldn't explain the dream. It was mostly a feeling, which was hard to articulate. Waking up in a panic wasn't new, but feeling anchored to reality so quickly after waking, was. That was thanks to Laura. Whether she knew it or not.

Laura looked confused for a second, “I didn't do anything.”

The light from the window shone through softly, a glow settling around them. Shadows that a moment ago seemed threatening and violent, now just shifted slowly across the walls and ceiling like curtains flowing gently.

“You did.” Carmilla’s eyes closed and she let go of Laura’s hand.

Laura frowned at her now empty hand, until Carmilla shifted and moved to press her body against Laura’s. She wrapped an arm over Laura’s stomach and nuzzled her face in to the space between her neck and chest. Laura sighed and wrapped her arms around Carmilla’s body, feeling her warmth for the second time that day, reminding her how much she had missed it.

Carmilla started to hum quietly, trying to distract herself from the memory of her nightmare, the notes slightly broken as she continued to try to calm her breathing. The vibration spread through Laura’s chest and without thinking she began to sing quietly while she ran her fingers through dark curls. Warm breath spread across Laura’s skin as Carmilla let out a sigh and her whole body relaxed into Laura’s embrace. It didn't take long for them both to fall asleep again.

——

**1:15 pm**

Carmilla grabbed the back of an empty chair and dragged it along the floor over to Laura’s desk. She sat the to-go cup in front of her and sat down in the chair, immediately leaning back into the back 2 legs.

Laura looked up surprised, giving Carmilla a wide smile before glancing around the large office at the newspaper. “I didn't know you were coming by.”

Carmilla used her foot propped up on the edge of Laura’s desk to push herself back and forth on the back legs of her chair slowly, “I just finished talking to a judge about some stuff and thought I’d come by and say hey.”

Laura cleared her throat, trying to lessen the wide grin on her face as she picked up the cup Carmilla had set in front of her and took a big gulp.

“I uh, didn't hear you leave this morning.” Carmilla picked at her nails casually.

“Yeah, I thought maybe we would have better luck finding something if I came and used some of the resources here at the paper.” Laura set down her cup and started gathering a pile of papers. “I’ve been looking through every database I can think of. Police records, credit applications, school records, land ownership, everything, and I cant find a single thing on our mystery Rob. It's like outside of these emails, the company and the bogus financial papers he doesn't exist. Its weird.”

Carmilla nodded, watching Laura be completely distracted what she was doing. Dropping her chair back onto all 4 legs she leaned forward, resting her forearms on the desk and dropping her voice quieter, “Hey.”

Laura looked up from her task but didn't say anything. She just looked curiously at Carmilla, not being able to read her expression.

“Last night.” Carmilla started, clearly uneasy talking about the topic.

“Hey, its ok.” Laura shrugged, leaning across the desk and taking hold of Carmilla’s hands, “You know I’m always here, right?” She tilted her head to the side slightly, trying to pull Carmilla’s gaze up from where it was locked on their hands.

Carmilla nodded but didn't look up.

“I know things have been, complicated..” She trailed off slightly realizing she really had no clue where they actually stood on things despite their closeness the last couple days, “But I still..”

_Love you._

Carmilla waited to hear the words she was hoping were on the tip of Laura’s tongue but nothing came. She had completely stopped talking. Carmilla looked up quickly to see why she hadn't finished her sentence and saw Laura’s stare was fixed over her shoulder on something. Carmilla slowly turned her head to look behind her, curious to see what had pulled Laura from the moment they were sharing and was just as surprised as Laura seemed to be.

Mattie. And Vordenberg. Were walking out of her editors office.

“What the hell?” Carmilla whispered, starting to turn her whole body towards the interaction happening in the office doorway.

Laura tugged on her hand, bringing Carmilla’s attention back to her, “They’ve been in there for a while. I don’t know why though.” Her voice was in a rushed whisper, and she looked just as curious as Carmilla was.

“Carmilla.”

Laura let go of her hands and locked her eyes on the computer on her desk, pretending not to pay attention to anything but her work. Carmilla spun around in her chair at the sound of Mattie’s voice and was about to speak when Vordenberg stepped up next to her.

“Its good to see you.” Mattie pressed her lips together tightly and she clasped her hands in front of her. Her posture was rigid and her expression stern, nothing like the sisterly attitude she had when it was just her and Carmilla.

“Likewise.” Carmilla leaned her elbows back on Laura’s desk and crossed her leg over her knee, “What brings you to this side of town?” her leg bounced lazily as she looked between the two figures standing in front of her. Vordenberg still gave her the creeps, just like she remembered.

“Just taking out some ad space to try and get the good word out about the companies improvements as of late.” Vordenberg smiled and rested both his hands on the cane firmly in front of him.

Mattie rolled her eyes silently before shooting Carmilla a look that only she understood. _Something was up._

“Miss Belmonde, shall we go?” Vordenberg looked at her expectantly.

Laura was peering over the top of her screen watching the interaction and couldn't help her eyes widen as she looked from person to person. The spoken conversation happening was definitely short of words but the looks that were being given were screaming a million things at once.

Mattie gave a tight lipped smile before turning and walking away, the sound of her heels clicking across the floor.

“A pleasure as always, Miss Hollis.” Vordenberg gave a slight bow and pretended to tip his non existent hat towards Laura before turning to Carmilla, “My dear Mircalla.”

His voice sent a uncomfortable wave through Laura and she forced a smile at him as she waited for him to leave.

Carmilla turned around and rolled her eyes, letting out a huff as she picked up a pen from the desk and started twirling it around her fingers.

“What was that? Why’d he call you Mircalla?” Laura asked, no longer pretending to work on her computer.

Carmilla let out an annoyed snort and shook her head, “One of his games. He called me that as a kid. If you switch the letters around in my name—“ Her eyes went wide and she sat up straight, dropping the pen on the desk. _Holy shit_.

“Holy shit.”

“What?” Laura’s eyebrows pushing together at the sudden change in Carmilla’s demeanor.

Carmilla stood up quickly and walked around to Laura’s side of the desk and started pushing papers around like she was looking for something.

“Carm, what are you doing? You're making a mess.” Laura scooted her chair back slightly, watching Carmilla go through her desk quickly.

She picked up a pen and pulled open the top drawer of Laura’s desk and grabbed a pad of paper and scribbled down ‘Vordenberg’ at the top, then underneath wrote ‘Rob G Vender’. She started marking lines, matching up the similar letters until they had all been matched.

“Holy crap.” Laura whispered as she leaned forward and pressed her fingers to the pad of paper, studying it more carefully.

Carmilla shook her head and stood up straight, looking over to the path Vordenberg had used to leave the office. She dropped the pen and let out a humorless chuckle.

“Vordenberg is Vender?” Laura looked up at Carmilla as she tried to wrap her brain around this epiphany.

“Looks like it cupcake.” She was only half paying attention to Laura though. Honestly she was angry at herself for not realizing it sooner.

"Vordenberg is Voldemort!" Laura's voice changed quickly from slight confusion to utter amusement. 

Carmilla turned back to look at her with a frown. "What?"

“Voldemort." Laura said it like there was really no need for explanation, "You know, Harry Potter? The books.”

Carmilla just looked at her blankly. _Is she serious right now?_ She turned and started headed for the exit without saying anything. 

"How do you not know who Voldemort is?" Laura stood up from her desk, grabbing her things quickly and started following her out. 

"Never read it."

"What?!" Laura looked around at the sudden shift of heads turned to look at her. _Maybe she was a little too excited about this._

Carmilla was out the door and making her way to her car when Laura rushed out after her, "Wait Carm, what are you going to do?"

Carmilla didn't really know. She just knew she had to do something.  She had finally found the missing piece, and now that she had it, there had to be a way to use it to fix everything. 

Laura caught up to her just as she was about to open her car door and took hold of her wrist, “Carm, what’s our plan?”

Carmilla pulled her wrist from Laura’s grip and nearly growled as she reached up, running both bands through her hair and gripping near the roots. “You mean _my_ plan?”

“No I mean _our_ plan.” Laura replied firmly, stepping into Carmilla’s space. “If its your plan then its my plan too. I just need to know what it is. Theft, bomb threats, breaking and entering, murder. They aren't usually on my list of things i’m ok with but i’m with you and if you think its necessary then i’ll get on board. I just need to know.”

Carmilla was taken back by the sincerity in Laura’s voice, even though she knew even if any of those things were part of her plan, theres no way Laura would _really_ be on board. _Murder? Really?_

“He’s getting away with it, Laura.” She dropped her hands to her sides and leaned back against the car in defeat. “But i don't think we need to go as far as murder.”

“Oh good.” Laura sighed out, relieved, “Cause I know I said I’d get on board but that was more for dramatic effect because I’m really bad a breaking the small rules, let alone the big ones."

Carmilla chuckled but still looked just as distraught.

“Ok, get in.” Laura started walking around the car, a look of determination on her face.

Carmilla watched until she opened the passenger side door and climbed in before she got in the car herself. “You have a plan or are we going back to barging in without one?”

“I’ll think of something before we get there.” Laura's eyes narrowed, the wheels turning in her head. Voldemort, Vender, Vordenberg, whoever he was, it didn't matter. They were so close to getting answers and she wasn't about to stop now.

As they pulled out of the parking lot Laura’s phone started to ring in her bag. She fished it out and looked to see who was calling before answering and putting it to her ear.

“Hey Danny, whats up?”

Laura heard Danny sigh into the speaker before she spoke.

“They want me to fire Kirsch.”

_Seriously? What next?_

 

— 

"No, it's ok. Just don't do anything yet. I'll call you as soon as I can." Laura hung up the phone with a sigh. 

"Can we go now, Sundance?" Carmilla drummed her finger on the steering wheel impatiently. They had been sitting in the parking lot longer than Carmilla wanted to already. 

"Let me just.." Laura typed out a text on her phone quickly before shoving it in her pocket and reaching for the handle. "Ok, let's go."

They hopped out of the car and made their way towards the building. Laura was walking a few steps ahead of Carmilla and was turning her head side to side quickly like she was expecting someone to jump out of the bushes. 

She paused in front of the door and looked around dramatically before opening it just a crack and sliding in. 

"Oh my god." Carmilla groaned as she rolled her eyes and pulled the door open wide for herself, "This isn't 007." 

Laura turned around quickly and pulled a finger to her lips, "Shh!"

Carmilla rolled her eyes again. If it was possible to reach a quota for that particular action, she would have met it ages ago.  

They were almost to the elevator when a security guard came walking around the corner. Without thinking Laura practically tackled Carmilla, wrapping her arms around her and shoving her behind a decorative plant trying to hide. The guard looked at them with an amused expression but just kept walking past them.

“Are we done playing this game now?” Carmilla mumbled as she blew a plastic leaf away from her face.

Laura let go of Carmilla and smiled sheepishly before following her over to the elevator.

They decided they needed to talk to Mattie. After the look she gave Carmilla at Laura’s office, they knew something was up and hopefully Mattie would tell them what exactly it was. After that, they weren't exactly sure what their plan was. But at least it wasn't murder. _Yet._

They got to the 7th floor fairly quickly and Laura checked her phone before pulling Carmilla out in to the hall. She was leading the way, just as determined as she was before, but she had stopped humming her own theme music and acting like a spy after practically shoving Carmilla into a plastic tree. _Not her finest moment_.

Laura heard Mattie’s voice and quickened her pace, Carmilla right behind her. Then they heard Vordenberg. They were getting closer and no doubt about to turn the corner and Laura decided to panic again. _What would Veronica Mars do?!_   Vordenberg seeing them would no doubt get them kicked out of the building like last time they were there, and that would ruin everything. Or at least ruin step one of their very poorly thought out plan.

Carmilla collided in to Laura’s back as she stopped abruptly and looked around the hallway frantically. The voices were getting closer and there was no where to hide— Until she saw it. _The utility closet_. Laura grabbed Carmilla’s hand and pulled her to the door, shoving her inside and shutting the door quickly, yet quietly behind them.

“What the hell, Laur—“ Carmilla’s complaints were cut short as Laura’s hand flew up to cup over her mouth to quiet her.

_Ok, probably not what Veronica Mars would do, but it would have to do for now._

Carmilla glared at her but didn't protest her obvious plea for her to be quiet. Laura had pinned Carmilla’s back against the door, but on both sides of the door was cloudy glass windows. Offering a small amount of light into the closet without actually being see through from either side. As long as they keep the light off in the closet, and stayed behind the door, they shouldn't be seen by anyone passing by.

The mixture of the dark, Laura's hand over her mouth and being pinned to the door shot a wave of anxiety through Carmilla.  She tried to gently push Laura away from her, feeling the panic rise in her chest but Laura was dead set on staying silent and trying to hear the pair in the hallway.  She didn't budge. 

Carmilla’s breathing picked up, her lungs feeling empty to matter how big a breath she took. She reached up and grabbed Laura's wrist tightly, looking directly in her eyes while she used more force than the last time to put some space between them. 

She glanced around them quickly trying to figure out where the hell Laura had pulled her, hoping it would help calm the anxiety filling her body. There were some shelves that reached the ceiling on the wall opposite of them, filled with toilet paper, tissue boxes, paper towels and a number of cleaning supplies. A broom and mop leaned in the corner and a vacuum was shoved far back in to the closet as well. There were a bunch of other random items filling the closet around them, but it still felt too crowded. _This wasn't helping_.

Laura finally noticed what was going on, her hand pulling back and her eyes going wide. Sure she wanted to find answers, but not if it meant Carmilla having a panic attack in a utility closet. She looked down at the door handle and back at Carmilla who  was leaning back against the door still, head tilted up with her eyes closed. 

"Carm we can go-" Laura started in a whisper.

"No it's fine" Carmilla spit back quietly, "I just--" she took a deep breath, "need a distraction.”

Laura looked around the dark closet starting to feel slightly panicked as well. She knew Carmilla was trying to just deal with her anxiety for Laura's sake. Carmilla always seemed so willing to put Laura first, no matter what that meant for her.

"Why haven't you kissed me?"

Carmilla’s eyes opened quick as she looked at Laura. _Not the distraction she was expecting but it seemed to be working anyway._

"What are you talking about?"

Laura wasn't sure where that had come from but it seemed to be helping, so she just let herself ramble. "Last time we were here you kissed me in the elevator and it was, well- wow." She let out a breathy chuckle, "but it happened so fast and since then, nothing. We've been sleeping in the same bed and been getting along and I just thought- well I don't know what I thought, but you haven't kissed me since then and I just was wondering why?"

"Seriously?" Carmilla looked at her blankly, "we've been alone all weekend in our apartment and now that we are stuck in a closet playing spy, you choose to have this conversation?"

The voices of Mattie and Vordenberg had continued to get louder, and closer, Laura assumed not actually being able to see them. But Carmilla’s commentary must have been louder than she realized because it seemed the voices stopped just outside the door. 

Laura's hand reached back up and clasped over Carmilla’s mouth, once again silencing her. They sat there holding their breath, hoping they hadn't given away their hiding spot, until the voices in the hallway started up again. They were muffled and there was no way the pair on the closet would understand them so Laura dropped her hand with a quiet sigh. 

For whatever reason the voices weren't moving. It's like they had decided right there on the other side of the door was the perfect spot to carry out their conversation. It annoyed Laura to no end. She was ready to get the show on the road- start finding some answers! Standing in a dark closet was the opposite of that. 

Carmilla looked the girl standing in front of her over carefully. Why _hadn't_ she kissed her? Why were they stuck in this in-between place with one another? Deciding maybe it was time to stop being nervous about what might happen, Carmilla made a move.

Laura was still focused on Vordenberg and Mattie speaking out in the hallway, her head turned so her ear faced the door, eyes squinting like somehow it would help her hearing, that she didn't even notice the hand that reached up and brushed her hair back behind her shoulder.

Carmilla hooked a finger into the belt loop of Laura’s pants and slowly pulled her back towards her. Laura stumbled forward, still straining to hear the conversation on the other side of the door. _Oblivious. The girl was utterly oblivious sometimes._

Carmilla smirked, realizing she was being ignored and decided to step it up a notch. She took hold of Laura’s hips gently and started to turn them around, switching their positions against the door. Laura finally looked at Carmilla at the feel of her being moved from her spot. She look at her confused and shook her head as if to ask ‘what are you doing?’

Carmilla winked and brought a finger to her lips. “Shhh..” she whispered just as she pressed Laura back against the door.

Laura gulped audibly, finally seeing the look in Carmilla’s eyes. She suddenly didn't care what was happening in the hallway. _At all._ She pressed her lips together tightly, knowing she still had to be silent, but watched Carmilla closely trying to figure out what exactly she was going to do next.

Carmilla stepped forward, pressing her body against Laura’s, pushing her tightly but silently against the door. Their chests firmly together, Carmilla started to lean in. Laura’s heart immediately sped up and her mouth dropped open slightly at the sight. _She had asked for this, hadn't she?_ Her eyes fluttered shut and she took in a quick breath in anticipation for the kiss. She couldn't tell if she was relieved or disappointed when she felt Carmilla’s lips gently latch onto her ear lobe instead of her mouth, her teeth holding firmly as she pulled back slightly.

“Carm..” Laura breathed out shakily. _This definitely wasn't part of their plan._

“Shhh..” Carmilla whispered again directly into her ear. The warm breath she felt on her neck caused her own breath to hitch. Immediately her whole body start to buzz. She wasn't sure if the talking in the hall had stopped or if she simply stopped listening. All she knew was that the sound of Carmilla breathing was consuming her entirely.

Carmilla pressed her hips tightly against Laura’s, causing the brunette to let out a pleased hum. Carmilla smiled against her neck at the sound and slowly rolled her hips forward. Her hands were holding to Laura’s waist and slowly slid down and around behind her, grabbing firmly onto her ass to pull her hips tightly against her own as she rolled them again slowly.

Laura let out a heavy breath, breathing in another one quickly, her body reacting exactly the way Carmilla had hoped it would. Her hands came up to grip onto Carmilla shoulders as she leaned her head back against the door and shut her eyes. Seeing the opportunity for easy access to her neck, Carmilla took advantage and connected her lips just under Laura’s ear. Leaving one warm kiss followed by another, and another as she slowly moved her way down to Laura’s collar bone.

She let her teeth scrape against the skin at the bottom of Laura’s throat before moving back to her pulse point. She could tell just by placing her lips over it that Laura’s pulse was racing.

“Is this what you wanted?” She whispered, her lips brushing against Laura’s skin before latching on and sucking just hard enough to know it would leave a light mark.

Laura’s grip tightened on her shoulders as she nodded slowly as to not disturb Carmilla’s placement, letting out a quiet moan at the feel of Carmilla sucking on her neck. She gasped quietly as the sucking was now being accompanied by a thigh between her own legs, pressing up against her core.

“Should we really—“ She was breathing heavy and trying to whisper as she lowered her head, trying to look at Carmilla.

Carmilla removed her lips from Laura’s neck reluctantly and turned to look at her at the same time that she rolled her hips and pressed her leg into Laura again, squeezing her ass at the same time. She couldn't help but smile at the sight of Laura’s pupils blown wide and the obvious struggle she was having staying quiet while still breathing.

An instant heat filled the pit of Laura’s stomach and whatever thoughts she had about this ‘not being the time or place’ vanished completely. _This was very much the best time and perfect place for what was happening._ She knew she had missed being physically close to Carmilla, but the way her body was reacting made her realize just how much she had missed it. Her hands were still gripping her shoulders but she felt like if she let go they would just tremble, so she held on tighter. Her knees felt weak but as long as she was pinned between the door and Carmilla she could stay standing. Her chest was heaving with quick breaths as her heart pumped rapidly, skipping beats with every new touch from Carmilla. Her head felt hazy, like she was drunk, but at the same time she was so completely aware of everything happening.

The sound of Carmilla breathing, almost as heavy as herself. The fluid motion of her hips rolling against her, the slight lift of the leg between her thighs that pressed into her with every roll. Her hands holding tightly on her ass, pulling her against her body tightly. Carmilla’s chest pressed against her own, the lift and fall with every quick breath. Lips traveling down her neck, slight dragging of teeth sending shivers though her body. Laura knew she should probably be embarrassed with how quickly and easily Carmilla had been able to turn her on just now, but she just didn't have it in her to care.

Laura stopped letting Carmilla simply lead her hips and started to roll them against Carmilla on her own, picking up a quicker rhythm, her body growing hotter with each small moment of friction. Their heads leaned together, hot breath on necks, the sound of breathing echoing in each other ears.

Carmilla gave her ass another firm squeeze before dragging her hands upwards onto her back. She let her fingers find the hem of her shirt and slip underneath it smoothly, her finger tips brushing bare skin.

“Mmm” Laura hummed quietly in approval, rolling her hips forward harder. She let her hands drag down from Carmilla shoulder slowly, her palms pressing to the side of her breasts, down her ribs, ending on her hips.

Carmilla’s fingers slid across Laura’s skin, up her back, tucking under the fabric of her bra crossing her back before she let her nails press into her skin and drag down slowly. Her skin pebbled in the wake of Carmilla’s fingers and her body trembled without her permission.

Just the sound of Laura’s heavily breathing was enough to turn Carmilla on. Knowing that just by touching her she had caused that reaction was intoxicating. She wanted to touch every part of Laura before she was finished. She lowered her head and bit Laura’s shoulder gently as she dragged her hands across her back.

Laura had tried to turn her head a few times to catch Carmilla’s lips against her own, but each time she tired Carmilla moved away just in time, latching her lips onto another part of exposed skin. Not that Laura was complaining, _mostly because she couldn't string together a coherent sentence to do so_ , but this had all started on the topic of a kiss. _A kiss that had yet to happen_ , despite the grinding that had been increasingly raising her heart rate at an alarming pace.

Laura was lost in the feeling of Carmilla’s fingers dragging down her back and her teeth sinking into her shoulder when she felt the absence of the leg that had been pressing between her thighs. She opened her eyes and looked pleadingly at the girl now smirking at her. Carmilla returned the look, her eyes were dark and full of lust and it only made Laura wish for the friction between her legs to return even more.

A hand traveled from Laura’s back, still pressed against skin beneath her shirt, around to the front of her body. Carmilla moved her body back just enough that she could slide her hand up Laura’s stomach, stopping to knead her breast through her bra for a second before continuing its movements upwards. Laura arched her back into the touch, biting her lip and trying to remind herself to stay silent.

As Carmilla’s hand moved upwards, it pulled Laura’s shirt with it, slowly exposing more of her torso the further up it traveled. Her fingers pressed flat to Laura’s chest as they slipped up through the neck of her shirt and traced along her collar bone before moving back down, pressing against her hip bone, pinning her against the door tightly.

The hand that had been on her back slowly moved around front, and the tips of her fingers slipped just below the waistline of her pants. There was a sharp intake of breath and Laura’s own hands tightened on Carmilla’s waist. She had been so lost in the sound of her breathing and the feel of her fingertips traveling across skin, she hadn't even registered she hadn't been doing anything other than standing there motionless.

The absence of the leg between Laura’s thighs made sense as soon as Carmilla’s hand made quick work of the button and zipper on her pants and plunged below the waistline of her pants and underwear.

Laura moaned at the feel of Carmilla’s hand between her legs at the same time Carmilla let one of her own escape at the wet heat that immediately covered her fingers as she ran them along Laura’s folds.

Carmilla’s free hand reached up to cover Laura’s mouth quickly. She pressed her own lips against the back of her hand, “Shhh, we don’t want to be discovered yet, do we?” Her voice was low, a raspy whisper that only served to add to the heat already in Laura’s stomach.

Laura practically whimpered into the palm of Carmilla’s hand covering her mouth as the movements of her other hand continued during the instruction to stay quiet. Before she could even think about it, Laura gripped Carmilla’s waist and pulled it into her, trapping her hand between them. Carmilla’s palm pressed firmly against Laura’s clit, sending a shock of pleasure through her, her whole body heating up in response.

Suddenly the movements were no longer slow and controlled. It seemed that one moment of contact lit something in them both that couldn't be held back anymore. Carmilla teased at Laura’s clit with her fingers as her mouth went to work on her neck, leaving wet kisses along the length of it. Her hand dropped from her mouth and palmed her breast over her shirt.

One of Laura’s hands came up, fingers tangling in Carmilla’s hair and holding her tightly to her neck. The other hand moved around and slipped into Carmilla’s back pocket, gripping and tugging her against her with every roll of her hips. She couldn't help the rhythmic thrusts of her own hips against Carmilla’s hand as her fingers circled delicately between her legs. She wanted more, _she needed it_.

She breathed heavily in Carmilla’s ear, fingers still tangled in hair, legs becoming increasingly unstable as their movements continued. “Carm..” it was a breathless whisper, begging her to give her everything they had been holding back from each other.

Carmilla pulled away from Laura’s neck and looked at her, their faces inches away. She wanted to see her eyes. Laura tried once again to lean in and connect their lips but Carmilla pulled back slightly and shook her head. Laura’s face was a mixture of pleasure and slight confusion and Carmilla just smiled at her. She was beautiful like this, chest heaving, labored breathing, pupils blown and cheeks flushed. Carmilla couldn't look away, she didn't want to. Especially with what she was about to do.

Laura gasped and her eyes fluttered shut, head falling back against the door as Carmilla thrust her fingers inside her. She felt her legs start to tremble harder, something Carmilla must have noticed because an arm wrapped around her waist, holding her up and pulling her tight against her at the same time. Laura’s grip on dark curls tightened with every thrust, her eyes shutting tight as she felt the fire low in her stomach building rapidly with every movement.

Carmilla watched Laura’s face with every thrust of her hand. Her eyebrows pushing together tightly, her bottom lip wedged between her teeth in an effort to stifle the moans threatening to escape her throat. She was panting, her hand tight in her hair while the other moved frantically against her back, shoulder, chest, trying to anchor herself to Carmilla. Her hips bucked in rhythm with Carmilla’s hand trying to add to the friction already happening between her legs.

Carmilla let the hand that was wrapped around Laura's back reach under her shirt quickly and up to unclasp her bra. She knew they were still technically in a public place, so removing clothing entirely wasn't the smartest choice, (Otherwise lets be real, clothing wouldn't be a thing at this point) but she still wanted more of Laura.

Laura dropped her head forward, letting her forehead rest on Carmilla’s shoulder as she continued to thrust her hips onto the hand fucking her. The hand tangled in Carmillas hair gripped tightly and tilted her head to the side, opening up her neck for Laura to access it with her mouth. She tried to leave kisses on the exposed skin but found it hard to maintain contact and follow through with each kiss between panting and feeling like she was about to fall over the edge. She let out a low moan into Carmilla’s neck and pressed her palm into her breast.

Carmilla arched her back into the touch but slowly pulled her hand out of Laura’s pants. Laura's head pulled back abruptly a look of sheer disappointment on her face. Carmilla raised an eyebrow, trying to remain serious, and brought her finger up to her mouth to lick the remnants of Laura from it. “We have to stop if you cant stay quiet.”

Laura licked her lips subconsciously while she watched Carmilla lick her finger clean, swallowing hard at the sight. She reached up to grip Carmilla’s wrist and started to push it back down, leading it back to where it had just come from.

“I’ll be quiet.” She pleaded, still breathing heavily, eyes locked on Carmilla’s lips, “I promise.”

Laura had to once again force herself to silence the sound that was building in her throat when she saw Carmilla’s lips quirk up into a smile. It was the most sexy thing she had ever seen. Carmilla licked her own lips as she let Laura push her hand back down beneath the waistline of her pants. She was even more wet than she was a second ago, if it was possible, and this time Carmilla was the one to moan as she slid her fingers across her wet folds once again.

Carmilla plunged her hand in further, immediately thrusting her fingers back into Laura with careful force. Her body pressed against Laura’s to gain the right leverage to push her fingers in at the perfect angle that she knew drove Laura crazy.

“Fuck” Laura gasped before throwing her own hand over her mouth to silence herself. She was never very quiet to begin with, and this was really testing her abilities.

Carmilla hand slid up the font of her shirt and underneath the loose fabric of Laura’s bra. Since she had unclasped it, it made access to her breasts easier, something they were _both_ grateful for. Her hand kneaded into Laura’s breast in time with the thrusts the was making with her other hand, before rolling her erect nipple between her fingers.

Laura arched into her, grinding her hips harshly onto Carmilla’s hand and pressing her body tighter against her. She was panting in Carmilla’s ear, her own hands desperate to touch her skin, gripped tightly to her pants and undid the button. Laura's hands slid smoothly under the fabric gripping Carmilla's ass and pulling her tight against her, quickening the movement of her hips against Carmilla’s hand.

“Don’t stop..” Laura breathed out shakily. She found Carmilla’s jaw and started leaving messy kisses along it, leading to her ear. She took the end of Carmilla’s earlobe between her teeth and sucked gently. The pull in Laura’s stomach was building rapidly as Carmilla’s thrust her fingers quicker while using her palm to apply pressure to her clit. She knew she was almost there and it was almost overwhelming. Laura started moving her hips frantically as she was about to come undone, her breathing getting erratic as Carmilla picked up the pace.

Carmilla could tell she was just about there and used the combination of her fingers thrusting inside of her as well as her thumb to press circles against her clit, hungry to see the girl she had pressed against the door come undone in her arms. She felt Laura tightening around her fingers as she inhaled a sharp breath and moved her hands to clutch onto her waist tightly.

Carmilla pulled her hand from under Lauras shirt where it had been working her nipple and wrapped it around her back to stable her as she thrust a few more times, curling her fingers inside her, sending her over the edge. She moved her head back so she could watch Laura be overtaken by pleasure as she felt her spasm around her, a near silent whimper escape her lips as her mouth hung open and her head fell backwards.

Laura finally let out the breath she had been holding, her body slowly relaxing. Carmilla slowed her movements as Laura came down from her orgasm before slipping her hand out from between her legs.

“Oh my god.” Laura breathed out heavily, her head resting back against the door. Her legs were trembling and she was sure if Carmilla let go of her she would no longer be standing.

Carmilla leaned forward and placed a few kissed along her exposed neck, “you ok?”

Laura gave a breathy laugh, tilting her head to one side, “I’m fantastic.”

“Good.” Carmilla whispered in her ear, “Cause I think the coast has been clear for a while.”

“What?” Laura dropped her head to look at Carmilla, still a little dazed from the high her entire body had just experienced.

Carmilla ginned smugly, “We are still in a closet, cupcake.”

“oh my god.” This time Laura sounded more embarrassed than when she had said those exact words just a second ago.

“Do you think they heard..?” She looks slightly mortified as she pouted at Carmilla’s smug smile.

“I’m pretty sure they walked away a while ago.” Carmilla stepped back, reaching down to button her pants back up.

Laura stumbled slightly at the loss of Carmilla’s arms steadying her but forced herself to stand upright, still leaning against the door. “Oh. Ok, good” She replied sheepishly as she reached down to fix her own clothing.

Carmilla watched her button her pants then refasten her bra with a grin on her face. Laura bit her bottom lip when she noticed her eyes lingering on her. _This was definitely not part of their original plan._

Carmilla’s phone chimed and she pulled it out to check the screen just as it chimed again.

“You know..” Laura started, keeping her eyes on Carmilla while she spoke quietly, “You still haven't kissed me. Not really.”

Carmilla smiled at Laura’s comment before looking down at her phone and typing out a quick response, “I know.”

Laura looked at her slightly surprised at her response, watching her type out a text then shove the phone back in her pocket. Carmilla stepped forward into Laura’s space, her eyes locked on her lips. Laura gave her a small smile, the thought that she was finally going to kiss her filling her stomach with butterflies. How Carmilla could give her the feeling of complete ecstasy one minute and then make her feel like a school girl with a crush the next was astounding.

Carmilla stopped just inches away from Laura’s lips and smiled playfully while she whispered, “Maybe I’ve been waiting for _you_ to kiss _me_.”

Laura stumbled a bit as the door behind her opened suddenly and Carmilla walked back into the hall casually. Her mouth hung agape as she stood there in the closet alone, thinking about Carmilla’s words. She was quickly pulled from her thoughts as she heard a familiar voice approaching them.

“God, you’re predictable. Its embarrassing.” Mattie rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest.

Carmilla smirked over her shoulder at Laura before turning to Mattie, “You’re the one still taking orders from the dinosaur that never shuts up, and I’m embarrassing?”

Mattie glared at Carmilla and dropped her arms, “If you’re finished..?” she glanced between her and Laura knowingly before raising her eyebrows expectantly.

Carmilla winked at Laura, “Oh we finished.”

Laura’s mouth dropped open wide, her eyes doing the same. Carmilla was much too pleased with herself, but at least Laura had the decency to seem slightly embarrassed at Mattie clearly knowing what had just happened in the closet.

“Well come on then. We need to talk.” Mattie turned around not bothering to check to see if she was being followed.

Laura stumbled from the closet, adjusting her clothing and following the other two down the hallway.

As far as what they had planned originally, that was definitely not part of it. But hey, it was _way_ better than murder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: yoitsmeecass (in case you want to come say hey)


	21. Impossible Choices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They try and figure out what to do next..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a song.. I Dont Know If I should Stay - Alexz Johnson (its linked where it plays)
> 
> I know this one id kind of short. life has been crazy and i wanted to update before my trip.
> 
> Also, I'm literally minutes away from boarding a 13 hour flight to New Zealand where i'll be exploring for the next 2 weeks. So unless i can pump out a chapter at a coffee house or laundromat when we stop for laundry it may be a little while before i can update. but leave comments and don't give up on me!

“What’s his plan, then?” Laura crossed the conference room, stopping near where Mattie was leaning on the table.

“I don’t know.” Mattie said flatly.

“How do you not know? You’re working with him.” Laura extended her arms frustratedly.

“Just tell her, Mattie.” Carmilla sighed, leaning against the table.

Mattie just shrugged, “I really don’t know. Beyond my job of making them look good to the public, I haven't been told anything. It would have been a damn sight easier if someone hadn’t made him the Chair of Morgan Industries in the first place.”

Mattie looked pointedly at Laura who seemed slightly embarrassed at the comment.

“So what other option do we have? I already petitioned the board to fast track the ownership of mine and Will’s share of the company but I don’t know how long that’ll take to be finalized.” Carmilla was in business mode, her brain reeling to figure out what the next step would be to gaining control of the situation.

“Well I have an idea, but you and I would be risking a lot.” Mattie was completely in sync with Carmilla. It was just like it had been back in New York. The pair were unstoppable back then, and she was thrilled at where this was headed. Maybe finally then Carmilla would realize she was better off in New York with her.

“Well, what is it?” Laura asked slowly. She could tell she wasn't exactly part of the conversation happening between the other two women, but more so observing it.

“Not your concern, little girl.” Mattie’s tone was condescending, matched with a forced smile.

“Of course its my concern. I’m supposed to trust you? Last time I checked you’ve threatened me and my friends jobs, and who knows what other nefarious things you’ve been up to since you’ve been here.” Laura spat back. She was sick of being talked down to just because she wasn't on board with their rule breaking plans.

Mattie scoffed, “Do you think you’re a player in this? You’re the grass on the field. The leaves on the trees. You’re mayflies. Don’t think for one second that you aren't expendable. Are we clear?” She glared at Laura before turning to Carmilla who was watching them carefully, “Can we speak- Privately?”

Carmilla nodded before Mattie pushed herself off the table and walked to the far side of the room away from Laura. Carmilla sighed and tried to give Laura a reassuring look but was just met with a frown as Laura dropped down into one of the seats, arms crossed over her chest.

——

“Thats what you two came up with? We cant do that. We cant just ruin him completely.” Laura groaned, stepping further around the table.

Carmilla and Mattie had been talking in hushed tones on the other side of the room for 20 minutes now, and she had hoped they were coming up with something that might actually work, and be legal. _No such luck._

“Oh no? And exactly why does Vordenberg get a pass?” Mattie rolled her eyes and shifted on her feet impatiently. “We have just as much evidence against him as you had against Carmilla’s mother.”

“Yeah well, I didn't ruin her either, not really.” Laura’s eyes dropped to the floor then back up at Mattie. She was trying to hold her confidence but if she was being honest, it was fading fast. Had she ruined Carmilla’s mother? Sure she wrote the article, but she did so with the facts she was provided. It wasn't her fault everything pointed to her being guilty. In fact, besides the joint signature they now knew belonged to Vordenberg, everything still pointed to Lilita.

Mattie shook her head, “You’re a spoiled little girl. Oooh, lets be idealistic. Pretend the world is perfect, and that everything is split into right and wrong.” She clasped her hands together mockingly, using a sweet sing song voice.

Carmilla sighed and shook her head, looking between the two. When she agreed to work with Laura, she didn't know this is how it was going to go. It was like things were going back to how they started. Mattie and Laura pitted against each other and her stuck in the middle.

Laura kept hey eyes on Mattie, frustration filling her body at the mocking tone Mattie was using, clearly trying to get under her skin. She knew there had been mistakes made, but she was still sure she had been doing what she felt was right.

Mattie narrowed her eyes at Laura, “You know what the world is? Its a fight to the death. Either you have the power, or you serve the power. If you can't see the blur in colors, you might as well be blind to it all.”

“I’m not giving up.” Laura bit back, “We don’t have to destroy someone in order to find the truth. We can still do the right thing.”

“Do you think you’re special?” Mattie scoffed, stepping towards Laura, “That you’re the first girl to think they could change the way this world works? The truth shall set you free, do right and all will be right, and all that nonsense.”

“Mattie, thats enough.” Carmilla spoke quietly finally stepping forward between the two. She knew where this was going and it wouldn't end well.

Mattie ignored her completely, stepping towards Laura again, “The only reason you and your friends haven't been fired or worse yet, is because Carmilla decided to save you. What do you think happens when she decides she doesn't care anymore?”

Laura glanced at Carmilla, noticing her eyes cast towards the ground, the attitude she held earlier in the closet completely gone. This was someone else entirely in front of her now. She knew Carmilla had stuck up for her friends before, but she didn't realize quite what that meant until now. She had basically gotten her sister to back track a decision she had made just because she knew it meant something to Laura. She hadn't even considered her own job at the paper had been at stake, but after thinking about it, the company probably did have the power to lean on her editor until he fired her. Mattie’s smug comment implied she was ready to do just that if it weren't for Carmilla stopping her.

Laura’s confidence lessened a bit as she glanced from Carmilla’s face to the floor, “Thats her decision to make.”

And there it was. Carmilla was being put in the middle again. She could almost guess what Mattie’s next words would be.

“Thats right, darling. You have a choice to make.” Mattie finally looked over at Carmilla, raising an eyebrow at her while crossing her arms over her chest.

Carmilla sighed and looked up to look between the two. This was a familiar situation that she was tired of being in. How could they both expect her to choose between them? How was that fair? They both were right. Vordenberg deserved to go down for what he was doing— but there was justice, and there was revenge. As much as Carmilla wanted to feed the old man his own spleen, she knew there was a line she couldn't cross. If she did, she wouldn't be able to come back from it. It would change her, and she wasn't sure she was ready for that.

Carmilla looked at Laura, her eyes were pleading yet somehow understanding. Like suddenly she realized there was more than black and white and Carmilla often lived in grey. As much as Laura wanted her to choose her side, she knew she couldn't simply expect it of her.

Mattie looked determined. She hated this situation just as much as Carmilla did and was more involved than Laura. She was stuck in the middle of it, just like Carmilla was. It affected her job, her life, her family, and if there’s one thing Carmilla knew about Mattie, its that she is not someone you want to threaten or mess with. And this situation was doing just that. Theres no telling how far Mattie would be willing to go to get the outcome she wanted from all this.

Carmilla turned to Laura and shrugged, “She does have a point. Its not like he's playing by the rules.”

Laura just bit her bottom lip but didn't say anything. She wasn't go to argue or agree and Carmilla knew that. She was letting Carmilla make her own choice.

“Mattie- I cant.” Carmilla started, she looked at the ceiling and let out a sigh. She was trying not to pick a side, but knew this simple statement was making it clear who she was siding with anyway.

“Of course.” Mattie shook her head and frowned. “Don’t get in the way then. I’d hate for you to be collateral damage.” She turned and stormed out of the office leaving Laura and Carmilla there in silence.

Laura looked around the empty room and sighed, “What is she even going to do?”

Carmilla shrugged, “Whatever she has to, I guess.”

“Well, should we be worried?” Laura's eyebrows knit together, she was slowly realizing they had basically let loose a wild animal hell bent on destroying Vordenberg at any cost.

“I honestly don’t know.” Carmilla shook her head and pulled out a chair to sit down in. She rested her elbows on the table and dropped her head into her hands. She was exhausted and wasn't sure she was going to be able to survive this without losing everything and everyone she loved in the process.

Laura started pacing the office, her hands firm on her hips, then running through her hair harshly. _Step one: Talk to Mattie._ That had basically failed completely. _Step two: She hadn't thought quite that far ahead_.

“Come on, we aren't finished.” Laura turned to face Carmilla, trying to act like she had a plan. Maybe she could fake it till she made it, right?

“What do you mean?” Carmilla groaned, not moving from her slouched position at the table.

“Get up.” Her voice was more firm than she expected, but seemed to work none the less.

Carmilla turned to look at her, and eyebrow raised.

“We need to find Voldemorts office.” Laura smiled and raised her eyebrows mischievously.

“Seriously?” Carmilla chuckled. As much as she hated this situation, she had to admit it was kind of incredible seeing Laura refuse to give up.

Laura reached forward and grabbed Carmilla's wrist, pulling her from the chair and dragging her out into the hallway to find Vordenberg's office.

——

“Ok, this isn't exactly what I had in mind.” Laura spoke over her shoulder nervously while she stared at the wall.

“Miss Karnstein I’m not entirely sure I should be doing this.” JP was sitting at Vordenberg’s desk typing on the keyboard, “Technically you are no longer our legal council and aren't automatically given access to this information.”

“Just finish what you’re doing Encyclopedia Brown then you can leave and forget this ever happened.” Carmilla was leaning over his shoulder staring at the computer screen. “Plus, I technically still own part of the company until the judge signs off on the transfer of shares to my mother, and then i’ll be legal council again. No harm no foul.”

“I’m note sure that—“ JP looked more concerned the longer he was sitting there.

“Just type.” Carmilla cut him off impatiently.

“Ok, but can I just ask..” He nodded towards Laura who was standing behind the door, staring at the wall with her fingers in her ears.

Carmilla shook her head, “Plausible deniability. And if she doesn't know what we are doing, she cant argue with me about it.”

“Got it.” JP hit a few more keys then groaned.

“Cant you do this any faster?” Carmilla huffed impatiently.

“It isn't an exact science. And its not like in the movies where the villain makes its easy and has ‘password’ as their password.” JP started typing quickly again.

Carmilla’s phone started to buzz and she stepped back quickly, pulling it from her pocket, “Shit.”

“What?!” Laura spun around, a worried expression on her face.

“I forgot I have a meeting.” Carmilla groaned and shot off a reply to her text.

“Seriously?” Laura’s eyes went wide as she looked at JP then back to Carmilla, “You cant leave now.” She whispered harshly.

It was becoming clear to Carmilla that Laura really wasn't the ‘stealthy break the rules’ kind of person. How she continued to be an investigative journalist by doing everything by the book was pretty impressive.

“I have to go and I don’t know how long its going to take before he gets into the computer.” Carmilla threw her arms out. They had already been in the office longer than she wanted, and getting caught would not be a good thing. For any of them.

“I’m in!” JP exclaimed excitedly, throwing his hands in the air in victory.

“Shh!” both Carmilla and Laura turned their heads quickly towards him, shushing him harshly.

Jp lowered his arms and covered his mouth, his shoulders rolling forward realizing his mistake in being so loud. He gave them an apologetic look before speaking up in a whisper, “Access to all the files, emails, and any correspondence done through this computer is now available.”

Carmilla pulled the chair out and pushed it out of the way with JP still in it, “You are a genius.” She leaned over and stuck a USB drive in the computer and started copying the files over.

JP stood up and walked over to the door, he placed a hand on Laura’s shoulder and smiled at her before slipping out of the office.

“Can we go yet?” Laura asked, still staring at the wall, “I know I said we needed to get more evidence but I don’t know if this is the best way to go about it.”

Carmilla finished copying things onto her flash drive, shut the computer down and walked over to Laura. She grabbed her wrist, pulling her hand away from her face where she had been trying to hide from the situation (the whole, ‘they cant see me if i cant see them’ tactic she was using to feel better about what was happening). Carmilla let her hand slide from her wrist down to her hand, interlocking their fingers and giving her hand a squeeze.

“Let’s go.” She smiled as she pulled Laura from the office.

Laura may not have agreed to Mattie’s plan, but she did agree they needed more evidence to try and figure out what was really going on. How Carmilla’s mother was involved, and how Vordenberg played into it and why. Even though she was reluctant to agree to the methods, there wasn't anything technically illegal about what Carmilla did, and hopefully they would walk away with the information they needed.

Standing in the elevator Carmilla pulled her phone out of her pocket again and typed out a text. She really had to make this meeting but she wasn't sure she wanted Laura to be there, but she couldn't just abandon her. She was trying to decide what to do when the elevator stopped the 3rd floor, the doors opening slowly to reveal Danny standing there.

“Xena?” Carmilla asked slightly surprised.

Danny rolled her eyes and stepped into the elevator with the two girls.

“What are you doing here?” Laura asked, looking around the hallway to see if anyone else was there.

Danny ran her hand through her hair frustratedly, “I had to come meet with my new bosses. When I didn't fire Kirsch right away like they wanted, they decided they needed to express some concerns.” She looked between the Laura and Carmilla, “Please tell me you have a way out of this because firing him would be like kicking a golden retriever.”

The elevator doors opened to the lobby and they all filed out heading for the exit. As soon as they were outside Carmilla turned to Laura, “We can come up with a plan tonight, but I really have to make this meeting first.”

Laura could tell something was up with Carmilla’s reluctancy to say more than that but figured this was just another one of those things that was going to go un talked about. _That list was growing rather long at this point._

“I can take you home?” Danny offered, sensing the tension between them.

Carmilla breathed out heavily, Danny wasn't her favorite person, especially when it came to alone time with Laura but she didn't really have a choice this time.

Laura nodded at Danny then turned to Carmilla, “I’ll see you at home then?”

“Yeah.” Carmilla said quickly before turning around and speed walking to the parking lot where her car was.

——

**6:27 pm**

“Did you know this is where Carmilla was coming when you said you wanted to come her instead of home?” Danny asked as they walked in the bar together.

“What?” Laura looked around quickly trying to spot her girlfriend.

Carmilla was sitting in a booth across from Theo. _A very happy Theo_. Laura had no idea this is where Carmilla’s meeting was, or that it was with him, but it suddenly made more sense why she hadn't been told about it before. Laura kept her eyes on them as she followed Danny over to the bar and sat down. She was glad Carmilla’s back was to her so she wouldn't see her staring as she tried (and failed) to read Theo’s lips.

“Whats that about?” Laura asked when Will walked over to them from behind the bar.

Will just shrugged and glanced over at the pair in the booth. As much as he hated the way Carmilla handled things, it wasn't his place to say anything. He glanced back at the pair, wiping the counter with his rag, “What’ll it be?”

—

“I cant wait to pass on the good news.” Theo smiled wide and downed the rest of his drink, setting the cup back on the table.

“Thanks for being patient. Things have been crazy and I just needed to be sure of my decision before moving forward.” Carmilla sat back in the booth and set her arm up on the back rest lazily.

“I completely understand. I’m just glad it worked out in my favor.” Theo smiled and stood up, grabbing his jacket from the seat next to him. “I’ll have someone send you over some information and paperwork and as soon as thats all taken care of, we can get started.”

Carmilla nodded and let out a deep breath. _This could be huge._ This could be exactly what she wanted. Was she ready for it though?

“Sounds great.” She smiled up at him and gave a small wave as he started walking towards the door.

As she watched him leave she caught a glimpse of Danny’s head above the crowd in the room. She let out a sigh knowing Laura was probably with her, and probably now aware of the meeting Carmilla didn't want her to know about yet. She picked up her drink and stood up, making her way between people to get to the bar. Stepping up next to Laura she set her cup on the bar.

“Hey.” Carmilla spoke loud enough to get Laura’s attention.

Laura turned on her stool towards the raven haired girl, “Hey.” she forced a small smile.

Carmilla twisted her cup on the surface of the bar, watching the liquid inside slosh around, “I was going to head home, did you want to hang with Big Red some more or..?”

“No.” Laura answered quicker than she had meant to, she turned to look at Danny, “I mean, is it cool if I take off with Carm?”

“Yeah sure, just let me know if anything comes up.” Danny smiled and lifted her beer to her lips.

Laura nodded, “Will do. And thanks, for everything.”

Carmilla started to feel annoyed and she wasn't sure why. She knew there was nothing going on between Laura and Danny that she needed to be worried about. But Danny was Laura’s best friend, and while they were getting along perfectly and talking normally, her and Laura were in this weird space and she had no clue what was going on with them. It sucked.

“I’ll be outside.” Carmilla groaned and turned to walk towards the exit.

Laura gave Danny an apologetic smile as she pulled some cash from her bag to pay for her drink. Leaving it on the bar she hopped off her stool and took off after Carmilla, following her out in to the parking lot and over to her car.

They hadn't really been alone since… well, since the closet. So this could be an interesting night.

——

**9:50 pm**

“This guy covered his tracks.” Carmilla huffed and set her lap top down on the couch next to her. She ran her hands through her hair, stopping to grip at the roots as her head fell back against the cushion.

“Yeah, nothing in my half either.” Laura sighed and twisted around on the stool at the counter to look at Carmilla.

They had managed to copy most of the files from Vordenberg’s computer and forwarded a ludicrous amount of emails to Carmilla’s email account to read over later. So far none of the information was good enough to help them get Lilita out of trouble and Vordenberg into it.

Carmilla glanced over at Laura and let her hands drop on her lap, "I guess we get to wait and hope the judge signs off quick so mother can take back control of things before it really gets out of hand."

Laura nodded and just looked at Carmilla across the room. So much had happened that they needed to talk about but it never seemed to be the right time.  Right now it seemed they were stuck in a waiting game- not able to really do anything until Carmilla heard back about sighing over her shares of the company. Laura still wasn't completely on board with that idea either but at this point, it was the only real plan they had. And it was better than the one Mattie had come up with, for sure.

Laura watched Carmilla drop her head back against the cushion again and close her eyes. Slowly she got up and made her way over to the couch, sitting down, one leg tucked underneath her, turning to face Carmilla.  

Carmilla opened her eyes and rolled her head to the side to look at Laura curiously. 

"Netflix break?" Laura asked hopefully. Her brain felt fried. Between the stress and research over Vordenberg and her article, plus replaying what had happened in the closet earlier, trying to dissect that and figure out what it meant- Laura needed a break from thinking.  And watching Netflix mindlessly sounded like the perfect escape. 

"Sure." Carmilla sighed, reaching forward to grab the remote before handing it to the other girl and laying down, her head on Laura's lap. 

Laura flipped through the options and pressed play on a random rom-com movie. Carmilla chuckled at the choice and nuzzled herself into her position on Laura's lap further. Laura smiled and threaded her fingers in Carmilla hair, brushing through it gently. 

20 minutes into the movie Carmilla had gotten a hold of Laura’s hand and had begun yet another thumb war.

“We are missing the movie.” Laura whined, trying to pin Carmilla’s thumb beneath her own. Her tongue stuck out the side of her mouth as her body twisted trying to gain an advantage over the girl that had beat her every game so far.

“What’s there to miss? Its like every other sappy movie you love to make me watch.” Carmilla smirked as she got hold of Laura’s thumb and held it down.

Laura pouted and dropped her hand in defeat, “Well maybe I like sappy.”

Carmilla tilted her head back in Laura’s lap to look up at her face. She gave a heavy sigh before turning on her side to face the tv, snuggling into Lauras thigh further to get more comfortable. Laura smiled and let her hand start brushing through dark curls once more.

Another 30 minutes into the movie Laura noticed Carmilla was sound asleep. Quiet humming would escape her lips every once in a while to the feel of Laura's fingers in her hair, but other than that, she was out. Glancing at the clock she noticed it was just before 11 and she should probably go to bed too. Saying it had been a long day was an understatement, and the week was just beginning.

“Carm.” Laura whispered scratching at Carmilla scalp.

“Hmm?” Carmilla hummed, a smile forming on her lips.

“Lets go to bed.” Laura smiled, moving to rub her hand up and down Carmilla’s arm.

Carmilla reached over and took hold of Laura’s hand, slowly interlocking their fingers, “I don’t want to move.” She grumbled sleepily.

Laura let out a quiet laugh, “Come on, snuggling is much easier in bed.”

Carmilla’s eyes opened and she tilted her head in Laura’s lap to look up at her face. “Oh yeah?” she smirked.

Laura pressed her lips together trying to fight her smile, “mhmm.” she nodded slowly, squeezing Carmilla’s hand that was locked in hers.

Carmilla yawned and reluctantly sat up, letting go of Laura’s hand, she stretched her hands over her head before standing up and following Laura into the bedroom. They got ready for bed quickly and climbed in under the covers together.

_It felt different_. Which made Laura slightly nervous. After what happened earlier that day in the closet, it was like they had finally breached that line of physicality they had been afraid to cross— but it still felt like there was something in the way. It was hot, and incredible and Laura didn't regret it one bit, but _it hadn't changed anything_. It was like this amazing thing happened, a break from reality, then the closet door opened and it was all right back to how it was. She wanted to reach out and let Carmilla hold her, but she didn't know if she could. There was a difference between hot sex and intimacy. And even though it was clear they were still very much able to create the hot sex… intimacy without being on the same page seemed to be difficult at the moment.

Then there was Carmilla’s comment about waiting for her to kiss her. _Was she serious? She was ok with fucking her in a closet, but waiting for Laura to make the move on a kiss?_ Laura figured it tied in with her own worries. Sex versus intimacy. Maybe Carmilla was just as confused about where they were and just got caught up in a moment. So where did that leave them?

Laura was pulled from her thoughts when Carmilla’s hand slid across the mattress and took hold of hers like it had been the last few nights. Laura sighed and let herself relax laying next to Carmilla as her thumb brushed across her fingers in the dark room.

Laura turned her head to look at Carmilla who was looking up at the ceiling, blinking sleepily. “Carm?”

Carmilla turned her head and let the corner of her mouth twist up into a small smile but didn't say anything.

“I was thinking about before.” Laura rolled to her side, facing Carmilla, “About Mattie. And her plan.”

Carmilla sighed, this wasn't exactly her idea of enjoyable bed time talk. Her smile faded but she waited for Laura to continue, shifting onto her side to face her better.

Laura examined the other girls face, trying to decide if she should continue or not. "Would you have done it?” Her voice was in a whisper. As if she wasn't sure she wanted the answer. “Even if it meant losing your license and possibly worse if you got caught?"

Carmilla sighed and brought their hands up between their faces, keeping her eyes on the thumb brushing against the back of Laura's hand. Her voice was soft, a tiredness echoing in it, "I don't know. Would you care?"

Her eyes flickered back up to Laura’s, the light from the window illuminated their faces. Golden flecks danced in Laura's eyes as her eyebrows came together in a hurt expression. 

_Did she not know? Were things messed up enough that Carmilla honestly didn't know just how much she cares?_

"How can you say that?" Laura breathed out. Her chest felt heavy suddenly and her eyes stung like they do before tears appear, "You think I've been staying up all hours, trying to keep you out of trouble and wracking my brain to figure out what's going on because I don't care?"

Carmilla swallowed the lump in her throat, her heart aching with every word. _Laura did care_. She knew that. But somehow her heart still felt broken, even knowing that.

Laura pushed herself up on to an elbow and looked down at Carmilla laying on the pillow next to her.  "Because the thought of something happening to you or you disappearing doesn't make me feel like I cant breathe? And I don't know how i’m supposed to feel around you or what i’m supposed to do because—"

_Because I love you. Because being close to you and feeling like we are oceans apart is breaking my heart._  

Only she didn't say that. _She couldn't_. The words got stuck in her throat, the air caught in her lungs, and the cracks in her heart ached enough to cause a tear to fall.  So instead of saying those last words. The words on the tip of her tongue. She kissed Carmilla. 

There was a moment of surprise from Carmilla, but it only took a second before she was kissing Laura back. Their clasped hands let go of one another, Laura balanced on her elbow leaning over Carmilla as her other hand reached up and held tightly to dark curls. 

_Breathing._  I was like breathing and Carmilla's lungs ached for more air. She nearly whimpered when Laura pulled back slightly, breaking the kiss and pressing their foreheads together.  Carmilla didn't dare open her eyes, but took comfort in the feel of Laura's warm breath hitting her lips.   _She was still there._

Laura breathed in shakily, pressing her eyes shut tight. _This wasn't it_. This wasn't fixing things. But she wanted just a moment of being with Carmilla— sharing the same air, feeling their hearts beat together quickly. 

_So she kissed her again._  

She pressed Carmilla down into the mattress as her chest came flush against the girl beneath her.  Laura could feel the rapid beating of her heart pounding against her rib cage as hands came up and pulled her closer. 

This kiss was hungry, but in a completely different way than things had felt in the closet earlier. I was as if no matter how close they were, it wasn't close enough. The kiss was full of passion but gentle. It was emotion, not lust. It was desperate, like the moon chases the sun hoping to share the sky for just a moment. A love written in stars— stars floating galaxies away from each other. Shining in the same sky, but longing to be closer.

_It was overwhelming_. 

Laura pulled back with a quiet sob she didn't know was trying to surface. Carmilla breathed out sharply through her nose, her eyebrows creasing together, knowing this time Laura wouldn't kiss her again.

“I can’t.” Laura breathed out shakily. Her eyes were closed, tears fighting to break through her eyelids as she pulled back and sat up on the bed. She buried her face in her hands, trying to stop herself from crying.

Carmilla took a deep breath and sat up and crossed her legs, turning to face Laura. “Why not?” She whispered, reaching out to take hold of Laura’s wrists, delicately urging her to lower her hands from over her face.

Laura dropped her hands into her lap but kept her head bowed down, her hair covering her face as she sniffled. Carmilla reached up to tuck caramel hair behind Laura’s ear before brushing her thumb along her cheek, wiping away the trail of tears. She used her hand to tilt Laura’s head up and let her thumb continue to brush her cheek, waiting for Laura to open her eyes or speak.

Laura reached up and took hold of the hand still pressed to her cheek. She held onto it as she turned her head, pressing her lips into Carmilla’s palm and placing a gentle kiss there before pulling their hands down to sit in her lap. She took a deep breath then opened her eyes.

The golden flecks whirled behind the ocean of tears threatening to fall as she searched Carmilla’s face, trying to find the words.

“Because right now I’m really hoping this means you're going to change. You kiss me and it-“ Laura paused to swallow back a quiet sob, “..it cracks me open and all of my stupid, messy hopes come tumbling out in ‘maybe’s’ and ‘somedays’ and how is that fair?”

“Well who the hell cares about fair?”

“I do.” Laura’s response was firm, and exactly what Carmilla should have expected. Because of course Laura cared. Its who she was. Its one of the reasons Carmilla loved her. Its one of the reasons Carmilla _needed_ her.

Laura sighed and played with Carmilla’s fingers in her lap, “maybe after everything settles down… we can talk?”

Carmilla looked down at their hands and nodded slowly, pressing her lips together. She had nothing to say. Again, it came back to how different they were. Before this she felt thats what made them work so well, they helped each other do and see things differently. But now, its seemed to be the one thing that kept getting in the way.

Carmilla lifted both hands to Laura's face and brushed her thumbs across Laura’s cheeks, wiping away tears before leaning in and placing a gentle kiss on her cheek. She waited for Laura to look at her before letting her lips twist into a soft smile, her eyes full of sadness, with just the tiniest bit of hope left. Hope she didn't want to let go of, but it was quickly fading.

“Lets get some sleep.” Carmilla whispered, brushing another tear from Laura’s cheek.

Laura sniffled and nodded her head softly before shifting to lay back down on her back. Carmilla laid down next to her, their hands landing on the mattress between them. Laura looked over at the girl next to her as she moved her hand to hold onto Carmilla’s. As Laura held tightly to her hand, Carmilla’s eyes shut and she took in a deep breath. It was agony. All of it.

“I need to—“ Carmilla let go of Laura’s hand and sat up quickly, running her hand through her hair. It was too much, being there, and not being enough.

“I just—“ Carmilla shook her head, she couldn't get her thoughts to calm down, all she knew was that it felt like she was suffocating. “I’ll be back.”

She tossed the covers off of her and rushed out of the bedroom, shutting the door quietly behind her. Laura let her go, knowing she was feeling the same way. She just needed a minute to try and figure out what she was feeling and thinking. It was all starting to blur together and she just felt more lost the more she thought about it all.

—

It had been a while since Carmilla left and Laura was about to fall asleep when she heard sounds coming from the other room. Quickly recognizing that it was Carmilla playing music she slowly sat up in bed and pulled her knees to her chest and tried to listen.

This is how Carmilla processed. She played music. She wrote. She took the heartache and confusion and pain and turned it into magic. Into beautiful, heartbreaking melodies and powerful and moving lyrics. And somehow, it helped Laura while it helped Carmilla. Being able to listen to the melodies and the words let Laura into the emotions and feeling Carmilla was having that she just couldn't express by talking.

Laura could hear the quiet melody was being accompanied by singing, but the door and the distance muffled it enough that she couldn't understand. She was drawn to it, and wanted to hear it all. Every word, every note, every feeling Carmilla had to share, she wanted to feel it. So she slowly got out of bed and walked quietly to the door. She pressed her ear to the door but things were still too muffled, so she took a deep breath and opened the door as silently as she could.

She peered through the small crack she had created in the doorway and saw Carmilla sitting on the couch, lights off, windows open, while the cold fall air blew into the room. Laura’s arms were covered in goosebumps, but she wasn't sure if it was from the cool breeze or the way the music wrapped around her heart and made it clench.

[ _Where's my will_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNsjh1FYLUY)  
_Can I find a way_  
_The earth is wild_  
_And I can't sit still_

_A familiar sound_  
_A familiar voice_  
_Makes it so hard_  
_To make a choice_  
_I don't know if_  
_I should stay_

After pacing the living room for what felt like forever, Carmilla still had no idea what to do. About anything. She walked over to the widows and pulled them open, letting the cool breeze fill the room. The cool air on her skin forced her to take a deep breath, letting her lungs fill completely for the first time since Laura had kissed her.

Why did it always come back to this? The person she was, wasn't the person Laura wanted. So why was she still here? Could she be the person Laura wanted? Did she want to be that person? Her thoughts were jumbled and it was more questions than answers, so she did the only thing she knew would help.

Carmilla started with a melody, but the words seemed to be coming easily. So she sat there in the dark, and let the song create itself. Things were always easier this way. Even if she couldn't form the words to speak.. she could almost always form them to sing.

_A thousand stars_  
_You will have my word_  
_Aren't bright enough_  
_To fill these cracks_

_A familiar place_  
_A familiar voice_  
_Makes it so hard_  
_To make a choice_  
_I don't know if I should stay_

It didn't make sense. She knew what was coming between her and Laura, and honestly, she wanted it to be different. So why couldn't it be? It could be. She just had to show Laura, and herself, that it could be.

Laura leaned her head against the door frame and shut her eyes. The song was powerful, and sad, and hopeful, and everything Carmilla had to give. So she listened.

I ran to you like water  
 I threw my body in  
 And I'll stand upon the ocean  
 Just to show you that I am strong  
 Strong   
But what if I am wrong

Carmilla looked up towards the bedroom and saw Laura standing there, her head barely poking out of the bedroom as she leaned against the door frame. She watched Laura’s expression shift at the words she sang. Carmilla hoped they made sense to her, that it answered the many questions she couldn't ever find the words for. Or at the very least, helped Laura understand what she was feeling.

She wanted to be enough for Laura. She wanted to be what Laura needed. And watching Laura standing in the doorway with a sad smile on her face, made Carmilla realize that maybe what Laura needed her to be, and what Laura thought she wanted her to be were two different things. So was that her choice? Be what Laura wanted and possibly lose herself? Or be what Laura needed, and possibly lose Laura?

_A familiar look_  
_A familiar smile_  
_Makes it so hard to make a choice_  
_I don't know if I should stay_

_Away…_

Laura opened her eyes and saw Camilla singing right to her. Her voice was soft her eyes full of something Laura couldn't place, but she couldn't look away.

Carmilla slowly stopped singing, she felt drained and had nothing left to say. Her eyes were locked on Laura’s and she was both happy and terrified at her realization. _She couldn't be what Laura wanted. Not completely. But maybe she could still be what Laura needed. The way Laura was exactly who Carmilla needed, too._

Laura scuffed her toes on the ground as she gripped the doorway trying to read Carmilla’a face. Carmilla smiled softly at her before standing up and walking back towards the bedroom.

Without a word Carmilla took Laura’s hand and led her back into the bedroom and over to the bed. She waited for Laura to climb in before scooting in after her. Rolling to her side, she scooted up behind Laura, pressing her chest to Laura’s back and wrapping her arm over her stomach and pulling her back against her tighter. Carmilla felt Laura sigh and her body relax as she held her tightly.

Carmilla placed a soft kiss on Laura’s shoulder before nuzzling her face into the back of her neck and whispering, “Good night, Laura.”

Maybe nothing was different. Maybe things weren't perfect. But just maybe, they could be ok, eventually. This was the hope that Carmilla refused to let go of. Just like she refused to let go of Laura as they fell asleep in each others arms.


	22. Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe things can get better? maybe not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm back! I know this chapter is shorter than usual, but i figured that would be better than making you wait another week.

Laura woke up to sounds coming from the kitchen. Scratch that— She woke up to _laughter_ coming from the kitchen. Slowly rolling over to check the clock, it was still pretty early, and she was alone in the bed. She had slept soundly despite the events of the previous day— probably due to the emotional exhaustion she had felt throughout the day. Things were getting more messy and complicated by the day and it was hard to have a moment where she wasn't stressed or worried. Falling asleep in Carmilla’s arms was the perfect escape from it all.

She couldn't think about that too much though, right now she wasn't sure if that made her happy or sad.

Throwing the covers off of herself, Laura swung her legs over the edge of the bed and let her toes press onto the cold floor. She stretched her arms over her head and leaned from one side to the other, letting her body wake up a bit before standing and grabbing some sweat pants to pull on.

There was more than one voice coming from the other room, and she couldn't quite figure out who it was. It took a second to even recognize Carmilla’s voice and laugh. It was so happy and energetic- something Laura hadn't heard lately. It was magical.

She cracked the door open a bit to look out in to the kitchen and saw Carmilla standing at the stove flipping pancakes in a skillet and a cup of coffee in her hand. Sitting on the counter top next to her was Mattie. Her head was thrown back, a smile on her face as she and Carmilla laughed together.

This was definitely a side of Mattie that Laura hadn't seen before. She had kicked her shoes off, and untucked her shirt from her tight skirt- it was the most casual Laura had ever seen her. She seemed younger, sitting on top of the counter, feet dangling above the ground as she giggled and laughed with Carmilla.

Carmilla seemed so purely happy. Her laugh was full and loud and completely free. She wasn't holding back or trying to hold on to some image. Laura’s staring session was ended as Mattie said something to Carmilla about her mother being in prison and dropping the soap. Carmilla doubled over in laughter and Mattie seemed close to falling off the counter as she laughed just as loudly.

“Was that— did you just make a joke?” Laura looked completely surprised, looking at Mattie before glancing at Carmilla, “And are you laughing at it?” Laura stepped through the door way slowly with a small smile on her face as she continued to observe the scene in front of her.

Mattie turned her head to look at Laura as she joined them in the kitchen, “If you cant make a lesbian joke about Carmilla’s borderline homophobic mother in prison, then you don’t understand comedy.”

Carmilla chuckled and flipped a pancake but didn't pause to turn around to look at Laura.

Mattie pressed her hands onto the counter on either side of her thighs and leaned down on them feigning a pout as she observed Laura’s hesitant expression, “Oh Gidget, I know you’re in the midst of angst-ing about how you and angel pants over here are starcrossed— but thats no excuse for losing your sense of humor.”

Laura rolled her eyes and crossed her arms loosely over her chest, “Says the PR tycoon trying to ruin me.”

Mattie raised her eyebrows and shook her head slightly, “Says the PR Tycoon who hasn't ruined you yet.” She smiled smugly as Carmilla let out a chuckle.

Laura nodded her head to the side as if to agree to Mattie’s statement. She was right, after all.

“You know how you survive in this world as well as I do? You stop Judging. There’s almost nothing in this world thats absolute.” she leaned back, resting her back against the cupboard and set her hands loosely in her lap. “Take this whole, Carmilla defending the family company despite your so called solid evidence, sitch your tiny panties in a bunch.”

Laura huffed out a small breath and took a step towards the counter, “You mean how Carmilla chose to defend a mother that she doesn't even get along with even though its her signature on all the incriminating documents with only a made up name and a hunch suggesting there might be a chance its not all her mothers doing?”

“Sure. If by ‘made up name’ you mean a man that has tried countless times to take the company away from Carmilla’s family, and by ‘mother she doesn't get along with’ you mean ‘Mother that asked for her help and apologized for her previous actions’.”

Carmilla glanced over her shoulder at Laura then back to the stove. Mattie watched the exchange and picked up on the fact that Carmilla probably hadn't given Laura all the details— on the extent of Vordenberg trying to steal the company away and ruin her families name, or on her recent meetings with her mother and the conversations that had occurred.

“Whatever legal destruction Carmilla unleashes on Vordenberg, he’s had it coming.” Mattie spoke matter of factly. She may be contracted to help the company, but it was clear what her personal opinion of the man in charge was. As well as her trust in Carmilla and her abilities.

“Carm?” Laura seemed to be thinking over everything Mattie had said seriously. Maybe things weren't as black and white as she thought. She knew there was more to Vodenberg— ever since they figured out his whole Voldemort trick, but she hadn't considered how deep or how far back this whole thing could have gone.

Carmilla just shrugged and let out a quiet sigh. There was nothing else for her to say, Mattie was already sharing more information than she had planned on giving Laura, and she really didn't want to have another fight so she decided to just stay quiet and see how things were going to play out with whatever Mattie was going to say next.

“See? You’ll be surprised what one can learn to co-exist with. And generally speaking, coexisting is better than losing everything completely.” Mattie reached over and fluffed Carmilla’s hair with her hand.

“Knock it off.” Carmilla said playfully as she swatted at Mattie’s hand with the spatula before taking a sip from the cup next to her on the counter.

Laura let out a laugh watching the two, which caused Carmilla to turn around. She had a small smile on her face, foam from her drink spread across her upper lip. She took a few big steps towards Laura and kissed her cheek, leaving the foam that had once been on her lip spread across Laura’s cheek.

“Good morning, by the way.” She said with a crooked smile before stepping back over to the stove to flip the pancakes again.

Laura chuckled and brought her hand up to wipe the foam from her cheek, “Ugh, was that necessary?”

“No.” Carmilla replied cheekily, smirking up at Mattie who let out a laugh.

Laura rolled her eyes and walked the rest of the way over to the island counter, leaning her arms on it, “Soo.. pancakes?” She looked between the other two who seemed to be having a silent conversation with their eyes.

“It's tradition. Pancakes and catching up.” Mattie smiled down at Carmilla then hopped off the counter and leaned back against it. “Would you like to join us?” Mattie glanced over at Laura, a small smile still present. No doubt she was forcing herself to keep it there, but it was there none the less.

Laura looked a little surprised at the offer and looked questioningly over at Carmilla who just smiled over her shoulder and raised an eyebrow before turning back to her pancakes.

“Umm, thats actually really nice of you to offer but I’m supposed to meet Danny in a bit.” Laura replied but she wasn't sure Mattie or Carmilla were listening anymore.

Mattie hit her hip into Carmilla’s playfully, who nudged her back before grabbing plates from the cupboard and setting them on the counter. She dropped a couple pancakes on them. Mattie grabbed their coffees and followed Carmilla around the counter to sit next to Laura at the island. Mattie sat down and placed one of the to go cups in front of Laura before adjusting herself on the stool and taking a bite of her pancakes.

Laura looked questioningly at the cup in front of her before looking up at Mattie with the same expression.

 Mattie rolled her eyes,  “Its hot chocolate, not arsenic.” she licked syrup off her lip, “Carmilla said you preferred it over coffee and I thought it would be rude to show up with coffee for us and nothing for you.”

“Thanks” Laura said sheepishly, taking a sip and immediately letting out a delighted moan at the delicious taste of hot chocolate. She set the cup down in front of her and leaned an elbow on the counter, her head resting in her hand as she turned to face the other two at the island counter.

Laura’s eyebrows came together, a puzzled look on her face as she watched as they bickered over who had the bigger pancake, if peanut butter was better than regular butter and what the right amount of syrup was to create the perfect pancake. It was mesmerizing. It was sisters being sisters. No drama, job chaos, or problems were present in this moment. It was just Mattie and Carmilla enjoying each others company and Laura had to admit, even with the rough interactions she’s had with Mattie, they were kind of adorable.

“You guys seem happy today.” Laura cut in, taking another sip.

“Yes well, I think I’ve found a solution.” Mattie snuck a piece of pancake from Carmilla’s plate and ate it quickly.

“Mattie is going to take down Vordenberg.” Carmilla glared at Mattie and set her fork down on her plate, “As long as he doesn't figure out whats happening until after its already done, it should clean things up right away and take the blame off mother and help the companies image.”

“And its legal?” Laura asked hesitantly.

Carmilla and Mattie shared a look before Mattie sat up tall and squared her shoulders, “Its what has to be done if we want to see results.” She looked over at Laura and saw the concerned expression and rolled her eyes, “Don’t worry, we aren't having him killed or anything crazy.”

She smiled widely at Carmilla at the statement. Carmilla chuckled and took another bite of her breakfast.

“I don’t think i’ll ever understand your sense of humor.” Laura shook her head but smiled at them both, “I’m going to go get ready.” Laura commented as she stood up slowly, watching the pair giggle over some inside joke. She shook her head when she realized they didn't even listen to her and she chuckled to herself as she walked back into the bedroom to get ready.

—

“I”ll show you absurd!”

Laura walked back out into the other room just in time to hear Carmilla yell then launch herself across the couch to tackle Mattie. Mattie let out a boisterous laugh and wrapped her arms around Carmilla as they fell off the couch onto the ground. Carmilla laughed loudly and wretched as Mattie poked at her ribs.

“Alright kids..” Laura laughed as the two on the ground stopped wrestling long enough to look up at her with smiles on their faces. “I’m off to meet with Danny.”

“Meet us for lunch today?” Carmilla asked from her spot on the floor, limbs spread, trying to pin Mattie to the ground.

Laura smiled then glanced at Mattie to see if she was just as happy about Carmilla inviting her to interrupt their lunch.

“Yes, join us.” Mattie grunted as she pushed Carmilla off of her and sat up. “Really kitty, you’re such a child.” She stood up and straightened out her clothing.

“Really? Ok, sure, that sound great. Text me?” Laura smiled and watched Camilla stand up next to Mattie and nod.

Laura wasn't completely sure what was happening but she was going to go with it. Everyone was all smiles and lunch dates and it was amazing. Things seemed to be looking up and Laura was all for things being better. Just as she walked out the door she heard Carmilla yelp as Mattie had pushed her over onto the couch and sat on top of her. Yeah, they were just like sisters. And completely adorable.

_Maybe Mattie wasn't so bad after all._  

——

**8:15 am**

Laura ran up to the doors of the cafe she was meeting Danny at and saw the red head already inside at a table. She made her way inside and dropped her bag next to the table as she sat down in her seat.

“Hey! Sorry i’m late, it was a weird morning.” Laura chuckled thinking about the morning with Carmilla and Mattie.

“Weird good it seems?” Danny leaned her elbows forward on the table. She wasn't in the greatest mood but she didn't want to ruin Laura’s morning that seemed to be going a lot better than her own.

“Yeah, Mattie was over for breakfast—“

“And that was good?” Danny snapped. Apparently not wanting to ruin Laura’s morning was short lived.

“Is everything ok?” Laura asked hesitantly. Danny didn't usually get upset like this, especially at her, so something had to be up.

“No. Yes, I don’t know. I’m sorry, keep telling me about your morning, then we can talk about me.” Danny sighed and ran a hand through her hair.

Laura looked at her carefully and decided it was probably best to keep talking, give Danny a minute to calm down. “Carm made pancakes, and they were just goofing off together. It was just different, ya know? I’ve never seen Carm act that way with anyone. And it was for sure a different side of Mattie.” Laura shrugged, “And I guess Mattie thinks she has a solution to all this company stuff.”

Danny perked up at that. She was still struggling with the idea of firing Kirsch and a few other people. A way out of this mess would be great news for her. “She’s going to take down Vordemort from the inside. She didn't say how, which is probably a good thing because we all know how good I am at keeping my mouth shut. Plus she implied its less than legal and that would mean trouble for everyone involved and I’d rather not be part of that group, ya know? But as long as Vordemort doesn't find out what she's doing she thinks it will work.”

“Wow Hollis, all in one breath. I’m impressed.” Danny chuckled.

Laura smiled and reached for a menu, “Anyway, you want to tell me whats up with you?”

Danny grabbed a menu and opened it up herself but was thinking about what Laura had just said more than reading the menu, “Actually, I think it’s going to work out just fine.” She looked up and smiled at Laura across the table, “Lets eat, I’m starving.”

——

**11:40 am**

_**Carmilla (11:40 am):** I’m out front _

_**Laura (11:41 am)** : Be right down! _:)

Laura packed up her bag with the papers strewn across her desk. She had finally decided on a direction to take her next article, she was still short on actual facts and content, but she hoped her idea would work and not strain her relationship more than it already was.

She slung her bag over her shoulder and made a beeline for the elevator. Carmilla was picking her up and they were meant to meet Mattie for lunch. She wanted to take advantage of this good mood everyone seemed to be in today.

She walked outside and saw Carmilla standing on the sidewalk her hands shoved into her jacket pockets as she rocked on her heels and watched her feet against the concrete. She had a small smile on her face and she looked less tired than she had the past few days. Already that was an excellent sign things were getting better.

“Ready?” Laura asked cheerful as she looped her arm through Carmilla’s and gave it a squeeze.

“I am now.” Carmilla smiled at her before leading her down the sidewalk.

“Are we not driving?” Laura asked following the dark haired girl around the corner.

“Mattie just texted and said to meet her at the office instead of the restaurant.” Carmilla pulled her own arm tight against her body, causing Laura to move closer from her arm being looped around it. “And I thought a walk with you would be nice.”

Laura smiled coyly and looked down at her feet as she pressed herself tightly into Carmilla's side as they walked. The energy between them today was completely different than the day before. As they walked Laura was glad that Carmilla was leading her because all she could think about was the kiss they shared the night before. The song Carmilla had sung before going back to bed, and even though things were so uncertain, Carmilla’s arms around her as she fell asleep seemed to be the one sure thing in her life. Through all of this, Carmilla had continued to love her. _Maybe she had changed?_

Since this whole ordeal began it had been one giant cycle of confusion and being stuck in between. Things constantly happening or changing. Ups and downs. Love, chaos, hurt, frustration, desperation, hope, it had all been there. Maybe this was the point of moving away from all of that. Of finally getting out of this in-between place her and Carmilla had been stuck in and actually moving forward. Walking arm and arm felt so easy, so right, maybe that was the first step into getting back to where they were before. Or better yet, maybe all this had helped them grow to be able to come of out it better than they were.

"You seem lighter today." Laura broke the silence as they approached the office building.

"I forgot how much I enjoyed Mattie's company." Carmilla smiled, "She can be a pain in the ass, but she's still the same Mattie I grew up with. I honestly don't know what I'd do without her."

 

Carmilla opened the door and lead Laura over to the elevator. She pressed the button then interlocked her hand with Laura’s. Their 10 minute walk had been mostly silent, and the elevator ride up was exactly the same.

_Then the elevator door opened._

“Get the hell out!” Mattie yelled angrily.

“Now Miss Belmonde, that tone is quite unnecessary. Miss Lawrence was simply looking out for the company, which is something you should have been doing.” Vordenberg replied haughtily.

Laura and Carmilla looked at each other before rushing out of the elevator and towards the shouting. They got to the doorway and saw Mattie standing behind her desk, finger tips pressed to the surface forcefully, her face twisted in to a scowl as she glared at the two people in her office.

_Vordenberg and Danny._

“Danny? What are you doing here?” Laura asked, stepping into the office, leaving Carmilla standing in the doorway.

“Yes _Danny_ ,” Mattie spat out as she stood up straight, keeping her glare locked on the red head, “What are you doing?”

Danny glared back at Mattie before turning to look at Laura, her look softening to something more apologetic, “I’m sorry Laura, I had to.”

“Had to what?” Carmilla asked, looking to Mattie with a worried expression.

“When I wouldn't fire Kirsch or Mel or anyone else, she went ahead and did it anyway. She’s the one trying to downsize and I couldn't just let it happen. Couldn't let her just come in here and ruin peoples lives like that.”

“You little fool.” Mattie spat back at Danny harshly. She started packing up her bag, her body full of anger.

Carmilla crossed the office to the desk, “Mattie, whats going on?”

“I don’t know how many times I have to tell your friends I’m not the one they need to worry about.” She shoved the last of her papers into her bag and slammed it on the top of the desk, “Little red here got me taken off this case.”

Carmilla turned to look at Danny then Laura. Laura looked just as surprised as Carmilla but Danny just continued to glare at Mattie.

“Not only that, but I’m being sent back to New York, possibly jobless.” Mattie crossed her arms over her chest. She was barely containing her anger.

“Better you than Kirsch.” Danny retorted confidently.

“Actually..” Vordenberg spoke up slowly, “I’m afraid your friend and the others are still out of jobs.”

“What?!” Danny turned to look at Vordenberg quickly, “But you promised, you said—“

“Yes well, I was fibbing.” Vordenberg shrugged nonchalantly.

“Is this actually surprising to you?” Carmilla scoffed, glaring at Danny.

“He said he’d give them their jobs back.” Danny’s voice was clearly lacking the confidence it once had.

“Rob Vender!” Carmilla exclaimed angrily. “He’s your fucking Voldemort and you trusted him?!”

“Ah yes, I see you remember our little game.” Vordenberg chuckled to himself. “You really were a cute young lass, I see you haven't lost your crass attitude though.”

Mattie chuckled humorlessly shaking her head, “You know..” She stepped out from behind her desk slowly, “Since I’ve arrived I’ve been gracious, I’ve been reasonable, I’ve been civilized. But all you idiots do is accuse me of taking away your jobs and ruining your little stories,” She glanced from Danny to Laura before giving Carmilla a look, “As if I actually care about your pathetic little lives and jobs.”

Carmilla clenched her jaw, knowing this was Mattie working her way up into what would prove to be an interesting moment. Mattie had a way with making an exit, and under these circumstances, Carmilla wasn't sure how far Mattie would go.

“I’m going to destroy your reputations. Take away your jobs any chance of you finding another person to hire you.. you want to blame me for your little misfortunes? I’ll show you misfortune.” Mattie glared heavily at Vordenberg then Danny.

“This isn't over.” Danny stepped forward, challenging Mattie by stepping into her space.

Mattie scoffed, “Is that so, ginger snap?” Mattie stepped forward, toe to toe with Danny, “That temper of yours is going to get you in a bind some day.”

“I’ll work on it.” Danny glared back.

“Your superiors are anxious to see you as soon as you arrive back in New York.” Vordenberg stepped forward interrupting the staring match, reminding Mattie how serious the situation actually was.

She could very well lose her job over this. Because she was willing to help Carmilla instead of abide by the rules of her contract with the company.

Mattie was about to say something when a phone started ringing. All eyes moved to Carmilla as she fished her phone out of her pocket quickly and hit the button to silence the ring, but not before seeing the number calling her.

“Its the police station.” Carmilla spoke quietly, not sure what that meant.

“Ah yes, thanks to the information Miss Lawrence provided I was able to inform the courts about your less than legal attempt to remove me from my position on the board. They agreed it was rather tasteless and I suggested your mother be taken into custody to avoid any other drastic attempts of escaping her deserved fate. They have also denied your request to transfer your company shares.” Vordenberg smiled smugly as he walked out of the office, leaving the rest of them in there alone.

Danny shrank slightly and stepped back, realizing she hadn't saved Kirsch’s job after all. She was still glad Mattie had been fired, positive she was the influence that started this mess in the first place. But also realized her actions had caused Carmilla’s mother to be arrested once more.

“Mattie?” Carmilla’s voice was nearly a whisper as she finally put together the pieces of what was happening. Mattie was leaving and she would be left on her own. Her plan to help her mother had just been destroyed and her mother had probably already been arrested again. “What do I do?”

Mattie stepped back to her desk and grabbed her bag as she let out a sigh. She turned to face Carmilla, a wary expression on her face, “I think you’ve already done it, darling.” She glanced from Carmilla over to Laura then back to Danny.

Mattie knew her secret plan had been spilled. Her plan was only going to work if Vordenberg didn't know about it, and he had found out. She knew Danny had made the deal to save Kirsch (which was useless in the end), but Danny had to find out about her plan somewhere. And Mattie knew it had to of been from Laura.

That single act had set everything into motion. Mattie losing her job, being sent back to New York, and Carmilla’s mother being in more trouble that before and quite possibly going to jail. And soon.

Laura watched half shocked half concerned as Carmilla’s demeanor changed completely. The girl she had walked with to the building, arm in arm, stealing glances with, had been left behind. She seemed to have the weight of the world on her shoulders suddenly.

A security guard showed up outside the office and gestured with his hands as if to lead someone from the office. He was there to escort Mattie out.

Mattie stepped towards the door, barely passing Carmilla before turning her head back slightly and speaking softly, “Carmilla, listen to me; I was never after their jobs, that wasn't me. I’m afraid this is much bigger than we thought.” She took another step forward stopping just outside the doorway as Carmilla said her name.

“Mattie, tell me what to do?” Carmilla pleaded softly.

Everything had been ruined. That morning things seemed to be working out. A morning spent laughing and talking like old times had been cut short and twisted into a nightmare where Carmilla was being left to try and save her mother and the company by herself and Mattie could be losing her job, everything she had worked her entire life for.

“Be careful who you trust, Kitty Cat. Betrayal can only come from those close to you.” Mattie’s words were meant for Carmilla, but her eyes were locked on Laura. Her anger had subsided and she seemed more defeated. Essentially she was headed for her own execution. Vordenberg was set on ruining her, taking away her job, and reputation if possible. She disappeared down the hall quietly, leaving Laura and Danny staring at Carmilla’s back in the otherwise empty office.

Carmilla dropped her eyes to look at the floor. _‘Be careful who you trust, Kitty Cat’_. Mattie had trusted her, and it had possibly ruined her career for it. The relationship that had been between Mattie and Carmilla had instantly shifted. Mattie wouldn't say it, but the tone of her voice and the way she left made it clear to Carmilla— Mattie had trusted Carmilla and had been betrayed. She had been her sister and now… she wasn't sure if Mattie would forgive her.

Someone was to blame for this, and Carmilla was going to do everything she could to get them back for what was happening.

“You’re ruined.” Carmilla growled. Her voice was angry but quiet, like it was a thought that had somehow escaped her lips on its own, purely from the amount of anger filling her body. It simply couldn't be contained within her.

“What?” Danny was the one to respond. Her eyebrows came together slightly confused and she glanced at Laura before returning her gaze to Carmilla’s stiff back.

Laura was just as confused as Danny. Tensions were high in the office and she was at a loss for words. Danny seemed distraught over her failed plan to save Kirsch and her other coworkers, and Carmilla looked devastated to be losing Mattie’s presence during all the chaos, and Laura didn't know what to do. Once again, it was all a mess.

“You’re ruined.” Carmilla repeated firmly, finding her voice again. She turned around and glared at Danny, her posture stiff and hands clenched at her sides, “I am going to ruin you. You don’t even know what you've done. But you’re going to go the rest of your life regretting it.”

Laura had never seen Carmilla this angry, and honestly it worried her. Her voice was harsh, her eyes dark with anger and narrowed in a fierce glare. Her hands were clenched tight enough that her knuckles were losing color, her forearms flexing tightly, shoulders set squarely.

Danny stood quickly, squaring her shoulders and trying to match Carmilla’s confidence, “If you think I’m afraid of your threats—“

“You should be!” Carmilla spat back, cutting her off. She stepped forward, her body vibrating with anger.

“Carm, stop.” Laura’s body finally caught up to what was happening, allowing her to interject. She stepped between Carmilla and Danny, trying to calm the situation, but it only seemed to make it worse.

“Laura, get out of the way.” Carmilla ignored her girlfriend as much as possible, keeping her glare locked on Danny and speaking through gritted teeth.

“No, its not her fault.” Laura was starting to feel desperate. _She was losing her._ She was losing the Carmilla she knew, the one she had realized had been doing so much to try and change, to try and be better, _for her_.

“Laura, get out of the way.” She enunciated the words harshly, her heart beat pounding in her head as her anger grew. She needed someone to blame, and she wanted to blame Danny. If she did that, then she could ignore the fact that Laura had been the only other person to know of their plan, the only other person that could be responsible for what had just happened.

“No, Mattie was— Danny was just trying to save Kirsch, she had to.” Laura pleaded nervously. It was all falling apart right in front of her, and there was nothing she could do. _She was losing her_.

“I don’t care, she’s done.” The rise and fall of Carmilla’s chest quickened as her breathing grew heavy, her jaw clenched tightly. If it weren't for Laura standing between them, Carmilla was sure she would have lunged at Danny by now. She was feeling desperate— whatever hope she was clinging to left as soon as Mattie walked out of that office and she was clutching to frayed ends.

Her anger was the only thing keeping her from panicking. As long as she was angry, she wouldn't have to think about how hopeless things had just become. How alone she now was, and how she had absolutely no plan left to save her mother.

“I’m the one that told her what Mattie was doing and you know—“ Laura sucked in a worried breath, she too was feeling desperate, “you know its my fault.” She watched nervously as Carmilla shut her eyes and took a deep breath.

Carmilla didn't want to open her eyes. If she did, she would see Laura. The woman she loved completely, yet just admitted to betraying her. How was she supposed to feel about that? What was she supposed to do?

Camilla’s hands unclenched and her shoulders dropped slightly. The anger consuming her body shifting to defeat, “God, she was right.” She breathed out, before finally opening her eyes and looking directly at Laura. “You are a selfish, callow girl, and I am the fool who trusted you.”

_She was losing her_.

“Carm, i’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” Laura hadn't realized she had started crying until she half spoke, half sobbed her last apology. Carmilla had never spoken to her this way before, never looked at her the way she was.

_She was losing her_.

Carmilla just looked at Laura, her eyes seeming to be empty. Her body felt hollow, her heart used to ache at the sight of Laura with how much she loved her. But the ache she felt now was different.

Her heart felt like a fractured compass. Before this moment it had always pointed towards Laura, her home. Now it seemed to have no direction.

“An entire lifetime of friendship. Years of working together to make our dreams a reality, can you even imagine? All those memories, all that work—to end like this. And my mother.” Carmilla huffed out a breath heavily, “God, my mother." She shook her head and chuckled humorlessly, "Being punished for something she didn't even do. For what? For you?” Carmilla scoffed and stepped backwards, running a hand through her hair.

“Carm please.” Laura stepped towards her desperately.

Carmilla held up her hand, urging Laura to stop. She took another step away from her and turned so her back was facing her, “Be good for me Carmilla. Change for me Carmilla. Burn down everything you’ve ever loved for me Carmilla.”

Laura hiccuped another sob and reached out for Carmilla, “Thats not fair i didn’t—“

Carmilla twisted away harshly at the touch, “Stay away from me!”

She turned around and locked eyes with Laura. She forced herself to ignore the tears fall down Laura’s cheeks and the way her eyes were pleading with her, an apology that words wouldn't never match.

Laura pulled her hands back quickly, shocked at Carmilla’s response. “Carm..” she breathed out before taking in a shaky breath, trying to halt her crying.

Carmilla simply shook her head and clenched her jaw before turning around and storming out of the office.

Laura let out a heavy breath as she lifted her hands to cover her face. She shook her head, trying to make the pieces scattered in her brain fall together. How had it ended up this way? How did things keep falling apart? How had she become the one that betrayed Carmilla’s trust?

Laura dropped her hands and looked back at Danny who wore a worried expression. She couldn't let this be the end of it. Laura ran out of the office and down the hallway towards the elevator. She rounded the corner just in time to see the doors closing, Carmilla inside leaning against the back wall, her head buried in her hands.

She was crying.

Laura couldn't hear it, or even see the tears, but the shaking of Carmilla shoulders and the way her body was hunched over itself, her head in her hands… she knew.

_She was losing her._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: yoitsmeecass (in case you want to come say hey)


	23. I'm not your hero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hearts are broken and things just keep getting worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Theres a song in this chapter... Its linked where it starts but if you want to look it up its Bethany Joy Galeotti - Halo

“What did I do?” Laura shook her head and looked out the passenger window of Danny’s car, “She’s never going to forgive me.”

Danny glanced over quickly before looking back to the road. Her grip on the steering wheel tightened as she considered what to say, “This isn't your fault.”

Laura turned to look at her, her eyes were red and slightly puffy. She had manages to stop crying but the stinging behind her eyelids wouldn't quit. Pin pricks just trying to force more tears.

“Its _all_ my fault.” She breathed out, “Carmilla’s mother getting arrested, Vordenberg in charge, Mattie getting fired—“

“That had to be done.” Danny cut her off quickly. “She ruined a lot of lives. Mel, Kirsch..” She looked over at Laura as they sat at a red light, “She was going to try to fire me.”

Laura didn't seem to register what she was saying. Her eyes were locked out the window, her expression staying the same. Red eyes and a slight frown, but nothing else. It was like any emotion she had, had been completely drained from her body and she was left with nothing. Nothing but guilt.

“Look— I know things are messed up..” Danny reached over and squeezed Laura's arm, trying to get her attention, “but when you're the only one trying to fix a messed up situation, maybe its not all your fault when things go sideways.”

Laura looked over at her, she knew Danny was trying to help, but it didn't change the way Laura felt about it all. She had started this. Her article, Vordenberg, telling Danny about Mattie’s plan. She couldn't really be angry at Danny, she understood why she did what she did, but it didn't change the fact that she felt like she had betrayed Carmilla.

“Can you just take me home?” Laura spoke quietly, feeling the stinging in her eyes get worse as tears began to well up in them once more.

Danny just nodded and gripped the wheel again, heading the direction to Laura’s apartment.

Laura turned to look out the window again, raising a hand to wipe a tear before rubbing her palm on her thigh. She knew it wasn't very likely, but she was hoping Carmilla would be at home. Even with everything that happened, she just wanted to see her. Talk to her. She just wanted a way to make things right.

——

“I know Danny wants to let me off the hook but- I belong on it. I am captain hook.” Laura rolled her eyes at herself. She never was good with conflict, and she couldn't figure out the best way to explain it all.

“Look, sweetheart…” Her fathers voice was soft as it came through the speaker on the phone.

She had called him as soon as she got home and realized Carmilla wasn't there. Her dad always knew what to say when she was having a hard time, and Laura was hoping this time would be no different.

Before he could get another word out, Laura interrupted, feeling like her thoughts were finally making sense in a way she could explain, “I just keep on thinking that there’s right, and then theres wrong, and that i’m doing the right thing. But I just keep making all of these messes.”

Laura heard her father sigh on the other end of the phone, she didn't even need him to say anything to know what he was thinking.

“And this whole time I’ve been pushing Carmilla to ‘be better’ and ‘be good’- only i’m the one that betrayed her trust.” She let out a sigh of her own, “How is that good? How is that the right thing to do? How am I anything but a hypocrite- saying that right and wrong are whatever I want them to be and not caring how much damage I cause?”

“Laura.” Her father spoke up, trying to cut off her downward spiral of guilt and rambling, “Have you talked to Carmilla about this? Told her what you just told me?”

She had been pacing the apartment as she talked but at his question she dropped down onto the couch, dropping her head back against the cushions and grumbled, “Nooo.”

He let out a quiet chuckle, “It sounds to me like you know what you did wrong, you just need to apologize to the right person. Telling me this isn't going to help the situation—“

“She wont talk to me dad. She just left, told me to stay away from her. I’ve never seen her that angry.” Laura really wished her father was closer, she really just wanted a hug.

“Try harder sweetheart.” His voice was comforting, but firm in his advice.

Laura would have found that annoying if she didn't know he was right. She sighed and dropped down to lay on her side. “I don’t know what to do, dad.”

“You’re a smart girl, you’ll figure it out.”

“What if I don’t?” She asked quietly, not sure she would ever be able to find a way for Carmilla to forgive her.

“Do you love her?”

It was such a simple question. With such an easy answer. _Yes. She had never loved anyone more._

“Yes.” She could feel the stinging in her eyes again. How could she make this right?

“Then you’ll find a way.” He was so sure in his answer.

That surety reminded Laura of Carmilla. The countless times she had reassured Laura that things would work out, or was so sure they were meant to be, that they could make it through anything. Maybe now it was Laura’s turn to have that surety. To believe that much in their love to prove to Carmilla that they could make it through this. That she wasn't going to give up. No matter what it took, Laura would do whatever she had to in order to earn Carmilla’s forgiveness.

“Thanks, dad.” Laura whispered as she brought her knees up to her chest. Laying on her side, curled in as tightly as she could she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“It’ll be okay, pumpkin. I love you.”

“Love you too.” With that she hung up the phone and looked around the empty apartment.

She could do this. She could make things right. She had to, she couldn't lose Carmilla.

——

17 hours. 

That's how long Laura had spent staring at her computer, pacing the living room, and refilling her cup.  She had lost count of how many hot chocolates she had consumed at this point but figured it was enough to send her into a sugar coma any second. The fact that she wasn't dead from it already was convincing her that the universe was on her side and trying to help her make things right. 

She was delirious. But determined.

One more read through her final draft of her article and she let out a heavy breath. There was nothing left to do, she was done. She attached the file to an email and sent it to her editor.   _Just 5 minutes before the deadline._   It would be in tomorrow's paper and hopefully shed some light on the situation and begin her attempt to make things right with Carmilla. 

She had still been short on actual facts to pin on Vordenberg, but she hoped the way she worded it would both keep her from getting in trouble and get people thinking more widely on the situation. It was the best she could do under the circumstances.  

She leaned forward and set her laptop on the coffee table before sitting back in the couch.  Right now all she could do was wait. Wait till her article was in the paper, then she had to find Carmilla and try to talk to her again.  It had been radio silence since she yelled at Laura in the office, even though Laura had tried to text and call. She didn't blame Carmilla for ignoring her, she knew she deserved it, but that didn't make it hurt any less. 

As far as she knew, Carmilla hadn't been back to the apartment, Will said he hadn't seen her, same with Laf and Perry. So who knows where she's been staying or what she's been doing, which only made Laura worry more. After seeing the way she reacted to the stuff with Mattie and her mom, Laura wasn't sure how Carmilla was going to deal with it all and if she needed to be worried more than the normal amount. 

Sleep came easier than Laura would have thought, though- which was probably a good thing. Come Friday morning she could see her article come to life and hopefully watch the domino effect of consequences begin, just like it had with her first article that started all this. 

\----

**Friday**

**9:20 am**

Laura stiffly straightened out her legs and attempted to roll over, her eyes went wide and her arms flailed as she nearly fell off the couch. 

"Ughh" she groaned as she sat up and shifted around trying to loosen up her tense body. She rubbed her eyes with her palms and let out a yawn. 

Glancing up at the clock and realizing what time it was she lunged for the remote and turned on the tv. Flipping to the morning news, hoping to see a report on Morgan Industries. Maybe her article had made a difference with how things were being reported. 

_"Lilita Morgan is currently in custody awaiting trial for multiple counts of fraud, money laundering, and her involvement with the companies stock market scandal. All signs point to guilty as evidence...”_

Laura quickly turned off the tv and threw the remote to the other end of the couch. _So maybe she was expecting more to happen with her article_. She jumped off the couch, grabbed her keys and ran to the door. She sprinted down the stairs and grabbed a newspaper from off the ground, opening it up and flipping through the pages to find her article.

_It wasn't there._

——

“What do you mean you couldn't print it?!” Laura was trying to keep her cool but her editor wouldn't give her a straight answer about why her article had been left out of that days paper.

“Look Hollis, I think things have been a little hectic and its probably best you take a break.” Her editor sat forward in his chair, leaning his arms on his desk.

“A break?” Laura was completely shocked, “A week ago you were telling me to dig deeper and now you want me to take a break? Whats going on Grant?”

Grant sighed and leaned back, “Shut the door and have a seat.”

Laura looked at him curiously before reaching back and shutting the door to his office, she made her way back to the chair opposite his and sat down slowly.

“Its out of my hands at this point.” Grant shook his head slightly, “If it were my call, your story would be front page because we both know this is big. But someone higher up put a stop to it. And you.”

“What do you mean, 'and me'?” Laura could feel the panic filling her chest, dreading what all this meant.

“I mean as of right now, you’re benched.” He looked apologetic and Laura knew if there was anything he could have done, he would have done it for her.

“Benched? Does that mean i’m not fired?”

“Not yet.”

“Not yet?!” Laura leaned forward, “This is crazy!”

“Look, Laura..” He let out a breath and looked like he was carefully considering his next words. His voice dropped lower, and quieter as he leaned forward, “I’m not telling you to go against what I just said, but I also cant stop you from pursuing this if I don’t know about it.”

Laura leaned back, her eyebrows coming together trying to understand what Grant was trying to say, “You mean you want me to—“

“I mean-“ he cut her off quickly, “Whatever you do while you take a break, is completely up to you.” He gave her a look trying to force her to understand what he was really trying to say.

“Oooh, oh, ok.” She nodded slowly, her eyes narrowing, her brain working overtime trying to read his mind.

Grant rolled his eyes and sat up straight, “You have no idea what i’m saying, do you?”

“No, not at all.” Laura said quickly, a slight frown on her face.

“For a reporter, sometimes I wonder—“ he shook his head, realizing he was getting off subject, “just, get some facts. Something solid they cant refute. Otherwise, all this..” He gestured around the office, “maybe be over for you. And me.”

It finally clicked and Laura sat up straight with a determined expression on her face, “Got it, boss.”

——

**10:15 pm**

“Thanks, Will.” Carmilla sat down on the edge of the stage and took the bottle of water from her brother, opening it up and bringing it to her lips.

“You know Laura’s been looking for you.” Will mentioned, trying to seem casual, “She seemed worried when I talked to her. Anything you want to talk about?” He leaned his hip against the stage and looked out over the growing crowd in the bar.

Carmilla lifted the bottle again, taking another sip. She cleared her throat and looked over at him, “Theo and his buddies liking the show tonight?”

Will rolled his eyes, catching onto her attempt to ignore his question but decided to go along with it, “Yeah, so far all they’ve said is good things.”

“Good. Good.” Carmilla nodded and glanced around the crowd. She hadn't seen Laura since Tuesday when everything exploded- and ok, she had been avoiding her on purpose but that didn't mean she wasn't allowed to miss her. It made her frustrated every time she caught herself scanning the room for her. She was angry. Laura had crossed a line. And as much as Carmilla hated it, she still loved her anyway.

“Why don’t you just call her?” Will asked as he watched her eyes scan the room.

Carmilla’s eyebrows raised as she looked at him, “Who?”

“Don’t play dumb. You've been looking for her all night.”

“Have not.”

“Have too. Quit being so stubborn—“

“You don’t know what happened.” Carmilla cut him off angrily. She saw the hurt in his eyes and immediately regretted taking out her frustration on him, “I’m sorry, its just- a lot is going on and its not as simple as just calling her.”

“She’s been put on probation at that paper.”

“oh?” Carmilla took another sip of water, trying to act indifferent.

“She could lose her job.” Will followed up, knowing his sister wasn't as heartless as she was pretending to be.

Carmilla just nodded in response, glancing around the room again. Internally she immediately started to worry for Laura, but didn't want to back down from her anger.

Will didn't look convinced and shook his head. “I better get back.”

“Yeah.” Carmilla sighed and watched her fingers start to peel back the label on the water in her hands.

“Carmilla!” She was pulled from her wallowing by Theo’s voice yelling over the crowd and forced herself to sit up straight and smile as best she could. Theo and a few other guys from the label were there to see her band play before sighing the official papers to make a record together. It was pretty much up to her set that night to impress them enough to want to pay her to make music. She couldn't mess that up just because her heart felt like it was in pieces.

“Hey, Theo. Enjoy the show?” She spoke loud enough for him to hear her over the crowd as he hopped up on the stage to sit next to her. He was just like kirsch in the ‘excited puppy dog’ kind of way and she found it incredibly annoying.

“Oh yeah, the guys loved it! They cant wait to get started on a record.” He bounced a bit, a big smile on his face.

Carmilla chuckled as she watched him. Will must have been pouring them drinks all night long for him to be acting this way. Theo started talking excitedly but Carmilla tuned him out as she saw someone walk through the door.

_Laura._

She watched as Laura pushed her way through the crowd in the room towards the bar. Carmilla wasn't sure, but she didn't think Laura had seen her yet. Her jaw clenched and her stomach tightened. She hated that she was glad to see her, and felt slightly relieved when she found she was still angry. This mixture of emotions was going to kill her. She didn't know if she wanted to run across the bar and kiss her, or scream at her.

“Theo.” Carmilla forced herself to look away from the brunette leaning across the bar talking to Will.

“Yeah?” Theo turned to face her, swaying a bit from his seat on the edge of the stage.

“I have one more song for you guys.” She smiled at him before turning back to look at Laura.

Laura’s eyes were on her already, but she couldn't read her expression. She didn't move to approach Carmilla, or try to smile or wave. She was just looking at her. She looked tired, her eyes slightly red, and the smile Carmilla was so used to seeing wasn't there. It pulled on her heart to see her that way and she clenched her fists telling herself not to feel bad for her. Was it possible to hate someone and love them at the same time? Probably not. Even in this moment Carmilla couldn't say she hated her. _Thats why it hurt so badly._ Thats what made it a betrayal in the first place. Because she loved her. She loved her with everything she had, and it was breaking her.

“Sweet! I’ll tell the guys!” Theo hopped off the stage and half pushed, half danced his way back to the group of guys he had arrived with.

Carmilla watched him go, and as it was, they were sitting right next to where Laura was. Laura’s eyes were still on her as she stood up and walked back to her band who was still on the stage. She spoke to them for a minute before moving over to the instruments and hooking up her guitar to the amp.

_This was one song she wanted the extra power behind._

——

**10:10 pm**

“Ok. Will just texted me and said Carmilla is at the bar and will be there for a little while longer.” Laura shoved her phone in her pocket before reaching up to grab the seatbelt and clip it over her.

“And you’re sure this is a good idea?” Perry asked nervously from the back seat.

“Its the only one I have.” Laura said honestly, turning around to look at her.

“Come on Per, its romantic. I thought you’d love this kind of thing.” Laf snickered as they pulled out onto the street.

Perry’s face looked absolutely worried, “Well normally yes but it sounds like maybe Carmilla needs a bit of space. I mean if she's been avoiding—“

“Per! Not helping!” Laf cut her off and gave her a look through the rear view mirror. “She has to do something besides lay around and pine after her broody lover.”

“Thats not what I’m doing!” Laura turned to look at them slightly flustered.

“You totally are. You’re the piniest pine who ever pined.” Laf retorted with a straight face.

Laura slumped a little in her seat and let out a sigh, “Ok, I know. I screwed up. Big time. But I have to at least try. Right?” She turned to look at Lafontaine then Perry with hopeful eyes.

Laf nodded encouragingly, Perry doing the same, only less convincingly.

—

Laura waved as Laf pulled out of the bar parking lot- She was glad to have caught them just as they were headed out for their weekly date. She would have thought it was more adorable if she wasn't so worried about her own relationship.

She was a bundle of nerves as she walked up to the bar and in through the door. The place was packed and she could barely push her way into the room. She used her height (or lack their of) to make her way to the bar where she knew Will would be. There was no way she would be able to see over all these people to find Carmilla on her own.

“Hey Will!” She yelled to get his attention. She was standing on her toes, leaning as far over the bar as possible.

“Laura, hey.” Will looked around the room as he replied. He seemed a little hesitant to talk to her and immediately she wondered if Carmilla had told him what happened.

“Is Carm still here?”

Will sighed and leaned towards her a bit, “Look Laura, I’m not sure she’s ready to talk to you.”

Laura leaned back and stood flat, her shoulders dropping as a frown took over her face. “I just need to try, Will. Please.” She pleaded, trying to keep her emotions in check.

Will considered it a moment before nodding towards the stage and walking away to help a customer. Laura turned and saw her. The most beautiful girl in the room. _Who probably hated her._ Just as she caught sight of her, Carmilla turned and looked right at her.

Laura swallowed hard, feeling more nervous now than she had a minute ago. Carmilla’s expression was cold, hard, and completely shut off. She kept a straight face but her eyes gave her away. Even from across the room Laura could see the hurt and anger in them.

Forcing herself to stay there and not look away, she ignored the way her throat was tightening and her eyes were starting to sting. She didn't deserve to cry. Not right now. She didn't want to manipulate the situation because Carmilla felt bad for her. So she stood still, taking a deep breath, and kept herself from smiling or crying.

She wasn't sure what she expected to happen, but she didn't expect Carmilla to immediately go back to playing her music. Laura watched as a man came prancing back towards the bar to a group of men sitting right next to her.

“She’s got one more song for us guys!”

Laura watched them all smile and nod and take drinks as they settled into their seats. It finally connected who the guy was— He was the guy from the record label that wanted to sign Carmilla. _The label in New York_.

Her eyes shot back to the girl on the stage just in time to see her grab an electric guitar and hook it to the amp. Usually Carmilla went more for an acoustic sound, so this was going to be something new.

Laura licked her lips and watched closely as the raven haired girl approached the mic on the front of the stage. Carmilla looked like she was going to say something, then her eyes locked on Laura and its like she immediately changed her mind.

Carmilla took a deep breath, her eyes fixed on Laura, and strummed out the beginning chords, starting to sing along almost immediately.

[ _I never promised you a ray of light_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHA6Tp-DjM4)   
_I never promised there'd be sunshine every day_   
_I'll give you everything I have_   
_The good, the bad_

Laura felt her stomach drop immediately. Carmilla’s stare was intense as she ignored everyone else in the room. The band quickly picked up behind her, the room quieting to listen to the powerful music being played.

_Why do you put me on a pedestal?_   
_I'm so up high that I can't see the ground below_   
_So help me down you've got it wrong_   
_I don't belong there_

_One thing is clear I wear a halo_   
_I wear a halo when you look at me_   
_But standing from here_   
_You wouldn't say so_   
_You wouldn't say so if you were me_   
_And I, I just want to love you_   
_Oh I, I just want to love you_

Carmilla couldn't look away from Laura’s face. She could feel the energy building inside of her as she sang, the words echoing in her mind. _I just want to love you._ She didn't want to be angry, she didn't want what was happening to be reality, but it was.

Everything that had gotten in the way up to this point was finally breaking through the cracks. She couldn't live up to this idea of a person that Laura wanted her to be. It wasn't her. Carmilla had accepted that… now all she wanted was for Laura to see it too.

_I always said that I would make mistakes_   
_I'm only human and that's my saving grace_   
_I'll fall as hard as I try_   
_So don't be blinded_

_See me as I really am_   
_I have flaws and sometimes I even sin_   
_So pull me from that pedestal_   
_I don't belong there_

_One thing is clear I wear a halo_   
_I wear a halo when you look at me_   
_But standing from here_   
_You wouldn't say so_   
_You wouldn't say so if you were me_   
_And I, I just want to love you_   
_Oh I, I just want to love you_

Its like everything Laura had said to her father was being shoved right back in her face. She had asked so much of Carmilla, and it wasn't fair. She knew it, and the words coming through the microphone told her Carmilla knew it too. The chorus lingered in her mind. I just want to love you. Every time Carmilla sang that line, the look on her face changed. It was more pained than angry and it made it impossible for Laura to look away.

Like to think that you know me   
But in your eyes   
I am something above me   
That's only in your mind   
Only in your mind

I wear a, I wear a, I wear a Halo

One thing is clear   
I wear a halo   
I wear a halo when you look at me   
But standing from here   
You wouldn't say so   
You wouldn't say so if you were me   
And I, I just want to love you   
Oh I, I just want to love you

Carmilla finished off the song feeling completely exhausted. She knew she was supposed to be angry but she just felt drained at this point. The crowd in the bar went crazy with the ending of the song, causing her to look away from Laura for the first time since she started singing. She forced a smile and glanced at the group from the label who seemed to be happy with her performance.

She gave Theo a nod and pulled the guitar strap up and over her head. Setting it down in its stand, she made her way off the stage and to the bathroom as fast as she could.

Laura took a step towards the stage as Carmilla ran off of it and towards the bathroom. She was overwhelmed with this whole situation and wasn't sure what to do. She had rehearsed what she wanted to say to Carmilla over and over again, but now that the moment was here, she wasn't sure it was going to be enough.

“I’d hate to be the one that broke her heart.” Theo commented to one of the guys with him.

Laura looked over at him feeling guilty knowing he was talking about her without even knowing it.

“I cant wait to get her in the recording studio..” One of Theo’s colleagues said loudly over the crowd.

Laura’s stomach sank further. _She was losing her_. Was she really going to leave and go back to New York?

—

There were a few people standing at the sinks when Carmilla walked in. She took a heavy breath before walking over to the stalls and slamming the doors open one by one, checking to see if anyone was in them. The girls at the sink watched her curiously as she made her way down the row of stalls, until she turned and glared at them and pointed to the door. '

“Get out.” She said it firmly, but apparently not firmly enough. All she got were confused looks in response. “Get out!” She said it louder that time, stepping towards the girls still standing there, startling them enough to get them to start moving towards the door.

She followed them over, pushing them out of the bathroom and shutting the door behind them. Carmilla pressed her hands against the door, holding it shut, and let her head hang down.

She wasn't feeling the way she wanted to when she decided to sing that song. Carmilla thought it would help her feel better. Get her anger off her chest, prove something to Laura, anything. But all she felt was sad. And torn. Her heart still ached at the sight of Laura. But the anger she felt had wrapped around it like a weed trying to strangle it completely. She couldn't separate them, and they were both constantly fighting for control.

She walked over to the sink and turned on the cold water, filling her hands and splashing it on her face. She gripped the edge of the cold porcelain and slowly looked up at her reflection.

Her eyes were dark, it surprised her that she could see the anger in them as they stared back at her. The water left trails down her face as droplets rolled down her skin to fall from her jaw and chin. She almost felt like she wasn't looking at herself. It was a strange feeling, to feel disconnected from your own reflection.

The bathroom door started to creak open slowly and Carmilla let out a sigh, dropping her eyes to her hands. For a busy bar, she was surprised she had stayed alone in there as long as she had already.

“Hey.”

The voice was quiet, but unmistakably Laura’s. Carmilla glanced over expressionless before turning back to look at her hands gripping the sink.

Laura stepped in slowly, feeling more nervous realizing her and Carmilla were alone and it seemed Carmilla was still set on ignoring her existence.

“How are you these days?” Laura asked awkwardly. She could feel her palms starting to sweat and her heart sounding like it was thudding inside her head.

Carmilla didn't respond, or even do anything to acknowledge she had heard Laura, which only made her fidget with her hands more.

“Uh, because, you look great! All furious and brooding and- Say! Was that a new song?” She let out a breath, knowing she was doing this all wrong, feeling nearly paralyzed by how awkward she was being.

“What do you want, Laura?” Carmilla finally said something. She clenched her jaw as her knuckles turned white to match the porcelain underneath them.

Laura swallowed hard, watching the harshness of Carmilla’s body remain. She wasn't sure she should move any closer so she stayed just inside the door. “I know you’re furious.”

_Yeah ok, thats a good start._

Laura sighed, hoping she could get out what she needed to say without fumbling over her words, “I know that what I did was a betrayal, and maybe unforgivable, and that you’re probably going to have to hate me forever.”

Carmilla just kept staring at her hands so Laura took that as her sign to continue.

“And I know you dont want to listen to anything I have to say. So heres my pitch: Help me anyway.”

Carmilla sighed and shifted her weight slightly. Laura watched closely, she honestly wasn't expecting to get this far into her speech and didn't want to miss the chance to say everything she wanted so she kept going before Carmilla could say anything.

“And not because I’m all righteous and looking for you to redeem yourself, or just because it’s just something to do to ‘win the girl’— because if this whole mess has taught me anything it really is that i have no business trying to be righteous. Everything that i’ve ever done to uphold what I think is right has caused so much damage.” She could feel the tears forming behind her eyes as she took a shaky breath, “And I don’t want to do that anymore.”

Carmilla didn't miss the waver in Laura’s voice and instinctually glanced over at her. She immediately regretted it— but loving Laura made it automatic. She wanted to comfort her, to tell her it was okay. _But it wasn’t_.

It was too late not to look at her, and now that she had, she couldn't look away. She let go of the sink and stood up straight, turning to face Laura but keeping her posture stiff, her jaw clenched. She couldn't let Laura see how much it hurt her to see her hurting.

Laura’s eyes flickered, watching Carmilla closely, hoping for some sign that she was hearing the things she was saying, that she was understanding just how sorry she was. “And I hope that you know that I never meant for you to lose Mattie like that. Or your mom.”

Carmilla’s jaw loosened and her mouth twisted to the side slightly, her expression wasn't as cold, but remained stoic. She crossed her arms over her chest and shifted her weight onto one leg.

“So heres what I believe now: That the best thing that we can do is to help each other. And right now there are a whole host of people who need our help.” Laura’s mouth felt dry as she spoke.

Sure, she was trying to show Carmilla that they could fix this, that it wasn't hopeless. but she couldn't stop thinking about Kirsch, and Mel, Mattie and Carmilla’s mom and everyone that had been effected by all this. “And so it doesn't matter that it breaks my heart that you hate me. It doesn't matter that you’re going to have to hate me for as long as the earth is round because—“ She took a deep breath, willing the tears to subside, “right now, we can do something. We can stop that damage.” Laura finally ran out of words and just stood there watching Carmilla, waiting for a reaction. She rubbed her palms on her thighs nervously and shifted her weight.

Carmilla raised and eyebrow and shook her head, “You’re a lunatic.” she took a heavy breath and narrowed her eyes, her eyebrows coming together slightly, “I have spent this entire time proving to you over and over that I am nobody’s hero. And your answer to that is to double down and beg me to be one?”

“Yes.” Laura replied quickly. She wasn't sure if she was crazy or if it made sense but thats exactly what she was doing. She needed Carmilla’s help if she was going to be able to fix the mess she created.

“You’re insane.” Carmilla looked completely dumbfounded.

“Quite possibly.” Laura twisted her face like she knew Carmilla was right, but she was still asking for her help anyway.

Carmilla shook her head, rolled her eyes and turned to walk into one of the stalls. Laura was blocking the door to leave and she couldn't just stand there anymore. She couldn't believe what was happening.

Laura stepped towards her just as the stall door closed and locked. She pressed her hand on the door and desperately started talking again, “Have you ever considered that maybe ‘hero’ isn't one thing that one person was supposed to be by themselves? That maybe in this story you are my hero and I’m your hero. That maybe its all our responsibilities to be heroes for each other.”

“Or maybe this isn't a story, Laura.” Carmilla interrupted from inside the stall. She reached up and ran a hand through her hair roughly, “Maybe this is just life. Where there are no heroes. Where sometimes, the bad guy just wins. Full stop. The universe doesn't care whether you win or lose, you just do or don’t. Depending on whether or not you’re strong enough to survive.”

“Well, I say believing in your friends is a kind of strength.” Laura was losing her confidence. Maybe Carmilla was right. Maybe there was no hope. Maybe she was grasping as straws and hoping for something that would never happen.

“No. It really isn't.” Her voice was clear and harsh, like it was meant to cut and Laura couldn't understand how it had come to this.

“Okay.” Laura nodded to herself, “Okay then.”

Carmilla knew her final words were too harsh. She felt it as they came tumbling out of her mouth. She hadn't meant to say it, but the vines of anger were strangling her heart and taking over her entire body. How could Laura know she would be asking her to be someone she isn’t, and still ask? How did she not understand that Carmilla wasn't that person?

Carmilla sighed silently and pressed her forehead against the cold metal of the door.

“That is how it is. That is just- how it is.” Laura’s voice was barely a whisper as she took in everything that had been said over the last few minutes. She looked at the closed stall door in front of her and felt a tear roll down her cheek. Not wanting to let Carmilla see her cry she silently stepped back and over towards the door.

Carmilla clenched her jaw and stood up. She shook her head and rolled her eyes at herself. “Fine.” She unlocked the stall door and pulled it open, “Goddammit, what do you want me to do?”

She stepped out of the stall but didn't see Laura. Her eyebrows came together in confusion as she looked around the bathroom, “Laura?”

The bathroom door opened and sounds from the bar filled the tiled space as a few girls walked in talking and laughing. Carmilla looked out the door just as it was shutting and saw honey brown hair disappear into the crowd of people. She let out a sigh and looked back over to the mirror.

Staring at the stranger that was her own reflection, she got the overwhelming feeling that maybe she was mad at Laura for not knowing who she was, because she wasn't sure who she was herself.

So much had happened in such a short amount of time and she found herself doing things she wouldn't have thought she would. Some things she thought she did for Laura, some for her mother, some for Mattie and some for herself. But maybe the reasons she had done them were different than she thought.

She saw the anger disappear in her eyes as she thought about what Laura had said. _‘maybe in this story you are my hero and I’m your hero.’_ Maybe Laura was right. Maybe being a hero didn't mean what Carmilla thought it did. Maybe once she figure out who she was, that would be enough, she could still be Laura’s hero. And just maybe, Laura could save her and be her hero too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: yoitsmeecass (in case you want to say hey)


	24. Let me Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some things can be saved.. others might not..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Theres a song. its linked. but also-- Cut The Rope · Charlotte OC

**9:00am**

She didn't know why she was even here.

She knew she had already sighed a contract, and when she had set this up she was more than excited. But now. With everything going on, it just felt wrong. There were so many other things she should be doing. It felt selfish. It felt empty.

“Alright kid, you ready? You look like you’re going to throw up.” One of the producers voices came through the headphones covering Carmilla’s ears in the sound booth.

After hearing her set Friday night, they didn't waste time locking down the list of tracks they wanted to get started with. Carmilla was glad they liked her work, but it felt weird recording it. A lot of what they heard Friday night was her processing everything that was going on with Mattie, her mother and Laura. It felt extremely personal.

Not that all her music wasn't personal, but this stuff more so than usual.

“Yeah.” Carmilla swallowed down the nervousness that had been building inside of her, “Lets do this.” She nodded at the man behind the glass and got ready to start singing.

——

**9:20am**

“There’s nothing. Literally nothing. I’m going to lose my job. Thats it. I’m going to be jobless, girlfriend-less and— oh god. Without my girlfriend, I have no home.” Laura groaned and dropped her head onto the counter, “I’m going to be homeless.” Her voice was muffled as her face was buried in her arms and the stack of papers spread on the counter.

“Hey, Laura, stop.” Danny gave her shoulder a squeeze and scooted her stool closer, “We will find something.”

Laura looked up and Danny gave her a reassuring nod.

“I don't even know why are still helping me. If Vordenberg found out you would definitely lose your job.” Laura frowned, she was feeling guiltier by the minute for all the trouble she had caused.

Danny shrugged and looked down at the counter, letting her hand fall to her lap, “It would be worth it. I’m willing to accept whatever happens, as long as its for the right reasons.”

Danny glanced up and Laura gave her a small smile. They hadn't talked about what happened in the office the week before. Danny getting Mattie fired, everything that happened between Laura and Carmilla. It just hadn't gotten brought up. Laura knew Danny felt bad about it causing problems between her and Carmilla, but she also knew that Danny still believed what she did was right. That it had to be done.

Laura wasn't sure she would disagree. Mattie _had_ been growing on her- especially after the morning they shared with hot chocolate, pancakes, and the odd sister bonding Laura got to see. But as far as what was going on behind the scenes, she knew Mattie was willing to bend the rules to get what she wanted, and she wasn't sure if she could really trust her or not.

“Look, I think if I can rally enough employees to go to the board, we can convince them to do the same thing they did to Carmilla’s mother. Take Vordenberg out of his position of control. We may be able to save Kirsch’s and the other’s jobs. And who knows what that would do for Carmilla’s mother, if the judge sees Vordenberg is just as sketchy as she is.” Danny looked to Laura to see if she would accept the one idea they had been able to come up with over the last few days.

Laura considered it carefully, “It might work.”

“Its our best shot.” Danny countered. “And this way it will only come back to me.”

Laura’s posture deflated, “Please don't say that. I don't think I can stand destroying anyone else’s life.”

“You’re saying that because you're scared Mattie and Carmilla are right. That the better world we want is just this naive dream. But- that world is worth fighting for.” Danny sighed, not sure if she was getting through to Laura.

She knew after everything that happened, Laura was feeling guilty and quite frankly, losing hope. She hadn't quite realized how much Laura had depended on Carmilla during all of this. Even though they hadn't been getting along, it was like Carmilla’s stubbornness gave Laura that little extra push to keep fighting, too. Now that Carmilla had disappeared and seemed to have given up, Laura was losing hope too, and fast.

Danny hated to admit it, but Laura needed Carmilla. Just as much as she knew Carmilla needed Laura.

—

“Come on Will.” Laura was practically begging now, “I just need to talk to her and I dont know where she is and she wont answer her phone or text me back.”

Will sighed through the phone, “Laura, I want to help, but I don’t know what to tell you.”

“I know you know where she is.” Laura was pacing her kitchen now, ignoring the look of pity Danny was giving her from the couch.

“I promised I wouldnt—“

“Will! Just tell me!” Laura was beyond frustrated and she just knew if Carmilla knew what they were planning, the possibility of it helping her mom, that she would be on board and most likely be willing to help. She couldn't have given up completely.

“I’ll text you the address.” Will reluctantly agreed to help. He knew his sister would be furious, but he hated seeing things so messed up and knew Carmilla could be stubborn. If anyone could pull her out of this downward spiral, it would be Laura.

“Thanks, Will.” Laura sighed with relief, hanging up the phone and waiting for the text telling her where she could find Carmilla. She was running out of ideas quick and was worried this might be her last chance to start making things right. She hoped Carmilla would be willing to at least listen.

——

**10:30am**

“I don’t know about this one, Theo. No one was even supposed to hear it.” Carmilla shrank a little on the piano bench, facing the glass window that separated her from Theo and a few others.

“Thats probably what makes it so good. Come on, your band has already recorded the rest of the instrumental, all we need is the piano and your vocals and we have a hit.” Theo was definitely trying to get what he wanted, using his sweetest voice possible.

Carmilla sighed and ran a hand through her hair, turning to face the keys on the piano. Before her set Friday night she had been messing around on the piano while Will got ready to open the bar. It was before she had talked to Laura, before she had realized that maybe they needed each other after all, before she realized no matter what she did, she would always love Laura. It was a song written out of anger and frustration and hurt and desperation… and Theo had walked in just in time to hear it.

It wasn't meant to be heard. It was really only supposed to be a way for Carmilla to process what she was feeling. But he heard it. And loved it. And now he wanted it recorded and Carmilla wasn't sure she wanted to. The lyrics had meant something when she sang them— but she wasn't sure she meant them anymore. Laura’s speech, apology, whatever it had been had made her rethink a lot of things.

Reluctantly she set her fingers on the keys and took a breath.

“Ready when you are.” Theo spoke through the speaker and Carmilla wished he hadn't.

It was hard enough playing this song again without knowing she had an audience watching her every move. She played out a few notes, trying to fix her posture and let it just flow but it wasn't right. She could see the faces over the piano through the glass window and she just felt claustrophobic. Too many people watching. People that weren't meant to hear the song.

“I can’t.” She shook her head and dropped her hands to grab the piano bench on either side of her legs.

Theo looked around the room seeing the expectant faces before hitting the button to talk to Carmilla, “Whats wrong? The song is great—“

“Its not the song.” Carmilla cut off, shutting her eyes and dropping her head. She knew her music was supposed to make people feel something, which meant it would leave her exposed and vulnerable sometimes. But it was too soon, and it was so personal, she wasn't sure she could do it this time. She wasn't sure she could take the repercussion of what might happen if Laura heard it and knew it had been about her.

“Then what is is?” Theo asked, a little confused and just as impatient.

Carmilla sighed and looked up. “Its you.”

“What?” Theo and the rest of the room looked stunned.

“I can’t do it with all of you staring at me like some prized pony putting on a show.” Carmilla was trying not to sound hostile. She knew she wouldn't be able to get out of playing them the song. Her band had already recorded their instrumental parts, and hers was the last to be added. They wouldn't just let her not record it.

Theo looked at her for a second, considering the options, before turning to the rest of the people in the room. “Anyone that doesn't need to be here, get out.”

He was met with a few shocked looks before a few people started standing and leaving the sound booth. After everyone but Theo and one other person had left he looked back at Carmilla, “Better?”

Carmilla nodded but was still obviously uncomfortable.

Theo narrowed his eyes at her, “Alright Carmilla, the room is yours. We are going to set up to record and then it’ll just be you. So make it good.” The other person left in the room hit a few buttons and adjusted some setting on the sound board before standing up and walking out of the room, leaving just Theo and Carmilla, separated by a thin piece of glass.

Carmilla nodded at him, trying to express a thank you as best she could. Even though she was still a little uneasy about the song in general.

“Theo-“ She called out as he was walking towards the door. “Can you turn off the light?”

Theo nodded and flipped the switch, darkening the booth on the other side of the glass. Carmilla let out a sigh, it helped to feel alone. Just her in this small room, piano in front of her, no one watching or listening.

She started to hit the keys slowly, easing into the melody. She played the song out with just the piano once before taking a deep breath and starting over. She forced herself to even out her breathing so she could sing along this time.

—

 

**10:37am**

“Are you sure this is the right address?” Danny asked, glancing at the doors as they passed them walking down the hall.

“Yeah, this is where Will said she would be.” Laura rounded the corner and stopped abruptly, hopping back behind the wall, “That’s the music guy.” She whispered at Danny.

Danny looked around the corner before Laura grabbed her arm and pulled her back to hide behind the wall with her. “Why are we hiding, Hollis?” Danny asked in a hushed tone.

“I don’t know, I panicked.” Laura was still whispering. She glanced around the corner again and saw Theo walking down the hall in the opposite direction.

“Giver her some time, then we can come check on the progress.” Theo was talking to some other guy as they disappeared down the hallway.

“She must be in there.” Laura whispered, nodding to where the two men had just walked away from.

“So what are you waiting for?” Danny asked as she rolled her eyes. Sometimes Laura was just too much.

“Right.” Laura stood up tall and offered a quick nod, like she was trying to remind herself of what she was doing there in the first place. “I’ll be back.”

Laura made her way down the hall, stopping outside the door Theo had been standing in front of. Next to the door was a red light flashing ‘Recording in Progress’ that made her hesitate for a second. She set her hand on the handle and took a deep breath, willing herself to keep going. She had to try. One more time.

Laura pushed the door open silently and was surprised to find the room completely dark. She stepped in and shut the door quietly behind her before turning to look around the room. The room she was in was dark, but a window on the other side was letting enough light in for her to see where she was. She instantly noticed the quiet sound of a piano being played and took a few slow steps towards the window. Laura stopped dead in her tracks when she saw what was on the other side.

Carmilla was playing the piano. Laura watched her, taking in every expression that filled Carmilla’a face. Her eyebrows were knit together tightly, her eyes shut. She was shaking her head side to side extremely slowly and Laura couldn't tell if she was keeping the beat, or silently pleading with herself to stop playing the haunting tune.

Immediately Laura’s mind flashed back to the night they had been stuck in the bar. When Carmilla had played the piano with her sitting at her side. The emotions Carmilla had led her through just by playing different notes, different tempos, and different rhythms. It made her heart clench when she instantly recognized the emotion tied to what Carmilla was playing.

_Sadness._

Laura took another hesitant step forward, realizing now that with the lights off, Carmilla wouldn't be able to see her watching her. Once again, she halted as the piano was now being accompanied by Carmilla’s voice. Laura saw Carmilla’s expression shift to one that was closer to pain than anything else, her eyes clenching shut and a frown forming on her lips as the words came out roughly.

Her voice was low, not quite hollow, but aching. She didn't know a voice could express that quite so well. She felt her own frown start to form as she took in the words Carmilla was singing.

—

[ _It's too late, too late to be awake_ ](https://youtu.be/9vEzi3AAg3o)  
_It goes on and on with every breath I take_  
_Lies will grow and hearts will break_  
_It goes on and on with every breath I take_

Carmilla took a deep breath before really singing out the chorus. Hesitance to sing the song seemed to be fading with every word and every note that flowed from the piano. The feelings were real when she had written it, and it was obvious it was almost cathartic to belt it out.

 _Now I'm running in circles, I'm losing it all_  
_From something to nothing, do the right thing, let me fall_  
_You're pushing me sideways, but you won't let go_  
_And I know you're sorry but do the right thing_  
_Cut the rope and let me fall_

 _It's too late, too late to make mistakes_  
_Overload with all your mind games_  
_Time is slow to erase the pain_  
_But it goes on and on with every breath I take_

 _I'm running in circles, I'm losing it all_  
_From something to nothing, do the right thing, let me fall_  
_You're pushing me sideways but you won't let go_  
_And I know you're sorry but do the right thing_  
_Cut the rope and let me fall_

With the anger that had fueled her to walk out on Laura after Mattie had left, Carmilla didn't know what to do with herself or how to even process what was happening. Mattie was gone. Her mother had been arrested. Any hope she had of making things right had crumbled in front of her and the weight of guilt and panic was crushing her completely. That day she found herself at the bar, slamming out notes on the piano before she even registered how she had gotten there.

 _Roses to the flame_  
_My love always turns to blame_  
_And it's never enough, no, no, no, no_

 _I'm running in circles, I'm losing it all_  
_From something to nothing, do the right thing, let me fall_  
_You're pushing me sideways but you won't let go_  
_And I know you're sorry but do the right thing_  
_Cut the rope and let me fall_

She knew Laura hadn't meant for things to go that way. She knew she was sorry. But it didn't change what was happening. Carmilla felt like she was losing everything. Every time she thought she was making progress, the feeling of hope got ripped from her fingers. She was trying. _God, was she trying._

To be good for Laura. To save her mother. To be the person she thought everyone wanted her to be. And it was tearing her apart. Laura wanted her to be more. More than she was. But she couldn't be. And every time Laura saw that, they were pushed further from each other, but she was still clinging to the hope she would change in the end. At times it was comforting. Laura not letting her go. Other times- it was heartbreaking. Feeling like she was constantly disappointing the woman she loved.

CUT THE ROPE AND LET ME FALL  
CUT THE ROPE AND LET ME FALL  
CUT THE ROPE AND LET ME FALL  
CUT THE ROPE AND LET ME FALL

The song had been written in desperation. Fueled by sadness, anger, guilt, hopelessness and despair. It had calmed her in the moment, when the chaos in her mind was fresh. The hurricane of emotions being too much for her to handle.

_But now…_

Things were different. Hope wasn't completely lost. Laura still believed in her. The moment Laura admitted she had been wrong. Wrong to expect so much of Carmilla, and still believed she could be her hero, in her own way. That’s when things changed. She didn't want Laura to let her go. Let her fall. Carmilla wanted her to hang on with everything she had left, because she couldn't stand the thought of losing her.

Carmilla needed Laura. Laura had been her hero all along. Saving her from herself.

—

“Is that how you really feel?”

Carmilla's eyes opened wide at the sound of the voice echoing through the speaker. The other room was still dark so all she saw was her own reflection in the glass.

“Laura?” Her voice cracked without her permission as she stood up abruptly, nearly tripping over the piano bench in the process.

The lights behind the glass flipped on without warning, “Alright Karnstein, alone time is up—“ Theo stopped talking at the sight of Laura staring at Carmilla through the window.

With the lights now on, Laura replaced Carmilla’s reflection in the glass and her expression was unmistakably heart broken. _Of course it was._ Carmilla had just sang her heart out about losing everything and wanting Laura to just let her go. Let her fall into the darkness surrounding herself.

"No, Laura that's not—“ Carmilla started, panic clear in her voice. 

"I'm sorry, who are you?" Theo cut her off staring at Laura.

Carmilla looked over at him quickly, hoping he wouldn't make things worse. 

Laura puffed out a breath through her nose before dropping her gaze to the floor. "Nobody." She shook her head, "I'm nobody."

"Laura, wait." Carmilla started to head to the door of the booth she was in, tripping over instruments and her own feet in the process. 

"No!" Laura looked back up, her posture rigid.

Carmilla froze at the tone of Laura's voice, her eyes locking on the brunette's. 

"It's clear the way you feel." Laura started to feel the familiar prickling behind her eyes at the words about to come out of her mouth. "So have it your way. I'm letting you go."

"You don't mean that." Carmilla breathed out as a pain she had never experienced before filled her chest. 

Tension hung in the air as eyes were pleading in ways words couldn't. Carmilla didn't know how to say it- this isn't what she wanted. This was the furthest thing away from what she wanted. 

"Ookay.." Theo drew out as he looked between the two girls. "I think it's time you left." He stepped towards Laura, taking hold of her arm to guide her to the door. 

"Dont go." Carmilla called out. 

But her words weren't heard as Laura spoke over her to Theo at the same time. "I think you're right."

Carmilla watched through the glass as Laura disappeared into the hallway.  How fitting. A barrier standing between them. Hurt, anger and sorrow could all be seen through it-- but it couldn't be crossed. She couldn't reach out and touch her. Hold her. Offer her comfort. 

Once again something was wedged between them.  This time physically as well as something else. 

—

**10:50am**

“You know, I really thought Carmilla would change her mind and want to help us." Laura clenched her fists and pushed them hard into her thighs.

"You know what, who cares?" Danny spat back. “So carmilla isn't going to get off her lazy amoral butt. Thats old news. I say we dont need her.”

Laura looked over a little taken back at how angry Danny sounded, "so what do we do?"

"We save ourselves." Danny gripped the wheel tightly and sped up as they drove down the road. 

Laura wasn't sure how they were going to do that, but Danny looked determined. And it was nice to know she wasn't the only one trying to fix this mess. 

Even if she still wished Carmilla was the one next to her, instead. 

——

**1:35pm**

"Listen JP, just wait an hour and if you don't hear from me all you have to do is log in and hit send." Carmilla was trying to keep her patience but the computer genius on the other end of the phone was really testing her abilities. 

"Yes I understand but- I don't know how I feel about this. It won't just incriminate him, but you could get in trouble too." His voice was high pitched as he was clearly nervous about the task being given to him. 

"If you don't hear from me in an hour I'm already in trouble and it won't matter." Carmilla replied calmly. 

She hung up and shoved the phone in her pocket. Hoping it wouldn't come down to her back up plan in the end. She stuck her keys in the ignition and fired up the engine of her car. 

——

**1:40pm**

"You aren't going to get away with this." Danny's fists clenched at her sides as she stood in the office opposite Vordenberg. 

"My dear, I already have." Vordenberg replied with a mocking tone. He leaned forward and pressed a button the the keypad of the phone sitting on his desk. There was a beep that sounded before he began taking again, “Sally, please send up security to have Miss Lawrence escorted from the building. Also, draw up the paperwork required to record her termination of employment."

"You can't do that!" Laura stepped forward, blown away by how out of hand this was all getting. 

"Right away, Mr Vordenberg." A voice from the phones speaker broke through. 

"Miss Hollis, I'm disappointed by your involvement in all this. Especially after I spoke with your editor. I thought perhaps you would move on to better things. But alas, I guess you are not as smart as I had thought." Vordenberg sat down in his obnoxiously large chair and folded his hands on top of his desk. 

Just then the office door opened and a security guard stepped in. 

"Ah yes, please show Miss Lawrence out and make sure she doesn't bother us here again." He smiled smugly. 

Laura stood there in shock as Danny was led out of the room.  

"It's ok, Laura." Danny nodded at her, urging her to keep going without her. 

"How could you?" Laura turned back to Vordenberg, "do you even care about the lives you're ruining? And for what?"

Vordenberg chucked letting his head fall back slightly.  He had his evil laugh down perfectly and it made Laura's skin crawl. 

"My dear girl, you have to see the bigger picture." He smiled and leaned forward, "I'm building an empire! Sacrifices have to be made, it's part of life."

"An empire? Out of a failing company thanks to your own actions?" Laura retorted, slowly lowering herself into the chair across from Vordenberg.  She knew he liked talking, she just had to get him talking about the right thing. 

"Ah yes, Morgan Industries is falling just like the Roman Empire.  But the rise of Vordenberg Industries, will be magnificent."

"Is that why all the layoffs? Absorbing the smaller companies?" Laura scooted forward to the edge of her seat. 

"I knew you were smarter than you were acting. This has been the plan all along. With Lilita Morgan out of the way, I can do what should have been done in the beginning." Vordenberg couldn't help himself at this point, he had a captive audience and was feeling smug, so he kept talking.  "This company belongs to my family and after years of planning I've finally been able to make it happen!"

"What do you mean years—“

Offended at the confusion and doubt in Laura's voice, Vordenberg cut her off, "It isn't easy creating fake bread crumbs! Moving money around unnoticed while having someone else sign off on its placement." He chuckled, to himself mostly, "it requires a certain kind of cunning and brilliance." He smiled and adjusted his tie. 

"And that cunning and brilliance is yours?" Laura asked, her voice filled with disgust. 

"My dear girl, someone had to do it. I'm honored to have had the pleasure." He flashed his smug smile just as the security guard reappeared and stepped into the office. "Now miss Hollis, if you excuse me. I have an empire to build."

—

"JP slow down. What do you mean she went to the judge?" Laura was jogging across the parking lot to where Danny was waiting impatiently at her car. 

"Did it work?" Danny pushed herself off the car as Laura approached her.

Laura held up her hand to quiet the tall red head as she tried to hear what JP was saying on the other end of the phone. 

"She wouldn't tell me what she was doing but she's trying to save her mom- she gave me something to send to the judge if it doesn't work, but she could end up in jail too if I send it." JP sounded frantic, "I don't know what to do."

"Don't do anything." Laura stopped next to Danny and ran her hand through her hair after hanging up the phone. “Danny I’m so sorry. I didn't mean for you to lose your job and I just—“

“Laura, its ok. I meant what I said before. That’s its worth it. It’ll work out.” Danny nodded, “Ok?” Danny was offering the last shred of hope she had, knowing Laura needed it.

Laura just nodded slowly, trying to believe the words Danny was saying. “We have to find Carmilla.”

“What? Why?” Danny asked slightly confused.

“She’s probably about to do something really stupid.” Laura grumbled walking around to the other side of Danny’s car.

Danny opened the car door and was about to climb in when she noticed someone else climbing into a waiting car. “Laura, look.” She pointed to Vordenberg climbing into a black sedan just outside his office building.

“What do you want to bet he will lead us right to Carmilla?” Danny looked over at Laura, waiting for confirmation to follow him.

Laura nodded and climbed in the car. As they started following the car into the city all Laura could think was that she hoped it wasn't too late.

——

**2:55pm**

Honestly, it was all a blur. It felt like it was in slow motion but that it was all happening too quickly at the same time.

Carmilla had shown up at the court house where her mother was being held before a judge and barged into the room like only Carmilla could. She was determined to prove her mothers innocence and stop Vordenberg from taking away everything from her family, and Laura. She couldn't stand the thought of Laura losing everything she had worked for, over this.

Laura had followed Vordenberg there and showed up just as everything was going down. Danny had been following closely behind but her overzealousness had gotten her stopped by security just as they entered the building.

So there they were. Carmilla’s mother in handcuffs sitting at a desk across from the judge. Carmilla standing behind her with fists and jaw clenched. And Vordenberg, standing next to the desk, hands on top of his cane, a smug expression on his face.

Laura stood in the doorway, her mind racing. The concept of right and wrong starting to blur as she was being forced to make a choice she hoped she wouldn't have to.

“Miss Karnstein I suggest you control this outburst.” The judges voice was stern as he looked between mother and daughter.

Laura still wasn't sure what Carmilla was doing there- having arrived towards the end of whatever conversation was taking place. But Vordenberg seemed much too happy about what was happening.

“I assure you what I’m telling you is the truth. I have the security video to prove it.” Vordenberg shook his head at the dark haired girl, feigning disappointment.

“I’m afraid I have no choice but to have you taken into custody.” The judge looked like he hated what he was saying but had no choice.

Vordenberg glanced to Laura and frowned. “Miss Hollis? I’m sorry, I expected more angst from that.” Vordenberg cooed. “Let’s try it again— Carmilla Karnstein, will be joining her mother in police custody.”

“I heard you.” Laura spoke back firmly. The battle continued in her head. Whatever Carmilla had done, had gotten her into this position. The judge wouldn't agree to arrest her unless it was necessary- could she really argue with it?

“Wait, what?” Carmilla turned to look at Laura, shocked at her response to her fate. “You beg me to come and help you, and I do, even though you blew me off—“

“I blew you off?!” Laura’s eyes widened as her frustration started to grow “I wasn't the one that was all, ‘evil wins Laura. it just wins’” She deflated slightly, “well guess what? You didn't come, and it did. Danny lost her job. And now i will too, probably.”

“What?” Carmilla’s voice was quieter, considering everything Laura had just said. This entire situation was screwed up. Even after everything she had done to try to help. It was all just so screwed up.

Just then a police officer pushed his way past Laura and took hold of Carmillas wrists, bringing them behind her back. Carmilla clenched her jaw as handcuffs were tightened around her wrists and Vordenbergs smile grew.

“Everything is in place. After all these years, Vordenberg Industries is finally coming to life.” Vordenberg puffed up his chest and glared at Carmilla and her mother, “I bet you wish you hadn't stolen the company away from my family now.”

Carmilla glared back but didn't respond.

“Take her.” Vordenberg spat out angrily. He had hoped to get more of a rise from Carmilla and her mother, and their silent anger only fueled his hatred towards them.

Laura’s phone chimed as the police officer started to push past her guiding Carmilla to the door handcuffed. She glanced down at her phone but didn't even register the message illuminated on the screen. Suddenly all she could think about was what else she had on her phone.

“I cant let you do that.” Laura stepped forward blocking the officers path, surprising everyone in the room, no one more than Carmilla. She held out her phone in her hand and locked eyes with Vordenberg. “Unless you want our last conversation to be heard by everyone in this room.”

Vordenberg narrowed his eyes at her, understanding what it was she was referring to. “You wouldn’t. Because you and I are the same.” His voice had changed slightly, still smug, but a hint of nervousness as he tried to convince her to let fate continue the way it was going. “You believe, not in the harsh truth of the world, but in a beautiful story.” He stepped forward, dropping his voice quieter, “You cant destroy me, because that isn't what a heroine does. Not in the world you want to live in.

“And without me, the entire company would fall and even more people would be out of jobs, lives ruined— undoing everything that you and your friends have fought for. And for what? Them?” He gestured to Lilita and Carmilla.

Laura’s hand lowered slightly, thinking over the very real consequences of what revealing what she had would do to everyone else. Until she saw Vordenberg nod towards the officer and Carmilla was being pulled away.

Determinedly, she lifted her hand and hit a button on her phone, starting the recording she had taken earlier—

_‘It isn't easy creating fake bread crumbs! Moving money around unnoticed while having someone else sign off on its placement…. it requires a certain kind of cunning and brilliance.’_

_‘And that cunning and brilliance is yours?’_

_‘My dear girl, someone had to do it. I'm honored to have had the pleasure…. Now miss Hollis, if you excuse me. I have an empire to build.’_

Carmilla’s eyes had been watching Laura carefully during her exchange with Vordenberg, but her actions in that moment stunned her completely.

She was saving her.

“Oh shnicksnack.” Vordenberg muttered with wide eyes as he felt the Judges attention turn to him quickly.

Then the fastest slow-motion moment of Laura’s life began.

People were talking, yelling, arguing. Carmilla was being released from handcuffs, her mother was being ushered from the room quickly as more officers filled the room at the judges request. Vordenberg was now being taken away screaming profanities and nonsense, and Laura just found herself standing there. Unable to move as everything unfolded around her.

“oh my god.” Laura muttered. Her eyes were locked on a random pointing the room and her entire body was frozen.

“Laura?”

She could faintly hear Carmilla’s voice. She was so caught up in her own head she couldn't quite process it right.

“We should go.” Carmilla’s voice came again softly.

“Oh my god, what did I do?” Laura finally moved, dropping her stare to the ground, ignoring the commotion happening around her.

“Nothing you cant spend time regretting somewhere else, cupcake.” Carmilla reached out and offered Laura her hand.

Laura took hold of it automatically, surprising them both, before Carmilla pulled her from the room and out to the front of the building. Suddenly she was standing with Danny as Carmilla disappeared back into the building. Danny lead her to her car and helped her in the passenger seat- everything still foggy around the edges as she replayed everything that had happened.

——

**9:40pm**

 

“Ah, here you are.” Carmilla stepped out onto the roof and made her way over to Laura who was sitting near the ledge wrapped in a blanket.

She pressed her palms against the hard brick, leaning forward to look over the edge before turning around and leaning back against it next to Laura. She glanced over at Laura who hadn't moved or done anything to acknowledged she had even noticed Carmilla.

“I ran into Mrs Jensen in the hallway, and boy can that woman talk.” Carmilla’s eyes watched Laura carefully, “I feel bad for her cats. They have no escape.”

Laura still didn't move. Her eyes were locked on the city below them, a sad expression on her face.

“yeah… okay.” Carmilla sighed, realizing her current tactic of getting Laura to talk wasn't working, “Are you hungry?” She nudged Laura’s side with her arm gently, “I'm not sure when the last time we went grocery shopping is but I’m sure there is a stash of chocolate, or chocolate with bits of cookies in it, and chocolate with some kind of fudge like substance—“

“Stop.” Laura cut her off quietly, finally dropping her gaze towards the ground instead of out into the darkness of the night surrounding the city, “Please. Stop.”

“She speaks. I was beginning to worry you’d forgotten how.” Carmilla’s tone was gentle as she continued to watch Laura carefully. She knew the day had been a whirlwind of events, and since the courthouse, Laura hadn't said a word.

Carmilla handed her off to Danny only after the red head promised to bring her home safely, before running back into the building to act as her mothers legal council. After the recording of Vordenberg admitting to setting the whole thing up— everything had changed.

“I know what you’re trying to do. Its not going to work.” Laura frowned and kept her eyes trained on the ground.

“Come on. Do you think whatever deep dark you’ve got going on in there is enough to scare me off?” She nudged her arm again, trying to gain her attention. Wherever she was, stuck in her head, was obviously not good.

“I ruined him.” Laura breathed out quietly.

“Yeah, I’m not really complaining over here.” Carmilla replied casually.

“No. You don’t understand.” Suddenly Laura was near tears as she tried to put into words everything that had been weighing on her since that moment in the courthouse. “I fought so hard trying to fix this- we lost so much trying to save-” she stopped talking to swallow back a sob.

Carmilla felt her own chest tighten as Laura looked up at her, she looked completely broken. Tears were filling Laura’s eyes and Carmilla had to swallow down the lump that had formed in her throat at the sight of it.

“Your sister and danny, their jobs..” Laura hiccuped back her crying, looking away from Carmilla, “And then the moment came and I just— I burned that poor man to the ground and I didn't care.”

Her voice shifted, and the tears stopped. Its like she was describing someone completely separate from herself.

Carmilla’s eyebrows came together and her jaw clenched at Laura’s words. Once again she felt stuck in-between. Laura was right. They had lost a lot. Carmilla had every reason to still be angry with her but she found herself wanting to comfort the girl standing next to her instead.

“When I saw them taking you away- I didn't care- I just wanted to save you.” Laura took a deep breath, like saying it out loud was the last step in accepting what she had actually done. And why she did it.

Carmilla shifted slightly and as if out of habit, Laura shifted closer, pressing her side into the dark haired girl. Carmilla’s arm hesitantly wrapped around behind Laura’s back, her hand resting on the brick ledge behind them.

“And now everyone at Morgan Industries, who knows whats going to happen to them. I lost— I lost us everything. I feel like I lost myself.” How had it all turned into this? What started as a desire to expose the truth ended with her friends losing their jobs, Carmilla’s mother being arrested, the possible destruction of her relationship, and she had singlehanded ruined a mans life and sent him to jail.

Laura let out a shaky breath and looked into Carmilla’s eyes, searching for something, anything to make her feel better. What she found in them was concern, heartache, and what Laura hoped was love. Without giving herself the chance to think about it, Laura crumbled against Carmilla’s chest, wrapping her arms around her waist.

Carmilla’s arms immediately encircled Laura’s body, holding her tightly. A hand came up to brush gently through Laura’s hair as she hid her face further into Carmilla’s neck, willing herself not to cry again. After a few heavy breaths, Laura pulled back slightly, letting her hands drop to hold loosely to Carmilla’s waist as she locked eyes with her.

Carmilla reached up and tucked a few stray hairs behind Laura’s ear, her eyes scanning the girls face slowly as she offered her a sad smile. “You know, saving the world would be a whole lot easier if you could just remain innocent. If your conscience was always clear, and you never made mistakes.” She let her thumb brush against Laura’s cheek, “But a moment of forgetting to care isn't the same as a lifetime of apathy. ok?”

Laura let out a quick breath and looked down towards the ground, like she wasn't sure if she could believe what Carmilla was saying. She didn't feel like she deserved it.

“And yes, you— you made a mess.” Carmilla lowered herself, putting herself in Laura’s line of sight, “But Vordenberg, and mattie, and I- we all had- we all had a hand in this and you didn't do it alone.”

Laura finally looked up, making eye contact with Carmilla as she tucked some more hair behind Laura’s ear.

Laura watched as Carmilla smiled at her, a smile she had seen so many times before, a smile she hadn't seen her give anyone else and for a second it wasn't so hard to breath.

“I might not always like the choices you make, or the way things turned out, but I think it would be infinitely more tragic if you let it stop you from trying. If you let it turn you into me.” Carmilla's smile faded slightly. Seeing how broken Laura was, was breaking her heart, and she wasn't sure she could be the hero Laura needed right then. She wasn't sure she was enough.

Laura licked her lips before letting her hands drop from Carmilla’s waist. She rubbed her palms along the front of her thighs before gripping her blanket tighter around her shoulders and whispering, “Goodnight, Carm.”

Carmilla brought her own hands back down next to her, dropping her gaze to the ground before looking back up at Laura. She nodded slowly, “Goodnight, Laura.”

They looked at each other a moment, both feeling a heaviness lingering between them. Where did they go from here? Laura finally took a step back before slowly walking towards the door and disappearing into the stairwell, leaving Carmilla alone on the roof.

Carmilla sighed and turned to look back over the city, letting out a quiet groan as her phone started to ring. She was done dealing with people and just wanted a break. 

Reluctantly she pulled it from her pocket and looked at the caller ID before answering. 

“Hey, Theo." She shifted her weight on her feet as he started talking. 

"Carmilla! I shared the demo around here and everyone loved it! They can't wait to meet you when you get to New York tomorrow!"

She let out a sigh as she put her free hand into her pocket, letting her fingers grip around the flash drive she had been carrying around. She looked back over to the door where she last saw Laura, “Yeah. Me too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: yoitsmeecass (in case you want to say hey)


	25. Can I come home?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter.. can they figure it out or is it over?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Theres a song - Ellie Goulding - How long will i love you
> 
> Thank you so much for all the amazing comments and notes throughout this whole story.. it really has been so great writing it and hearing that you guys have enjoyed it too. So thank you!

Laura sat at her desk tapping her fingers on its surface as her leg bounced rapidly underneath it. Her editor had called her in early that morning but when she got there his office door was closed and she was told he was meeting with his bosses.  

"Oh crap." Had been the exact words that came out of Laura's mouth at that information. 

She was still trying to process everything that had happened the day before. What she did and why, what that meant for her and Carmilla, not knowing what was going to happen to everyone at the company and all her friends.  And to top it all off, she was pretty sure she was about to get fired. 

She stopped tapping her fingers on her desk and reached over towards the flash drive sitting next to her computer.  She had been holding it all morning, not sure what to do with it. 

Exhaustion won out over worry the night before and she had fallen asleep quickly after leaving the roof.  She slept deeply enough that she didn't notice Carmilla enter the apartment, pack a bag, and leave.  The only reason she knew Carmilla had been there was the flash drive she found on the counter that morning. Along with a note.  

She held the flash drive in her hands, turning it over slowly. She hadn't looked to see what was on it yet. She hadn't even dared to read the note. She wasn't sure she could. If it was Carmilla trying to make her feel better, she didn't think she deserved it. And if it was Carmilla ending things completely... Well, she didn't think she could survive that. Even though she already felt like she had lost her already.  

_"In a surprising turn of events,  Lilita Morgan, CEO of Morgan industries was released from custody yesterday and all charges against her were dropped..”_

Laura turned around in her chair so fast she nearly knocked herself over. The tv that stayed locked on the news in the office blared behind her and most everyone there was now turned to face it. 

_"Charges were dropped after evidence proving the scandal was a set up, designed for a disgruntled board member to take over the company…”_

"Oh my god." Laura muttered, paying close attention to the tv. 

_"Morgan industries has surprisingly bounced back in popularity overnight and continues to gain more support after this new evidence was released. The CEO has declined to talk to the press and left the courthouse yesterday unnoticed, but we have the companies PR Representative and spokes person, Matska Belmonde here to share some information regarding the situation."_

"Oh my god!" Laura stood up from her seat, eyes wide and still locked on the tv. 

Laura's phone started ringing and she reached down blindly to her desk to answer it. She put it to her ear but her attention was still on the tv.  "Hello?"

"Laura!" Danny's voice caught her attention immediately, "You're never going to guess what just happened."

"Danny?" Laura was caught between trying to listen to the tv and trying to listen to Danny on the phone. 

"I got my job back! We all did. Kirsch, Mel.."

"Hollis!" Her editor, Grant, was yelling from his office. 

Laura's attention was now being pulled three different ways.  The tv, Danny, and now her editor. 

She glanced towards Grants office and saw his face pressed up against the glass of his window that looked out into the pit. The blinds that had been shut for his meeting were spread widely, his head stuck between them.  His eyes were wide and he looked absolutely crazy. 

Laura's head tilted slightly at the sight, not understanding what he was doing or why he had called her name just to stare at her through the glass like a mad man.

"Laura..?" Danny's voice echoed in her ear. 

Grants eyes grew wider and his face seemed to be trying to press straight through the glass. 

Mattie's voice was coming through speakers of the tv. 

Then one more sound filled Laura's head and instantly everything else was silent. 

The click of heels approaching her pulled her attention away from Grant, Danny and the TV.

"I'll call you back, Danny." She spoke hurriedly before hanging up and turning toward the sound now matching her quickening heart rate. 

"Miss Hollis." 

It wasn't a question. That was one thing Laura had always noticed about the way Carmilla's mother spoke. It was never a request, never a question. Always an order, a demand. Like she knew she held the power, and even if she didn't, she sure did make it seem like she did. 

"Yes?" Laura's voice squeaked and she shut her eyes tightly for a second, embarrassed at how easily this woman made her nervous. 

Lilita clasped her hands in front of herself calmly. "I wanted to thank you."

"You what?" Laura blurted out before thinking.

Lilita raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed by Laura's flustered state. "Even though this mess began with you, I understand you played a role in resolving it."

Laura's eyes went wide but she was smarter this time and stayed silent. 

"I'm here to offer you an interview." She looked over Laura's shoulder at Grant shoved up against the window and frowned slightly. 

Laura turned to look at Grant and shot him a stern look, causing him to slowly lower himself below the window awkwardly. Laura turned back to Carmilla’s mother, shaking her head with how awkward this whole thing was becoming. 

"I thought you weren't talking to the press?" Laura asked, genuinely surprised by the offer. 

"I'm not." Lilita pressed her lips together tightly, eyeing the girl up and down, "I'm talking to you."

Laura's shocked expression switched to one of confusion. She knew she should be grateful for the offer but it sounded a lot like an insult at the same time.

"I don't understand." She glanced back at the tv then back to Carmilla's mother, "I thought Mattie was..." Confusion mixed with guilt stopped her from finishing her sentence. 

Carmilla's mother looked surprised at the emotions Laura was showing on the situation, "I simply called her employers and informed them if she wasn't the one to handle this I would go somewhere else." She sighed like she was bored, as if intimidating others was a common thing for her. "Of course she turned them down when then asked her to come back, until they offered her a substantial raise." She smile amusedly and adjusted her clothes slightly, "I always did like her."

"And Danny and the others?" Laura asked slowly. 

"Miss Hollis, these questions would be better answered if you talk to Carmilla. I was simply doing what she asked." She let out another bored sigh. "I assume you'd like to do the interview? It's an offer I won't repeat."

"She'll do it!" Grants voice boomed across the room as his head poked around the corner of his office doorway.

Laura turned around to look at him before turning back to Lilita. 

Lilita didn't waste time waiting for a response from Laura, "Someone will be in touch to set it up." And with that she turned and walked away. 

Laura stood there stunned. _What the hell was going on?_  Mattie was back, Danny and everyone had their jobs back, Carmilla's mother was offering her an interview of a lifetime and it was all thanks to Carmilla?

"HOLLIS!!" Grants voice interrupted her thoughts and made her jump and turn around quickly. 

"What?!" She yelled back. 

Grant look surprised by Laura's reaction and dropped his glare slightly. 

"Sorry!" She winced at the fact that she had just yelled at her editor, "I have to, I need to just-" she looked around her desk, feeling like she needed to do something but not sure what. 

"Don't mess this up!" Grant called to her before shutting his office door, obviously aware of the fact that Laura was all over the place at the moment. 

Laura nodded but was still looking around- until she saw the flash drive and note on her desk. Right away she knew that's what she was looking for. She grabbed it, her bag and phone and rushed out of the office.   _She had to find Carmilla._

—

5 unanswered calls to Carmilla later, Laura was rushing into their apartment building. 

"Hey L!" Laf called out to her from their doorway.

"Hey! Have you seen Carmilla?" She asked quickly, still heading for the elevator. 

"Well I know she was getting ready to leave a bit ago, but she still might be upstairs." Laf shrugged their shoulders. 

Laura pressed the button to call the elevator and turned back around to face them, "She hasn't been staying at home and she won't answer her phone so I don't know where to look. I just really need to find her."

"Well.." Lafontaine started nervously. "She's been staying in your old apartment."

"What?!" Laura's eyes went wide and she walked over to Laf, completely ignoring the elevator that had just arrived, "I thought you said you rented it out to someone!"

"Yeah, well, the thing is.." Laf rubbed the back of their neck, "I lied."

"Laf!" 

"I'm sorry!" They held up their hands in front of them defensively, "You know Perry. Sometimes it's like she gets possessed and just goes into mother mode. She just wanted to see you guys work it out. We both did." They dropped their hands and shrugged. “And Carmilla said she didn't want to be far from home. So we figured it would be ok to let her stay there for a bit.”

Laura sighed, "it's ok, I get it."

"So are you here to see her off then?" Laf asked casually, leaning back against their door. 

"What do you mean?" Laura asked, genuinely confused. 

"New York. I though she might be gone by now since she's supposed to be there by tonight?" 

Laura's eyes went wide, "She's going to New York?"

Laf’s eyebrows came together finally realizing Laura didn't know. They just nodded slowly, watching Laura's face shift through a range of emotions. 

Surprise, anger, confusion, worry...

Why hadn't Carmilla said anything? Without another word Laura turned around and ran towards the elevator. It couldn't be too late. _Could it?_

She watched as the lights above the door of the elevator showed the it was going up, not down to where she was. Not wanting to wait she ran over to the stairwell and started running up to her floor. 

She ran out into the hallway and down towards her apartment door.  She slowed down as soon as she saw the small duffel bag sitting in the hallway between her old apartment door, and the apartment she now shared with Carmilla.

  Remembering what Laf said about Carmilla staying in her old apartment, she chose that door and ran inside, hoping to find her. 

The apartment was mostly empty, just like she had left it. There was an air mattress sitting on the floor in the living room, a few blankets folded on top of it, along with Laura's yellow pillow.  Laura smiled and shook her head. _She had been looking for that._ Quickly remembering the task at hand, she ran into the bedroom. Empty.  She checked the bathroom to find it was also empty. She wasn't there. That meant she had to be across the hall.  

Moving quickly, Laura made her way out of the apartment and across the hall. She threw the door open and stepped inside before realizing the bag that was sitting in the hallway before, was now gone. 

She ran back out into the hallway and saw Carmilla stepping into the elevator, bag in hand, headphones in her ears and head tilted down towards the ground.

 _It was now or never_.

Laura ran towards the elevator, and stepped inside just before the doors closed behind her. Carmilla looked up completely shocked at the sight of Laura, out of breath, staring at her.

“You’re going to New York?!” Laura was practically yelling at her, “Why didn't you say anything?”

Carmilla’s lips twitched up slightly into the hint of a smile and she tugged her headphones out of her ears.

Laura felt herself get more frustrated at Carmilla’s calm attitude and turned around and pulled out the ‘Emergency Stop’ lever of the elevator, causing it to jolt to a stop between floors. Carmilla put her hand out against the wall to steady herself as the elevator shook slightly at the abrupt stop.

“This isn't funny.” Laura huffed, turning back around to face Carmilla. “You cant just disappear like that, its not fair. Everything was a mess yesterday and then today— I don't even know what happened but suddenly Mattie has her job back, and so does Danny and the others and your mother comes to see me to offer an exclusive interview and I’m not fired—“ She sucked in a deep breath, having depleted the air that had been in her lungs, “And then you are just leaving to go across the country and all you leave me is a note and this, this thing!” She holds up the folded paper and flash drive.

Carmilla’s smile grew slightly and she raised an eyebrow watching Laura’s face get redder the more she ranted.

“And its not fair.” Laura continued, dropping her hands back down to her sides, “If you’re going to break up with me then you cant do it through a note! You have to do it to my face because- because  _I love you_ and I can't just let you go that easily.”

“Are you angrily telling me that you love me?” Carmilla smirked at Laura.

“I didnt- thats..” Laura didn't seem to realize she had let that slip and her cheeks turned slightly pink as she tried to maintain the glare on her face. “Thats besides the point.”

Carmilla set her bag down on the floor, “Did you even read it, cupcake?” She asked more calmly than Laura was expecting.

Laura bunched up her face and shook her head, “Well, no.”

Carmilla shook her head and smiled, “Read it.”

Laura’s eyebrows pushed together as she watched Carmilla. She was being super casual for breaking up with her and moving across the country. It was weird, even for Carmilla.

Carmilla pulled her ipod out of her pocket and started to scroll through it. “Read it.” She repeated without looking up.

Laura watched her for a few more seconds before letting out a sigh and unfolding the paper in her hands and reading it.

_Laura,_

_I know I've never been good with the whole, feelings thing. But I needed to tell you how I felt and this is the only way I knew how._  
_Even if you didn't know it, you've always been my hero._  
_From the moment I met you. You saved me._

 _Always,_  
_Carm_

Laura’s face immediately relaxed. _She wasn't breaking up with her?_ Laura read the note again before dropping the paper down and looking at Carmilla.

Carmilla was smiling and holding out her headphones towards Laura. “I’m guessing that since you didn't read the note, you didn't listen to the song on the flash drive either?”

Laura bit her lip and shook her head slowly, slightly embarrassed she had jumped to conclusions and assumed the worst. She reached out and took hold of the headphones in Carmilla’s hand. She stuck them in her ears and looked up at Carmilla through her eyelashes as she pressed play on her ipod.

——

_**The day before** _

_**10:44am** _

_"Dont go." Carmilla called out._

_But her words weren't heard as Laura spoke over her to Theo at the same time. "I think you're right."_

_Carmilla watched through the glass as Laura disappeared into the hallway._

_Theo turned back to Carmilla once Laura had left the room and rubbed his hands together, "Alright let's hear what you got." He went to play the recording when Carmilla spoke up._

_"Don't." She said flatly._

_Theo paused and glanced back up at her, "Why not?"_

_"It's not the song you want." She said calmly._

_The lack of emotion on her face and in her voice surprised Theo and he stood up and looked at her curiously._

_"Delete it." Carmilla turned back to the piano and brushed her fingers along its dark surface._

_"Carmilla, I can't just delete-"_

_"Delete it." Carmilla said more firmly. "I'll give you a new one. You just- you can't use that one. Or I'm out."_

_Carmilla sat down on the bench and gripped the hard wood on either side of her thighs. She closed her eyes and bowed her head slightly, taking in a deep breath. So many times she had messed up the words. Relying on something else to tell Laura how she felt. This time she needed to say it. In every way she could. Laura had to know how she really felt._

_Her hands lifted and settled into the piano keys gently. Theo immediately saw the shift in Carmilla's demeanor and started recording, not wanting to miss a single note of what was about to happen._

_Carmilla's eyes closed and her lips twitched up into a small smile. Her shoulders relaxed and her fingers started to move._

_Her mind started to fill with memories; the moment she knew she loved Laura. The times she couldn't help but smile, the little things Laura did that made her heart so full of a joy she didn't think was possible._

_It was easy. Falling in love with Laura. Her stubbornness, her ability to see the best in people, to always believe in a better world no matter how dark things got. The way she smiled and a warmth filled your entire being._

_Carmilla thought back to the night they met. Locking eyes with her and knowing right away she was going to change her life.  To the night they got stuck in the elevator and Carmilla felt her heart betray her. She no longer owned it. Laura did._

_As she played out her feelings, the fractured compass inside her chest started to piece together. The cracks she never thought would heal in her heart starting to fit back together. Laura was home. She always had been._

_Words came easy and a melody flowed from her fingers effortlessly. The words she had always had a hard time forming were now the only words she knew. Without a doubt her heart and her head were finally in the same place._

_She didn't care if it was enough. It's all she had to give.  So she gave it all, her fingers moving along porcelain keys, smile on her lips, and Laura filling every corner of her mind and heart._

——

Carmilla pressed play on the iPod and watched Laura carefully.

 _[How long will I love you?](http://youtu.be/BxHIEcfSw9Q)_  
_As long as stars are above you_  
_And longer, if I can._

 _How long will I need you?_  
_As long as the seasons need to_  
_Follow their plan._

Laura’s eyes immediately looked up into Carmilla’s. Her breath caught at the simple melody and completely honest words. Laura’s face slowly started to relax and all she could do was just stare at Carmilla as the song continued.

 _How long will I be with you?_  
_As long as the sea is bound to_  
_Wash upon the sand._

 _How long will I want you?_  
_As long as you want me to_  
_And longer by far._

 _How long will I hold you?_  
_As long as your father told you,_  
_As long as you can._

Carmilla watched Laura as she listened, her smile small, but there. Her eyes soft as she kept them locked on the brunette. She had never been so nervous in her life, but she kept holding to the fact that she loved Laura more than anything, and no matter what happened, she wanted Laura to know that.

 _How long will I give to you?_  
_As long as I live through you_  
_However long you say._

 _How long will I love you?_  
_As long as stars are above you_  
_And longer, if I may._

_How long will I love you?  
_ _As long as stars are above you_

The song ended, fading out slowly and Laura let out a slow breath to match. Her eyes dropped to the ground and a hand came up, her fingers pressing against her lips. She felt her lower lip start to tremble and her eyes start to sting with the tears building in them.

She slowly pulled the earphones from her ears and sniffled quietly, still avoiding eye contact with Carmilla, “Why are you leaving then?”

Carmilla stepped forward, reaching up to tuck Laura’s hair behind her ears and out of the way. She gently let her hands rest on either side of her face, and tilted her head up, forcing her to look at her.

Carmilla smiled and ran her thumb along Laura’s cheekbone before breathing out her name, “Laura.”

 _Laura._ She said it so reverently, like it was the most precious word she could ever utter.

Laura leaned into the touch with a sad sigh, closing her eyes, causing a single tear to fall.

Carmilla leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Laura’s cheek, her lips catching the tear that had been leaving a trail down her skin.

Laura opened her eyes, her eyebrows twitching together slightly, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth in an effort to stop its trembling.

It couldn't end like this. _It just couldn’t._

“How can you write something so beautiful, so—“ She breathed out a shaky breath, “and then leave?”

Carmilla’s eyes remained soft as she patiently watched Laura, their faces only inches away from each other. Her smile grew and her thumb brushed along Laura’s jaw gently.

Laura took a deep breath and let it out slowly, finally calming herself enough to be able to hear Carmilla if she ever decided to say anything.

Seeing the smaller girl calm down slightly, Carmilla let her hands drop back down to her sides and she took a small step back.

“Its only for a night.” Carmilla smiled.

“What?” Laura didn't know how to react to that statement.

Carmilla nodded, “I didn't say anything because, well, I didn't think you wanted to talk to me. And I was only going to be gone for a night.” Carmilla gave Laura a second to process before continuing. “I told them I couldn't leave LA. I couldn't leave you.”

Laura just kept her eyes on Carmilla as she continued to explain.

“They agreed to make that happen as long as I would agree to a signing party in New York so the rest of the label could meet me.” She reached out a hand hesitantly and took hold of one of Laura’s.

“So you aren't leaving?” Laura asked quietly.

Carmilla just shook her head, a soft smile playing at her lips as she played with Laura’s fingers.

“And you aren't breaking up with me?” Laura took a small step forward.

Carmilla just shook her head again, her eyes dropping to the ground for a second, her expression shifting as she thought over something she wanted to say.

Laura picked up on the hesitance and quietly asked, “What is it?”

Carmilla looked up, this time it was her that looked nervous as she bit her own lip, trying to decide how to say what she was thinking.

“Laura?”

_Laura._

“I know theres a lot..” She paused, thinking over the right words, “I was just-“

Laura gave her a small smile, gripping her hand tightly, trying to let her know it was okay. She knew Carmilla was never the greatest with words, and after the song she just wrote for her, just the fact that she was still trying meant the world to her.

“When I get back, I’d really like to come home.” Carmilla finally breathed out quietly, nervousness filling her eyes.

Laura sighed, partly relieved thats what Carmilla wanted, and partly sad that she felt she had to ask.

“Carm, it was your apartment to begin with, of course you can—“

“No.” Carmilla cut her off, shaking her head. She gripped Laura’s hand tighter and started to lift it, turning it slightly and pressing Laura’s palm against her own chest, Carmilla’s hand firmly on top of it.

Laura felt her own heart beat strongly against her palm and looked at Carmilla curiously. She didn't understand.

Carmilla smiled. “This.” She nodded slowly, “This is home.”

Laura couldn't help the smile that started to grow on her lips. Only Carmilla could express so much, so strongly, with so few words.

Laura just nodded quickly, feeling her eyes start to water again, but this time for a different reason. She pulled her lip between her teeth before letting out a quiet giggle that made Carmilla smile wide, letting out a chuckle of her own.

Laura surged forward, connecting their lips, causing Carmilla to stumble back slightly. The kiss broke quickly, neither of them being able to contain their smiles.

“I love you.” Laura whispered, bringing her forehead against Carmilla’s.

Carmilla pulled back so she could look at Laura, her fingers tangled in her hair. “I love _you_.”

Laura smiled and leaned in again, feeling her heart flutter and her whole body heat up at the feel of Carmilla’s lips against her own.

They ignored the sounds of their phones, sure it was Perry calling to yell at them for what they were doing in the stalled elevator. They were happy to stand there in each others arms, breathing each other in and making up for lost time.

Pulling away to catch her breath, Laura chuckled and licked her lips, “You’re going to miss your flight.”

Carmilla’s eyebrow raised as a smirk spread across her face. She wrapped her arms further around Laura’s back, pulling her in tightly against her and placing a few kisses along her neck as she mumbled against her skin, “I’m not a fan of flying anyway.”

She ended up missing her flight. And the next one. But she didn't care.

Things weren't perfect, but for the first time, they were both okay with it. And as long as they had each other, they could figure it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: yoitsmeecass (in case you want to say hey)


	26. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue... Because Bshell09 asked for it... "Sometimes I just really like when stories go past the point of when we sigh that it's all going to be ok and show an actual healthy relationship... one day, I'd just like to read yay, they made pancakes and life is still ok.. "
> 
> Here are your metaphorical pancakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again so so much for all the sweet comments and notes you've given me! It really does make me happy :)  
> I've had people ask if I'll continue this story later and I honestly don't know. But I am in denial about the season being over, so you may see another fic of mine pop up. so you can watch for that.. (just in case you want to keep being wonderful and saying nice things to me)

**Epilogue**

**Christmas Eve**

**4:00pm**

“Carm, you cant just—“

There was a crash of the christmas tree falling onto its side and a roar of laughter that followed.

Laura sighed but couldn't help but smile as Carmilla poked her head out from under the tree branches with a scowl. The tree was now covering her entire body as she lay on her back on the floor.

"Nice going." Danny said between laughter as Perry immediately shot off the couch, arms out, ready to rescue the grumbling girl stuck under a pile of Christmas cheer. 

"Like you could do better, sasquatch!" Carmilla growled at Danny as a tree branch lodged itself in her wild hair. 

Mattie laughed and stood up from her spot on the couch and walked over to the kitchen where Laura was standing. She took hold of the open champaign bottle and refilled her glass.

“I never thought I’d see the day where Carmilla actually enjoyed Christmas.” Mattie took a sip of her drink and turned to look at Carmilla. She set the glass down and smiled watching Carmilla fumbling to get out from under the tree with Lafontaine and Perry doing a poor job of helping her. 

Mattie turned back to Laura and offered her a small smile, “She was right about you, you know.”

Laura grabbed a stack of plates from the cupboard and set them on the counter, “What do you mean?”

“You’re stronger than I gave you credit for.” Mattie gave Laura a slight smile before turning back to look at Carmilla now standing the tree upright with the help of Danny and Kirsch while Perry plucked pine needles from dark hair. 

Laura smiled and looked over at Carmilla who had just glanced over at the pair at the counter, giving them a look of utter discomfort at the amount of bonding taking place so close to her. 

“She loves you.” Mattie spoke softly, eyes still watching her little sister, “More than she’s ever loved anyone, I think.” She turned back to Laura, a soft expression in her eyes.

Laura didn't have siblings, but she could tell this was Mattie’s sisterly love making an appearance. It was a silent plea asking Laura not to break her heart.

“I love her, too.” Laura smiled back at Mattie.  Her and Mattie sure had come a long way in the last month.

"What are you two whispering about?" Carmilla wrapped her arms around Laura's waist from behind and pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek before dropping her chin to rest in her shoulder. 

"You." Laura smiled at Mattie before leaning her head towards Carmilla's.

"Why am I not surprised?" Carmilla rolled her eyes and gave Laura's sides a squeeze causing the girl to giggle and squirm a bit. 

"Ugh." Mattie rolled her eyes but couldn't hide her smile, "you two are disgustingly adorable."

Carmilla chuckled and gave Laura another kiss on the cheek before wiggling her eyebrows at Mattie.

The apartment door swung open abruptly and a tall stalky man walked in, “Look who I found in the hallway!” Laura’s dad smiled wide at his daughter before pulling in a woman, his arm wrapped around her shoulder tightly.

“Mother?” Carmilla’s eyes went wide, her smile dropping with pure shock at the sight.

This big bearded man, head to toe in denim and plaid, boisterous voice and even louder laugh was tugging her prim and proper mother into the room in a half bear hug.

“oh my god, dad.” Laura’s face shifted to show a slight panic, not knowing how this was going to play out.

Lilita Morgan and her father were the polar opposites of each other. The possibility of this going very badly was a good one.

All eyes on the apartment shifted to the doorway. Everyones faces looked the same. Jaws dropped, eyes wide, just waiting in pure anticipation to see what was going to happen next.

Lilita looked extremely uncomfortable, her side pressed tightly to Laura’s dads. She forced a tight lipped smile as she awkwardly lifted her hands in front of her to show the dish she was holding, “I brought rolls?"

——

**5:45pm**

A few bottles of champagne in and everyone was feeling pretty great. Even Lilita was smiling. 

They had spent the last hour hanging stockings, wreaths and putting ornaments and lights on the tree that was now standing upright. Surprisingly, thanks to Kirsch.  

Perry had organized the gifts underneath it by size. Then by wrapping color. Then by who the gift was for.  It was right around that point that Laf pulled her away to help with the pies. 

Will and Kirsch were taking turns trying to beat Laura's dad in arm wrestling. Not surprisingly, they lost every single time. 

After a couple mumbled apologies and wary looks, Danny and Mattie were at least tolerating each others presence. 

 _"It is Christmas, after all."_  Laura's pout had seemed to win them over in the end.   But what Laura didn't see was Carmilla glaring at both of them, clearly telling them to get along, or else. 

So they sucked it up and were setting the table together while Laura, Perry and Laf shuffled around each other in the kitchen getting the last of the food ready.

"I'm glad you came." Carmilla stepped up next to her mother who was hovering by the tree alone, watching everyone else in the apartment. 

Lilita brought her champagne glass to her lips and took a sip as she gave a slight nod.

Carmilla watched her from the corner of her eye. This was definitely new. She couldn't remember the last time they had spent Christmas together- or any kind of pleasant moment for that matter. When it seemed her mother wasn't going to say anything, Carmilla let out a quiet sigh and went to walk away, not sure what else to do. Maybe just the fact that she actually showed up was good enough this time. Baby steps, right?

"Carmilla." 

Carmilla stopped and turned back to her mother. Her voice had sounded softer than usual. Not the usual firmness, or demanding tone. 

"Hmm?" She hummed in response, stepping back into the space next to her. 

Lilita looked like she was struggling to find the right words a moment before she finally spoke with a small smile. "Merry Christmas."

Carmilla smiled, knowing even though it was only two words, there was more behind it than that. "Merry Christmas." 

Carmilla smiled back at her before deciding to do something that neither one was used to. She wrapped her arm around her mother and pulled her in for a hug.

——

**7:40pm**

“I think it looks lovely!” Perry smiled wide and clapped her hands together excitedly in front of her.

Carmilla glared at the rest of the group trying to hold back their laughter as Laura tugged on the bottom of her sweater. Bright red with a picture of Grumpy Cat wearing a santa hat stitched onto it. It had been Perry’s gift to her and as much as she hated it, she didn't have the heart to tell Perry that.

“That looks like all of them, bros.” Kirsch was sitting the ground, searching under the tree for any more gifts for their gift exchange.

“Oh wait!” Laura jumped up off the couch next to Carmilla and ran into the bedroom. She came back holding a small box with a red ribbon tied around it in her hands, “We have one more.”

They had all been sitting in the living room together after dinner, passing around gifts, some more for laughs than anything else. At this point everyone had received a gift, except Carmilla’s mother. She didn't seem to mind, as she sat further back and out of the general circle of everyone gathered. She seemed fairly content to just watch what was happening without actually having to interact.

Her face shifted to one of surprise as Laura walked up to her and held out the box towards her. All eyes were on her as she took hold of the box and rotated it in her hand curiously.

Laura went back to the couch and sat down next to Carmilla, leaning into her side and placing her hand on her thigh. Carmilla looked over at her curiously, not knowing what the gift was or where it had come from.

“Go ahead.” Laura smiled wide at Lilita who looked like she hadn't ever received a gift before and didn't quite know what to do with it.

Slowly Carmilla’s mother pulled the bow off the small box and opened it up. Inside the box was a necklace. It had a golden chain with a ruby surrounded by a golden encasing at the end of it. Lilita pulled it from the box and held it up in front of her.

“That is simply beautiful.” Mattie commented, leaning forward in her seat slightly to look at it better.

There were a few more ‘oohs’ and ‘aaahhs’ but Laura was really only trying to figure out what Carmilla’s mom was thinking.

“I saw it at an antique store and thought it would look nice on you.” She shrugged one of her shoulders nervously, “I mean its elegant and beautiful and I hadn't seen anything like it before—“ She felt Carmilla’s hand rest on her thigh and decided to stop talking.

“Its lovely.” Lilita looked at Laura, actually giving her a smile, “Thank you.”

“Here Mom, let me help you.” Will pushed himself up from his spot on the floor and made his way over to Lilita, taking hold of the necklace and helping clasp it around her neck.

While Will was putting on the necklace, Carmilla gave Laura’s leg a squeeze and leaned over to whisper “thank you” in her ear. Laura just smiled and turned to give Carmilla a kiss on the cheek before sharing a silent moment with her while everyone else started chatting again.

As soon as Will had clasped the necklace around her neck Lilita glanced over towards Laura and Carmilla and saw the exchange of the whisper and tender kiss. She watched the pair for a moment and realized that not too long ago, the scene in front of her would have made her feel slightly uneasy. But sitting there in her daughters home, she realized what she as feeling wasn't uneasiness, but regret.

The simple tenderness being shown between Laura and Carmilla made her realize that somewhere along the way, she had lost the tenderness she once had. She had pushed away her own children, and watching them that night with their friends, _their family_ , made her realize she needed to change.

Laura stood up and headed to the kitchen alone as a round of Christmas Carols started, with Laf leading them quite enthusiastically. She started cutting pieces of pie when she felt a hand tap her shoulder. Turning around she was surprised to see Lilita standing with her in the kitchen.

“Oh!” Laura looked around the counter before setting down her pie server and wiping her hands on a towel, “Is everything ok?”

Lilita nodded, “Yes.” She cleared her throat and glanced back over to the group still in the living room before turning back to Laura with a tight lipped smile. “I just wanted to thank you for inviting me to be a part of your holiday celebration.”

“Of course!” Laura smiled widely, trying to hide how nervous she actually was in this moment. “I mean, Carm was the one that wanted to invite you. Not that I didn't want to invite you, because of course I did. I just mean that, well if i’m being honest, you make me extremely nervous and I’m actually surprised I haven't passed out at this point.”

This earned a laugh from Carmilla’s mother. A honest and loud laugh.

Carmilla looked over at the sound, happy to tune out the awful singing and focus on something else. So she watched as her mother smiled and laughed— Something that she hadn't seen in a long time. And what made it even better was that it was with Laura. The woman she was totally and completely in love with.

Lilita’s laugher quieted and she lifted her hand to press her fingers against the necklace sitting against her chest, “Thank you. For the gift, Laura.”

Laura just smiled and nodded, trying not to explode at the fact that Lilita Morgan just said thank you. And used her name. Without it sounding like an insult. “Would you like to help me pass out pie?”

Lilita raised an eyebrow at the brunette and Laura immediately felt silly for asking. “I mean, I can do it. You don't have to. Its just pie, so its not hard to pass it out or anything.” She could hear her own voice getting higher and higher as she spoke but she just couldn't stop herself.

Lilita let out another chuckle to Laura’s surprise and took hold of a plate in each hand, “I would be happy to help pass out pie.”

——

**10:50pm**

“I know darlings, I wish I could stay longer, but I have to be getting back.” Mattie frowned and pulled Carmilla in for a hug. She ruffled her hair a bit before pulling back and grabbing her chin and shaking her face side to side gently, “New York isn't the same without you, little monster.”

Carmilla chuckled and nodded before looking to Laura who was standing next to her.

“But I suppose i’d be an idiot if I didn't see this is clearly where you belong.” Mattie followed up, smiling at Laura.

Laura and Mattie shared a hug before she took her leave and headed down the hallway. She was followed quickly by Danny and a tipsy Kirsch hanging loosely off of the red heads shoulder.

“We should get going too.” Danny groaned, shifting her grip on the tall stumbling man on her side, “Before he passes out and someone thinks i’m dragging around a dead body.”

Kirsch laughed loudly before throwing his arm out awkwardly, letting his hand plop down on Carmilla’s shoulder, “Great party, bro.”

Carmilla brushed his hand off her shoulder with a face of disgust as Laura giggled and went to give both of them hugs.

“Merry christmas, guys.” Laura smiled happily at them as she stepped back and took hold of Carmilla’s hand.

“D-bear!” Kirsch nearly fell over as his head fell backwards to look up. “Look!” he pointed upwards to the middle of the doorway with a goofy grin.

The three standing with him followed his gaze and saw the mistletoe directly above them in the doorway.

Danny rolled her eyes and completely missed the fact that Kirsch was leaning in and managed to plant a kiss on her lips before she knew what was happening.

Carmilla burst into laughter as Danny pulled back, shoving Kirsch in the shoulder and dropping her hold on him, causing him to nearly fall over, a look of shock and pure happiness on his face.

“Ugh! Kirsch!” Danny’s eyes went wide as the wiped her lips with the back of her arm and walked off without him, grumbling.

Kirsch’s smile grew impossible wide as he held his hand out for high five, which Carmilla was happy to give him. He gave her and Laura a thumbs up before stumbling after Danny, “D-bear! Wait up! It was for Christmas!”

Laura stifled a laugh by covering her mouth with her hand, watching the pair walk down the hallway shoving each other until they stepped into the elevator.

Carmilla took a step forward, stopping herself in the doorway and raised an eyebrow at Laura. She tugged on her hand, bringing her into the doorway as well. “It’s for Christmas.” She smiled mischievously before leaning forward and capturing Laura’s lips against her own.

——

**11:15pm**

Carmilla's mother had called for a car to take her home and Carmilla and Will had insisted on walking her down to say their goodbyes. Laf and Perry had left shortly after Kirsch and Danny, so that left Laura and her Dad alone in the apartment.

Laura dropped down on the couch next to her dad and his arm immediately wrapped around her shoulder, resting on the back of the couch.

“Merry Christmas, pumpkin.” He smiled at her and placed a kiss on the top of her head.

“Merry Christmas, dad.” She shifted further into his side, pulling her legs up underneath her and letting her head rest on his shoulder. For a big burly man, his presence was extremely comforting. “I”m glad you came out for Christmas. I know I was supposed to come home but—“

“Laura.” He cut her off quietly, hugging her closer, “I am so proud of you.”

She pulled back and looked up at him, surprised by his words. It wasn't exactly the topic of conversation, and his voice was much more serious than she was used to.

He smiled at her, “You’ve had quite the year.” He took a deep breath and nodded, “You’re not the same little girl you used to be.”

Laura smiled up at him, not missing how emotional he was actually getting, “Yeah well, I’ll always be your little girl.” She wrapped an arm around him and hugged his chest tightly.

——

**11:55pm**

“Thank God Christmas only happens once a year.” Camilla sighed heavily as her head hit the pillow.

Laura chuckled as she pulled back the covers and climbed into bed, settling herself on her side next to Carmilla. She took her hand and lazily started tracing lines up and down Carmilla’s arm that lay between them.

On her back, Camilla turned her head to look at Laura, “Not that I didn't completely enjoy the invasion of our apartment with Christmas cheer.” She deadpanned, with mild sarcasm in her voice. “And I had no idea Laf was so passionate about christmas carols.”

Laura just smiled and leaned forward to place a quick kiss on her lips, “Thank you.” She propped her head up on her hand, her elbow bracing her on the mattress, “I know it wasn't your thing.” She shrugged a shoulder and watched her fingers drag along pale skin.

“I have something for you.” Carmilla whispered.

Laura’s eyes lit up and a smile spread wide, “really?” she squeaked out.

Carmilla chuckled and moved to sit up in bed, “Yes, really.”

Laura copied her action and sat up next to her, bouncing with excitement. “But you already gave me one earlier tonight.”

Carmilla raised an eyebrow at her, “Did you really think my only gift to you was going to be a few dvd’s?”

Laura smiled, “I figured the real gift was you were going to watch them with me.”

Carmilla scoffed, “The entire series of Dr who?” she shook her head, “No way, creampuff.”

Laura just laughed as Carmilla leaned over the side of the bed and opened up the top drawer of the bedside table. She brought back a package wrapped neatly in shiny wrapping, a ribbon and bow tied neatly around it and set it on Laura’s lap.

This was already definitely nicer than the half assed wrapping of old newspapers and duct tape that had covered the dvd set earlier in the night.

“Carm, this is..” Laura picked up the package gently and brushed her thumb over the paper.

“You haven't even opened it yet, sweetheart.” Carmilla smiled and raised an eyebrow at her.

“Right.” Laura smiled bashfully as she started to unwrap the gift excruciatingly slow.

“At this rate, we can consider this next years gift too.” Carmilla commented sarcastically.

Laura shot her a look but got her point, ripping the paper open and tossing it to the side on the bed.

“Oh my God.” Laura whispered, brushing her fingers over the gift gently.

It was a journal, handmade and bound in dark leather. There was a gently worn string wrapped around it, keeping it closed. Laura un wound the string and let the book fall open gently. The binding was sewn in with linen thread, holding together the cotton paper held inside. Laura flipped through the empty pages slowly, admiring how beautiful and personal it seemed.

Carmilla watched her carefully, trying to gauge her reaction to it. She had been nervous, not knowing if it was as perfect a gift as she originally thought. She knew outside of work Laura kept journals, wrote stories, recorded her thoughts on anything and everything and hoped she would like it.

“This is amazing, Carm.” Laura glanced up at her before the pages flipping through her fingers landed on the very first one. Laura was about to shut the book when she noticed the neat cursive filling the first page. She knew without a doubt it was Carmilla’s hand writing.

_I, having loved ever since I was a child a few things, never_  
_having wavered_  
_In these affections; never through shyness in the houses of the_  
_rich or in the presence of clergymen having denied these_  
_loves;_  
_Never when worked upon by cynics like chiropractors having_  
_grunted or clicked a vertebra to the discredit of these_  
_loves;_  
_Never when anxious to land a job having diminished them by_  
_a conniving smile; or when befuddled by drink_  
_Jeered at them through heartache or lazily fondled the fingers_  
_of their alert enemies; declare_

_That I shall love you always._  
_No matter what party is in power;_  
_No matter what temporarily expedient combination of allied_  
_interest wins the war;_  
_Shall love you always._

Laura let out a heavy sigh, her eyes starting to water. She shut the book and gently set it on the bedside table next to her before turning back to Carmilla.

Carmilla was watching her curiously, her eyebrows together, a slight frown as she noticed the tears welling up in Laura’s eyes.

Laura reached out and cupped Carmilla’s face gently and leaned in to place a kiss on her lips. “I love it.” she breathed out against her mouth. She felt Carmilla relax and she kissed her again, this time with more heat.

Carmilla hummed against her mouth and pulled back reluctantly, “You cant do that when your father is in the next room.” She grumbled before ignoring her own words and leaning forward to kiss Laura again, biting on her bottom lip before pulling back until it escaped her teeth with a pop.

“Wait” Laura said breathlessly before Carmilla attached their lips again, leaning into her, causing her to lay back down. “Wait” she repeated with a giggle as Carmilla moved to climb on top of her.

“What?” Carmilla pulled back from the kiss as she situated her legs to straddle Laura, her hands placed on either side of her head as she hovered above her.

“I have something for you too.” Laura smiled and grabbed Carmilla’s waist with her hands.

“Oh I know you do.” Carmilla replied with a wink and a sly smile before leaning down and leaving a line of open mouthed kisses along Laura’s neck.

Laura giggled again and pushed her hands into Carmilla’s waist to sit her up, “No I’m serious.”

Carmilla pulled back with a smile on her face before sitting back, and moving her hands to trail down Laura’s arms until she could intertwine their fingers. She looked down at the girl underneath her with complete adoration, “Alright cupcake, what is it?”

Laura smiled wide before biting her bottom lip for a second. She sat up with Carmilla still in her lap and bounced up to kiss her lips quickly before shoving her to the side and off of her lap and onto the bed.

Carmilla landed on her side with an ‘oof’ before looking at Laura with confusion as she climbed out of bed and started putting on shoes.

“Follow me.” Laura whispered before wiggling her eyebrows at Carmilla and tiptoeing towards the door.

Carmilla groaned but did as she was told anyway. She slowly climbed off the bed and pulled on her boots to follow Laura. They walked through the living room, stopping to ‘Shhh’ each other as they walked past a snoring papa Hollis on their couch.

Once they were out of the apartment, Laura started to drag Carmilla quickly down the hall towards the elevator. 

 _Their elevator._  

Laura pulled Carmilla inside and then found herself being pushed up against the back wall by Carmilla’s body. Lips were on her neck and hands were gripping tightly to her waist before making their way under her night shirt, fingertips brushing across ribs.

“Carm.” Laura giggled and placed her hands on Carmillas shoulders and pushed her away gently, “I didn't pull you into the elevator to do what we could have done in our bedroom.”

Carmilla sighed dramatically, “Alright fine, but it wouldn't be the first time.”

Laura tried to hide a smile as she shook her head and stepped forward to press one of the buttons, “It also wouldn't be the first time Perry yelled at us for doing things in the elevator.”

Carmilla rolled her eyes and leaned back against the wall, her hands gripping the railings lining the elevator. Laura slid into the space at Carmilla’s side and bumped her elbow into Carmilla’s ribs. When the dark haired girl looked over at her, Laura’s head was leaning back, her eyes locked on the stars on the ceiling.

“I cant believe they are still here.” Laura whispered before looking over at Carmilla.

Carmilla just smiled. Laura didn't need to know she re-marked the ceiling whenever she noticed them fading. The last time being the same night they were in the bar during the blackout.

Once the elevator came to a stop, Laura took hold of one of Carmilla’s hands and led her out into the hall and over to the stairwell that would take them to the roof. Carmilla had guessed thats where Laura was taking her, but she wasn't sure why.

They stepped out onto the roof and immediately felt the chill in the air. Carmilla wrapped her arm around Lauras shoulder and rubbed her arm up and down in an attempt to create some heat. “Alright, cupcake. What are we doing up here?”

“Well first of all, you are _really_ hard to shop for.” Laura wrapped her arm around Carmilla’s waist and pulled her in tightly against herself.

“And second…” She led Carmilla over towards the edge of the building and made a wide gesture with her arm, “Merry Christmas.”

Carmilla stopped walking, her lips parting slightly and her eyes widening in genuine surprise.

“Do you like it?” Laura asked nervously, turning to look at Carmilla then back to the gift.

“Laura, this is..” Carmilla took a step towards it and brushed her fingers along it, “I love it.”

Sitting atop a dark wood tripod with aged brass accents was a beautiful antique brass telescope.

“I thought it would make it easier to see the stars.” Laura shrugged, “You know, even with all the lights from the city.”

Carmilla turned back to look at her with a wide smile on her face. She was speechless and all she could think to do was kiss her. So she did.

They stayed on the roof, looking through the telescope, Carmilla pointing out constellations and mapping the sky, until they couldn't stand the cold any longer. Making their way back inside and falling asleep with whispered I love you’s and sleepy kisses.

——

**Christmas Day**

**7:43am**

Carmilla shuffled lazily out of the bedroom, yawning and rubbing her eyes with her palms. She wasn't sure why she was awake that early when she didn't need to be, but she knew she needed coffee if she was going to have to stay awake for the rest of the day.

“Good morning!”

Carmilla stopped abruptly, having completely forgotten about Laura’s father still being there. _Thank god she put on pants._ "Good morning, Mr Hollis, sir.”

For as nervous as Carmilla’s mother made Laura, Laura’s father made Carmilla even more nervous.

He let out a chuckle and set down a mug of coffee on the counter and pushed it towards Carmilla, which she happily accepted. Gripping both hands around the warm mug and bringing it up to her lips.

They shared a moment of silence together, both sipping on their coffee before Laura’s father spoke up, “Carmilla. I like you.” He said matter of factly.

Carmilla couldn't help but smile. She knew Laura’s dad was a pretty loving man in general, but it made her happy to know he like her. “Thank you—“

“It helps that my little girl loves you.”

Carmilla could sense there was more coming, that this conversation wasn't going to be as simple as it had started. But her smile grew wider at how much her heart felt knowing what he was saying was true. Laura did love her.

“And you? Do you love her?” He interrupted her thoughts with a voice that was more serious than it had started out.

Without thinking, Carmilla gave the most honest reply she could, “Even when I hate her.” 

She immediately realized that could have been the exact wrong thing to say to Laura’s father and the realization was written all over her face.

Laura’s father narrowed his eyes at her briefly, considering her answer, before letting out a hearty laugh.

Carmilla sighed in relief and forced a nervous smile before taking another sip of her coffee. If she was drinking something, she couldn't say anything else stupid.

“That’s exactly how I felt about her mother.” He chuckled to himself, setting his mug down on the counter and smiling at Carmilla. “She looks more and more like her every day.”

Carmilla let her eyes glance up at him over her mug. She could see the sadness in his smile, the same fullness of emotion in his eyes that she often saw in Laura's. 

"She has your eyes." Carmilla spoke softy. She wasn't sure if that was the right thing to say in this moment. She was never really good with conversations like this but since meeting Laura, she hadn't been able to avoid them. 

Laura's dad glanced up at her, a bit of the sadness in his expression leaving.

"You laugh the same too." Carmilla smiled, thinking of Laura's laugh. "It's like an explosion of happy."

This made Laura's father laugh, exactly like Carmilla had just described, which made her laugh along with him. 

As the quietness of the morning filled the room again, Carmilla lifted her cup to her lips, letting the warm coffee warm her from the inside out.

"Thank you, Carmilla." Mr Hollis smiled warmly at her.

Carmilla just smiled back and gave him a nod. Maybe these kinds of conversations weren't so bad after all.

"Hey you two." Laura said sleepily as she walked into the room.

"Ah, she wakes." Carmilla smiled, reaching her arm out, inviting laura to press into her side. 

Laura's dad smiled at them both before clapping his hands together and turning around to the stove, "alight girls, who wants Christmas pancakes?" He went right into searching the cupboards for what he needed to make breakfast as Laura snuggled closer into Carmilla's side with a sleepy sigh. 

Carmilla turned and pressed a kiss to Laura's temple before pulling back to look at her. Laura smiled up at her, with the same eyes as her father.

"Merry Christmas, Carm." She whispered before pushing herself to her toes to place a gentle kiss on her cheek. 

Carmilla felt her cheeks warm and looked down at the counter bashfully before looking back up, "Merry Christmas, Laura."      

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: yoitsmeecass (in case you want to say hey)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic.. so whatever. Don't really know how these things really go, I just had the idea and felt like writing. hope you enjoy.


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